Dauntless Bootcamp: The Tertiary
by Leneah1
Summary: Third book in the DAUNTLESS BOOTCAMP series: Dani has been through so much in the last few months and it's impact on Eric is starting to show. How will they get through this, will they get through this, and is it truly over? Can they have the Happily Ever After she always dreamed of?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello my wonderful people. Sorry about the short delay in the start of the new book, but here it is! I really hope you enjoy this new on as much as the last two. Enjoy!**

 **This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!**

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Preface**

Walking down the street in town, I don't see anyone. Something just doesn't seem right, although I really can't put my finger on what. The sun is out, shinning bright and as I stand on the beginning of Main Street, I can see the other end of town off in the distance. A mix of one and two story buildings, mostly brick, line both sides of the street of this one stop light town like it's straight out of a old movie. This town is so small, I can't possibly fathom how people actually enjoy living here. However at the moment the point seems moot since I don't see a single person.

I start walking toward the other end of town, not quite sure why I am here or where I am going. Looking into the shops, the lights are on and the signs hanging on the doors show open but again I still see no one. An eerie feeling going down my back makes me shiver despite the sun shinning on me.

Making it another block down the road, I decide to go into the pharmacy that's on the corner. There are always people there and right now this seemingly lack of connection to anyone is starting to freak me out. I push open the door but there is no one here either. The low isles allow me to see everything. I can see all the way to the back where the pharmacist is usually standing talking to customers but nothing, no one.

"Hello?"

I hear only silence. I am officially confused and freaked as I turn myself in slow circles trying to hash this current situation out in my head. Granted this is a small place, I have never seen it like this. If something was going on then why would all the stores look like they are open still? It's almost like everyone has completely disappeared.

A flash from somewhere outside catches my eye. I head back out the door returning to the street and looking for the source of the only movement I have seen in what feels like forever. As I turn around taking in everything around me, I suddenly notice the sky has become cloudy and dark but before I can question the sudden change I see a familiar figure far down the street.

"Finally!" Walking as fast as seems appropriate to not make me look like a crazy loonatic, I make my way toward the person. As I get closer, a smile spreads across my face as I finally realize who it is. I'm instantly filled with relief.

"Jeff!" I shout because he is still pretty far away.

His head snaps up and don't quiet meet mine as he looks right past me. Not happy eyes or interested eyes but angry eyes. His face contorts into a smug look and instead of walking to meet me, he turns and heads toward the side street he is standing in front of.

"Jeff?" I shout again but this time he doesn't look at me.

Panic rises in me and I can't help but begin to run toward him. I don't care if I look crazy, I don't want to be alone and I have a bad feeling about what ever is going on. "Jeff?!" I yell as he disappears behind the building. My run turns into a sprint as I go after him.

No matter how hard I push my legs, it feels like it is taking me much longer than it should to reach the edge of the building and the longer it takes, the more panicked I feel. After what seems like a life time I finally make it around the corner where I come to a sudden stop. In the middle of the road about two blocks down, Jeff is standing facing away from me, next to another rather large man with his hand on the large man's slouched shoulder.

 _What the hell is going on?_

"Jeff?" I say loudly once more as I cautiously stand waiting for him to see me.

He doesn't say anything, he just stands there seemingly talking to the other man who also appears very familiar. It doesn't take long to realize the man he is talking to is Eric. There is no way I could mistake his almost overbearing and perfectly shaped outline. Only there is something wrong, his posture is small, weak instead of tall and confident.

"Eric?" I almost whine as I crave some sort of acknowledgement.

Eric falls to his knees and hunches forward burying his face in his hands as his body begins to shake. Jeff follows him, kneeling at his side and moving to placing both his hands on Eric's shoulders. My chest is suddenly heavy with sadness and fear. _What would possibly hurt Eric so bad that he would act this way?_ I have never seen him like this and what even is more strange is the fact that Jeff is the one consoling him.

An overwhelming need to comfort Eric moves my feet forward in a rush, but as I begin shuffling toward him, I don't seem to be getting any closer. Pushing myself faster, I try to reach them but it seems like the faster I go, the further away they are getting even though they are static, kneeling in the middle of the road.

"Eric, Jeff, please!" I beg them to turn around and notice me, but it does no good, they just get further and further away. _What is going on? What is happening?_ A cold chill run over my body as they fade into the distance.

"Please, please don't leave me alone!" I say in defeat as I slow down now that I'm out of breath and can no longer make them out.

"Please..." My whisper fills the cold empty air around. I am alone again. I stop and fall to my knees, I don't know what to do anymore. This isn't fair. _Why is it that I always end up alone in the end?_

The air turns even colder as I sit there mad, sad and confused. Then I feel it. A dark creepy feeling crawls up my back as I sense a presence behind me. Not the comforting, happy presence of those I love and care about that I was praying for.

My body becomes ridged as the ground stirs behind me. "Hello again." The deep rancid voice breathes behind me. "You will never have a happy ever after!"

* * *

 **So what did you guys think? Don't be afraid to give me your honest opinion. You know I always love to here what you think. Since it took so long and the first chapter turned out to be quiet long, I split it out to have a introduction chapter. I will be posting the first full length chapter tomorrow. This was more like a teaser. The chapter is already written I just have to edit it so look for it tomorrow. Until next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello Everyone. Here is the next chapter as promised. Sorry it is a little late in the day but I found out my mother has colon cancer and I have been having a hard time today, but it is here and I really hope you enjoy it. Despite all my sorrows, these books still bring me happiness as do all of you!**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

 _(Friday, December 25th)_

I sit up suddenly and try to hide my heaving chest from Marlene who is making her bed.

"Merry Christmas!"

 _Geez, pipe down with the cheerfulness, I'm not in the mood after that dream._ I drag myself out of bed and start to get on my workout clothes. I am clueless to why I subject myself to this cruel and unusual punishment now that I am not even a cadet here.

"Hurry up or we will be late. There is nothing worse than getting your man's glare for showing up to P.T. late."

Glaring at her, I show my own protest to her words but she is right. It's funny how he can make you feel so much like a kid with a look. A look that makes you feel like an errant disobedient child. At least it isn't only me that feels that way.

"You know, I really wish you two would go back to your happy-go-lucky attitudes. He was so much more tolerable then." She gives me a pointed look.

"What? I have tried but he is still acting weird around me." It's true. Saturday night he seemed to have been mostly back to normal but I have come to believe that was strictly because of the alcohol. The next morning he went right back to the way he had been acting. Things have lighted up a little since then but not much. Other than the hugs he gives me before we part ways at night, he still is very reserved when touching me. I know there are still questions in his head and I am pretty sure he's still harboring some blame for what happened to me.

While I appreciate his respect in trying to easy back into our physical contact, I'm really tired of him blaming himself for not saving me from Lynn and Sean. I was kidnapped, bad things happened and no matter what he did, there is no way he could have saved me. The blame falls on me, not him. After everything that had happened with Lynn, I should have been more alert. I should have known better then to go off so close to dark by myself. Everything that happened was from my stupidity, not an inability to protect me on his part.

I quickly braid my hair to the side, then throw on my coat, beanie and gloves while Marlene waits for me not so patiently by the door. We head out into the freezing cold toward the stage. It has been snowing almost non-stop since Monday. The nearby freeway has been closing on and off over the last few days for avalanche control down at Snoqualmie Pass.

I wonder if we will even have P.T or if it will be a repeat of the last few days. I don't know which is worse. At least the snow has stopped for the moment and the morning is still and quiet.

Marlene and I stomp through the new snow that has fallen over night, making our way over to the stage. It is still dark but with the lights all reflecting on the snow, it is quite bright out here. Everyone has already formed into lines on the path in front of the stage because the snow is too high everywhere else. As expected, Eric gives us a look of disappointment for our tardiness as we join the other staff members in the back of group.

Although Max has not ordered it, the entire staff, including him, have been out here every morning this week to help out. Things around here seem to work like that, it's just implied we are expected to pull our own weight and help out with everything. Harrison has also caught on to the unsaid atmosphere of the camp and has joined us.

Eric attention quickly moves away from our late entrance and back to the group. "As I was saying, we will shoveling snow for P.T. again today. We will stay in our same groups. My group will take the west side, Four's group will take the east, Zeke's will take south side and Paulo's will take the north. I expect all walk ways and the entrances to the buildings to be clear in time for breakfast. Shovels are in front of me so lets get to work. Your dismissed."

 _Well so much for a 'Merry Christmas'._ We all move to grab the snow shovels from the stage and break into our groups. Eric had split up all the staff on Monday when we first started shoveling snow for P.T. Naturally he put me with him but you wouldn't notice there was anything between us by the way he keeps me at a distance most of the time.

I make my way to our assigned area for today trailing at the back of Eric's group, with Tris and Chris. They will only be staying to help out for a short time before they go to the mess haul to prepare breakfast. Tris has been told not to work too hard but she insist on helping, just like everyone else. In so many ways, I see myself in her. She is so strong, loyal and sometimes even defiant. I suppose several of us girls here at camp fall under that same categorization.

Although I was upset at Chris for the conversation I had overheard the other day, I don't hold it against her. She is just like the rest of us. We all say things and I am sure she was just reacting to the situation. Her animosity wasn't really against me, it was just me getting all the attention. She likes to have the attention and quite frankly I don't mind if she has it. I figured holding it against her won't no good for anyone.

As we get to work, Skyler starts mumbling out his complaints of having to do work. Listening to this all week has really begun to get on my nerves. I've been trying to keep my mouth shut to let Eric deal with it but currently he is not within earshot and I have about had enough.

"This is slave labor at it's best." He mumbles once more.

I stand up and glare at him. "Are you serious? Really? Slave labor?" I throw my hands around me to all the other people working. "Everyone here is pitching in and doing their part. Even the pregnant one is doing it and without complaint I might add. So why don't you keep your whining to yourself because I am tired of hearing it already."

"Whatever, you are just out hear to google at the eye candy." He can't be serious. While he may be slightly attractive, his rude disrespectful attitude totally overshadows anything else he may have. "What? You think I am out here just to look at you? Please don't make me vomit." He lets out a chuckle. "Not me, Eric! We all see how you look at him with those googgly eyes."

Eric stands up straight, his attention now on us as he has probably picked up on our conversation. "You know what? I suggest you get back to work and shut your mouth before it gets you into even more trouble." I say trying to end this before Eric gets involved. Skyler takes a step toward me and Eric follows with several steps of his own so he is only a few feet behind Skyler. I slyly raise my hand a little to signal him to let me handle it but seeing his balled up fist at his side, I know he won't be patient for long.

Skyler's face is plastered with anger but I really don't think he will do anything. I saw through his facade a while back. He is a whole lot of talk and not so much bite. He looks like he wants so bad to say something but he just stands there. "Cadet, we both know it is in your best interest to walk away now and that is exactly what I suggest you do. Get back to work and pull your weight just like everyone else." He thinks about it for a moment and then turns around to continue working. When he does, he almost runs right in to Eric's chest.

Eric's lips turn up slightly. "That is the first intelligent I have seen you do since you got here." Skyler just huffs and walks around him. Eric gives me a slight smile in approval and then turns to go back to his shoveling. The small recognition lifts my spirits considerably.

Everyone keeps their heads down for the rest of the time and by a little after six we are done. It is now possible to walk around the path and into any of the buildings without fighting with the snow. I can only hope it stays that way because I really am tired of shoveling snow every day. It isn't so much the work as it is the way I feel afterward. I am sweaty, sticky and in a huge need of a shower. At least when I work out in the gym or run in the summer, I have very little clothing to have to worry about. Eric calls everyone back to the stage before dismissing us all early.

The hard work has made me hungry in which my stomach makes known with a loud growl. I can smell the food already and I can't wait to get some. Tris and Chris left about fifteen minutes after we started shoveling, but I am sure once we start eating, everyone will be grateful. The thought of food pushes my legs quicker toward my cabin, but I come to a sudden stop as Eric steps in front of me.

"Hey you got a sec." He ask quietly. I look around us and most of the cadets have already gotten back inside while everyone else is close to being back to their cabins. "Sure."

"I just wanted to tell you that you handled that thing with Skyler very well. He was getting on my last nerve and these days, I don't have many left." I give him a shy smile. I know it isn't in his nature to compliment people or to explain his feelings and you can always tell by his uneasiness. "Thanks. I, um, really want to take a quick shower before breakfast."

"Sure. I just wanted to say Merry Christmas and give you this." He pulls a small box out of his pocket and gives it to me. "Eric, you didn't have to get me anything. I mean, I don't have anything for you." He lets out a huff that almost comes out as a laugh. "I have you, I don't need anything else. Go take your shower and open it. I'll see you at breakfast." He gives me his signature smile and wink before he turns and heads for the instructors cabin. My heart flutters. I will never get tired of seeing that. Even when I can see the unease tension behind it.

I head back to my cabin with a smile on my face. I really don't like that he spent money on me again but it is Christmas and it was extremely sweet of him. I just wish I had gotten him something. I have no idea when he had time to go get anything. I haven't seen him leave lately and I know no one has gone anywhere in this ridiculous snow we have had this week.

Marlene is in the shower when I get back so I sit on my bed and begin undressing. When I am down to my underclothes I have nothing else to do but wait for Marlene to finish. I pick up the box Eric gave me. It is a black box tied closed with a red ribbon. Untying it, I open the box just to find another box inside and a small note, 'A princess for my princess'. He can be so sweet. More curious, I open the velvet blue and silver box and my heart stops.

I have never seen anything so extraordinary in my life. It is a heart necklace unlike anything I have ever seen. Blue stones clustered together to make a beautiful heart, while a ribbon of white diamonds tie around it splitting it into three parts. Elegant writing describes it in the lid, 'Princess Cut Blue Diamond Past, Present, Future Heart Pendant'.

 _WOW!_ I am speechless.

"What are you staring at?" Marlene ask coming out of the bathroom but I still can't say anything. She comes to sit next to me and grabs my hand holding the box to steady it. I didn't even realize I was shaking as I try to not burst into happy tears.

"Whoa, that is crazy beautiful. Is that what Eric got you for Christmas?" I nod my head slowly. This one piece of jewelry has put so much hope into my own heart. He is still thinking of a future. A future with me.

"Well at least he has some taste. Maybe he should give Paulo some pointers." I can't help but laugh. "What did you get?" I ask her.

"I don't know yet, he said he would give it to me tonight. Knowing him it isn't a necklace. With him it is more likely to be sexual in nature." _Oh my gosh!_ "T.M.I Marlene! I really don't need to know what you and Paulo do behind closed doors." She laughs at me and I quickly put the box in my drawer with my other necklace Eric got me. "I am going to take a shower and try not to imagine what the hell you are talking about."

"Come on Dani, don't act like you don't know. We all know Eric is a freak in bed. It's no secret." My almost happy tears turn into a happy smile, because yes, it's true. I will never forget the first time he tied my hands together or any of our many impromptu meetings while I was a cadet. Not that I would tell her any of it other then maybe some loose details. I roll my eyes at her hoping she will drop it.

"Marlene enough, I am not talking about my crazy sex life with you." She laughs as I realize what I just said.

"So it is true. You just said it yourself, or at least you didn't deny it which means it is true." I feel my face turning red as a tomato.

"I did not say that. You tricked me. Your so horrible!" I say all flustered and grab my clothes to go take a shower as I try to hide the smile on my face.

* * *

"What are you so smiley about?" Jeff ask as I sit down to the table next to him.

"Nothing." I say trying not to let my embarrassment show. "Marlene and I were just talking about something." Marlene hasn't let up trying to find out the secrets of Eric and my relationship. Naturally I avoided most of it but my blushing was more than enough of an answer to some of her questions. She definitely isn't all innocent as she plays out to be.

"Care to elaborate?" He looks at me expectantly. "Definitely not!" I push the heat away from my cheeks. I don't need him start this either.

"Definitely not what?" Eric ask sitting down next to me. "Oh, she was just telling me that her and Marlene were having an interesting conversation that had her smiling like a fool."

"Really! Well am I privy to that conversation?" He looks at me with that damn trademark smirk, so I squeeze his leg under the table. "Maybe later." I give him a quick wink to hopefully placate his curiosity for now.

"What? Why does he get to know?" Jeff whines at me and his curiosity getting on my nerves. "Because the conversation was about him, now drop it!"

He stares at me for a moment before it finally clicks in his head. "Oh, Oh! Yeah, on second thought, maybe I don't want to know. Never mind."

"Well I do and I can't wait to hear it." Eric says in my ear as he runs his fingers up the inside of my thigh. I have to use all my strength to sit still. I grab his hand to stop him from moving it any further up because I am two seconds from exploding.

"Keep that up and I won't be telling you, I will be showing you." I whisper to him.

With a curious smirk he goes back to eating his breakfast and I am glad he seems to be in a much better mood today. "So what's on the agenda for tonight?" I ask quietly.

"Everyone is getting together for a little poker but we don't have to go if you don't want to." I look up at him. "Why wouldn't I want to?" He looks a little confused. "I just wasn't sure you were up to drinking and poker. We can go if you want to." Maybe I sounded a little more defensive than I thought. "I'm fine Eric. We can go and I really think it will be good for us to go and relax with everyone." He eye's me suspiciously.

"Okay." He says simply before shrugging his shoulders and passing off what ever thoughts that were just going through his head.

I want so bad to ask him what he was thinking but I know it will get me nowhere. "So where are we having this get together?"

"We figured we would have it in the instructor's dorm so everyone can play and be around each other since it is Christmas. Max already okayed Shauna to spend the evening here."

I really haven't been around a large group of people in a while. It will be nice to just sit and chill out with everyone. "Is everyone coming?" I ask because I am curious about Max and Tori. The don't usually join us but it would be a shame for them to spend it alone. It also hasn't slipped my attention that I have not seen them at breakfast.

"Max and Tori are actually leaving for here in a little while to get spend the day with their families. They will be back until tomorrow and I am in charge while they are away." I hear a bit of pride in his voice as he says the last part. He really does like having the power. "I am not sure about Harrison. As far as I know he is sticking around camp. I doubt he has anyone around here." The smugness in his voice is really disheartening.

"Well did anyone tell him we were getting together?" Eric just shrugs his shoulders, completely not caring. I purse my lips a little irritated at him and turn to Jeff.

"Did you tell Harrison about tonight." I ask Jeff not caring that I can hear my frustration at Eric.

"Uh, no, not yet. I will make sure to mention it to him."

Eric gives Jeff and me both an irritated look. "Good, I wouldn't want anyone to feel left out, it is Christmas after all." Eric turns his head away from me, no doubt he probably is rolling his eyes at me but I really don't care. I know he isn't a big fan of Harrison's but he doesn't need to be a jerk about him hanging around. Other than the few times he has made me a little upset, he does seem to be a caring person and it is only right we show the same back to him.

"Hey Dani?" I turn around at Chris's voice. "Can you help me with dinner this evening?"

"Uh, sure. No problem." It will be a nice break from the evening classes. Besides, generally, I like to cook so I don't mind helping out with meals. "Great." She say before walking back to the other table to sit with Four and Tris.

Tris is probably getting tired of being on her feet. It is the only thing I can think of to explain why she asked me instead of Tris. Tris has begun to show a lot and her little round belly is so adorable. So far she has only gained weight in her stomach so it looks like she just has a little ball under her shirt which is awesome. Whenever I decided to have a kids I can only hope to look as good as her.

* * *

"Chris, do you really think we needed this much food?" I ask while I try to balance five different trays on top of each other as we walk over the slippery snow to the instructors dorm. Marlene is beside me with just as many trays and Chris has four more.

"Yes now stop whining!"

"I am not whining." I say looking at her pointedly. Granted, a few of the trays are for the cadets, the majority of them are for us. I am not sure how she managed to talk me into helping her set up after we spent most of the afternoon and evening helping put them together. This is what I get for being so nice.

"Beside, they aren't all for us. Some of them are for the cadets."

"Chris, four of them are for the cadets, fifteen of them are for us. That is almost one per person."

"So, I bet you the guys finish almost all of them." Then again, she may be right. These guys eat a ridiculous amount of food. I imagine it is because they all work out a few hours a day. Although today, Eric informed everyone at dinner that we would not have evening P.T. tonight since it is Christmas.

The cadets were really excited to hear that but of course he had to follow it up by telling them they were confined to the dorms after seven tonight which they weren't to happy with. Just one more thing for them to complain about. In my mind, they got the best part of that deal.

We get into the dorms and I nod at Jeff and Will who are setting out chairs. I begin to lay out the platters while Chris takes several over to the cadet dorms. I continue to spread out the trays on the table and rearranging the few that Chris just threw down before scurrying out of the room.

"OCD getting to you hun?" Marlene says as she walks in behind me carrying a few bags.

"Shut up!" I say as I continue fixing the trays.

She is followed by Zeke and Paulo who are also carrying bags, mostly filled with alcohol. Looks like they plan on really having fun tonight. I hope they do realize it is Friday not Saturday and that we still have classes to teach tomorrow.

"Hey, Hey! It is almost party time." Paulo says as he starts unloading the alcohol on to the table. "Did you get enough?"

"Yep." He says smiling at me. "Well for me anyway." He shoves my arm softly and I let out a laugh despite the quick sudden spike of my heart beat. Sometimes I wonder how these guys really have a job with the way they act. It's almost like I am around a bunch of teenagers sometimes. Well technically some of still are but that is beside the point.

"We ready or what?" I turn around to the sound of the voice that can set my heart on fire. His eyes meet mine and he gives me a smile smile before setting the poker chips down on the table.

"Of course we are. Everything is done and perfect as always!" Chris pipes up as she re-enters the room.

"Jeff. Did you check on the cadets? Are they all in the dorms?" _Man can he ever lighten up._

"Yes Eric. They have been locked in for the last twenty minutes. I already gave them the ground rules and did a head count five minutes ago. We are good to start having a good time."

Eric picks up his tablet off his desk and starts tapping on it. When he seems satisfied he sets it down and nods toward us. "Alright warden has given his okay. Now let's play some damn poker."

Everyone laughs and snickers at Paulo's outburst. Everyone except Jeff who just rolls his eyes before turning around so Eric can't see the scowl on his face. I swear these two never quit but my smile is a natural reaction to seeing them bicker.

"Actually before we sit down I wanted to tell everyone something." Tris says as she steps in the middle of the room with Four right behind her. We all turn and give her our attention. "We just wanted to tell everyone that we had an ultrasound today." She pauses and turns back to look at Four. The cheesiest grin spreads across his face as he looks into her eyes.

"Stop googling your man and say it already!" Chris shouts and Tris looks down shyly as her face turn red.

With a shake of her head, she regains herself. "We just wanted you guys to be the first to know...We are having a boy!"

The room erupts into cheers from almost everyone. The guys make their way over to congratulate Four while us girls gravitate toward Tris. I give Tris a big hug when it is my turn and congratulate her. As I move to the side to give the next person a turn, I catch a glimpse of Eric who is looking at me with such an odd expression from the edge of our little crowd. _I really wish I knew what was going through his mind._ I make my way over to him with the intention of finding out, although I know from experience, it probably won't happen but you can't blame a girl for trying.

"Hey, you okay?" I look up in his eyes as I grab his hand. "Yeah, why?"

"The way you were looking at me. What is going through your head right now?"

His lip turns up a little and he bits lightly on his lip which is a look he typically reserves for when we are alone. "It's just nice to see a real smile on your face."

"I smile."

"You smile but it has been a while since it has reached those unforgettable eyes of yours." He runs his thumb down the side of my cheek before he gives me a sweet quick kiss on the temple. My body fills with warmth at his perfect words.

"Come on, lets go play poker so I can win these dumb asses money." He says with a quick chuckle as he grabs my hand and leads me over to the table.

* * *

 **So there it is guys. Hope you enjoyed it. I have some really good things planned out for this book and I can't wait to get this new book written. As always, I love to hear from you guys so feel free to leave me your comments or reviews, good or bad, they are always appreciated. Until next time!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello, Hello. I have just an awesome chapter for you. I really love how this one turned out and I hope you feel the same. So please read and enjoy!**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

 _(Thursday, December 31th)_

"If you don't knock off this damn mood, I am going to stop hanging out with you." Chris whines at me

"No one is stopping you. You can always go hang out with Lauren."

"Ugg, no thanks. Her and Uri ah's constant flirting is making me sick. I mean they aren't even together anymore and Lauren is even leaving to go to Chicago soon. What are they thinking?"

"Why don't you go hang out with Will?"

"I was but then he started explaining the advantages of the trackers we have to Harrison and it totally bored the crap out of me. That is why I came over here."

 _Lucky me._ It isn't like I want to be completely alone but I came over and sat on Eric's bed because I didn't think anyone else would be brave enough to sit on his bed. In fact, he is giving Christina a death stare right now.

I try not to laugh. He is so predictable sometimes. Other times not so much. Even more so lately. Every time I think things are getting better, he proves me wrong. It has been several weeks and yet he still barely touches me, but then acts so concerned about anything I do.

"Another Royal Fuck for the pretty ladies." Jeff hands each of us another of Eric and Paulo's special drink. This is the third one and Eric glances at me with disapproval but doesn't say anything, he just turns his attention back to the game. This is the same thing he did on Christmas although I was trying to be good that night, making it a point not to get to drunk, but after nothing happened that night and another week of him being hot then cold, then hot again, I don't care anymore.

Every thing I have tried to get us back to normal has failed. I've tried being sweet, caring, bitchy, demanding and nothing works. Some times he will smile or look at me with those beautiful eyes like I am the most important thing in the world but then he keeps me at arms length.

I swear I am so ready to just give up. _Why I am still even trying?_ He has obviously lost interest with me physically. I mean, I really can't blame him. I'm damaged goods now. He probably is discussed with the thought of being with me intimately.

At first I was grateful he gave me space to get use to physical contact again but then I began to crave it and each time I make an advance toward him he doesn't reciprocate. He just gives me these sad eyes or hesitates and gets lost in thought. Just like a few minutes ago when I lost the last of my chips playing poker. I went over to sit on his lap which is what I would normally do 'before' but this time he was just so stiff. He didn't run his hands up and down my waist or thighs, no absently minded kisses on my neck as he plays his hand. He just sat there like he was uncomfortable with me sitting on his lap which is exactly why I gave up and just decided to come sit in the corner of the room by myself.

"Hello? Are you even listening to me?" Chris says as she snaps her fingers in front of me. I look up. _Shit, what was she saying?_

I can't help but notice several people's attention is now on us including Eric who raises an eyebrow at me. _Urgg, I am tired of this shit._ "Sorry Chris, I am just not in the mood." I tell her quietly as I stand up.

I quickly choke down the drink that is in my hand while everyone stares at me. I set the glass down a little harder on Eric's desk than I meant to and turn to see now everyone is staring at me. Jeff is standing next to Harrison, both looking concerned and Eric eye's are scrunched together like he is uncomfortable, but I'm really done caring. I need to get out of here.

Walking toward the door, Eric reaches out to grab my hand but I quickly move further to the side so I am out of his reach. "I need some fresh air." I tell him as I grab a beer and walk toward the door. I see the battle going on in his mind on whether or not to follow me but my guess is he won't . It's better that way, I just want to be alone because I am feeling fucking emotional right now and I hate it.

Making it out the door I hear a bunch of murmuring over the music playing but I have no desire to hear what they say even though it is clearly about me. Not wanting to be inside right now, I head for my spot behind the cabins because I am not sure where else to go. I am actually surprised Eric let me come outside by myself so late at night. It's almost midnight. So close to another year making it way into my life.

 _Another year._ I made it through two-thousand fifteen. So much has happened this year. It's scary to think that this time last year I was contemplating whether or not I even wanted to see another year.

 **Flashback**

Another year gone by and it was no better than the year before. I'm alone in the apartment, so I make my way out onto the fire escape and sit with my legs hanging off. Mom and Dad went off to spend New Year's at their friend's house who always host a poker party. All my sisters are off doing their own thing and my brother left a little while ago to go hang out with his friends. As per the norm, he asked me if I wanted to go but I turned him down. I just want to be alone tonight.

 _Alone. When am I not alone anymore?_

Even when I am around people, I have to keep my distance. I'm there but I'm not. I really don't have anyone to talk to and even if I did I don't think I would. I just wish I could get close to someone. To be able to feel someone's touch without completely freaking out.

I tried this year. Tried to be with someone, but even with someone as timid as Al and I still couldn't do it. No matter how hard I tried. I know he liked me a lot but I had to end it. He was falling for me and it became increasingly clear I wouldn't ever be able to be with him.

 _I'm pathetic. Seventeen years old and I can't even stand to be touched by a guy. What the hell is the point even more?_

I stand up and climb the fire escape up to the roof. I step up onto the ledge looking over our neighbor hood. It's a little cold tonight but I see people out everywhere. The sounds of music coming from all around me of those having their New Year's Eve parties. Having fun with their friends and loved ones, making new resolutions for the year, ready to ring in another year that they are looking forward to.

A night everyone enjoys, but me. Standing here alone is fitting because it represents everything that I feel inside me. I hear someone laugh loudly. Looking down, I see the source of the noise is a young couple passing me on the sidewalk below. I have never really been afraid of heights and standing here on the ledge, I feel just as comfortable as I would standing in the middle of a room.

The last few weeks I have been up here a lot. Late at night after everyone is asleep, when I can't sleep and need to clear my head. Most nights it is quieter, although this place is never truly quiet. There is always something going on around here whether it is the drug dealers hanging around the streets late at night, or the call girl looking to find their next hook up. I can stand here for hours watching the world pass me by.

I guess this is all I will ever be. A loner, watching everyone else live the life I only dream of. The only thing I have going for me is my mind. I will admit I am smart but that is all I have. I could probably go to college, get a degree and get a good paying job where I could live out the rest of my life living by myself with only a dog as a companion.

 _Is that life really worth living for?_

All it would take is one step. One step and I could end it all. End all of my longing, my suffering, my pathetic little life. If a life is what you could call it. If I want to be honest with myself, I already died a long time ago. At least back then, I had Jeff and Patrick. Now I don't even have that. I pulled away from the only two that could ever understand even a little.

 _Pathetic._

"You okay?" I jump slightly at my brothers voice as he finishes climbing up from the fire scape.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just needed some air."

"You been coming up here a lot lately." He sticks his hands in his pockets and kicks at the roof. He's obviously worried about me. At least that is one person.

"It's easier to think up here. Being away from everyone. It's peaceful up here."

"Peaceful?" He raises an eyebrow. "We're in Chicago. Is that a joke?"

I laugh a little. "You know what I mean." He nods as he comes to stand next to me.

"What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were going to Brian's party." As much as I love him I really wish he wasn't here right now.

"I am. I forgot my backpack. Biggest night of the year, can't miss out on that kind of opportunity." He looks at me. "You should come. Our cousins will be there, you know all my friends. Come on it will be fun."

I look down again at the street below me weighing my options. I really don't feel like being around people today, however a few beers will be enough to numb away everything I am feeling right now. I have just about had enough of this life.

I am suddenly flung backward as my brother pulls me away from the edge. Thankfully he lets go as soon as I stumble back a few feet. "Come on, your coming with me. No arguments. I don't like that look in your eyes and I am not leaving you alone." I begin to shake my head but he doesn't give up.

"Either you come with me or I'm staying home. Now are you going to be the reason I lose out on all this money tonight?"

 _Fuck. Why does he have to do this to me?_

I know it is because he cares and he knows I wouldn't keep him from making money. Anytime I need something, he is the first to give me money. Even if it is something as simple as money to take the train.

"Come on, what's it going to be. We sitting here and sulking all night or are we going to the party?"

I let out a big long sigh. "Fine you ass, let's go."

 **End Flashback**

I was so depressed that night. If my brother would have left me there, I might have decided to end my misery. Now I am here, a year later and that night is all I can think about. Granted I got my so called five minutes of happiness, it appears it's already over. What little bit of a life I could have had with someone, seems to be over almost as fast as it had begun.

The thought of us being done hurts so much. I don't want it to end, but I am at the end of my rope. I no longer know what to do to fix Eric's and my relationship. All because I can't catch a break. My life is a series of fucked up situations and each one just pushes me further and further.

 _How much can one person bare before they break?_

Fate is determined to see me suffer.I slide down the wall as tears begin to fall down my cheeks. I knew what Eric and I had could never last. I have never been able to keep anything happy in my life.

Again I have nothing. I have worked so hard the last few months hoping it wouldn't end. I thought maybe if I tried harder, there would be a chance I could have a happy life, even if it was only temporary. I knew it would end but I had a glimmer of hope I could at least be happy for a few years. Shit, I would even be happy if it lasted a year, but no such luck.

 _Great!_ Right now I wish I was back home. I could go up on the roof and maybe finish what I was thinking of last year. More tears fall. I don't want to be alone again. I don't want to go back to being sad and depressed all the time. I bang my head on the wall behind me trying to get the thoughts out of my head.

 _Pathetic. That's all I am_.

I do it again, and again. I feel the cold as it blows on the trail of tears that are now free flowing. I just want it to go away. Everything, I just want it to go away. Again, and again, I feel the wood on the back of my head.

"What the fuck?"

I ignore him. It doesn't matter anymore. I turn up the bottle drinking down several large gulps before I continue.

"Dammit Dani, enough!"

I don't stop. There is no point, but obviously I am not going to get what I want yet again. Jeff throws his leg over my head so he is above me and slides down behind me so that I am pushed forward away from the wall.

"Stop. It's okay." He whispers in my ear.

I put my head on my knees and my hands over my head.

"It's not! It's over Jeff. He doesn't love me anymore." I tell him through my tears.

"What are you talking about? Is that a joke?"

"I'm damaged, broken. I mean, I was before too but he didn't know me then. He was around when it happened this time."

"Dani, he still loves you. What happened to you didn't change that."

"I thought the same thing at first, but it's been weeks and he still won't hardly touch me. It isn't even just the physical side. He is always so distant these days. Even when he is with me, it's like he isn't there."

"He... He's just having a hard time." He stutters out.

"Him! What about me? This shit happened to me! AGAIN!" I am just a toy for everyone's amusement. Hitting the side of my head, I try to numb some of my pain.

"Hey, Hey!" He grabs my hands crossing them over my chest, as he holds me tightly to him so I am forced to stop. I give up and I lean my head back against his shoulder.

 _See I can't do anything I want!_

"Jeff, I am just so tired. Tired of everything." I say barely audible.

"Come on Dani. You are the strongest person I know. Don't let this break you. I know you can get through this."

 _Haven't I been strong enough?_

"I don't want to be alone again. I was so happy. For once in my life, I was really happy and now it is gone." He kisses my temple.

"You will never be alone. I will always be here for you. I promise." He says as he rest his head against mine. I take a deep breath.

"What the hell is this?" My heart jumps at the sound of his voice and I sit up but with Jeff's arms still wrapped around me so I can only go so far.

"She needs someone." Jeff says still not moving.

"She has someone!" I don't know what worries me more, the fact that his voice is so low and menacing or the fact that he still hasn't moved.

"Does she?" _Here we go._ Another pissing contest.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Jeff lets go of me and jumps up so quickly, I fall back smacking against the wall as he takes the few steps over to Eric. "Jeff, stop." I say trying to stop this misplaced anger.

"It means, if you don't get over yourself and soon, we are all going to lose her!"

"JEFF!" I shout standing up as quick as I can ready to go over and hit him for saying that, but I stop when the look on Eric's face goes from pure anger to shock.

His shoulders slump forward as he stares into my eyes, all anger forgotten. Jeff puts his hand on Eric's shoulder and whispers something to him before stalking away, but Eric's eyes never leave mine.

After a minute, he still doesn't move and I shake my head. "I'm fine Eric just go back inside." I lean back up against the building. If this is going to be over, just let it be over.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before coming over and standing in front of me. Seeing him with that expression is unbearable to so I look down to the ground. I don't think I can handle looking him in the eyes anymore knowing how this is going to go.

I feel his forehead on my own. "Please tell me it isn't true."

"What?" I whisper after a minute.

"You think I don't love you anymore?" I close my eyes because there is no way I can say it to his face. A lone tear falls down my face.

"Hey?" He pulls my chin up. "Your wrong. I love you. I will never stop loving you." I open my eyes and I can see he believes it's the truth.

"Some times love just isn't enough." The words leave my mouth before I can stop myself, but it doesn't make it any less true. Even if he loves me, he still is repulsed by me. "It's okay, I understand." I pull my face out of his hand and look to the side trying to hold in the tears threatening to break free.

"Don't say that." He puts his hands on my arms and I can't help but enjoy the small bit of contact but there is no reason to prolong this any longer.

"Eric, I understand."

"Understand what? Why do you keep saying that?" I can't, I can't say it. "Understand What?"

 _Why can't he just walk away? Why do I have to say it?_

"I'm damaged goods. I understand if you... you know, if you don't..." I can't finish my sentence.

"Dani..." I shake my head not wanting to hear him say it. _Please just walk away!_

"It's not like that. It's not you."

"Yeah, yeah I know and it's okay. Like I said, I understand. Just please g-go." I am barely able to say the last part. He squeezes my arms slightly.

"Dani..." _Just stop!_

"Look, I get it okay. You don't want me like that anymore so stop prolonging this and just go!" The tears spill over and I cover my face with my hands not wanting him to see me even more pathetic then I already am.

"Is that what you think? That I don't want you anymore." I'm not sure why he is getting mad but hearing the words out of his mouth just makes it hurt even more.

"Dammit Dani fucking look at me!" I shake my head not wanting to see the truth in his eyes.

"LOOK AT ME!" He shouts making me jump. His grip on my arms is starting to hurt. My hands fall from my face grabbing his arms tightly.

He immediately releases my arms and his demeanor softens just as fast. "Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I didn't mean to scare you. I just..."

He looks to the sky taking several deep breaths before looking back down at me. Gently he grabs both of my hands and brings them to his chest. "Look. I love you. I will always love you and your wrong. You are not damaged and I still want you just as much as I did the first night I kissed you."

He is just saying that. He can't possibly mean it. Why else would he be acting the way he has?

"I mean it babe." I close my eyes taking a deep breath. It feels so good to hear it but I know it isn't true. I feel his lips press softly against my own. Taking both my hands in one of his, he moves his other hand to hold my face to his.

"I need you. I just..." He mumbles into my lips. "I'm just..." He wraps his arms around me as he lays his chin on the top of my head. "I didn't want you to feel pressured. You went through some traumatic shit and I didn't want to push you. I can be a little overbearing and I didn't want you to do anything you weren't ready for."

"But what happened to you hasn't changed any feeling I have for you. Emotionally or physically. I have been..." He lets out a big sigh.

"Fuck... I was..." I pull back finally looking in his eyes. I know he is struggling but his inability to communicate right now is frustrating. "What Eric? Just say it already." _Here it comes._

"I'm fucking afraid okay." He drops his hands and takes several steps back looking a little frustrated himself as he rubs the back of his neck.

However I am even more confused now. When he doesn't continue right away, I give him my best 'of what' questioning look since I am unable to form a coherent word from my own mouth right now.

"Dani, I don't fucking know how to help you. I don't know what you need. For fuck sake I question everything I even think about saying to you because I am worried I am going to say the wrong thing. I am not the best person to deal with emotional situations and I have no idea how to help someone through their own."

He takes a step back toward me. "I'm going to fuck this up. I never can just do the right thing because every time I think I am doing some thing right, it turns out to be wrong and it makes me worried that I am going to hurt you."

He bites his lip and takes another step toward me gently taking my face in his hands. "I am afraid I am going to hurt you. I don't know how to talk to you. I don't know how to touch you. I just...I need you!" His lips are on mine once more but this time he is not holding back.

This is what I want. This is what I have needed. I needed him, just him, in all the ways he use to. I kiss him back with all the need and want that has been building inside me.

"I need you too!" I mumble on his lips. He lifts me by my thighs and I wrap myself around him. Without breaking our kiss he begins walking. My heart pounds with relief, with excitement, and with hope.

I hear the door shut and almost as quickly, I am on my bed as he crawls over me. He stops and pulls back to look into my eyes once more. "Are you sure? Please tell me if you can't handle this and..." I put my finger to his lips effectively stopping him.

"I need you Eric, just please, go slow." His eyes close for a moment and a smile spreads across his face before he leans back down to capture my lips again. With all the alcohol in my system my head is spinning but this is what I wanted. I just wanted him. This whole time, I just wanted to be close to him.

His lips leave mine as he pulls my shirt up and my bra down. I grab his hair as I try to keep my moans quiet. I don't want him to stop, I want this, but...but...

I push him off and jump up of the bed quickly running to the toilet. I make it just in time and my hair is swept back out of the way as I expel everything I have in my stomach. His hand comes around to support me as I finish my embarrassing episode.

When I finish I flush the toilet and he pulls be back against him. "I warned you not to drink more than two of those and not only did you have three but you drank one down in less than three seconds." He jokes as he slides his arms under me and picks me up, taking me back to my bed. He turns around once I am lying down. "Please don't go, I'm so sorry..."

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere princess." I watch as he goes in the bathroom and wets down a wash rag before rummaging through my cabinet. He returns with some Advil and I glass of water.

He quickly removes my shoes and pants before getting me a clean shirt, quickly putting me into it. Of course he pauses momentarily as he removes my bra. "Scoot." He demands and I move back toward the wall once I have finished taking my pills and hand him back the water. He removes his own shoes and then slides into bed next to me. He pulls me over to lay on his chest, moving my hair off my neck and laying the cold rag there.

"Sorry, I really did want to." I tell him with all honesty. "I know. Maybe when we haven't drank so much. Now get some rest, we still have to work tomorrow." Instructor Eric is back. My eyes are so heavy. "Yes sir." I feel his chest rumble. "Good night princess. Sleep well."

"I love you Eric." He kisses the top of my head. "I love you too." I can only hope he hasn't changed by tomorrow.

* * *

 **I know, I know, you wanted this to end a different way. Let me know what you think. This turned out more emotional than I originally planned but I still loved the way it ended up coming out. Comments and reviews are always welcome and I can't wait to see how you guys are liking this book so far. Until next time!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello everyone. Sorry about the delay in this chapter. Some crazy stuff going on in my life right now but I am still committed to seeing this book through so have no worries. Hope you guys enjoy!**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

 _(Sunday, January 3rd)_

 _All that I see, is the wickedness around me_  
 _I refuse to believe, the apocalypse inside of me_  
 _I can't even trust myself, I'm burning in my skin_  
 _Standing at the gates of Hell, but nobody will let me in_

 _I'll follow you out of the dark_  
 _I tried my way but I keep falling apart_  
 _I'll follow you, with all of my heart_  
 _I'm tired of my ways 'cause I keep falling and falling apart_

 _I'll stand here again, forsaken in a place_  
 _That feels like I can never win, I'm reaching for a saving grace_  
 _I can't even trust no one, I need to rise above_  
 _I don't think I'm good enough, to feel your perfect love_

 _I'll follow you out of the dark_  
 _I tried my way but I keep falling apart_  
 _I'll follow you, with all of my heart_  
 _I'm tired of my ways 'cause I keep falling and falling apart_  
 _I'm falling and falling apart, I'm falling apart_

 _Your love's a fire, it's alive and I'm burning in it_  
 _I'm in the ashes of mercy, I'm covered in it_  
 _I fall hard and you carry me away_  
 _I fall apart so you can set me free_

"Now what did that bag ever do to you?" I jump back startled by Harrison's voice. Quickly I pick up the remote and turn down the music. Since I had left my Ipod in the cabin I decided to listen to what was on stereo in the gym. It actually had a pretty nice sound system and based on the music that was on it, my guess is that Eric was the last one listening to it.

"Guess I got a little carried away." My hands are a little sore but I was wearing gloves so the damage is limited.

"I came to workout but if you want, we can spar for a while."

Eric was suppose to meet me here. I figured I would just hit the bag until he got here, but he must have gotten held up because looking at the clock, I realize I have been here for almost thirty minutes already. I guess the longer it took him to get here and the more my frustrations grew, the harder I began punching.

"Eric is meeting me here." I tell him wondering what kept Eric this time.

"Last I saw, he was talking to Max and Christian." Well that doesn't surprise me one bit, always working hard and much to my delight, after the other night, he has mostly gone back to the old Eric.

 **Flashback Friday Morning**

"Hmmm. Good morning beautiful."

Eric nuzzles at my neck and I can't help but to giggle. Even going one day without shaving, he has a good amount of stubble and it tickles like crazy. Ignoring my pounding head, I open my eyes to see it is still dark but my watch says five-thirty in the morning.

"I have to get going but here, I brought you some Advil and water." I turn around to see him sitting on the bed waiting to hand me my Advil. I prop myself up on one arm and take it, quickly popping it in my mouth before he hands me a glass of water. I take a quick drink and go to set it back down but he doesn't let me.

"Nope, drink it all." _Okay bossy._ I groan internally and roll my eyes at my displeasure of being treated like a five year old, but drink down the rest of the glass.

"Better." He says as he takes my glass. "Now go back to sleep, I need to go get ready for today."

 _Did he stay with me all night?_ I frown at him because I really don't want him to go. "Do you have to?"

A smile spreads across his face. "Well as much as I would love to stay here in bed with you..." He leans down and begins kissing my neck causing me to let out a low hum.

"Yes, my vote is for you to stay." I say full of lust that is building up at the remarkable feeling his mouth is causing. I pull his hair to show him my appreciation and I am rewarded with a delicious groan.

"And my vote is, don't you two even dare!" Marlene say loudly.

I feel Eric silently chuckle against my neck. "Go back to sleep princess. I understand if you skip P.T. today." He says as he nips at my ear teasing me.

"You keep that up and I will be kicking Marlene out." I tell him as he pulls away with a sly smile.

"Yeah that isn't happening so Eric, get your ass out. You aren't suppose to be in here anyway." She is clearly irritated with me if she is pulling that crap. Since when is she against bending the rules?

Eric gives me one last kiss on the head and grabs his jacket as he walks out the door.

 **End Flashback**

He has pretty much been like that since Friday but we haven't had any alone time since then. Mostly because yesterday was the trip up to The Lookout. It shocked me that they even go in the winter with all the snow but Eric assured me that it isn't that bad. All the equipment they have is more than adequate for the temperatures and that they only go if the weather is expected to be agreeable.

Eric tried to convince Max to let me go since Marlene had to go but that only made Max rethink the hiking party. In the end, he kept Paulo back at camp while Jeff and Harrison went on the hike. Eric was less than pleased as was Paulo. Neither of them had wanted that outcome.

In the end Tris, Uriah, Chris, Paulo and myself stayed at camp while the others went to The Lookout. During the day, Max took me to take one of my CLEP test over in Ellensberg and then he treated me to dinner. Last night we ended up playing poker and drank a little while Max and Tori went out. I have to admit, it was fun to just relax and not worry about anything for the evening. Uriah and Paulo had us girls laughing for hours and Chris even made us some delicious country fried steak for breakfast. Eric was jealous when I told him about our breakfast when he got back from the hike a little while ago.

"Dani?" Harrison pulls me out of my thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"You okay?"

"Yes, I was just...lost in thought. Sorry. What were you saying?" He raises his eyebrow but decides not to question it further.

"I was asking how the book was that you have been reading."

"Oh yeah. It is pretty good. I think it would make and excellent gift. I am almost finished with it."

Eric was also not so happy to find out that I have been disappearing to read in Jeff and Harrison's cabin. I do admit I was surprised he didn't make more of a deal about it. He saw me coming out of their cabin to workout yesterday and when I said I was reading. He just gave me an odd look before looking irritated but then left it at that. No argument, not even any questioning, but it clearly bothered him. I am still wondering if the argument is coming or not.

"...I will talk to you later." I look back up to Harrison. I totally missed whatever he just said to me so I just smile and nod my head before turning around and beginning to punch the bag again.

I watch Harrison pick up the remote I abandoned on the bench and turn the music back up, then going over to the weights. I could use a little sparring but after yesterday, I figure I shouldn't push Eric too far. He dislikes Harrison already and I don't want any reason for Eric and I to fight. What I really would like is to find a way to have some alone time with him.

"Hey."

I am startled once more by a voice but this time it is the one I really wanted to hear the first time. A smile spreads across my face as I turn to see his gorgeous eyes. He seems to be in a okay mood which is always a good sign.

"Sorry it took so long. I got caught up with Max and Christian."

"Any problems?" I ask out of curiosity to why he was speaking to both of them.

"Alex has been causing some problems in the dorms at night, but nothing to major. I wouldn't worry about it. Also Christian wanted me to remind you that he expects to see you after his last appointment." He bites his lip. I really wish I knew what was going on in his head.

"I didn't forget and I have every intention of going." His lip turns up slightly.

"Good. Now I would very much like to spar with you." I can't help but laugh a little at his eagerness but he obviously doesn't think it is funny by the way his eyes pull together.

"What? It's the only time I can openly touch you without being questioned." Even as he says it and it makes sense, he still seems a little off.

"Okay, okay. Let's go!" I turn and head for the ring while he grabs his gloves.

When we are both in the ring he takes off his shirt before putting on his gloves. He glances over at Harrison who is currently bench pressing an impressive amount of weight and I would bet a hundred bucks he only took off his shirt to show off. _Guys!_

I watch him a little curiously as he puts on his gloves. It's been a while since Eric has full-on sparred with me. Usually he just gets the hand pads on and I practice attacking. We have been working on my speed and not so much my technique but it is pretty clear that is not his plan today.

Once we are both ready we begin to circle each other. "You ready for this?" He ask almost as if he is questioning himself.

"Yes." I say just as I take my first swing to his side. He easily side steps and I miss, but he doesn't try to take advantage and strike back. I try again and this time he has to use his elbow block me from hitting his side, but again he doesn't attempt to hit me.

"You know, this usually works both ways." I say with a roll of my eyes.

Giving me a dirty look he attempts a simple punch that I easily avoid by ducking and rolling away. I want this to be actual fight. There is no point if he isn't going to at least try. He makes another ridiculously slow attempt to hit me and all it does is piss me off more so as I duck around this time, I use the opportunity to hit him hard right in his side.

He immediately grabs his side as his eyes pull together as he looks to me. "What? This is suppose to be a sparing session. That means I hit you, you hit me, you know, actually fight!" I tell him and I see the wheels in his head turning. _What is his deal this time?_

Getting back into his fighting stance, we start circling once more. This time as I punch he grabs my wrist and steps behind me pinning me to his chest so he can whisper in my ear. "I would much rather be loving you than fighting you."

I feel the heat rise in my cheeks. "I couldn't agree more." It feels so wonderful to be caged in by his arms, but this isn't the time or place for this. Especially with Harrison just a few feet from us.

I elbow him in the stomach successfully breaking his hold and I move out away from him. "But since we have to behave during working hours and I need to burn off all my pent up energy, let's do this." I smile and he gets that heart stopping smirk on his face.

"Okay." He says transforming into his serious stance and I know now he is in instructor mode. We might actually get to spar now.

* * *

After an intense hour and half of sparing, Eric and I are both soaked in sweat. I wipe my forehead and my neck with my towel. I feel Eric's fingers run down my shoulder and I let out a quiet moan as I feel him behind me even though he isn't touching me other than with his hand. Harrison left a little while ago and it is just us in the gym now.

"I really wish I could join you for a shower. You have no idea how hot you look all sweaty and flush from our workout." I look back smiling at him.

"As much as I would truly enjoy that, I have to hurry and get to my appointment with Christian." He groans. I really wish I could spend some alone time with him. He walks over to the bench, dropping his gloves and then picking up a bottle of water. _Fuck!_ My hormones are going crazy right now. Watching a sweaty, shirtless Eric chugging down water is a breathtaking sight. He catches me staring and raises an eyebrow at me.

"Hey you are the one that ditching me for another man." He jokes with a smirk.

"Whatever, you know it ain't like that." He walks back over to me, lifting my chin up to make my eyes meet his own.

"I know. Go and hurry before your late." His tone is way too mild to be authoritative but it seems that even when he says it sweetly it sounds like command.

"Is that an order?"

"Hmm. Is that what it takes for you to do what I want?"

"Huh, no!" _Absolutely not!_

"Okay. In that case was a request." He leans down and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. As he pulls away, I grab the back of his neck and pull him back down to me, giving him a much slower and sensual kiss that he gratefully returns.

He pulls back again and I let him. Looking down at his watch, his face gets very serious. "Now get going. You only have fourteen minutes to take a shower and get there."

I chuckle because that time, there was no mistaking that it was an order. "Okay, since you asked oh so nicely." I say with dripping sarcasm. Giving him a smile I turn and walk away and his smacks my ass just hard enough to sting a little.

"Hey!"

"What? I can't help that you have a great ass." I shake my head and head out to go take my shower. I actually love it when he is playful. It doesn't happen very often and when it does, it always gets my heart going.

I almost run back to my cabin. It's freezing outside. It hasn't snowed lately but there is still plenty of snow on the ground and the temperature is only in the mid-thirties today. My shower is quick and without any time to spare, I settle for throwing my hair up in a messy bun while it's still wet. Without cleaning up my mess, I leave the cabin and hurry over to the classrooms.

Paulo tries to talk me but I just hurry past him letting him know that I am late for something and I promise to catch up with him later. I make it to the classroom only a few minutes late.

"Good afternoon!" Christian greets me as I enter the classroom. He comes over to me and I go to shake his hand but instead he engulfs me in a huge causing me to freeze. The heaviness begins to spread across my chest and he quickly moves back giving me a curious look.

"And what is that all about?" I question.

"It was just an experiment of sorts. Come sit and lets talk." We go over and sit on the couch. "So how have you been doing Dani?"

"I'm okay, no better, no worse." His eyes pull together.

"I would beg to differ." I would really like to know what is going on now. "My little experiment just now, when I hugged you, you immediately froze and stopped breathing. Now, while I realize that happens to you with most people, we had been to a point where your reaction to my touch wasn't quite so...intense."

"Okay, so what does it matter?" _Shoot!_ I really should have tried not to react so harshly. I really hope he doesn't take it too personally.

"With what you have been through, and please keep in mind, this is expected and completely understandable, you have regressed." I can't deny it because it is true. I am much more jumpy and I have to work even harder not to react to people touching me including those closest to me.

"But it isn't as bad as it was. That has to count for something."

"Of course it does. It just means we need to step back a little and maybe start working on some things we thought you were past." I thought flies into my head.

"How did you know?" I think I already know the answer but it doesn't add up.

He looks out the window for just a moment. "Eric told me." _Since when does Eric just talk with Christian?_ "Max, Eric and I sat down to talk for a little while today." I give him a dirty look, not liking that they are all talking about me.

"Max was concerned about you and also about Eric. It seems he hasn't quite been himself since what happened to you." _Did you really expect him to be?_

"And?" I want him to continue. I don't trust myself to say anything else with all the emotions that are running through my head right now, but I would really like some insight to what is going on with Eric.

"Dani, you have to understand that with Eric, things can be difficult. Eric has never been good with his own emotions. I don't know his whole story but it's clear to me he has had a rough childhood himself. I suppose that is also obvious in the fact that he once was a cadet here, but Max has let me in on a few small details I was previously oblivious to."

I bet Eric was pissed about that. Very few people know much about him. He likes his personal life to stay pretty private. "Does Eric know?"

"Max told him today. The point here is that you both are going through a difficult time. Two people that both happen to have that same stubborn and headstrong mentality."

"He's going through a difficult time. This shit happened to me, not him." I say a little irritated but I immediately feel bad. At the same time I feel it is true.

"That is true, but please hear me out. First, you two both hold an extremely strong bond to each other. Please don't take this wrong, but you are the first woman he has ever desired to be exclusive with, in addition to having what he calls and unexplained pull to you. For someone who is not typically the emotionally loving type, these emotions are difficult for him to grasp. This has given way to a horrible fear to awaken in him?" _Fear?_

"I don't think I have ever seen fear in Eric. Ever!" Eric is always so strong, emotional maybe on a few short occasions but not afraid.

"Do you really believe that? Think about it hard." _Have I ever seen him afraid?_ My thoughts flint around the few short months we have been together. "You have, haven't you." He raises an eyebrow at me as my mind focuses.

"Now think even harder, what do those times each have in common." I do as he says.

There was the first time I was stabbed. It was the first time he told me he loved me. It was the same look I saw when he found me at the pier after I was attacked and also when he found me at the maintenance shack. That is the connection.

"It's me." I whisper more to myself.

"Now don't put this into the wrong context but yes, I believe you are right, but most likely not in the way your are thinking right now."

"His fear is because of me. He thinks I make him weak and that is something he also fears, being weak." Thinking over our conversation, that is one thing I think he really does fears. With his past being what it was, he never wants to feel weak or inferior again.

"Okay, I will give you credit on that because I believe you are partially right. His fear isn't really because of you, it is for you. He is afraid of losing you, just as you fear losing him, but it isn't his love for you that he feels is making him weak."

I stop playing with my fingers and look up to Christian. "What do you mean?"

"He feels like he can't protect you. Just in the short time you have known him, several things have happened to you and he blames himself for not being strong enough to protect you. You put that together with a man's natural instinct to protect and it has caused him to feel weak, useless even."

"He is not useless. He has helped me in so many ways. I have felt more alive in the last few months than I have in almost ten years. Just having him around the last few months is the only thing that has kept me sane enough to deal with what has happened."

"I believe that, but it is taking some convincing to get him believe that, which is why Max and I sat down with him." He did seem a little different when he met me at the gym.

"What exactly did you say to him?"

"I really don't think that's important. What is important is, did he listen. Have you seen him in the last few hours?"

"Yes."

"And what did you observe?" I guess he was a little different.

"He seemed, I don't know. More himself I guess. We spared for a while earlier, something he hasn't done with me for a while, but he went pretty easy on me."

"So he was touching you?" _Where is this going?_

"Yes. He has always been able to touch me, but...wait. That's part of the problem isn't it?" My mind is reeling at my sudden clarity.

"When he found me and I flinched away from him. I wouldn't let him touch me. Does he think I am afraid of him? Of his touch?" My hands are beginning to shake. _Is this my fault too? Did I make him feel this way?_

"He doesn't think you are afraid of him. He does believe that the trauma you have suffered has caused you to become sensitive to his touch and that is what has him so worried. His feelings for you have not changed but he suddenly is not sure of how to act around you. He wants things to go back to normal but he is worried about doing something that will trigger your fear because it is pretty clear that his one true fear is losing you."

My chest feels heavy. I can't imagine being without him. I realize that my biggest fear is losing him and if I lose him, it is going to be my own fault. "Hey Dani, breath." He gets up and kneels in front of me, taking my face in his hands so I am forced to look at him.

"Breath." He takes deep breaths in and I mimic him, then breath out slowly, matching his.

"That isn't going to happen. Like I said earlier, you two are the most stubborn and head strong people. If anyone can get through this, it is you two." I nod my head as I try to calm my self down.

He is right, he has to be. "I can't lose Eric."

"Your not going to lose him. You just need to understand him. Step into his shoes and see things from his point of view, which is by the way, the same thing I have recommended for him. You two need trust each other and work through this. Talk and not only when your drunk and pissed off."

"He seriously told you about that?"

"Actually Jeff did. Don't be mad but he didn't leave you two completely alone after Eric found you." _Christ! What the hell is this a damn intervention? First Max and then Jeff._ "He hid around the corner and listened to you to make sure you were okay. And by the way I am disappointed that you didn't make me more aware of the situation."

I push Christian back as I stand up. "Well that is just great. I think I've had just about enough for now."

"Wait Dani, don't be upset. They are just looking out for you."

"Whatever. As far as I'm concerned, everyone needs to just back the fuck off." I quickly move to leave. I am so upset right now. I can't believe that everyone feels the need to be all in my business.

"Just think about what I said!" He shouts at me as I exit the room. I give him a half wave without looking back. I really shouldn't be mad but I am. Eric did seem a little different after they talked with him, but I don't like people talking about me behind my back.

I begin walking around the track. It's cold but right now I need this. I'm really starting to hate all this snow. If it was warmer, I could run off all this irritation and aggression, but right now I just have to settle for walking really fast around this damn frozen pathway and try not to slip on the melting snow in the process.

Damn I need my Ipod right now. "What's wrong?" I almost slip and fall on my ass as I quickly turn around, startled by that fact that some one is so close to me. I didn't even realize someone was behind me.

"What the fuck Eric?" I heart is going about fifty miles an hour.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't scare me, you just startled me." He huffs.

"Kind of the same thing isn't it?" I really wish he wouldn't raise his eyebrow at me like that.

"No. It's not." _Not really._ Besides, he needs to understand I'm not afraid of him.

"Anyway. So what's the matter?" He obviously doesn't believe it.

I shake my head. "Nothing."

He tilts his head to the side looking at me with total doubt. When I don't change my stance on the subject he raises both his eyebrows and pursing his lips in frustration.

"Fine, a little pissed at everyone right now."

"Does that include me." Maybe a little bit, but I am not opening that can of worms right now.

"No, but Max and Jeff are definitely on the top of that list, along with Christian."

"Why do I get the feeling we are both irritated at the same thing." He says with a heavy sigh. I turn and start walking but this time, I know he is right behind me.

"Because we are. So you didn't appreciate everyone getting into our business either?"

"Do I ever like anyone in my business?" He says angrily grabbing the back of his neck, looking at the ground, but then glances back up at me. "Aside from you of course." Well I guess at least there is that.

"What did you and Christian talk about?" He ask looking away.

I am sure he knows already and I have questions of my own. "Why did you spare with me today?"

The look on his face tells me that isn't what he was expecting. "I just needed to...I wanted...I don't know."

I stop and turn to him. He is not telling the truth. "Your lying. Just tell me."

He bites his lip. "I needed to see your reaction to my touch." He runs his fingers lightly down my arm as he says it. I don't flinch at his touch but I quickly look around making sure no one is watching us.

"Why?" Christian already told me but I need to hear it from him. Christian did say we need to talk so I see no better time than now.

He thinks for a moment before answering. "In the last few months, I feel like I have become sort of a sanctuary for you. Someone you come to when you just want to be held, when you are upset, and when you are in my arms I thought you felt...safe."

"I do feel that way Eric." I tried to hold my tongue but he has to know I do feel that way.

He looks around us. "Can we go inside and talk?"

We are almost to my cabin and Marlene is over at the infirmary. We walk the short distance to my cabin and go inside. I immediately go over and grab the bottle of whiskey that is sitting on the mini fridge.

"What are you doing?" He scolds me as he walks up next to me.

"Something tells me this will be easier if I am buzzed." I say honestly.

"I'm sure it would be but I prefer we stay completely clear minded this time." He takes the bottle and cap out of my hands, setting it back down.

"Fine!" I say frustrated as I go sit on the bed. There he goes making me feel like a damn errant child again. He follows sitting next to me, starring down at the ground.

"Then why?" He ask quietly after a moment.

"Why what?" There are so many why's right now.

"Why wouldn't you let me that day? Was it because I failed you or was it because you were afraid of me? Why wouldn't you let me make you feel safe?"

"It's not what you think Eric."

"Then what the hell is it because I can't for the life of me figure it out. I have gone over it over and over in my head and it is driving me nuts." So that is what has been bothering him.

"Do you think I was afraid of you?"

"Many thoughts went through my head in those moments, but mainly yes, or at the very least, you no longer felt safe in my arms."

"It wasn't that Eric. I wasn't afraid of you in the aspect of fear, I was afraid you would no longer wanted me. I felt ashamed and with everything else I had just been through, I was most afraid that you would reject me when you found out the truth. So I pushed you away before you could push me away."

He moves down to kneel in front of me, grabbing my hands between both of his own as I continue.

"I pushed you away thinking I could handle it and it would be better that way, but I realized after you went to jail that I couldn't do it. I couldn't stay away from you. I still wanted you, I still needed you and then you began keeping me away and it was like all my thoughts were coming true. I did want to be in your embrace because that is the only place I feel safe."

He closes his eyes and breathes in deeply. I slide down, straddling his legs and taking his face in my hands. His eyes open looking deep within me. I lightly kiss his lips, holding him to me. "You are my sanctuary." I whisper on his lips and his arms wrap around me, pulling me tight to him as he lays his head on my chest. My arms wrap around him holding him to me.

"I still want you princess. I never stopped wanting you." He begins kissing me across my neck and the feeling is incredible. His lips finally find mine as his words pass into actions. He lifts me as he stands and sets me on the bed, not breaking our kiss.

It only takes a second for him to unzip my jacket and I help him to remove it as I begin taking his off as well. The warmth of his body radiates off him helping to keep me warm as he removes my shirt. Feeling the cold at my back and the heat at my front, sends shivers across my body.

"You okay?" He whispers.

"Yes, please just don't stop." I tell him yearning to feel much more of him.

He bites that sexy lip again giving me a half smile. "I am all yours."

I moan as his lips attach to mine once more. All my worries, frustrations, fears begin to fall away. His hands massage my breast as his kiss turns more insistent. Pulling down my bra his lips move down and begin to tease each of my nipples. The hurt, pain, anger disappear until it is just us the way we were. Loving, enjoying each other as we use to.

His lips move further down until he reaches my pants. Giving me a lustful smirk, he undoes my pant button with his teeth causing a throbbing between my legs. I love that feeling almost as much as I love him.

Grabbing the top of my pants he slowly peels them down, not taking his eyes of me. I kick off my boots before he can reach my ankles and he doesn't pause removing them the rest of the way.

He stops for a moment as he begins to crawl back over me, looking at me from head to toe, running his and along the length of my side. He reaches one hand around, unclipping my bra and slowly removing it, allowing it to drag across my front. "You have always been the most amazing woman I have ever known and I would rather die than lose you. You are mine!"

His lips find mine once more and I am so overwhelmed by his words. So demanding, so much yearning that it leaves no room for question. His words fade as they are replaced by his touch. His fingers slide into my panties, massaging circles over my clit. The throbbing intensifies as a low growl escapes his mouth which is immediately muffled as his lips capture my breast.

He moves back slightly as he peels my underwear down. Sucking his lip in with his teeth, he leans down and kisses me between my legs. I hold my breath at the intense feeling it sends through me.

"You okay." His ask quietly as he pauses.

"Yes." I whisper, praying he doesn't stop.

"Good." His lips are on me once more. I let out another moan as he begins using his tongue. "Do you miss that?" He doesn't give me time to answer as I feel his fingers enter me. I moan louder this time, not able to control myself. "That's right baby, let me hear you."

His tongue picks up speed as does his fingers and I moan louder, so overwhelmed with feeling right now I want to scream. It doesn't take long for me to to reach the edge and he must sense it because he begins humming, pushing me over the edge into a mind blowing orgasm.

As I come down, a smiling Eric kisses his way back up my body resting to the side of me. "Yes, I definitely missed that." I tell him finally being able to answer him.

"And did you miss anything else?" He ask rubbing his naked self on me, making it clear he already ready. Somewhere along the line he discarded his boxers.

"Most definitely."

Suddenly he moves over me and kisses my nose. I freeze for the slightest of seconds when I feel his weight come down on me. I don't mean to and I pray he doesn't notice, but the look on his face gives it away.

I immediately grab his face trying to keep his attention. I lean up to kiss him but he barely moves. His body has gone stiff. I don't want this to end. I want him, I just could help my reaction. I can see the hurt in his face as I pull back. The wheels are turning in his head and I can tell I am losing him.

"Please don't, I want you, I want this. Please don't stop." I beg. I try pulling him down to me but he is an unwavering brick wall. "Please baby. Don't pull away. I need you Eric, I need you now!" Tears pool in my eyes as my heart constricts in my chest.

His eyes suddenly change and my Eric is back. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." I grab his face again, placing a hard passionate kiss on his lips. It only takes him a minute to match my feverish lips.

Grabbing my waist, he slowly pulls me over the top of him until I am straddling him. A position we are not in very often. I have learned that he loves control in all things, including in bed. This is him trying to make me comfortable and I love him for it.

I kiss him harder. His hands begin moving over me again and I feel both of us become more relaxed as we mold to each other. The growing bulge hardens beneath me and it seems our moment of crisis has passed. I rub myself along his length enjoying the feeling of him against me which is heightened when he moans into my mouth.

Grabbing my hips, he lifts me slightly allowing him room to enter me. He does it at a slow agonizing pace letting me feel him inch by inch. Sitting up, I take deep breaths in and out enjoying every part of him as he continues his control of me, moving me back and forth. His eyes stay trained on me, I think watching to make sure I am okay, but right now I am more than okay.

I lean back down and kiss him again, letting him keep control of our pace. As he continues to make love to me, I get more and more lost in him. Once again the outside world disappears and it is only us. No problems, no emotions other than pure love. Me and the man I love to no end.

As I come undone once more, he follows and I collapse in a heap on his chest. Nothing in this world matters more to me than him. He has seen me through the worst possible heartache and for the smallest moments in time, help me feel like there is the slightest bit of hope. I close my eyes and drift asleep with only him on my mind.

 _I fall apart so you can set me free..._

* * *

 **Hope you all liked it. I rather liked writing it. Please all comments and reviews welcome so please let me know what you thing. Again, sorry about the delay. I don't like going that long in between chapters but sometime we don't always have control over our live. I will work hard to not let it happen again. Until next time!**

(Music Credit: Falling Apart - Papa Roach)


	5. Chapter 5

_*****Updated*** Sorry guys, forgot to run spell check. Here is an updated version.**_

 **So sorry for the wait. I am really sorry but I am not going to bore you with excuses. Here is a new chapter for you. I hope you enjoy it.**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

 _(Saturday, January 9th)_

There is something extremely gratifying about being able to make it through P.T. when Eric is leading it. While it gets easier after a while, Eric's constant changing of the workout never lets your muscle get board and you always finish feeling the burn. I never really minded the workouts, even as a cadet. Other than the cold chill in the mornings it always made me feel better during the day. It has been a definite plus that workouts have been inside the gym most of the snowy days the last few weeks.

I pick up a bottle of water out of the mini fridge against the wall of the gym while all the cadets leave to go back to their cabins. We have made it half way through the winter session and it seems like most things are going to finally calm down. There were hardly any problems this week with the cadets and I am starting to see subtle changes in many of them.

Thinking that I have had something to do with that gives me hope that I can make a difference. I am not stupid enough to think this will fix them all but if we can manage to affect just a few of them, then it was worth it. _It helped me._

I have wondered many times in the past why Eric enjoyed this job so much. He is a natural at being a dick so this job fits him well, but it isn't as if he show that he really cares about what happens to these kids. Knowing him better now combined with my own recent feelings, I think he enjoys the gratification of knowing he helped them. Knowing that their lives may be better because of him. Of course I would never say that to him because he would most likely deny it

I think being excited about the day is helping my mood too. I can't believe Max is letting Eric and I leave for the majority of the day. Not that we are getting completely out of work. We still have to run errands and I have two more CLEP test today but we get to spend the day together, just us and that is awesome.

With my school classes just starting back up this last week, I don't have much to do this weekend and after today's CLEP test, I only have three left. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel has given me my so called second wind. If I can just get through this last little push of school and tests, I am home free.

"Meet you out front in thirty?" I down the rest of my water as I turn around to my man who has barely broken a sweat.

"Yeah okay." I say as I walk pass him giving him a wink. I see is lip pull slightly at the edge. _Just the reaction I was hoping for._

I don't bother to question why we're not staying for breakfast. I am sure he has a plan, he always does. I just head back to my cabin to take a shower.

"Good luck today." Jeff says as he comes up from behind me once I get outside.

"Thanks! Sorry you have to take over Eric's classes today."

"It's okay. I don't mind. Beside, I need the the practice if I am going to take over for Four or Eric next session."

"How crazy is that? Next session, I will be taking Tris spot and you are taking one of the guy's spot. It is definitely going to be interesting and I am sure you guys will drive Eric nuts!"

He raises his eyebrow at me. "Do you know something I don't?"

I stare at him confused for a second and then it clicks. "No, no of course not. Max hasn't said anything about who is taking Tori's position, but it isn't like Four is even fighting hard for it. Getting that job would mean so much to Eric and I am pretty sure Max knows it." I am suddenly not so sure of my thought process. "Do you think Max would choose Four over Eric?"

"No not really. Other than Four being a little better tempered, I think Eric would be better suited." I look at him a little surprised. "What, I just think Eric is a better leader. While Four is better tempered, he is more quiet and laid back. I already heard Max say that he wants who ever gets it to be more involved in the day to day things with the cadets."

I am surprised that he sees Eric so highly but his reasoning makes sense. "Well hey, I got to hurry and take a shower before we leave. I will see you later."

"Alright." He gives me a little nod and a smile as we part ways.

* * *

"Hey beautiful." Eric says as he opens my door. I look down at my normal dauntless clothing and give him a questioning look. He rolls his eyes at me and ushers me to get in as he shakes his head. He shuts my door and walks around, getting in on the driver side.

He grabs my chin and gives me a chastising kiss. "You always look beautiful to me so stop giving me those looks." He stares into my eyes for a few more seconds before letting go to start up the car and focus his eyes on the road.

"So what is on the agenda for today?" Max didn't bother to divulge this information to me but I am sure Eric is well aware of it.

"We have to pick up a few things for Chris, Marlene and some office supplies that we are running low on, but first I would like to have a good breakfast and later this evening I have a surprise for you."

I look at him. "A surprise?" He sure doesn't seem happy or excited. _Aren't those normal reactions when you are surprising someone?_ He looks to me and notices me staring as he still has not answered me.

"Yes, it is a surprise and it will remain a surprise so don't bother asking." _Geez, what a grump._

"Fine grouchy." He grabs my hand and brings it to his lips where a smile is tugging at his lips.

"Let's not fight today." He kisses my hand and then lowers it, holding it in his lap. "Beside, you need to focus on your test later."

"Oh yeah, lets get me to focus by making my mind run rampant. Good call slick." His lips turn into a smirk. "You just loving doing that crap to me don't you?"

He chuckles this time. "I'm sure I have no idea what you are talking about." He tries to play all innocent.

Two can play at this game. I release my hand that is in his lap from his and I start rubbing the top of his thigh. He pauses for the slightest of moments but pretends it doesn't affect him so I move my hand toward the inside of his thigh as I increase the pressure. Slowly, I work my hand further and further up his thigh but his face stays perfectly composed.

Just as I am about to touch his manliness, I stop and drag a single nail along the entire inside width of his thigh as close as I can get without touching it. I see his jaw clinch and feel the twitch in his pants. I press my lips together tightly to keep from laughing. I go to begin again and he grabs my hand.

"Knock it off." He growls.

"Frustrating isn't it." He raises an eyebrow at me and then looks me up and down.

"You know, two can play this game." On second thought, maybe that wasn't such a good idea. Staring down at my leg, his face gets serious and intense. He sucks his lower lip in and I am already squirming in my seat. His eye travel up my torso to my face slowly, stopping when his eyes are on mine and he bites his lip as it slides slowly out of his mouth.

I feel like I am going to explode and he didn't even have to touch me. I can't sit still. I cross my legs tight to relieve the ache that is developing. All the sudden he starts laughing as his eyes go back to the road.

I can't believe he can do that to me just by looking at me, this is ridiculous. I fold my arms across my chest knowing he has won this round. _And how the hell did he just do that without crashing the damn car?_ Somehow we have already made it into town and he parks the car at the Cottage Cafe.

It is pretty quiet for a weekend morning as we walk in. We head toward the back to the booth that has become our normal seat. There are some teenage kids looking a little ragged at several of the tables. At this early hours, my best guess is they are eating and drowning their hangovers with coffee before they have to go home to face their parents. Even in the winter, these kids seem to party every weekend.

"Good morning Eric. The usual?" I look up to the annoying voice that immediately irritates me. I swear she never changes. She is here almost every time Eric and I come in and it's always like I'm completely invisible.

I feel Eric's arm rest across my shoulders and he kisses my temple. "You pick this morning babe. What sounds good?" I pick up on his game. He is doing it to keep me from exploding.

I smile up at her, handing her back the menus she had just set down. I already know Eric's favorite and he obviously trust that I will order it for him. "Hi Kate, we will both have the country fried steak and coffee. Oh and also bring Eric a large orange juice. You know he needs to stay big and strong." My voice is dripping with sarcasm and I feel Eric chuckle silently beside me.

She bites the inside of her cheek and writes it down in her notebook. "Okay. Anything else?"

She looks to Eric as if I would have forgot anything, but Eric is smooth and doesn't miss a beat. "Nope. She knows what I like." He says simply and she immediately turns on her heels and walks off.

"Crap. Is my whole life going to be like this?" I say mostly to myself.

"What do you mean?" _Seriously._

"I mean, girls always being rude to me because they are crushing on you."

"Aww, don't be jealous babe. My eyes are only for you." He leans down and kisses my neck to reiterate his point.

"I know. Sorry, I guess I am just a little on edge today."

"How come?" He ask seeming genuinely curious.

I not really sure myself. Despite my good mood today, I just have felt a little pent up lately. Maybe being out in the woods so far from civilization is finally getting to me.

"Is there something I can do to help?" He ask nibbling on my ear when I don't answer.

I let out a quite moan moving my head to the side, giving him better access. "That always helps."

I jump as our coffees are carelessly dropped down in front of us. Kate doesn't even spare a second glace to make sure she didn't spill, she has already headed off back behind the counter.

"Apparently someone else is grumpy too." He says with a chuckle. I have to admit, it is pretty funny.

"Hey Dani, Eric." I look up to see Eddie and Clara standing there. "Mind if we join you?" Clara says and I shrug my shoulders, not minding some company outside of the camp staff. I only know a few people.

They sit down and Kate comes back over to take their orders, not bothering with the menus. I guess most people already know what is on it. Eric remains oddly quiet, not greeting either one of them and as I put my hand on his leg, I feel that he has become very stiff. There seems to be tension between Eric and Eddie and something tells me I'm about to find out why.

"How are you doing Dani?" Eddie ask.

"How do you think?" Eric barks. _Yep, definitely tension._

After a second I understand that Eddie obviously knows what happened to me. Great, a small town like this, everyone probably knows by now. I really do just want to get past that.

"Yeah, sorry. I just wanted to say that I had no idea. Sean _was_ my good friend but I had no idea he would ever do something like that. I haven't talked to him since I found out. I mean he has always been a little crazy but..." He shakes his head. "Anyway, I just wanted you to know I have no intention of ever talking to him again and I hope we can still be friends."

It didn't really occur to me before now that Sean and Eddie were pretty close friends. Both times I had met them, they were together. I had also grown really fond of Eddie when we hung out at the party. He is very nice and sweet, nothing like...

"It's fine Eddie, you didn't know and yes we are still friends." I say to stop my thoughts. Eric huffs beside me.

"Eric dude, I am sorry. I would have never stuck up for him in the bar that night if I knew the real story. In fact," He glances at me and then to Clara. "I probably would have help you beat him to death if I knew why you were so mad."

"Yeah well I didn't need help. How is your jaw by the way?" He says smugly.

"It is better these days, but seriously dude, I'm sorry. We cool?"

I look to Eric expectantly. _Come on, if I can forgive him then you can too._ Eric takes in a deep breath and the blows it out again in dramatic style. "Yeah." He says "I suppose."

"Good because the last place I want to be is on your bad side." Eddie says rubbing his jaw and I feel Eric relax. Our food comes and we all settle into comfortable conversation.

* * *

"Hey babe." I say getting into the car and leaning over to give him a kiss.

We had run a few errands together this morning before he dropped me off for my my test. Because I took two ninety minute test with an ninety minute break between the two, he should have had plenty of time to finish getting supplies. Looking behind me in the back seat, it looks like he accomplished his tasks. _Of course he did._

"Hi." He says, mingling our fingers as he takes my hand. "How did your test go?"

I smile proud of myself. "I did awesome. I got a ninety-one percent on one and the initial grade for the other was a ninety-three percent, but I won't get the final grade until they grade the essay section, but I feel good about it." Eric gets a look of pride on his face. "So how was your afternoon? Did you finish everything?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Of course I did."

"Yes, of course you did." I say mimicking him. "So do I get to know what the surprise is now?" I ask excitedly.

"Nope." _What?_

"Come on, you told me after I finish my test." I whine.

"No. What I had said was it was a surprise and I didn't want it to distract you from you test. I never said I would tell you after. You will just have to wait to find out."

I cross my arms over my chest. "Ugg, your so frustrating!"

"I know." _Yeah keep it up buddy._

He pulls out of the testing center but he doesn't head toward the freeway. So we must be going somewhere here in town. I sit waiting patiently as possible and my irritation starts to wane as my excitement grows. As much as I hate surprises, I secretly love them too. Especially when they are from Eric. He never disappoints.

I haven't forgot his reaction to telling me this morning either which is making me even more curious. Thinking about it actually did distract me for a while today. It was like he was on edge about this, whatever it is. We pull into a parking lot and I look at the sign on the building.

"Wing Central's Roadhouse Grill. My surprise is dinner. I love getting to eat out with you babe but you could have just said that." I actually feel a little disappointed now.

"Just come on." He is beginning to get a little tense and I begin to get the feeling this isn't going to be a normal dinner.

He takes my hand as we meet around the car and we go inside where we are greeted by a woman behind a counter. "I have a reservation." Eric tells her and gives her his name.

"Yes sir. Your table is ready, right this way." She takes off in front of us and we follow.

"Wow, you even made reservation." That is not normally something we have to do, but I guess there really isn't anything abnormal about that.

"It's the weekend and we are coming during the dinner rush. I wanted to make sure we get a good table." We reach our table and the waitress explains tonight's special and takes our drink orders as we sit down in our booth on opposite sides of the table.

I open the menu and start looking, but Eric doesn't bother. When the waitress brings out our drinks she also sets three sets of silverware on the table. I look to Eric confused, but he doesn't bother to look at me. He is just staring out the window seemingly deep in thought.

"Are you going to tell me who is joining us?"

He finally looks toward me without actually looking me in my face. "You'll see."

Now my stomach is all in knots. _Who could be joining us that would be making him act so strange?_ He looks at his watch and bites the inside of his lip. I wonder if he is worried who ever it is, isn't going to show up. We have only been here a few minutes but Eric hates being late and therefore hates when others are late.

"Do you know what you want?" He ask me looking at the abandon menu in front of me. My appetite is now gone and I just want to know what is going on.

"I'll just have a salad. I'm not really hungry." He rolls his eyes at me.

"Did you guys want to order or did you want to wait for the rest of your party?" The waitress ask. _Party? Is there more than one person?_

"No." Eric says quickly. "We will wait, but until then can we get two Corona's with lime and an order of mozzarella sticks."

"Sure thing." She says before walking away.

"We're drinking?" I look at him cautiously. This is not his normal style, not when we aren't close to home and driving the camp's SUV.

"Just one. I thought it would go well with our appetizer." I look away rolling my eyes. _Yeah, keep telling yourself that because I don't believe it for one second._ He resumes staring out the window and this time I join him.

"Long time no see!" We hear a minute later. Eric and I both look up to see a gentlemen with darker hair. He seems older than Eric but still fairly young. I immediately recognize a similarity between him and Eric; the dark hair and those eyes. I thought I would never see those gorgeous eyes on another human being.

"About time." Eric rises from the table across from me quickly and shakes the man's hand and saying hello.

"You sure haven't changed much. How long has it been?"

He grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet before I can react as I am frozen in confusion. "It's been almost six years. Good to see you. This is my girlfriend Dani. Dani, this is my Uncle Davy." Eric says with a small smile on his face.

"Wow, Eric." His uncle says with a quick glance to Eric before looking me up and down. "You are absolutely gorgeous." He says to me making me blush.

Without warning he pulls me into a hug and I freeze. Eric's hand is immediately on my back and reach back with one hand, grabbing his hand tightly using it as an anchor to my emotions. I just hold my breath waiting for his uncle to let go which he does fairly quickly.

"Eric has told me a lot about you. I'm glad we're getting to finally meet."

I look to Eric as we sit back down, Eric sitting next to me this time. "You talk about me?"

"Ignore him, he is exaggerating. I have only talked to him twice since I met you and one of those times was the five minute conversation we had yesterday. He was in the area and wanted to see me. Since he is the only family I have left, I figured you would like to meet him as well."

"Eric, your dad is still alive. He's a selfish, greedy, arrogant dick, but he is still alive."

"Not to me." Eric says coldly.

"Fine. I didn't come here to argue. If I wanted that, I would have went to see him. So how have you been?"

Eric takes a deep calming breath and then looks at me."Things are getting better everyday. How about you? Enjoying the house? I miss fishing up there during the summer."

"Yes. It is rather peaceful. A little bigger than is needed being it is just me but you won't hear me complain. Maybe one day I can find me a beautiful someone to share it with." He looks down at his hands.

"I miss fishing with him too. Sorry I didn't come to his funeral. I knew it was better for me to stay away. It wouldn't have ended well." He laughs a little. "But from what I heard, instead it didn't end well for you. Man, the only part I regret is not getting to see his face when he found out he didn't get anything. Greedy bastard. And Dani, standing up to the wicked witch of the west and the big bad wolf..."

"Where did you hear that?" Eric interrupts.

"Your brother called me the next day. He had me rolling on the ground laughing." He is smiling from ear to ear.

"I have to say, it was priceless." Eric agrees with a chuckle.

Thankfully the mood has lightened and they both begin to relax. The waitress comes to take our order. Eric doesn't let me order my salad. Instead he orders me the crab cake dinner and I ignore his unnerving need to control things. The guys start discussing some renovations Davy has done to the house on the lake and Eric tells him about the prospect of him being promoted.

Eric goes on to tell his Uncle about all I have accomplished and I just sit quietly watching them talk. I don't mind sitting back and not being the center of attention. It's also nice to see Eric relaxed and enjoy himself. From what he had told me, he never really got to know his uncle.

"You know Eric, you remind me of Dad when you talk about Dani. It's the same way he use to talk about your Grandma." Eric smiles at me, but then something shifts in his eyes.

"So Uncle Davy. I know you didn't just come here to have dinner. So what's going on?" This is news to me. It seemed like that is exactly what this was.

"What? I can't just stop by to visit my nephew?"

"It's been six years. I find it too much of a coincidence that you just happen to be in town and was thinking of me."

His uncle huffs and smirks at Eric. "No matter what your Dad says, you are extremely intelligent and in saying that, I will confess this trip wasn't entirely just to have dinner. However, I think I would enjoy to do this a little more often in the future." He says smiling at me.

"So what's going on?" Relaxed Eric has disappeared.

"I spoke with Grandpa Scott last week. He is accepting some prestigious lifetime achievement award in the business sector. He has been given several tickets for his family but you and I both know the extent of family for him is very limited. You know your father would never go, your brother wouldn't go knowing it would upset your father, which only leaves us. He didn't know how to get in contact with you so he asked if I would get a hold of you and ask you to come. You and Dani both."

"That could have easily been done when you called me." He is still suspicious and he must be rubbing off on me because so am I.

"True, but after I heard about your spitfire girl here, I wanted to get the chance to meet her. I also thought a thank you in person was warranted."

"For what?"

"Your brother told me you paid for the funeral out of your inheritance. Dad would have been proud of you. You know he always hated how your my brother treated you and paying for that, it made you the better man."

"Because of that I would like to offer to pay your expenses for the two of you to fly out to Chicago with me for the weekend to show our support for good ol' Grandpa Scott."

"You really don't have to do that Uncle." Eric says quickly as he shakes off the shock of what he heard.

"Please Eric, let me do this one thing. I never really got a chance to be an uncle to you. Besides I hear Dani is from Chicago. Maybe she can show us around." Eric thinks for a long moment.

"Fine. When is it?" I am surprise he is giving in so easily, but I am sure he has his reasoning.

Davy and Eric talk out the details. It is extremely short notice. We would have to go this coming Friday and that is only if we can get Max's approval to leave camp for a few days. I am not sure but Eric says he doesn't think it will be a problem as long as we came back by Sunday Evening.

Listening to them discuss it gives me butterflies. _Chicago!_ I will get to see my family. Just thinking about them has made me realize how much I miss them. I haven't talked to my dad since I was sent here and I only talk to my mom and brother ever once in a while. By the time we leave, I am really excited!

* * *

"He said yes, really?" I ask Eric as we finish stocking and entering the data into inventory reports. He went and talked to Max as soon as we got back while several of us unloaded all the stuff we bought today from the trunk.

"Yes, we leave early Friday and we will get back late Sunday." This actually makes me a little nervous. I am not keen on the idea of flying and I really wish we could spend more then just a few days there, but I am extremely grateful to be going.

Eric's uncle already made rental car and hotel arrangements. We are staying in some really nice hotel where the award ceremony will be taking place. I looked it up as we were driving back and it isn't too far from my parents apartment.

I look at Eric who has become quiet. He is deep in thought, concentrating way too hard on straightening the bottles in the cabinet. "What's wrong?" I abandon my inventory count and go over behind him, wrapping my arms around him and lay my head on his back.

"Nothing."

"Come on Eric, I know you. Please tell me what's going on." He pull my hands apart and turns in my arms. He sits down bringing me with him until I straddle his lap.

"It's nothing. I just get a little wary when my family actually shows any sort of kindness. I don't think he has a hidden agenda but I am really not the trusting type."

I huff. "Yeah, so I have noticed. I was a little surprised you gave in so easily. Care to explain?" I have been wondering about that ever since he agreed.

"The first thing that popped into my head is that I would get to spend a semi quiet weekend with you. It's been a while and I figured this would be the perfect opportunity. Max is all about family so I knew he would agree."

"But you agreed to let him pay for everything." I still don't understand.

"Yeah about that. I don't think he would ever hold it against me so I figured what the hell. I just don't like feeling in debt to people."

"So what, you don't let me pay for anything because you would be in debt to me?" I raise my eyebrow. _Is that what he really thinks?_

"No, no, that's different. Your my woman. It is my job to provide for you. That is, when you aren't trying to take my manhood away from me." He teases pulling me down by my face to kiss him. _Hmm I love when he does that._

Suddenly the door opens and I jump off Eric's lap to see Max standing at the door. "Um. Sorry Max." I stutter picking up my abandoned tablet and start counting again. Eric remains in his seat looking slightly amused but quiet.

"Eric, I need to see you in my office to discuss next weekend since you both will be leaving." Eric gives him a disapproving look and then looks around at everything that still needs to be put away.

"It's alright Eric. I will do it." I tell him and even though he is visibly not wanting to leave me with all this work, he nods his head and follows Max out giving me a tight smile.

* * *

 **So how do you guys like it? Reviews and comments are always appreciated. I promise to try not to take so long next time. Love you guys, and thank you for sticking with me. Until next time!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I know, I know, finally another chapter. Sorry for the wait. My mom had surgery last week and for those of you asking, she is doing well. We will find out if it is beyond stage two soon so please keep her in your thoughts. I know my chapters have been getting further and further apart but I am trying my best to write as much as possible, but with everything going on it is hard. I promise I will not stop though, just bare with me. Hopefully in a few months things will calm down. Thank you everyone again for sticking with me. I love all of you guys! Hope you enjoy it!**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

 _(Friday, January 15th)_

"We could have shared a car?" Eric says irritatedly to his uncle. It almost feels a little weird calling him that. I mean, his uncle looks like he could just be a friend of Erics' or even an older brother. In fact, several times I caught them just chatting away like they were old time buddies that haven't seen each other in years.

I suppose that is pretty similar to the truth. It was nice to see Eric relaxed around him. It's something that I don't see often, but with his uncle, it seems natural. He and Eric are very much alike, very blunt and straight forward, but I pickup a much more laid back and joking attitude from Davy. He had us both laughing most of the way to Chicago.

On the plane, they both told me a little about spending time with Eric's grandpa and Davy told me a few embarrassing stories about Eric growing up like how he was afraid of clowns. Eric insisted it was a moot point since his parents didn't believe being a clown was a worthy profession so he never had to deal with them often, but the way he glared at Davy told me he would have rather I didn't know that bit of information. I find it funny that of all things he could be afraid of, that's it. I didn't give him too much grief about it though, wanting us to continue to enjoy each others company, but it didn't stop me from trying to get Davy to tell me more.

After a few minutes of bickering at the car rental counter, Eric gives in grabbing my hand and leading us over to sit while Davy fills out the paperwork. I take Eric's hand in both mine hoping to break his irritation. It took a lot for him to let his uncle to fly us out here and pay for our hotel, but he is really pushing Eric's patience. He doesn't move so I tug on his hand. He finally looks at me and I raise my eyebrows and give him a pouty face.

After a moment, he takes a deep breath and then brings our entwined hands to his mouth, kissing the back of my hand. His form of a apology. I accept it with a smile and we sit quietly as we wait for the rental company to ready our cars.

So far this trip has been great other than the fact that we have to get back on Sunday morning now. When Max had interrupted us the other day, it was to inform him that Visiting Day was on Sunday and we would need to be present. Apparently it is usually more eventful than it was when I was a cadet. It's understandable being all of our families were all the way in Chicago, while our cadets are mostly from the Seattle area. Max had let it slip his mind when he first talked to Eric, so Eric called and made arrangements with this uncle, which turned out to not be a big deal since our upgraded seats allowed us to change times with no extra fees.

Today has already seemed like such a long day even though it's only eleven in the morning. We had gotten up super early this morning and were to the airport by six. I lay my head on his shoulder as the exhaustion began to kick in, but I don't get long to rest. Davy walks over to us and hands Eric a set of keys.

"I got you a Charger." He says with a smile, but Eric looks unimpressed. "Hey, at least it isn't a damn clown car." I giggle at the reference.

Eric glares at him. "Come on" He says standing and pulling me up with him as he takes the keys from his uncle. "Lets get to the hotel and get checked in."

We walk outside in silence and two car pull up as we walk out. A yellow Mustang convertible and the another looks like a red Dodge Charger but it is also a convertible. "Wait, Dodge doesn't make a Charger convertible."

I look to Davy feeling his stare and see his eyebrows raised as he looks toward Eric. "She knows cars too?"

"I know enough. I grew up poor. We fixed our own cars and dream about the ones we couldn't afford." I say simply and he laughs.

"Yep, I really like her. It's actually a custom car that they bought for the non-average renter. Nice huh?"

"You can say that again. I love powerful cars." I can't help but be enthusiastic and both Eric and Davy laugh.

"Oh, I can show you power." Eric says in my ear but the look on Davy's face says he heard it quite clearly. I turn slightly smacking Eric's arm as my face turns as red as the car.

Taking the opportunity of his inattention while he laughs at my expense, I snatch the keys out of his hands and start toward the car. "Fine, I'm driving."

It only takes a moment before Eric catches me, picking me up from behind. "Not today princess." He grabs the keys back out of my hand and sets me down next to the car, opening the door to the passenger side.

I press my lips in a line irritated and proceed to get in, but not before he smacks my ass leaving a little sting. I sit down glaring at him. "There's my good girl." He says sucking his lip in his mouth and biting it as it slides back out, making me forget why am irritated. _Hmmm._

He comes around and gets in. Looking around the car, the inside is just as beautiful as the outside with a awesome looking stereo and navigation system, custom-stitch leather bucket seats and impeccable carpeting. He starts the car, revving up the V8 Hemi. _What is it about guys and muscle cars?_ Whatever it is, it is making me feel excited. With the look on Eric's face, I would say as much as he is pissed, he is going to enjoy driving this car. Although he has a Charger, this one has obviously been modified.

"What?" He ask catching me staring at him yet again.

"Nothing." _Except how crazy hot you look right now._ I smile at him.

He grabs the top of my thigh and squeezes. His signature smirk appears as I squirm in my seat. "What time are we meeting your brother?"

"He had to go to school today so sometime afterward, or if you don't mind we could pick him up." I really do want to see him as soon as possible. I haven't seen him in months.

"I don't mind."

"Awesome. I will text him. What do you want to do until then?" He bites his lip as he looks at me with his eyebrows bouncing up and down.

"All afternoon? I thought you wanted to see the city?"

He laughs. "I would much rather be locked in a room all weekend with you." _Of course he would._

"Well I am back in Chicago for the first time in six months and I would like to get out and do something. Besides we have all night all weekend to do that."

He gets a pouty irritated look on his face. "Fine. Do I at least get a little before we have to pick up your brother."

"Maybe, if you be good." I tease and he grabs my thigh again making me jump. "Eric!"

"What? I'm behaving." He laughs.

Of course I silently love when he does that. In fact, I can't wait to get to the hotel.

* * *

Eric drags his fingers up and down my arm and he places light kisses in the wake of his fingers. It feels absolutely incredible. His fingers move to my stomach and down further until they are at the top of my pelvis bone. He places a kiss on my stomach and looks up at me with a half smile, half smirk.

"What? You didn't get enough the first time?"

"I will never get enough of you." He can be so adorable sometimes. I get up throwing his black tee shirt on over my naked body. "Hey where are you going?" He whines as he moves to the edge of the bed.

"Sorry babe, but I need a shower and we have to pick my brother up in forty-five minutes." An animalistic growl comes from the bed as I turn and walk into the bathroom. "I'll make it up to you later, I promise." I throw over my shoulder before I turn the shower on.

"Or I could just join you for your shower." His arms wrap around me from behind and he begins kissing my neck. As much as I don't want him to stop, i really want to go see my brother.

"If I don't stop you now, we will never get out of here." I try to get my heart behind my words but it is becoming increasingly harder as his finger trail between my legs. His fingers begin rubbing me in circles.

"Do you really want to stop me?" He whispers nipping at my neck.

 _Damn that feels so good and hell no I don't want him to stop._ I really should stop him but I don't want to. I grab his forearms firmly but I don't move them.

"We can be fast. I already got you on edge. Do you want it?" I can't say anything either way, his fingers begin to speed up. "Come on, tell me you want me princess. Tell me and I will help you with that ache I know is building inside you."

I grab the back of his neck as my head rolls to the side on his shoulder. "Say it." I can only moan as he continues. "Say it babe." I am so close but I would much rather have him in me when I reach my peak.

"Please." I moan and it was all he needed to hear.

He pushes me forward stepping us both in the steamy shower and under the water. My shirt is soaked in a second but he doesn't bother removing it. His chest on my back pushes me to lean forward and instinctively I support myself on the wall with my hands. Without stopping his assault on my clit, he slides into me from behind and I instantly feel the part of me craving him relax as he pushes me to hit my peak. I hear him breathing hard as his forehead presses against the top of my back. He begins slamming into me hard and his fingers move quicker. My legs begin to shake and I can't hold on any longer. I let go moaning Eric's name and it only causes him to move quicker causing my orgasm to to peak for several more seconds.

After several more thrust as I begin to come through the end of my release, he grunts loudly and stills inside of me. He's breathing hard and as he slowly pulls out of me, aftershocks shooting through my body threatening to collapses my legs. Feeling his tightened grip around my stomach holding me up, I let my head rest on the wall as I try to regain my composure.

"See, now don't you feel better?" I laugh knowing we know that was just as much for him as it was for me. He straightens me up, pulling my arms up before removing his soaked shirt from my body. Turning me around he places a kiss on my lips. I wrap my hand around his neck, pulling him back down as he begins to lean back and attach my lips to him ones more. When we pull apart a moment later, he is wearing that adorable smirk. "Now hurry and wash up before were late." He chuckles and I can't help but laugh too.

Eric grabs the soap handing it to me and we release each other as we quickly begin to wash up. The shower is really large and the double shower head makes it easy for both of us to wash up at the same time. Thankfully I washed my hair this morning. Unfortunately my hair is wet already. In our moments of passion, I didn't bother telling Eric I hadn't planned on washing it. _Oh well, at least I brought some leave in conditioner._

As we both get out and dry off, we send flirtatious smiles to each other which is not normally Eric's style but I love this carefree side of him. I don't get much time to enjoy it as we still have a twenty minute drive to the school. I quickly put on my black skinny jeans, long sleeve shirt and throw my hair up in a wet messy bun. Even a fast as I am, Eric is already finished sitting on the bed watching me as I put my Chucks on.

When I finish, he gets up and grabs my hand, pulling me up to him. He engulfs me in a hug and for a moment, everything falls away. I would be so happy if we could just be wrapped in our own bubble forever. He lets out a sigh and kisses the top of my head. "We better get going or we'll be late."

"I know." I say but don't bother to release my hold. He laughs and shrugs out of my grasp. I can't help but pout at the loss of contact

"Come on." He says grabbing my hand and pulling me out of our room into the livingroom of our two bedroom suite. I can hear loud snoring coming from the other room. I had almost forgotten that Davy was in the same suite. It was cheaper this way according to him but it also gave us the advantage of having a livingroom and kitchenette. Thankfully the bedrooms are on opposite sides of the suite. If not for that, I may not be able to look at Davy for the rest of the trip. I really need to learn to quiet down but with Eric, I find I can't really help myself.

We leave quietly and our car is waiting for us when we get downstairs. I don't know when he called down to the valet, but I am grateful because we are running a little late. Using the navigation, Eric quickly makes his way through the busy Friday traffic to the school.

It is almost surreal to be back here. Watching the buildings pass by the window of the places I grew up, I try to hold in the sadness I am feeling. As much as I love Eric and my new job, I still miss this place. We pull up to the school and we have managed to get here just as the last bell rings.

I am so antsy I cannot wait in the car. I jump out of the car and lean up against it, but Eric doesn't bother. Today is actually surprisingly a beautiful day and the top is down allowing me to hear him let out an exaggerated sigh. Kids start flooding out of the high school. Had things been different, I would be a senior this year. Funny enough, that is the one thing I do not miss. Things like prom, senior trip, and being the leaders of the school never excited me much. I always hated school even though I am good at it.

Finally I see my brother come out the front door, closely followed by Patrick who starts running toward me as his eyes find mine. When he reaches me he gives me a quick bear hug before passing me off to my brother. I try hard not to tear up as my brother gives me a quick hug. I have missed him a lot the last few months. For so long he was the only person I had that understood me.

"Missed you kid." He says to me before looking down to Eric. "Eric."

"Steven." Eric volleys back, neither sounding to enthused about being around each other.

"Hope you guys don't mind but I invited Patrick along. What are we doing anyway?" I had already planned everything for this afternoon. I really wanted to get out and show Eric the city since our stay here is extremely limited.

"That's great. I really missed both of you. I thought we could take Eric to Willis Tower and then catch a dinner boat tour. He hasn't ever been to Chicago."

"Sounds good to me, but only if I can pay." Steven says with a smile, but I instantly know that isn't going over well with the argument Eric already had with his uncle.

"Yeah, that's not happening. So either get in and deal with it, or go home."

 _Okay, not necessary._ "Eric, knock it off." I turn toward my brother. "Please just let him pay alright, it's our treat, no arguments." He doesn't look happy but he nods his head and I wave my hand toward the car.

"Nice car. Bet it cost a pretty penny to rent this baby." Patrick says. Eric doesn't say anything but he does rev the engine before pulling out. He gives me that look making me blush. Thinking about his comment earlier and his show of 'power' earlier, I know exactly where his mind is. I am also fairly certain knowing he can exert his 'manhood' by picking up the bill is ultimately making him feel better.

* * *

"What flavor would you like?" The nice woman behind the counter ask.

"Chocolate chip mint please." It has always been my favorite. She makes up my ice cream cone and hands it to me as Eric orders his and pays for all of them. Our afternoon has been perfect even though he has been slightly on edge for some unknown reason. Part of me thinks it's because he is not in his element. He can be very particular about things and when everything isn't to his liking, it shows.

Steven, Patrick and I move to the back of the crowd surrounding the ice cream vendor and walk over to the railing to wait for Eric. It's nice that they instinctively keep me out of crowded places. I admit I have been doing better but I still feel uncomfortable when too many people are standing so close to me.

"So what now?" Steven ask taking my hand with my ice cream and eating a bite.

"Hey brat, knock it off." I pull my ice cream away from him trying to keep from dropping it. _Brothers!_

"Dani?" Startled hearing my name unexpectedly, I turn around quickly and then freeze. _Oh shit._

"It is you." He walks up to me with a shy smile. "Hey guys." He says to Steven and Patrick who both instantly seem more alert. Leaning in he gives me a quick kiss on my cheek but I am too shocked to move. _What are the freaking odds of this?_

After a moment I shake off the shock. "Hi. How are you?" I need to think quickly on how to handle this situation and quick.

"I am good. I was sorry to hear about you being shipped off to Washington. That had to have sucked."

"It wasn't too bad, in fact I am still living there." _Think, think, I need to end this conversation._

"Yeah, Steven told me you got a job there. I was a little sad to hear you weren't coming back. You look great by the way. Not that you didn't look great before. You have always been beautiful." He stutters out.

"Yes. She has." _Shit!_ Eric steps beside me wrapping his arm around my waist and kissing me on my temple but his face and tone are a cross of agitation and anger. "You going to introduce me to your friend babe."

I take a deep breath trying to calm my nerves The last thing I want is for this to get out of control. "Um, yeah. Eric this is Al. Al this is my boyfriend Eric." _Crap, did I ever tell Eric about him._ I can't remember. _Crap, Crap, Crap!_

Eric takes his hand from around me since he is holding an ice cream cone in the other and shakes his hand very firmly. I see Al bite the inside of his cheek as he shakes Eric's hand. He looks to me and back at Eric several times before he says anything.

"Boyfriend? Wow, um that's great." Eric wraps his arm back around me. "Glad to see you have gotten past your, um, issues."

I feel Eric's glare on me but I can't bring myself to look up at him. "How exactly do you know Dani?" He questions. Obviously, not very many people know specifics about my issues.

"I...I...Dani and I sort of dated for a while last year."

Eric's grip around me tightens and I feel his fingers dig slightly into my hips. "Really. I don't think she ever told me about that."

Al seems at a loss for a moment. "So what are you doing here? Your brother didn't tell me you were going to be in town." I look to my brother, but he just gives me a slight apologetic smile as he gives a little shrug. He didn't tell me he become good friends with Al or anything.

"We're just in town for a few days." Eric's short clipped statements are making me a little nervous.

Al turns his eyes back to me and it seems he doesn't get the point that Eric really doesn't want him here. "Wow, so you are working and going to college now? Your brother told me you even live at the bootcamp where you work. You really like living at a bootcamp?" He does seem genuinely curious.

"Actually, we only live there part of the year. Dani moved into my condo on the waterfront just south of Seattle. That is where we live when the camp isn't in session."

Al's eyebrows shoot up. The longer we stand here the worse this is going to get. "Well it was nice to see you Al but we have to get going. We are on a tight schedule since we are only here two days."

Al nods his head. "Alright, maybe I will see you around next time your in town."

"Don't bet on it." Eric murmurs and I can't help but roll my eyes.

"Bye." He looks like he wants to say something more but thinks better of it. He turns to my brother. "I'll see you guys around." My brother and Patrick both say goodbye and we start walking down the Pier in the opposite direction he is going.

Eric is quiet but he hasn't let me go. Today has been such a good day. I don't want the last few minutes to ruin it. We spent the last few hours going all around Chicago. We went to Willis Tower and went up to the sky deck. Eric had held me from behind as we looked out over the city. For a moment just standing there, it was like we were alone, flying high in the sky.

Then we went on a boat tour and had dinner. I spent the whole time pointing things out to him and telling him about the city. We told Eric stories from our younger days like how we use to play tag in the big hotel and sneak into the pool on hot summer days. It was nice to get to show him where I grew up.

I don't think he's mad at me and really he has no reason to be mad at me for having an ex-boyfriend being he has had more than his share of ex-girlfriends, but then again, with Eric I never can tell. I love him but some times his logic is a pain in the ass. I fight with the idea of whether or not I should say something but I am probably better off just giving him a minute to think through his thoughts so he doesn't say something he doesn't mean. I decided to just slide my hand in his back pocket and keep walking. _Umm, he has such a fine ass._

By the time I have finished my ice cream cones I can feel he has relaxed just a bit, but I can tell we are heading back for the car. I really wasn't ready to leave, I was just trying to get away from Al before something bad happened. The sun is setting but I really can't think of anything else we could go do. I am not ready to leave my brother. Tomorrow evening we are spending with his family so this is it.

I turn to my brother. "It's Friday night. What is the plan?"

Steven looks at me a little surprised. "We were actually supposed go to the club later." _Crap._ Suppose to go meaning they are going to be selling. "But we can do something else if you want to."

I don't want to ruin their night either, especially if it is getting in the way of him making money. "No that's fine. You go have fun."

"What are you guys going to do?" He ask seemingly conflicted.

"I was thinking I would show Eric around the neighborhood." I see Eric glance at me for a moment out of the corner of his eye.

"Alright. Just please stay out of trouble." He jokes and I kick the side of his leg making him laugh.

We make it back to the car and I take one more look at the dying sun before I get in. It's beautiful reflecting off the water all the magical colors but even as pretty as it is, it doesn't have anything on the sunsets I see at Eric and my Condo. Funny enough it's making me miss it but I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Just because I moved away, doesn't mean I want to forget where I came from. This place is me, it's made me who I am and even as fucked up as that is, I don't wish it any other way because it is only because of my fucked up life that I met Eric. They say what knocks us down makes us strong and in my case it's true but I was lucky enough to find someone who could catch me when I was no longer able to get back up myself.

I hear Eric say my name quietly and I am brought out of my thoughts to see I am the only one not in the car yet. I quickly slip into my seat and shut the door a little embarrassed. Eric gives me a questioning look but I just shake my head and punch my address into the GPS.

"Patrick, we taking you home?" I ask quickly trying to get the attention off me since everyone in the car is currently staring at me.

"No. Just back to your guys house." It isn't my house anymore, but I don't bother to correct him. I just turn around and stare out the front as Eric pulls out and heads south.

As we head more and more out of the main touristy area of Chicago, I watch the scenery change. For someone who didn't grow up here, some may not notice some of the differences, but I know better. Like any great city, there is always the bad outlaying areas and here is no different.

It actually makes me curious. Seeing the faces of the young people on the streets. _How many of them are going to end up in a camp like ours?_ Harrison's Camp is opening in only a few short months. I am curious to know if their camp will get the same results as we have. I wonder if some of those kids that end up there will be people I know.

I don't think I could work there. I don't know how I would be able to deal with that. It's one thing to act tough and a bitch to strangers, but to people I have known. People I have grown up with, it would be too weird. Working at the camp you almost have to be a bit of a bully which is completely opposite of my life here. I was always the protector, the one who stood up to the bullies. People here may look at my life now and say I am not who I once was. Really they are right and again, I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I really want to just want to relax and clear my mind and I know just the place to do it.

We pull up to the apartments and Eric parks the car but doesn't turn it off. "Is mom and dad here?" I ask looking back to my brother.

"Nope. Dad's working a double and mom is spending the weekend at her cousins. Why?"

I turn to Eric. "Come on. I will show you where I use to live." He raises an eyebrow at me, turning the car off and we all get out. Going inside, we head straight to the stairs. Living here, you learn quickly, the elevator is never a safe option. It breaks down more than my uncle's old chrystler.

When we finally reach our floor several stories up, Eric lets out a half chuckle. "No wonder you were in decent condition when you got to camp." We all laugh as my brother lets us into the apartment. It isn't much but it was home for what seems like forever.

Patrick says his goodbye after covertly getting something from my brother's room. I take it he is back to his old ways and the smell coming from his backpack as he walks past me just solidifies my assumption. It's clear Eric is having a hard time holding his tongue but he somehow manages. Feeling the tension my brother quickly excuses himself saying he needs to get ready so I give a quick tour.

Eric's expression doesn't give away much as I show him around the small three bedroom apartment. "But my favorite place isn't actually inside." I tell him when I finish. He gives me a confused look and I grab his hand and head for the firescape. I feel the hesitation in his grip but he follows. Once outside I let go of his hand and don't stop, I head up toward the roof without looking back. I hear him stop for a moment, probably confused but he continues to follow after a moment. I make may way up on top and walk over to my favorite spot, stepping up the half a foot onto the ledge as I have done so many times before.

"What are you doing?" Eric ask as he steps onto the roof, but I don't answer. I just look out at the neighborhood. It just makes everything that has happened seem even more surreal. I feel like I haven't been here in years instead of months. Barely a year ago I was standing in this exact spot debating if I even wanted my life to continue and now I am so grateful I did.

I feel his arms wrap around me. "Hey. You okay?"

I take a deep breath. Even the air here is different. I have gotten so use to the fresh air of the mountains. "Yeah. It's just kind of nostalgic."

"Do you miss living here?" Worry laces his words.

I don't know why he is always doubting that I am happy with him. "No not really. I love living with you. It's just, this is where I grew up. This all I knew for so long. It's weird being back here. I feel like I have been gone for so long." His arms tighten around me and I look down leaning forward slightly.

"This use to be my favorite place to come. Whenever I was mad, or sad, or lonely, I would just come sit up on this ledge. Sometimes I would sit here for hours just watching everyone go about their business. It gets pretty interesting this time of day, in fact and Friday and Saturday are usually the most eventful."

The sun has recently set and you can see everyone starting to come out and make their way to whatever festivity they have planned. Eric still hasn't said anything and even being in my favorite spot, it is making me feel on edge. Without thinking twice I step forward off the ledge only to feel Eric instantly yank me back. "What the fuck!"

"Oh good your still there. With all this silence, I was starting to think I was up here by myself." I tighten my arms over his still tight grip around my waist. "Come on, sit with me." Still not saying anything, he lowers me slowly so that I can sit down and keeping his one arm around me, he sits next to me so that our legs dangle over the edge.

"Well, this explains your non-existent fear of heights." A bit of relief floods into me as he finally speaks, but I just shrug my shoulders. It isn't that I am not afraid of heights, I just don't let them bother me too much. Standing up on the lookout certainly took my breath away, but when I got over the initial shock, it allowed me to see the beauty around me.

I lean against his shoulder and look up. "It so amazing how many more stars you can see when you are in the mountains. I mean, I use to think how crazy that there were so many stars in the sky when I sat up here at night, but the first time I looked at the sky from camp. It was mind blowing."

"Mind-blowing huh?"

I sigh. "Seriously? Of everything I just said, that is the all you heard?" _Men!_

"I was just saying. I can think of a few things that were mind blowing." I let out an exaggerated huff.

"Yeah like what." I feel him turn his head toward me so I look up at him.

"Well, for starters. Your confidence." I raise my eyebrows at him. "Seriously. I had my doubts when I first saw you. You seemed like this small little girl and then that attitude and confidence appeared, it shocked me. I couldn't believe it. You seemed completely immune to my intimidating and overbearing nature and carried yourself like you had no doubts. Then I saw that blush on your cheeks and I was hooked. Yet another completely unknown and mind blowing emotion." He kisses me lightly.

His voice deepens and his face gets completely serious. "Then I started falling for you, mind blowing. Falling in love with you, mind blowing. The first time we made love, beyond mind blowing. And I could probably keep going for the next hour." He bites his lip, giving me that look and I swear I am going to explode. _How the hell does he do that to me?_

His lips are suddenly on mine taking away all my thoughts. I grab his face with my one free hand trying to pull him impossibly closer. I gasp as he grabs my waist without breaking our kiss, and pulls me on his lap so I am straddling him. My heart quickens knowing there is a very long drop behind me. I tighten my legs around his waist only making him grab my ass tighter. My adrenaline is going crazy with all my senses on high alert.

Pulling his hair hard, I deepen his kiss rewarding me with a loud groan that resonates deep in his chest. _Ahhh fuck!_ His hands slide just under my shirt without exposing anything to anyone, but right now I could care less. The feeling of his hands on me right now, right here is definitely mind blowing. "How about this? Does this register as mind blowing for you?" I whisper on his lips.

"Hell fucking yes." Kissing me more vigorously he rolls his hips up and I feel the bulge in his pants making me moan.

"Really you guys?" My brother voice screeches through the air. Eric's irritated growl matches my irritate groan as our perfect moment is ruined. "I was just coming to say goodbye, but we can skip it if you like."

I rest my head on Eric's chest. "No." I grumble. "I love you brother, but right now I really, really dislike you." Eric and Steven both chuckle irritating me more. _Fine._ I push all my weight forward quickly causing Eric to lose balance and fall backward onto the roof and taking me with him. It causing me to land sitting on his stomach which I am sure was very uncomfortable for him even though it wasn't a far fall. He looks up at me in shock. "Keep laughing." I say and I hear my brother break out in another bought of laughter as I stand up leaving Eric laying on the ground.

"Got to be careful with her Eric."

"Trust me, you don't need to tell me." He jumps up and brushes himself off.

"Come give me a damn hug you fool." I tell my brother as I walk toward him.

The minute my brother leaves I am dragging Eric back to the hotel where we can hopefully be uninterrupted since Davy is out hanging with some old friend tonight. I hug my brother tight and we say our goodbyes. He promises to come visit me on his next break from school and then leaves us alone once again on the roof top. The neighborhood is getting louder as people begin enjoying their Friday night.

"Lets get back to the hotel so I can give you something to write down in your 'mind blowing' book." _Oh christ._ That fucking smirk is going to be the death of me. At least our minds are in sync. I grab his hand and pull him quickly toward the firescape, wanting to get back to the hotel as quick as possible.

* * *

 **Hope you all liked it. It took a little longer to write so I hope if flowed well. Normally I write the chapter over a day or two and then go back and add parts and edit, but with everything that is going on I just didn't have time to do that. Comments and reviews are always welcome so please let me know what you think. I promise, I will try to get the next chapter out ASAP. Thank you all for sticking with me through this. Until next time!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey Everyone, I'm back. Sorry about my small break but I really did need it. It has been almost a year since I started writing this series and I have had a lot going on with my personal life. I thank all of you who continue to stick by me and I really hope you like the new chapter. Enjoy**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

 _(Sunday, January 17th)_

 **Eric POV**

"Please man! I need you to do this for me. " This is such adolescent behavior. It's not right that someone so tough to whining at me like a little girl.

"Paulo, I don't want this responsibility. Why don't you ask Four to do it?"

"You're joking right? I don't trust him to hold on to it. Come on please?" I let out a low growl in displeasure. He has been pestering me for the last hour about this and I really don't have time. I need to finish this paper work before people start to arrive. The only bad thing about taking a few days off is that you have to come back to twice the work.

"Fine." I must be crazy to do this. I'm actually agreeing to hold on to his engagement ring. _What am I thinking?_ "You owe me big time."

"I can't even believe your going to propose. You guys really haven't been together that long. How do you know you want to be with her for the rest of your life?" Not that I haven't thought about proposing to Dani because I have, but it's a huge step and Paulo has never really been the tied down type, which is why we always got along so well.

"Dude there is no way I will ever find someone like her. She is incredible, smart, and for some crazy reason, she actually loves me. I got to do something to hold her down."

I give him a questioning look. "Do you really think she would break up with you?"

"I don't know, but I sure in hell ain't gonna to wait to find out. I am going to lock her down before she has a chance to run."

I can't help but to chuckle. "Okay, whatever you say."

"Do you really think it is too early to ask her?"

"Your asking me? How am I suppose to know? The only long lasting monogamous relationship I've been in is with Dani and our relationship is far from normal."

"Fuck man, I don't know. I love her and I just don't want her to slip away."

"So your telling me that your are only marrying her because you are afraid she is going to leave you?"

"No. That isn't the only reason. I love her and I can see us spending the rest of our lives together. Don't you ever feel like that about Dani?"

 _Hell yes._ I've thought about what our lives would be like if we got married, but we are still struggling to get over what happened to her. "Yeah, maybe, but I don't think it would be a good idea to go down that road right now. I think we need some normalcy before we think about those things."

* * *

"Wow, you were right. This is a lot more people then when I was here." Her soothing voice speaks up beside me.

I really try hard not to look at her as we do a perimeter walk. After a small argument with Max, I got him to agree to keep Dani from walking around by herself today. The last thing I need is for something else to happen to her.

She bumps my arm with her own and when I look at her, she has a questioning look on her face. "What?"

She smiles that adorable smile causing a small twitch in my pants that I hope she doesn't notice. "I asked if this normal."

I look up around me and there are a bunch of people roaming around with whichever cadet they are visiting. "Yes, this is pretty typical. During your session we were all pretty bored. Normally it takes all of us to keep an eye on things which is why Bud and Shauna choose to visit today. They get to spend the day with their love ones in exchange for helping out for a few hours. It's a win-win for Max. "

She nods her head and looks around at the various small groups scattered everywhere. I take the time to do the sames. Max didn't want her distracting me today and I have no intention of giving him a reason to say no in the future.

My attention is drawn to an older man and Skyler who are walking back toward the far side of the dorm. I wouldn't particularly think it as odd except Skyler looks off, shoulders slumped, staring at the ground as he walks. Extremely out of character for him. _This can't be good._

I tug at Dani's sleeve to get her to follow and start walking in Skyler's direction in a round about way so they don't notice we're following. Dani doesn't question me and it only takes a second before her eyes light up in understanding. It's so nice to be with someone who can just look and understand me without words. Sometimes I wonder if she is physic, it is like she knows what I want and just does it, well most of the time. Then again if that were true, she would do what I ask and keep the bad shit from happening to her, but it is nice when it works.

 _Focus!_ I look up to see Skyler glancing back with apprehension as he round the corner and then disappears behind the dorm. Seeing his face puts all of my nerves on high alert. Every year there is something. Someone tries to get away or tries to sneak something into camp. Fortunate for me, I tend to pick up on people even when they're trying not to be suspicious. I will not let this happen on my watch.

As we approach the corner stair case I slow and wave Dani to get behind me. I need to get a sense of what I am dealing with before we go after them. On rare occasions people to try to get weapons in here and the last thing I need is Dani to get hurt again. She gives me a questioning look but complies. We stop when we reach the stairs.

"Are you fucking joking me? What kind of Brady Bunch shit is going on here?" The older man's voice is harsh but low. "This looks more like a fucking weekend outing then a bootcamp. How are you ever suppose to learn shit here? Seriously, what do you do? Sit around the campfire singing nursery rhymes."

I have yet to hear Skyler but I have yet to hear anything too concerning. Most parents don't get the point of this place. They just get to see the aftermath when their child comes home, typically better behaved then when they left. My father would probably be saying the same thing. Then again he never even bothered to visit when I was here. Nor did my mother. They rather try to hide the fact that I had even gotten in trouble.

"What the hell you little shit? I asked you a question." My nerves are back on end again as his voice turns menacing and slightly louder. Dani goes to walk in front of me but I grab her wrist. She obviously is uncomfortable with his tone too. Still we shouldn't interfere unless he is in danger. "Boy, you better answer me!"

"It's, um it's..." Skyler reaches for words barely above a mumble.

"It's what? Speak up you retard. I see that they haven't even taught you some proper speaking skills." _Asshole._ I am starting to get a good idea about what kind of man he is. He reminds me a lot like a man I know all too well.

"We do a lot of stuff here. They keep us pretty busy. We go to classes and we exercise a lot." He says quickly.

"Classes? What good does that shit do? Sounds like a cake walk to me. This place ain't going to change nothing with you. It's just another hole for them to stick screw ups and pretend they are trying to help. Mark my words, this place will never help a kid like you. You will always be a fucked up trouble maker who is too stupid to not get caught. What a fucking waste of my tax dollars. They even got girls in you damn dorm. Not that any of them would ever give two bits about you. What a joke."

"That's not true."

"You calling me a liar?"

"No sir. I'm just saying this place isn't so bad." Wow, you could have fooled me. I was under the impression he hated it here.

"Isn't so bad. What the fuck? You turning into a sissy? Is hanging out with all those girls is turning you into a weak little sissy?" _What the hell is wrong with this guy?_

"I am NOT a sissy." Skyler says loudly.

"Who the fuck do you think your talking to you little shit." Immediately I start to move. I hear something slam against the wall. "Better remember who you are talking to you little bastard."

"Hey!" I shout but it is a second too late as he swings and hits Skyler square in the jaw. He doesn't even try to block it and his head snaps to the side but his body is pinned against the wall keeping him from falling down.

"This isn't your business, just walk away. This is between me and my son." _Not today!_

"This is my camp, he is my cadet and that makes it my business. Now let him go." He slams Skyler hard against the wall before releasing him and taking a step toward me. Dani goes to take a step toward him. I can see the rage in her face but this is no place for her. I quickly take a step in front of her. "Dani, take Skyler in the dorm please while I talk with his father."

"I'm not done here."

"Yes you are. Skyler go with Dani." Skyler moves toward her but his father grabs his arm as Dani steps out from behind me toward Skyler making me a bit nervous but I focus back on the asshole in front of me. "Remove your hands off him now."

"Or what? This is my fucking kid and if I think he needs a smack here or there to keep him in line, then that is what he is going to get."

I take one more step so I am directly in front of him. "I will only say it one more time. Remove your hand from him."

"Fuck you asshole. If I want to beat the shit out of this sorry excuse for a son, then that is what I am going to do, and there isn't anything you or this little bitch can do to stop me. He deserves everything he gets so back the fuck off." He pulls at Skyler's arm moving him back toward him.

 _I warned him._ Without a second thought, I swiftly punch him in the jaw in the same manner I saw him do to Skyler minutes ago. He goes down to one knee, letting go of Skyler and looks up at me shocked, as does Skyler.

"Skyler go inside with Dani. That is an order cadet." I keep my outside composure but on the inside I just want to beat this douche bag to a blood pulp.

He stands up straighter and looks at his father in discuss. I can't help but feel how much I would have loved to do that to my father when I was his age. "Yes sir." He turns heading toward the dorm and Dani falls in behind him.

"You son of a bitch. You think your saving that boy. He'll be out of here soon and then he won't have you to fight for him."

"I don't need anyone to fight for me." I look over my shoulder to see Skyler and Dani have stopped at the corner.

I look back to his father but speak loud enough for Skyler to hear. "Your right. You don't because this will never happen again. If by some chance it did you now know how to protect yourself and I damn well expect you to. No matter who it is, you have the right to protect yourself. Is that clear cadet?"

He glaces at his dad and then nods at me. "Good now go." As they turn around and head for the stairs I watch his father get up looking half angry, half confused. I lower my voice and glare hard at him as I lean in. "As for you, if I ever hear about you touching him ever again, and trust me I will hear about it, I will find you and next time I won't stop at just one punch." _Stupid fucking child abusing, sorry excuse for a father._

"Are you threatening me?"

"Threatening you," I shake my head. "No." I straighten up and give him a small smile like we are having an everyday conversation. "Just stating a fact. Now get the hell off my property before I call the police." He gives me a dirty look but smartly stocks off toward the parking lot.

I let out a deep sigh and head inside to check on the kid. As much as I disliked him, things are starting to come into prospective. According to his file, he lost his mother when he was five to a car accident and is being raised by his father, a suspected drunk that may have a drug problem. No wonder he has so much aggression.

After pausing to watch him walk between the buildings toward the parking lot, I walk into the dorm. Dani is sitting on a chair in front of him as he sits on his bed. They are talking quietly, but he seems calm. "Are you okay cadet?"

In a rush, he stands and turns toward me. His bad guy act is back in full swing. "I didn't need you to step in. I could have handled it." I try to ignore the fact that Dani had to jump up and back to avoid his sudden outburst. I also don't believe for one moment that he would have 'dealt with' his father, but I do believe his pride is hurt. With that in consideration I take a quick calming breath.

"I know. I just figured it was better for me to get in trouble for hitting him instead of you." I shrug my shoulders playing it off as Dani presses her lips in a line. She is obviously pissed, but I know kids like him. He wouldn't have hit him. He would have just stood there and took it, but it isn't my job to sit here and put him down, it's to help him build confidence in himself so he can become a better person. "Now, go to the infirmary and get some ice for that jaw."

"I don't need..." I cut him off.

"Don't forget who you are talking to. I stepped in because he was wrong to do what he did. I on the other hand am not him. I have done nothing to earn your disrespect and I will not allow you to act as such. I would never stoop as low as to hit you, but I will discipline you if you continue in this current manner. Don't let your pride over power what is right. Do you understand cadet?" He stares at me for a few more seconds before walks off without another word. As much as I don't like the fact that he didn't answer me, I just watch him walk out of the dorm with his head hung low. He has been through enough for the moment.

Dani barely waits until the door closes fully. "What the hell was that?" I don't face her because with that tone I can already see her face in my head. "Max is going to be pissed!"

"Max doesn't need to know." I say quietly hoping she will calm down.

"Max knows everything that goes on here. He will find out. Why would you jeopardize your job?"

"What was I suppose to do, nothing, just let him be knocked around by that piece of shit?"

"Absolutely not but you didn't need to hit him."

"Well he deserved it."

"I am not saying that he didn't but you are suppose to be the responsible adult here. What you did was childish."

"So what you are calling me a child?" Anger rises in me quickly and I turn toward her.

"I am not calling a child, I said your actions were childish. How many times have you preached control to me and than you pull something like that?"

"Because you needed it, making you the least qualified person to stand here and lecture me about it!" I shout, instantly regretting it as I see sadness and anger filling her eyes.

She walks up to me barely containing in her own ire. "Glad to know how you really feel." She says quietly without looking me in the eyes and steps around me heading for the door. _Fuck!_

"Babe stop." But she doesn't even pause, just keeps walking. Great, this would be one of those times she takes what I said the wrong way. "Hey..." I grab her shoulder quickly trying to keep her from opening the door. She instantly becomes tense under my hand making me drop it immediately. _Double Fuck!_

I know better than to do that when she is being emotional. At least she stopped, but she makes no attempt to speak or even turn to face me. I didn't really mean what I said, I am more just irritated that she is right. I really didn't think my actions through before I acted.

She remains quietly facing the door with her back to me. I have to say something, I don't want to fight with her. We had such a good time in Chicago, we have been on a natural high since we got back. I have been feeling up in the clouds, kind of like I felt standing with her at Willis Tower looking over the city from the sky deck. I felt like it was just us, in our own little shell, looking out over the city below.

"I didn't mean to shout at you. I was just frustrated. Don't be mad at me." She doesn't say anything so I risk it and lightly run my fingers down her arms. I feel her relax under my touch after a few seconds, a good sign.

Pulling her hair to the side I kiss her gently behind her ear trying to kiss away the last few minutes. She takes a deep breath and leans back into me.

"I was just worried. I know you want Tori's position. On top of that, what if Max decided to fire you? I have worked my butt off to be able to get this position here. So that I could be here with you. I did this for you….for us."

 _Shit._ She's right again. I didn't really think about that. Actually, I really didn't think at all which is the real problem and she is right on both counts. I know better not to act on a whim like that and I should have realized that my actions don't only affect me. It's my job to take care of her, its not just my life anymore. She put a lot of faith in me by giving up her life and staying here with me.

"I guess it probably wasn't a good idea to hit him."

"Yeah think..." She says sarcastically as she turns around and wraps her arms around my neck. "Please just keep your cool in the future." She lays her head on my shoulder and I wrap my arms around her, hugging her tightly to me. "Apology accepted."

My eyebrows shoot up. "Apology?" _Where did she get that from?_

"Am I mistaken, should I still be mad at you?" She pulls back with her lips press into a line.

"Well no but..."

"But what?" I am at a loss for words. She totally pulled me into that.

"Nothing." _Urg,_ frustrating this woman is. I shake my head with a little chuckle and I give her a peck on her lips. "We better get back to patrolling before we really do get in trouble." A smile spreads across her face. She grabs my hand and we head back outside.

As we pass through the doorway I pull my hand out of hers. After a brief moment of pouting, her smile returns. I feel surprisingly good as well although I wouldn't go as far as putting a smile on my face. I scan my surroundings again and everything seems quite normal, or as normal as can be expected. Visiting only last another hour and then we can relax a little since there is no evening PT. The only part that sucks is I will have to spend most of the night going over the surveillance videos to check for suspicious activities.

Normally I wouldn't mind going through them will everyone else sits around and drinks and hangs out with each other. I have never really been comfortable with big groups, but it would have been nice to hang out with Dani tonight. I suppose it is only fair being we got the last few days off. The next few months couldn't go fast enough. I can't wait to have her all to myself again.

Dani slows and I follow suit. I follow her eyes, she must see something out of place, but when I look toward the staff cabins I don't see anything out of the ordinary. Max and Harrison are talking in front of them and an older couple is walking with one of the cadets but that's it.

"Do you see something?" I keep scanning the area in that direction, but she doesn't answer. Stopping I turn toward her "Dani?"

She stops and hesitantly looks up toward me. "Huh?"

"You okay?"

She shakes out her head as if to clear it. "Yeah, I'm fine." She's off almost looking confused and it puts me on edge.

"Your sure?"

She smiles up at me but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Yeah. Just tired, spacing out a little. I need some coffee."

"We can go get some."

"It's okay. You don't have to come with me, I can grab it and meet you back out here."

 _Yeah right, that's not happening._ "It's alright, I could use some myself. It's going to be a long night for me." She nods her head and we start moving to the mess haul.

Once we get inside she relaxes a little but her arms are wrapped around herself. I press my lips in a line. "Where is your jacket?" I scold her. I can't believe I just noticed she only has her sweater on.

"I left it in the dorm. With all the adrenaline running through me, I was hot so I took it off and left it on Skyler's chest. I didn't even realize I was cold until just now."

 _Geez._ She really doesn't have any sense of self preservation. I slide my jacket off and put it around her shoulders. I make our coffee's as she slides her arms in the sleeves, her smile returning.

Paulo walks up to us just as I finish and hand her a cup. "Hey guys. What's up?"

"Not much. Mister macho over here decided Skyler's dad was a douche bag and hit him, but other than that it has been fairly uneventful." She sure has a way with words.

"What are you kidding me?" Paulo looks at me expectantly.

This is not the time or place and I glare at her. "I'll tell you…."

Dani suddenly spits her coffee all over the front of Paulo cutting me off. "What the hell?" Paulo says jumping back and I am trying not to laugh until I see her hand.

Her eyes are wide staring at it. Paulo finally stops trying to brush himself off and looks to see her shocked face before looking at me. "Babe it isn't what you think." I try to explain quickly.

In less than a second she hands her coffee to Paulo, puts the box back into the pocket, takes it off and hands it to me. "Dani, I.."

"I am sorry. I shouldn't have been going through your pockets. Sorry." She turns and runs out the back door of the mess haul. _What the hell was that all about?_ I mean, I know it must have been a shock and I can imagine what she thought, but her reaction leaves me flabbergasted.

"I fucking told you Paulo. This is just my luck."

"Does she think? Why is it in your pocket? Why was she wearing your jacket?"

"Not now." She is freaking out. I don't even know how to process that. Shoving my coffee at him I take off after her, not caring that I just spilled my coffee on Paulo.

"Dammit Eric!"

It only takes two steps out the door before I see her crouched down against the building with her hands covering her face. If I didn't know better I would say she was hyperventilating as I hear her trying to take big deep breaths. I really wish I knew what was going through her head right now.

"Hey." Not wanting to freak her out anymore than she already is I just crouch down in front of her instead of trying to touch her. I understand her being upset but I didn't ever think she would react this way. _What if it really was for her? What if I had decided to propose?_

"I'm sorry. I just don't know what to think right now. I wasn't expecting something like this, I am so sorry."

"You don't need to apologize. It's not what you think." But now I am a little worried about my thoughts. She doesn't want this. I can't say that doesn't hurt a little being I couldn't imagine not being with her. Marriage is an eventual and logical next step. Maybe she just needs a little time. I can only hope it's that and not something else.

"We're young. Are you sure you have thought this through? I mean this is a big step. It hasn't been that long and there is so much, so much. Me, are you sure you want this with me." I put my finger on her lips to quiet her. She is talking so fast I can barley understand her and she is two seconds from really hyperventilating.

"Dani, please calm down. That ring isn't mine." She looks at me horribly confused. "I'm holding it for Paulo, he is going to propose to Marlene."

"You mean this wasn't..." She trails off.

"No, but do you really not want to marry me." I tried to keep my voice even but I wasn't successful. I don't know if I really want to know, now that I have asked because I have to say that it really hurt to think she will say no. I've thought about it and I really do want to but I was afraid that she would react just like this. Well not this dramatically but that she wouldn't want to marry me.

"It's not that Eric."

 _Could have fooled me._ "Then what is it?" Because that is what it seems like to me.

"Eric, I am probably the most fucked up, most unlucky person in this state. Hell, maybe even the entire country. Do you really want to go through life constantly worrying about me? I'm broken, damaged, you deserve so much better than me." I hate hearing her voice so weak, so self depreciating.

I suppose it really isn't me. I wish she would stop doubting herself. I carefully grab her shoulders and pull us up to stand, but she keeps her head down so I pull it up as well. "Hey I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Your not ready to take that step and it's fine, I'm okay with that. It doesn't make me love you any less and one day when you are ready, we can take that next step together."

She smiles and a single tear escapes her eye. "I think I can handle that."

"Good, because it wasn't up for discussion. One day you will be my wife." I say playfully.

"Really? You know, I could always say no." If it wasn't for the sarcastic grin I would be hurt.

"Yeah, but would your really want to?"

"Hmm, spend the rest of my life with a protective, intelligent, hot boot camp instructor or live the rest of my life alone. That's a hard one."

I love it when she is playful. "Well here, let me help you choose." I take her face gently in my hand and kiss her gently, letting her melt between my hands. When I stop, I sense that she is much more relaxed now. "How about now?"

"I don't know, I think you need to show me again." She says breathlessly.

I happily grant her request. Spending the rest of my life doing this. Yes, I would be perfectly content with this. I can only hope when I really do ask her, I get a much different response.

I break our kiss much sooner than I want to but I know I have to. "We have to get back before anyone realizes we are gone and for the record, I want to thank you for getting Paulo back. I never wanted to hold on to that ring to begin with. The look on his face was priceless."

"So you have really thought about marrying me?" She ask shyly.

"All in good time princess. I am in no hurry and I am not going anywhere." I give her one last kiss and grab her hand, leading back inside.

* * *

 **So what did everyone think? I actually had a hard time in the middle of this chapter but in the end I really like how it turned out. It may take me a minute to get back into my writing habits so the next few chapters may come a little slower but I promise I will get one out at least every two weeks. My goal is to get back down to weekly post until this book is done. Again thank you to all my readers, it means so much to me. Please let me know you thoughts and feel free to be honest. I much rather know everyone's true feelings. I am a big supporter of constructive critisim. Hope to hear from you guys. Until next time.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello everyone. I have another chapter for you. It took a few rewrites as I couldn't make up my mind on how to play this out but I think I have it down and I am happy with it. Hope you enjoy it.**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter** **8**

 _(S_ _atur_ _day, January_ _23_ _rd_ _)_

 _I walk slowly down the aisle toward Eric who is standing patiently waiting, for once. I don't think I have ever seen him look more handsome. The sleek black suit shows off his perfectly sculpted body. A navy blue vest peaks out from under his jacket along with a matching tie, brightening his eyes that are frozen on me. I am incredibly nervous even though I know I shouldn't be. This is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with._

 _Paulo, Zeke, Jeff, and Eric's brother Greg are all lined up next to him in matching suits with smiles on their faces. Marlene, Shauna, Christina and my sister are lined up on the opposite side. Blue and white flowers are beautifully laid out on the stage and through out the room accented by ribbon and lace. It is everything I always wanted, small and personal but breath taking._

 _Staring at me are all the faces of people closest to us. My mom, brother and sisters, Eric's uncle and Grandpa Scott, Max and everyone from camp. My dad tightens his arm around mine as we reach the end of the aisle and the music stops._

 _As the pastor starts to speak, I see his lips move but no sound comes out. My father moves beside me and gives me a kiss on the cheek before leaving me standing there by myself. Gesturing, the pastor waves for me to join Eric but my feet are stuck. Again, I try to move forward but it is like I am stuck in cement. I yell out to Eric whose expression has turned confused._

 _What is going on?_

 _Just a few more steps and I will reach him. I want this, to be with him. I want to spend my life with him._

 _Why can't I move?_

 _I try again, finally moving slightly but instead of taking a step forward, I take a step back. I don't want to go back, I want to go forward. I want him. Putting more strength into my legs I lift my foot again to move forward but only succeed in taking another step back. Please, I want to go to him._

 _Panic explodes in me as I lose the last bit of composure I was holding on to. I put all my energy in moving toward him, but the more I struggle to go forward the further away from him I get. Tears begin streaming down my face and my heart breaks as his expression turns to sadness._

 _Please, please, I want this, I want him. He lowers his head as Paulo lays a hand on his shoulder. This isn't how it is suppose to be. We were going to be happy, finally happy. I scream for him once more as I move back out of the room and the door slams shut in my face cutting off my screams._

I wake up in a pool of sweat. The clock on the night stand reads four in the morning. _Why can't I ever have a happy dream?_

Marlene is still sleeping soundly in her bed and it is still really dark outside. I should really go back to bed but my body is tingling. I need to get up and move. Getting out of bed, I slip on some sweats and a hoodie. I grab my jacket and leave my cabin quietly so I don't wake Marlene.

It has been a crazy winter and it's still really cold outside. There is still some snow on the ground but it hasn't snowed in over a week. Only the low temperatures have kept the snow around. As I stare at the stars that are so bright in the sky I quickly put on my coat. The cold, fresh air awakens my body making me feel a lot better as the remanence of my dream begin to fade away.

I really only have two choices, I can walk around the track or I can go to the gym. Eric would probably have a heart attack if I was outside this early all by myself so I opt to go to the gym and avoid a potential argument. It is irritating to make decision based on his reaction but in hindsight, I don't tend to make the best decisions. Actually, that may be an understatement. I really need to start thinking things all the way through instead of acting on pure emotion.

As I almost reach the gym, I decide there is no way I am going to survive the day without caffeine and detour to the mess haul to make some coffee first. I have plenty of time to drink a cup and get in a quick workout on the bag before everyone gets up. I laugh as a thought comes to mind. I am even starting to act like Eric, working out before working out.

Inside the mess haul is awkwardly quiet. There usually is someone in here all day long, whether it is prepping or preparing meals. Now that it is winter, many of the cadets come in here just to get out of the dorm since the weather isn't suitable for being outside. I come in here often to find one sitting at the table working on their assignments.

I check the coffee pot and as expected it is ready to brew. I just have to turn it on and wait for it to brew. So I do and stand there looking out of the window at the stars. Time seems to just be flying by. Visiting day was just last week marking the half way point of the session.

I can already see subtle changes in the cadets. Several of them starting to show characteristics of wanting to succeed, showing more respectful behavior, even showing the desire to better themselves. It makes me proud that I have been a small part of that. Although my part is not as prevalent in camp yet, I know it will come and that feeling of accomplishment will be even more fulfilling.

It will definitely make up for this ridiculous schooling regiment. All these late nights up studying for test and doing homework will soon be over and I will have finally accomplished something to be proud of. I will have a degree, an awesome job and an amazing boyfriend. I will have all that and a whole lot less stress. I have no delusions that the rest of my life will be a cake walk, but with everything that has gone wrong, I can only see them getting much easier for me.

The coffee pot beeps that it has finished and I pour my cup of coffee. As I turn around, I am startled by a figure standing inside the door staring at me. I fumble my cup in my hand and somehow manage not to spill any.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"Bad dream. I would ask you but I already know." Eric smirks at me. The only time I ever see him sleep more than a few hours at a time is if we are sleeping together. I turn back around and begin making him a cup of coffee.

"You know me well. Better than anyone else on this earth. Do you want to tell me about your dream?"

I shake my head. Really I just want to forget the whole thing. "How about we go get a workout in together before P.T.?"

"Okay, if that's what you want." He smiles, taking the offered coffee cup and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks." He grabs my hand and we head for the gym.

The lights are now on and I wonder if he had first went to the gym and saw that someone was in the mess haul. When we walk in I see Harrison putting on his gloves and I try to release Eric's hand but he doesn't let me. We are still trying to keep our relationship professional but Eric has taken dislike to Harrison again after he gave me another book. I really don't think it is anything other than being friendly but of course Eric has to take it extreme personal.

"Good morning." He says looking up at us. "Dani, don't see you much this early in the morning."

It's true, I usually am not much of a morning person other than when my nightmares get to me. Eric huffs beside me and I just ignore him. I am assuming this isn't the first time these two crossed paths in the morning.

"I couldn't sleep. I thought I would join Eric for a quick workout."

"You don't want to spare this morning Eric?" I didn't know they do that. Eric has never said anything to me.

"Don't let me mess up your guy's routine. I can just hit the bag for a while. In fact, I think I prefer it this morning." Harrison looks at me with a weird expression but understanding crosses Eric's face and I am grateful.

"Alright." Eric says simply, giving me a quick kiss on my forehead and handing me his Ipod before he heads over to the ring. I'm not sure how he knew I didn't have mine but I'm not going to ask.

"Everything okay?" Harrison ask.

"Oh yeah. Just part of my therapy." I say with a giggle walking away toward the glove cage because it really is for me. It has been my go-to since I first came here.

I put the ear buds in and put on my training gloves, then stretch my arms out as I walk up to the bag. I glance back at Eric for just a moment and he gives me a wink as him and Harrison begin to circle each other. I smile and turn back to focus on my bag.

There is so many things circling my mind. This week has been fairly busy. Tris has been sick again and I have been in the classroom a lot by myself. As much as I appreciate the practice, it also comes along with a lot more work. Having to grade the papers, teach lessons and grade behavior for everyone in addition to my own studies.

The work has kept my mind busy so I haven't really had to confront a lot of the things that happened last week. Apparently it isn't just going to go away on its own. Obviously I haven't confronted the fact that I thought Eric was going to propose to me. My dream was extremely vivid and while I feel a little better, I can't help but wonder what the heck it meant.

I know it shouldn't have been a big deal and I am not sure myself why I overreacted so bad. I always think of our relationship in long term. If he asked me, I really do think I would say yes and I would be perfectly happy and content with that. The small amount of time I have tried to justify my actions, I have come to believe it was just the shock of knowing, or at least thinking, that he wanted it too. I have never thought I would be with anyone for an extended period of time, and especially never thought I would ever get married.

With everything we have been through, I wonder how he still wants to be with me. However, I cannot discard his words or his actions. He is not always the most vocal person but he tries when we are alone which is few and far between. His actions on the other hand are loud and clear. As much as I hate him being jealous, it also gives me a little relief because it makes me feel like he still wants me. His simple possessiveness like when we ran into Al on our trip to Chicago.

I will admit, it can be overbearing sometimes but he is getting better. After we ran into Al, he was very tense for a short period of time but he reigned it in and we continued to have a great time afterward instead of letting it ruin our whole trip. The next night he did just as well, toning it down and just acting as a proud boyfriend.

I don't think I will ever forget that night, it was so wonderful to get to go and support his Grandpa Scott. After making a big deal about how great I looked in my dress we had a very nice and normal night. As people throughout the night complimented on how beautiful I was, he smiled, putting his head up and shoulders back like he had won the prize himself. I don't know if I have ever felt so wanted, so loved, it was unforgettable.

Why would I ever have doubted his love for me or the want to marry? He has stuck by me this whole time. Broken, used, and even a little crazy and he acts like he is the one who has won the prize. I really need to do something to show him what happened was nothing more than messed up nerves of and over emotional day.

I feel a tug and one of the ear buds pops out of my ear making me stop moving my arms that I had hardly noticed I were moving. "Your phone keeps buzzing." Eric says with a lifted eyebrow.

 _Crap._ I didn't stick it back in my pocket. I hurry over to the bench and check to see what is so important. It's just Tris with the same thing she has texted me several times this week. "Tris is still not feeling good. She asked if I would take over yet again and then sent four more to apologize for being sick. Like she can help it or something. It's really not a big deal, I don't mind."

"Yeah, I let Four go spend the night with her last night. She was puking alot and he has been a pain in my ass all week worrying about her. I had Marlene keeping an eye on her too. She says as long as she doesn't get dehydrated, she should be okay, but there is no telling Four anything. Really I just wanted him out of my hair."

 _Sure!_ He would never admit it but he cares too and that was really nice of him. "I guess it is a good thing I got everything put together for today already. She didn't look good when I stopped by yesterday to visit her so I kind of expected it. You know, Jeff could probably take over for Four today so he can stay with her. If it is bad like that, she really shouldn't be alone?"

Eric stays quiet so I glare at him. I don't know why he always has to act like such a hard ass to him. "You know, Four did cover for us while we were gone last week."

"Covered? Jeff taught my classes. How did he cover for me?"

"Eric!" I scold him. He and I both know there is more that Eric does than just teaching classes and there is no way Jeff did it all by himself. I don't even think he knows how.

"Fine." He puts his hands up defensively. "Fine, I will give him the day off to take care of her okay. Happy?"

I give his a smirk. "Yes, very." I pull him down to me and give him a quick kiss. "I need to go get changed." Eric is already in his uniform but I am not and PT starts in fifteen minutes.

"I guess I should go let the guys know our change for the day."

"Your a good man Eric."

He huffs. "Only because your around."

I highly doubt that. He is a good man on the inside, he just doesn't like to show it because like me, he is afraid to get close to people. I smile giving him another kiss. "See you at P.T."

* * *

"Hey. Would you like to go into town with me?" Eric ask walking into the classroom. I just dismissed my last class of the day and we have a little time before dinner and P.T. but I also have to do today's paperwork. I suppose I could always do it later.

"Sure. What are we going for?"

"Marlene wants us to pickup so Gatorade for Tris. She is getting dehydrated and Marlene is getting a little worried, but Tris is refusing to get hooked up to an IV. Of course she is acting like she is fine. I swear sometimes you women just need to admit when you just can't do something."

"Whatever. She is just trying to stay strong. Like you, she likes to show she can handle anything." He lets out a little huff and wisely doesn't say anything back because he knows I am right.

I grab my phone and keys and we head out to the car. We get in to the SUV that we normally use without going to the office. I am assuming he had already stopped and picked them up.

"How was classes today? Any problems?" Him asking me about my day. This seems so normal and it is very welcoming.

"No not really. I have been taking over for Tris so much lately that I think they have learned not to mess with me. Although in a surprising twist, Skyler seems to be much more interested in doing well. I think what happened last week really put his future in prospective for him."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I graded some of his work earlier. I can't tell you how much it has improved and I think this week is the first time I ever seen him actually participate in an open discussion." A discussion he help start. I was completely shocked.

"Well I guess that is what we do all this work for. Maybe he will be one of the lucky ones that actually makes something of themselves."

He is holding back something. I can see the wheels turning in his head. "Stop acting like you don't care. I know you have been keeping an eye on him this week."

He huffs. "I guess he reminds me a little of myself. He obviously hasn't had the best upbringing, Maybe I think he deserves a second chance, and your right, I have noticed the change in him too."

I am surprised by such an admission but I do completely understand. I see the parallels that he is drawing and it makes sense. Crappy parents, getting into trouble as a form of self medication and it was this place that turned Eric around. Gave him something meaningful to work for. "Do you really think he will change?"

He shrugs. "I hope so but it is really up to him. I was lucky enough to have Max."

"Well with Harrison opening a new camp maybe he would be interested in taking him. Giving him a new start away from everything."

"Maybe, but he would really need to have a good second half of camp. He hasn't been terrible but he is sitting in the bottom half right now. We would need major improvement."

We get out of the car and head into the store. A few people look our way but most people don't bother. Going down the right aisle, I start looking for the best deal on Gatorade. "Did she say what flavor?"

"I have no idea. I'm in the mood for an energy drink you want one?"

"Yeah sure. What should I get Tris?" He starts walking down to the other end of the aisle where all the energy drinks are.

He looks back and shrugs. "I don't know, just grab something." Well that doesn't help me any. I just decide on a six-pack of light orange ones. Hopefully she likes this kind. I walk and meet Eric who has picked up a couple of Monster Zero's and we head to the checkout.

"Do you think six is enough?"

"If not, it just gives us a reason to leave camp to be by ourselves again." He gives me that adorable smirk love so much as he hands the money to the cashier and I pick up the bag from the counter.

"Yes, that would be great if we took advantage of that."

He takes the bag from me. "That could be arrange." He stops and in an uncharacteristic move, he grabs the back of my neck and gives me a deep passionate kiss.

"That sounds good to me." I say looking around to see a few people staring at us and I feel my face turn red. He laughs at me and grabs my hand as we head for the door.

Continuing to look around shyly I slow and stop as I complete another scan of front of the store. My eyes focus on the other side of the store. _This can't be real. There is no way._

"Dani babe, what's wrong?" I feel the tightening in my chest and my vision is cut off as Eric steps in front of me. "Hey, Hey!" My eyes focus on him for a fraction of a second before I take a step to the side focusing on the figure that was near the flower section, but no one is there now. _Did that really happen? Did I really just see who I thought I saw?_

I don't know how it is possible. My chest is getting heavier as my memory of visiting day flashes back into my head. That figure, I swear I saw the same person that day too. Just a flash in my vision. I had convinced myself it was all in my head.

"Dammit Dani, talk to me. Are you okay?"

 _Am I? Am I going crazy?_ Have I finally just snapped. I can't tell him, not now, not as things are finally starting to get back to normal. Just as we are beginning to be happy again and I go crazy and start seeing things. I try to take deep breaths to calm down as spots appear in my vision.

"I um, I am just dizzy. Maybe a little dehydrated too." I focus on breathing as the as I begin losing the battle. I lean against Eric almost unable to hold myself up anymore.

"Dani your freaking me out here."

"Just get me back to camp, please." He bends down slightly and grabs me under my arms and legs bridle style. I feel the rush as I am swooped up just as I fall into the darkness.

* * *

My eyes flutter open to the all to familiar sight of the infirmary at camp. _What the hell happened?_

"Hey, you okay? You scared the crap out of me." Eric says as he picks up my hand and sits on the edge of the bed.

I try hard to focus on what happened but it is fuzzy. I saw something, a person, someone I never thought I would see again. I can't tell him. I am still not even sure if I really saw what I think I saw. Maybe after all these years of bad shit happening, I am suffering from PTSD or something. Maybe it is all in my head and I am punishing myself for finally being happy, finally getting to have a semi-normal life. I don't want him to know that I am going crazy.

I look up to his eyes as he waits for an answer. "I, um, I'm not sure. I got really dizzy and then just passed out."

He bites on the inside of his cheek. "You mentioned you may have been dehydrated."

"Maybe. It was kind of weird." It really was, but not in the same way I am sure he is thinking.

"I had Marlene look you over and she said you seemed fine. Babe, I don't think you were dehydrated. It was like you were having a panic attack but I have never seen you react like that. It was like you were fine one minute and the next minute, you are pale white and your chest was heaving. What freaked you out like that?"

Damn he is good. I shake my head. "Nothing, I didn't see nothing. Like I said, I just felt weird all the sudden, but I am feeling much better now. What time I it? How long was I out?"

"It has only been thirty minutes." I see the doubt on his face. He isn't buying it.

I sit up and crawl into his lap. He told me not to long ago that he felt like he was my sanction, a place where I felt safe. He was right. In this moment, with this dread looming in the back of my mind, I want to be in his arms and I am grateful when he allows me to.

He wraps his arms around me and I bury my face in his chest. "Sorry I ruined such a perfect little outing. Maybe it was that amazing kiss that did it." I try to joke with him.

He pulls my chin up and looks into my eyes. "Are you sure your okay?"

Pulling his face down I give him a kiss on the lips trying to push away my horrible thoughts. "I'm fine. Please don't worry." I mumble on his lips. "We are alone again you know, right here, right now."

"Always so hungry." He kisses me and I moan into his mouth. When he pulls back he has a wicked look on his face. "Which is good because dinner has already started and you need to eat."

"Really?" I whine.

"Really. You just passed out, now I am going to make sure you eat and drink a proper meal."

 _Great._ That just completely backfired on me. He stands up and puts me on my feet, making sure I am steady before letting me go. He takes my hand leading me out of the room, but I can't help that nagging feeling in the back of my mind.

* * *

 **How did you like it? Any guesses on what is going on? I can't wait to get started on the next chapter. Please review and let me know what you think. Thoughts and comments are always welcome. Until next time!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey Everyone. I am back with another chapter for you. It is a few days later because this weekend was our yearly camping trip. One year ago I was camping out at Moses Lake when inspiration hit me and I started writing this book. Less than two months later the first book was done (I hope you can forgive all the grammer errors, I know there was a lot) and a year later I am in the middle of writting the third book. This year we camped out at Lake Easton which is right next to Cle Elum where these books are set. It was amazing being up there and being back out in the nature. I really do love it out there which I hope you guys feel from these books. I have some pictures I will be sharing on my tumblr account over the next few chapters. Hope you guys enjoy them and I hope you enjoy the new chapter.**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter** **9**

 _(S_ _un_ _day, January_ _31_ _st_ _)_

I jump up to pounding on the door. _What the hell?_ I run over to the door and throw it open to find Chris freaking out. She only speaks in single words repeating 'Marlene' and 'Tris'. My stomach drops as I look over to see Marlene already throwing on her pants.

Tris has been sick for over a week. She started to feel better on Monday but then two days later she started throwing up again. By Thursday, Max made her go to the clinic in town but they said she was okay other than being a little dehydrated. They even monitored the baby for a few hours to make sure he was okay. The doctor concluded she had a bad case of the flu, giving her strict instructions to stay hydrated and stay in bed until she could keep food down.

She managed to go all day yesterday without getting sick and even ate some soup. I thought maybe she was past the worst of it. Apparently I was wrong. _God_ _I hope she is okay!_

Marlene bolts out the door but stops as I follow and turns to me. "Wait! I need you to go get Max and then quietly get Four. Please don't freak him out. Just tell him he needs to come now. I don't need him being a menace but whatever is wrong I am sure she needs him there. Okay?" I nod my head and take off to Max's cabin.

I pound on his door probably making him jump out of bed the same way I did. He answers the door quickly and I look away as I notice he is in nothing more than a pair of boxers. "Dani? What's wrong?" He prompts when I don't speak right away.

"Um...yeah, there is something wrong with Tris."

"What do mean something is wrong?" He grabs my shoulders forcing me to look up at him. His eyes get large and full of worry. I mentally kick myself realizing I have a job to do and being an emotional idiot isn't one of them. I need to get a hold of my emotions here.

I take a deep breath and square my shoulders. "I'm not sure what it is. Chris woke us up and was so panicked she couldn't talk." Max turns away as I begin to speak rummaging through his things. I turn my head to stare at the door jam when I realize he is putting on pants but continue explaining. "Marlene asked me to come get you and then to go get Four."

"Good. Go get him quickly. I want Eric, Zeke and Paul up too just in case. Zeke and Paulo are to stay in the dorm and watch the cadets. You and Eric get Harrison and meet me at Tris's cabin as fast as you can. Can you do all that?"

"Yes sir." I tell him as he comes out the door with his shirt in hand.

"Good then go quickly and for heaven sake stay calm. I don't need a panic on my hands."

"You got it boss." I run off quickly heading for the dorms. Thanks to my fit form it only takes a few seconds to get there. I run up the stairs two at a time and flip the light on as I go through the door. Eric sits up immediately but I ignore is confused look and run straight for Fours bunk shaking him awake.

It only takes a second for him to wake up giving me the same confused look Eric gave me. Obviously it isn't my face he usually wakes up too. "Four I need you to stay calm do you understand me." My emotions are under much more restraint this time.

He goes to talk but I cut him off. "Just get some pants on and go to Tris's cabin as quick as possible. She is okay but you need to go now. She needs you." I really don't know how true that is but I don't want him to panic.

He jumps up and I quickly turn to Zeke and Paulo who are already awake from the commotion. "Zeke and Paulo you need to stay here and watch the cadets. Max's orders." Eric appears by my side dressed. Four takes off out the door and I follow him as Eric follows me.

"Eric." I say as we get outside and I head back toward the other end of the row of staff cabins. Thankfully Eric gets the point to follow me.

"What's going on?" He ask quietly.

"I don't know anything other than there is something wrong with Tris."

"Where are we going?"

"Max asked me to get Harrison." Which is almost pointless in saying since I say it just as we come upon his cabin's front door. Again I am banging on another door waking someone up in the dead of night which reminds me that I don't even know what time it is. Glancing at my watch I see it is almost three thirty in the morning, but I have no time to process it as Harrison opens the door in his boxer briefs. _Geez. Do these guys all sleep in their underwear?_ Not that I mind seeing Eric in his.

I don't have time to say a word as Eric steps in front of me blocking my view of yet another near naked man. "Harrison, get on some pants and meet Max at Tris's cabin." He tells him and I try not to smile at his clipped tone. Grabbing my wrist, Eric quickly pulls me away and toward our final destination before Harrison can ask questions.

When we reach the door I can hear Tris moaning softly inside. Eric stops but I continue inside. Max is standing there seemingly waiting for something. While Marlene is feeling around Tris's stomach and looking at her watch. Four is holding Tris's hand, looking like he is going to explode any minute while Chris sits impatiently on the couch, her leg bouncing so fast it looks like it is going to fly off..

"Marlene?" Max ask impatiently.

Marlene shakes her head and lays out the situation. "She is running a fever and she is labor, but the baby's heart beat is strong." She looks up at him. "We need an ambulance."

Without saying it, her face told the seriousness of the situation. Max gets it immediately and shouts. "Eric."

"On it..." Eric volleys back obviously listening in on what is transpiring in the cabin.

"Labor! What do you mean labor? She isn't due for another ten weeks." Four shrieks.

"The contractions are strong and consistent..." Tris moans painfully, grabbing Four's arm tightly. "Crap, they are too close together. Everyone except Four out now. I need to check her." She jumps up pushing us out quickly but we don't go more then a step out of the door.

Eric is already calling the hospital and explains the situation. "Fifteen minutes." He says quickly to Max. _How is he so damn calm?_

I really want everything to be okay but I have a bad feeling in my stomach. "DANI!" I hear Marlene yell and I quickly run back in the room.

"There is no time, listen carefully." She puts up her fingers and starts counting off as she says them. "I need clean towels, warming packs, clamps, scissors, and oxygen tank with the smallest mask they can find. I need you to stay and help me." Incredibly I the meaning of her words and short clipped tone and I react before the full implications can cross my mind. Running back out and I start spouting off orders for the guys and Chris to gather the things Marlene needs before going back inside.

"Hurry. Wash your hands really good. This baby is coming now." Tris whimpers again as Four whispers in her ear.

"It's too early." I say stupidly out loud as I quickly wash my hands. _We all already know that._

"Well this baby doesn't care and I am counting on you to help me. Tris doesn't want the guys in here and Chris isn't reliable in these types of situations." She has already grabbed the few towels from the bathroom and put them under Tris. She is giving Four instructions to lay behind her head and proper her up when I turn back to see what she wants me to do.

"Dani, I need you to assist me. As soon as he comes out we need to get him oxygen and get him warm. He is extremely premature..."

"Can't we wait for an ambulance?" Four says cutting her off.

"NO FOUR! He's crowning!" I don't know what that means but it makes me realize she hasn't moved an inch. She has been right in front of Tris the whole time. I haven't seen her hands once. "That's it Tris, short labored breaths. Just for another minute. You can do it."

I am about to ask what 'crowning means when banging at the door makes me jump and I quickly open it just to have Max and Harrison barge in with their arms full of towels and warm packs. Max tries to hand it to me but I motion them to put it all on the table. Marlene tells them to wait outside. As I am closing the door, Eric comes in with the oxygen tank and medical supplies.

"Crap. Dani I need some more towels, her water just broke. Eric start breaking those warm packs and put them between two towels." I grab several towels and take them over to her.

"Put them under my hands." I spread several of them out just as she said and I see for the first time the top of the baby's head that Marlene appears to be holding in. "Alright Tris, on the next contraction you can finally push. Your going to grab the back of your knees and pull them toward you while you bear down. Dani, help her."

"But it's too early, he can't come yet." Tris says like she didn't realize her labor was this far along.

"Tris, this is going to happen and I need you to be strong and help me help your baby okay. Now ready." Marlene puts a hand on Tris's stomach. Tris looks terrified but she shakes her head and I am a little afraid that Four is about to pass out.

"Eric, don't leave just yet." She tells him as he lays the towels with the warm packs at the end of the bed. She must see the same thing as she looks up at Four. "Get that mask hooked to the oxygen tank and turn it on." She says quickly.

"Alright Tris. Here we go." Tris face scrunches up and she moans as she pushes. I help her pull her legs back. As odd as it sounds I cannot look away from what is going on. I am completely entranced. "Again Tris, I need another really good push. He is almost here." Marlene's far away voice comes through and a second later a small, thin baby slips out into her hands. The room is completely silent.

Marlene quickly grabs a suction bulb and starts cleaning out his mouth and nose but he doesn't cry. Grabbing a towel, she starts rubbing the baby all over, coaxing him in a soft quiet voice to breath but he doesn't cry. When he still doesn't breath she flicks his tiny feet and rubs his back again. I feel a tear fall down my cheek as I stand there for what feels like eternity. _Come on little one._

A large strong hands engulfs my closed fists that are now at my sides and my legs feel like jelly. He is so tiny, so little and I know that color is not normal. _Breath baby, please breath!_

"Please..." Tris's soft voice fills the room and a second later a small noise comes from the small person in Marlene's hands.

"That's right buddy. Keep it up." Marlene encourages him excitedly as everyone in the room seems to let out the breath we were all holding. "Eric, the oxygen." Marlene says. "Dani, get the warmed towels."

I scoop up the laid out towels in my arms and turn to Marlene. She nods for me to move my arms closer and as I do, she place the tiny little boy onto the towels and quickly covers him up as she continues to rub his back.

I can't breath again. I have a tiny little person lying in my arms. _I'm holding a baby that was just born into this crazy world._

I barley notice Marlene clamping off the umbilical cord and having Four cut it. My heart literally feels like it is warming up inside my chest. It is the most amazing thing I have ever felt.

Once the baby is free, as much as I don't want to move, I know someone else wants him more so I lay him on her chest. "Keep rubbing his back Tris. Keep him stimulated." Marlene tells her as she sets the mask next to his face. It is almost the size of his whole face.

"Why isn't he crying?" Tris ask full of worry. He is making small sounds but hasn't fully let out a loud cry.

"His lungs aren't fully developed but he is breathing and that is what matters."

I finally hear the sirens of the ambulance right as several firefighters come through the door. They sound like they are almost here so I must have been tuning them out before. I move back into the corner to let them have more room as Marlene starts to explain the situation.

Somehow, I back right into Eric's chest and he wraps his arms around me which is good because I am feeling a little weak in the knees. _I can't believe I witnessed that._

"That was amazing." I whisper and I feel Eric kiss the top of my head. He is silent for once having nothing to say.

As soon as Marlene finishes delivering the afterbirth the EMTs quickly load both Tris and the baby on a stretcher and haul her out of the room whispering they need to get the baby intubated. We all softly give our congratulations as they exit with Marlene and Four in tow. The words of the EMTs really worry me but at least I am confident that they have the proper tools to take care of the baby from here. I still cannot believe I witnessed that. What a beautiful and heart clinching experience.

Max gives orders to Eric and Harrison, saying that he will be going to the hospital. Then they all start to clear out. Chris goes to the guy's dorm to fill them in on what happened, while Harrison takes off somewhere else, leaving just me and Eric. I am feeling way to amped up to go back to my cabin. I look at Tris's bed; it's a mess.

I walk over to the bed and start to strip off all of the blankets and sheets. Once I get it all off including the pillow cases, I tie them all inside the sheet. As soon as I finish, Eric is there with clean sheets and we quietly put fresh sheets on her bed. He doesn't say anything but there is something on his mind. His eyes seem so far away and I am not sure I should interrupt his thought process, but after a minute I decide on just letting him mull things out in his head.

When we finish, he comes around and picks up the bundle of bedding. He grabs my hand and pulls me out of the cabin, walking toward the laundry building. The silence between us isn't uncomfortable, it is actually the opposite. The air is cool and crisp and we both watch the stars as we walk hand in hand.

* * *

"Hey princess." Eric whispers in my ear. Somehow I fell asleep in his arms when we finally got back to my cabin but the clock shows it hasn't been more than an hour. "Come on. I need you to help with P.T this morning since Four's gone."

"Ugg! Can't Jeff help you? It's his job." I whine. I feel so drained right now.

"He could, but I would rather look at you." He says and even though I don't see his face, I can see the smirk on his face. He nuzzles my neck when I don't say anything. "Please." He says with a sexy soft voice.

I don't want to but who can refuse that. "Fine. But you owe me."

"And I look forward to repaying you." He says with one more quick kiss to my head. Lord please tell me why I fell for someone so 'awake' in the morning. Dragging myself out of bed I search for my clothes just to see he has already laid them out at the end of the bed. I turn to stare at him and he gives me a knowing look before walking out of the cabin to go wake up the cadets.

That man is going to be the death of me. Death; maybe the wrong word to use today after what happened just a few hours ago. I am really anxious to know how everything is going with Tris and the baby motivating me to hurry up and get ready so I can talk to Eric more before we start. I know he has already talked to Max.

I throw on my clothes and my jacket and head outside. Slowing down a bit, noticing there is no cloud cover. Hopefully it will be a nice day. The snow is pretty much all gone around camp and the green has returned.

Eric is on stage so I jog over to him and easily jump up on the stage from the front instead of walking around to the stairs. "Good morning sleepy head." He says with a grin.

"Keep laughing buddy." I sneer. "So what did Max say? How is Tris?"

"How do you know I talked to Max?" He raises an eyebrow at me but I glare at him and he drops the act. "Tris is doing good and she was sleeping when I talked to him. The baby is doing better too. They have him on a ventilator because his lungs are underdeveloped but they say it is normal with how premature he is. He isn't completely out of the woods but the doctors say he is looking good. Do you want to see him later?"

"We can go?" My heart is jumping at the opportunity to see him again.

"Max says we can go in groups of two. So as long as you want to wait until later when I can go then yes, we can go. Or if you want, you can go with someone else."

 _Geez, that pouting face_ _is priceless_ _._ "Of course I will wait for you. When are we going?"

"Around dinner. Actually I need to meet with you and Jeff this morning. You both will be stepping in sooner than expected and while you have been covering a lot anyway, Jeff hasn't. He is going to have to get moved into the instructor dorms today and take over classes starting Monday."

 _Wow._ I haven't even really had time to think about that. We have about six weeks left still and now Jeff and I are a bigger part of that. I feel like I am ready to take over fully for Tris but I still feel like I am a bit outside of myself. Like its not me standing in front of those kids. It's a little crazy and even makes me a little nervous.

"Hey." Eric draws my attention back to him. "You both will do great. Stop worrying about it."

"I'm not worrying." I sulk. I wish he didn't read me so well.

"Yes you are. I know you." He pulls my chin up so I have to look at him. "You are ready for this and you will do great as always. Your a natural at it."

"Thanks babe."

The recruits start coming out. "Stay here, I want you to help lead P.T. today." _Huh. That's different._ He steps forward and we wait for everyone to file in.

When every gets into position Eric gives a short explanation of what happened in the early morning hours and the changes that the cadets can expect. After his speech, he backs up so we are side by side and he begins our workout.

I really like the fact that we are leading together today. It makes me feel like things are suppose to be this way. It feels normal.

* * *

Sitting on the bed, I finally finish the prep work for tomorrows lesson. It has taken me the better part of the day to get it done. Jeff and I met with Eric after breakfast and he explained how we were going to run things going forward. Like Eric said before, not too much change for me but Jeff is making a huge leap moving into Fours position.

Things are going to start getting hectic for me too now that I have to balance out school and work again. Before when Tris was just sick and I was filling in, she gave me everything that I needed. Now there is much more prep work that I have to do and it isn't something she really worked with me on so I am just trying to go with the flow with the information I already have.

"I'm heading out. I will be back in an hour or so." Marlene says as she walks out the door.

Her and Paulo were going to head over to the hospital before visiting hours are up. Eric and I just got back after dinner. It was so amazing to see the baby again. Tris and Four decided to name him Sam. Not Samuel, just Sam and I think it is beautiful, just like him.

It was hard at first to see the wires and pumps he was hooked up to, but he was sleeping so peacefully under the blue lights. Even though he just laid there, I felt like I could watch him for hours. I stood there looking at him with Eric holding me from behind and thought up so many questions and fears of my own.

It wasn't that long ago that I thought Eric was proposing to me. I had thought at one point in time it was possible that we would also have a child. Granted the thoughts originally came because I was getting my shot, it made me realize the other things that could happen if that was a path we chose. _Life is so precious,_ _but my luck is terrible._

You never know if your body can handle going through labor. Tris is blaming herself for having the baby early and as much as I know it is stupid, I understand how she feels. Even though she really has no control, she thinks the early labor was brought on because her body wasn't strong enough. _What if I am not strong enough?_

These are just new fears that compile into my old ones. I don't' know if my body is strong enough for growing another life inside of me. Mentally am already drained and I'm not even pregnant. I don't know how I would be able to deal with something like that. I want to so much to be a perfect wife and perfect mother but in reality, I know I am far from perfect. In fact, I am royally screwed up. I suppose Eric's nickname is really fitting in that sense.

I look up as Eric walks in. "Hey. You okay?"

"Yeah. Just finished tomorrow's lesson. What's up?" I start putting all my paperwork back into the folder and Eric comes to sit beside me.

"Just wanted to check on you. Today has been a little crazy and you have been pretty quiet since we left the hospital."

"I'm fine." My notorious words flow trying to placate is concerns.

"I know. I just thought you could use a little time away." He runs his fingers down my arm and I close my eyes at the amazing tingling running through my arm.

"Away time?" I ask in an unsteady voice.

I feel his lips on my neck and he begins dragging them softly across the length of my jaw. "Yes. Away from reality." He whispers in my ear sending tingling all over my body. _The best thing I have heard in a long time._

* * *

 **Well I hoped you liked it. Let me know what you guys think! All reviews and comments are welcome. Again look for the pictures coming soon to tumblr. Until next time!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello Everyone. I finally got a new chapter for you. For those of you that didn't see, my OCD got to me so when I posted chapter 9 several weeks ago, I actually deleted the authors note I had posted and made it so chapter 9 showed up as chapter 9. So if you haven't done so, go back a chapter and read. As always, thank you so much for reading and Enjoy!**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter** **10**

 _(S_ _atur_ _day,_ _February_ _6_ _th_ _)_

"Max, it's not really necessary."

"I think it is. Dani you have been acting a little weird lately. Even for you." He pauses and back tracks a little. "I'm not saying your weird but you have always acted a little different than others. I know this is stressful for you and you have been through so much since we first met. Christian says you have been skipping your sessions because you have been busy which I understand, but I think you will benefit from sitting down and talking to him."

In a way I know he is right but I really have been busy and I don't have time. I have to work on next weeks lesson plans and I am still doing my classes online. There is just so much to be done and he wants me to drop it all so that I can sit down and 'talk to someone.'

"Would you rather talk to me?" He ask raising his eyebrow.

"No." _Not just no but hell no!_

"Well then the least you can do is to go since I have already paid for you to have weekly sessions with him."

 _Crap!_ He has a point. I already knew he paid a little more than normal so that the counseling sessions would cover me too. I had also promised Max I would go to them when he set up the arrangement but I didn't realize I was going to be doing all this other stuff.

"Good. I am glad you see things my way." My eyes shoot up to his but he has already went about going through things on his desk and it is clear there is no more arguing this. "That will be all Dani. You better hurry before you miss breakfast. I don't need Eric in here whining that your aren't eating."

My interest is peaked through my irritation. "Does he really do that?"

He looks up. "What do you think? It is rather annoying; so go and I will see you later."

I huff and turn around. "Fine." I leave the office and go out into the cool morning air.

It is cloudy but it isn't suppose to rain today, which means Eric and Jeff's cabins will be taking a hike this afternoon. I have been a little worried ever since Vincent and Charlie got into a fight earlier this week during a self defense class that Jeff and Harrison were leading.

The class was suppose to be Zeke and Jeff but Harrison wanted to help out so he took over while Zeke went and did some paperwork. Not the smartest thing in the world to leave them two alone with the class but leadership in this camp seems to have a sink or swim mentality and often just throw people into things.

Eric never really did tell me what the fight was about but he watched the video after the fact and only said that 'Jeff did good'. He seemed pretty confident about it but I was not convinced. Since Jeff is walking around with a bruised rib that he got trying to break up the fight, I am fairly certain they both played down the severity of it.

After a lot of thought, I realized the cadets were doing really well up until Four left. I think a few of them are pushing Jeff and Harrison a little just to see how much they can get away with. All that aside, I am glad he will be with Eric this afternoon. Jeff can take care of himself but Eric is more experienced around here and he knows how to handle things when there are 'incidences'. It's just one less thing I have to worry about.

 _Worr_ _y.._ _._

Something I have been doing a lot these days. I really thought things were going to get easier for me, but it is like as soon as I finish something, or find a way to put a problem behind me, something new pops up in its place. I have so much on my plate these days, it has my mind running a thousand miles an hour.

Trying to teach kids, while I am still trying to finish school myself is a whole basket of headaches all in it self. I have been helping Tris out teaching the kids for the last few weeks but she had already put everything together. Now I just have outlined lesson plans to work from and have to put everything else together myself. There is so much more than just standing in front of the kids and talking.

Tris was the type of teacher that actually showed she had an interest in what she teaches. She never just gave out information for the cadets to copy down or give chapters and expect the cadets to do their homework without direction. I had teachers like that in school and I learned absolutely nothing in those classes.

No, Tris was always very animated, walking around the room, talking and answering questions, wanting the cadets to actually interact. I think that is why I did so well in her classes. She managed to get us interested in what we were learning and made sure we were all involved. Now I have to do that because I am not going to be one of those teachers that I hated in school.

Tris offered to Skype for a few hours to help me with the lessons but I told her 'no' and said 'I could handle it'. She needs to be with her baby and focus on getting better herself. The day after she got to the hospital, they told her she had developed pneumonia. I felt so bad for her. With the baby being so early, she had enough to worry about. It is as if my luck is rubbing off on her.

Eric and I visited for a little while yesterday and got to see the baby. He is so small still and it was hard to see him hooked up to a bunch of wires and tubes. The doctors said his lungs were underdeveloped so they have a breathing tube in helping him breath which he will likely have to keep in for a few more weeks until he can breath on his own.

Even though he looks so small and helpless, he is so strong just to make it at such a premature age. He will definitely be a fighter. I sat next to her incubator for almost an hour just watching him and rubbing his little arm. _So precious._

There have been other things on my mind too. I have tried to shake it, but it just won't go away. Searching through my mind over and over again, trying to decided if what happen a few weeks ago, actually happened. I am torn between which reality is true. Neither one makes me feel any better.

On one hand I am crazy and on the other hand, well, it is just frightening to consider. I have also been struggling with the fact that if I am not crazy, it only took a blink of an eye to lose everything I have done and built up. It literally took a blink of an eye to go from being completely fine, to being that frightened little girl again.

So far I have leaned more to being crazy because the possibility of even seeing him under these circumstances has to be a one in a trillion chance. Which brings me to the reason why I am so afraid to talk to Eric about it. I try my best to not worry about it around him because he notices more than most people, but it has been a losing battle.

Anytime I hear a strange or loud noise, it startles the crap out of me and I am constantly looking over my should just to see nothing there. I have become paranoid all over again, which in turn has made my other reaction change. The other day I actually flinched at Eric's touch and then instantly regretted it when I saw the look on his face. I hadn't meant to, but I had again drifted off into my own world debating all the crazy shit going on in my life when he ran his fingers down my arm to get my attention.

Jeff tried to talk to me about it a few days ago too but I asked him to back off that it is nothing and he did. Unfortunately Eric isn't so easy to shake. Not to mention it was completely ridiculous and uncalled for to get Christian and Max involved. He is making me feel like an errant child again. I am sure he will try to tell me he is just looking out for me but it still isn't right.

I try to keep my cool as I walk into the mess hall to get some food. Everyone is already there eating and the fact that Eric didn't look up at me when I walked in gives me the impression he knew exactly why I was late which only infuriates me more. He is being completely unreasonable.

I quickly get myself a small plate of food now that I have lost my appetite. I am not hungry, but I am not going to give Eric anything to complain about so I get just enough as to be considered acceptable and sit down next to him leaving a usual amount of space between us.

"Good morning." His timid tone is more confirmation that he knows exactly why I am so frustrated.

"I don't know about the 'good' part but it is morning." He presses his lips in a thin line but doesn't look up at me. "I take it from you lack of response and no questioning to why I am late that you know exactly why I am late." Again silence.

"Seriously Eric. What the hell?" I say a little louder than I mean to pulling a small reaction out of him as he looks around to see who is paying attention to us.

"Dani, can we talk about this later when there aren't so many prying ears around?"

"Later? What for? You obviously can talk to Max about your concerns before you even bother to talk to me. Why not let everyone else know as well?" Marlene and Paulo are staring at me in obvious shock that I am talking to Eric so forcefully, but at this point I don't care. Besides it isn't the first time.

"Dani, please." He pleads pausing my anger and giving me a second to second to think clearly.

 _Calm down Dani._ I take a deep breath trying to slow my rushing blood. "What fucking ever. Forget it." I say quietly and put my head down to force some food into my body. I hope he knows it wasn't that sweet pleading voice that is making me give in. I just don't want to fight with him on this right now because he is right, there are a lot of other people within earshot.

"Dani?"

"I said forget it." I drop my fork mid-bite and glare at him.

"Alright, alright." With a heavy sigh he turns back to his plate and starts eating again, focusing way to hard on his food.

When I am sure he isn't going to say anything else, I hurry and eat my small plate of food. Once I am finished, I don't bother saying anything to anyone including him, I just get up and leave. Even though I was the last one to get there, I am still the first to leave.

Today has been exhausting already and I have barely finished breakfast.

* * *

Somehow I have managed to get through classes today without snapping at anyone. My morning really put a damper on my emotions and I've to try hard not to take it out on the cadets. It isn't their fault that people around here are too nosy and can't just let me be.

What is irritating me even more is that Eric didn't stop at just talking to Max. He also talked to Paulo about it. From what I understand from everyone else, he has always been a private person himself, but it appears my privacy is not a factor in his mind because he doesn't seem to be extending the same courtesy to me. I wonder how he would feel if I did the same thing to him; he probably would be just as upset as me.

Although Paulo didn't outright say it, him coming in earlier between classes and asking 'how I am doing', gave it away pretty clearly. He never just drops by to see how I am doing and when he said Eric is just really worried about me, I literally pushed him out the door. His pleas to me to cut off when I shut the door in his face.

Like Eric, I like my privacy too. Maybe I am a little more edgy lately but it just makes it worse that everyone is making a big deal about it. _Who cares if I am moody?_ Chris is worse than me and no one bothers her about her attitude.

The door quietly creeks open getting my attention and Eric walks in. He gives me a half smile as he walks over and gives me a kiss on my cheek. He says 'hi' in a voice that is low and guarded like he is testing the waters. _Let me answer your unasked question!_

I ignore him and turn around to start erasing today's lesson notes off the white board. It takes a moment but he eventually presses himself against my back and wraps his arms around my stomach. _God I love when he does that!_

I refuse to give in so easily and I keep erasing the board. More determined, he pulls my hair from around my neck and starts placing kisses on my neck. _Damn that feels good._ Internally growling at myself for my weakness, my hand slowly comes to a stop and I close my eyes soaking up the warmth radiating from his body as he continues.

"It's only because I care about you babe. I'm worried. I admit I should have talk to you first, but please don't be mad at me. I hate when your mad at me." With a heavy sigh, my hand drops and I lean back into him relaxing my body. Just feeling him against me helps bleed away some of my irritation, anger and frustration.

"It would be nice if you would keep everyone else out of it next time. I value my privacy too you know." I mutter quietly. I feel him nod and it seems to be enough for both of us at this point in time. We stand there for a while holding each other as he occasionally places soft kisses on my neck.

Finally he turns me so he can look in my eyes. "So do you want to talk about what is bothering you so much?"

I let out a chuckle. "Well, now that I have to talk to Christian tomorrow, I think I will just wait." I say sarcastically.

"You just said to ask you."

"I said next time. Now that you had to get everyone else involved I have to talk to a shrink and I really don't feel like repeating myself." I also am a little worried about how to tell him some of the things that have been going through my mind.

He glares at me. "Don't even, this is your fault, not mine." I say as I put the last of my things on the desk away. "Come on, lets go eat dinner."

"That is the first reasonable thing you have said today." He grabs my hand. "Lets go."

* * *

"You needed me Max?"

"Yeah, can you run into town for me please?"

"Sure Max. What do you need."

"I need you to pickup some certified mail that is being held over at the post office. I need those contracts for our meeting in Seattle. I would go myself but the post office closes in twenty minutes and I have to get this stuff done before I have to leave to go to meet up with Tori and Harrison."

With my mind being everywhere else all day, I almost forgot they were all going to be gone for the night. They have some important meeting with the Chicago investors who are flying into Seattle. Tori and Harrison left this morning to make sure the investors make it and to greet them at the hotel. "I know you are busy but I don't trust Uriah to pick them up and everyone else is busy." He doesn't seem all together happy with me having to go. I would bet a hundred dollars Eric and our conversation this morning has something to do with that.

"It's fine Max. I got this." It's running into town, it's not rocket science.

"Thanks." He gives me the slip of paper with the information on it and hands me the keys to the SUV as he gives me instructions to pick up the camp mail too.

I have never been to the post office in town but I have seen the sign for it a couple of times, I just have to remember where. Everything in this town is on Main Street so all I have to do is drive down it to find what I am looking for. I don't bother to tell Eric I am leaving. It should only take me a few minutes and I doubt anyone will know I even left.

I head for town trying to remember where I have seen the post office. If I remember correctly it was somewhere in the middle. Thankfully, the speed limit is only twenty-five miles an hour so I can easily look as I drive. I spot it on the opposite side of the street across the street from the Dairy Queen and I flip around and park in front of it.

Grabbing the paper Max gave me I go inside and am totally blown away. It is nice inside like any other post office but this one is almost empty. Living in Chicago, there is a minimum thirty minute wait anytime you go. I grab the mail out of our box that Max asked me to get also and then wait in line for the one person in line to finish. It takes less than three minutes to get the certified letter, that has to be some kind of record.

The lady behind the counter was extremely nice. She didn't look at me like some little hooligan or trouble maker, she just smiled politely and asked if I was new working up at the camp. It still is odd knowing everyone in this town knows everyone. It's even more odd for people to just be openly nice to me.

I walk out of the post office and head to the car when I hear my name. Looking up my eyes find a familiar figure across the street and I freeze. _Not again!_

I close my eyes tight praying it is all in my head. _Go away!_ It only takes a second before his hands are around my arms. "No!" I yell, spinning around as I stubble back almost tripping over my own feet until I slam back up against the SUV.

"Dani. Hey, hey are you okay." My eyes fly open to see Casey. "Chill out it's just me, Casey, you know Eric's friend that has the cabin. What's wrong?" Ignoring him I turn back around, looking across the street, but he is gone again. I have to be going crazy. _What the fuck?_

"Dani?" I turn to Casey, worry etched on his face. "Should I call Eric or something?"

Hearing Eric's name is enough to get my thoughts focused. "No, no. I'm fine. I just thought I saw something." I glance over my shoulder again but still nothing. I work on trying to get my breathing under control as heaviness still sits in my chest.

"I'm sorry I startled you. Eric has warned me about doing that." He lets out an akward laugh. "I was just walking and thought that was you. I don't think I have ever seen you around without Eric attached to your side. How are you?"

"I'm good thank you. I was just picking up something important for Max at the post office." Thankfully this gives me my out. "I actually was just on my way back. He is waiting for me and he's in a bit of a hurry."

"Oh, well sorry. I don't want to keep you. I know how business trips can be." I look up to him in shock.

"How do you know he is going on a business trip?" I question. He smiles and puts his hand out jesturing for us to walk around to the driver side of the car.

"I already talked to Eric today. We normally hang out when I am in town but he said Max and Tori were leaving for the night so he had to stay at camp." He opens my door for me and I slide into the driver seat.

"Oh." I say simply. I guess that makes sense.

"Are you sure your okay? You're still really pale. I can drive you back if you want." He looks down to my hands that are still shaking and I clasp them together quickly to hide it.

"Like I said, you just caught me off guard. I am sure Eric has told you I get a little jumpy when people touch me. I'm okay." As much as I hate it, it is giving me a pretty good cover at this point.

"Okay. Well it was nice to see you. I hope you and Eric can come hang out sometime soon."

"Sure I will make sure we do. See you later." He smiles and closes the door, lingering for a moment before he walks around the car back to the side walk and continues on his way.

I can't help but look one more time across the street just to find there is no one there I recognize. "Fuck, what the hell is wrong with me!" I yell to myself.

An older couple passing the car stare at me startled. _Crap!_ Now I really am crazy yelling at myself.I take several deep breathes to calm me down and try to shake off the creepy feeling I have.

After a minute I mostly feel better but not entirely. I just need to get back to camp. Starting up the SUV, I quickly pull out and head back being careful not to speed.

The closer I get to camp the less freaked out I feel, but I still feel like I have just finished a ten mile run. Now I know I have gone completely crazy, right over the deep end. There is no way I saw him. It was only a few seconds from the time I closed my eyes, it isn't like he can just disappear. This isn't some kind of fucked up fairytale where the villain has magic powers. This is real life and it is obvious that I am cracking under all the pressure I have on me. _Why does this have to happen to me now?_

As I pull into the camp Eric is standing out front with his hands in his pocket and an irritated look on his face. _Great!_ I can only hope that he is standing out here like this because I didn't tell him I was leaving and he is upset that Max sent me alone.

I pull into the parking spot and grab Max's mail which I am only now realizing I threw onto the seat next to me without any thought. I don't even remember doing it. I take a deep breath pulling myself together and get out to face Eric.

I plaster a smile on my face as I walk up to him and give him a quick kiss. "Hey, you didn't have to wait out here for me. I just had to run and pickup something…." He puts his finger over my mouth cutting off my words. Things are clearly not okay and he isn't just standing out here to greet me. Not that I actually thought that or anything.

He takes a moment to compose himself. "What the hell happened? And don't lie, I just got off the phone with Casey."

 _Shit._ Of course I am not that lucky. "He startled me." It isn't a lie, he really did and why is it my stupid damn luck that I ran into someone that knows Eric. _Urgh!_

"Bullshit." He growls at me, grabbing my arm. _Whoa! Upset, very upset!_ "If that was it then you would have just hit him, not freak out like you were scared shitless to the point my friend nearly didn't let you drive back alone. Now tell me what happened? Is it the same thing that happened a few weeks ago? What the hell is going on with you?" His hand has tightened almost painfully.

I don't know what to say. I can't tell him that I am going crazy, I just can't. "Eric, Dani, is there a problem?" We both turn to see Max and Eric drops his hand to his side quickly. I almost rub my arm from where Eric was holding it but I don't want Max to be anymore concerned then he already looks.

"No." I say quickly. I don't want him in this too. "I just got back and I was just coming to find you. Sorry if it took too long."

He is looking back and forth between Eric and I. "No actually you weren't gone long at all. I was just coming to find Eric. I need to speak to you for a moment before I leave Eric."

It isn't really a request and I can see the wheels turning in Eric's head. He is not ready for this conversation to be over but he really can't tell Max no. "We aren't done. I will catch up with you in a few minutes."

Here we go again, treating me like an errant child. I shake my head at him. "You know what? Don't bother, I have stuff to get done and thanks to you have another appointment on top of all the other shit I have to get done by Monday. As far as I am concerned I don't have time for anything else until tomorrow night." I hiss trying to keep it low enough Max doesn't hear me.

He sighs and his intensity comes down a few notches at my blatant anger toward him. "Dani..." He says softer but still with obvious frustration.

"I said tomorrow. Now if you will excuse me I have stuff to get done. Good night." I walk past him toward my cabin, only pausing to hand Max his mail.

"Thank you." He says as I pass. "Everything okay?"

I only nod and keep walking. There is no real reason why I should be so upset right now. He is just worried about me and I understand that but it just makes me so mad. Not at him but at me. It's not fair that I am taking out on him but I can't help it.

I want so much to just tell him but when I see him I just can't. He wants answers and I want nothing more than to forget it. Unfortunately I know that isn't likely to happen on its own and now I have to face it because there is no way Christian is just going to give in. If I walk out of his office, his first stop will be Max's office. Yet another person I don't need to know I am going crazy.

I let out a heavy sigh. _How the hell am I going to fix this?_

* * *

 **Hope you guys enjoyed it. Like always, I love you guys for sticking with this story and I really hope you like where it is going. Please let me know your thoughts on the chapter.**

 **If you haven't read already, I am going to be turning this series into an original story. I want you guys to know, I will be finishing this book. You all have been the ones sticking with me through this and I don't want you guys to feel like I left you hanging. I want my fans to be happy. So I better get on with the next chapter. Hope you guys enjoyed this one. Until next time!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello Everyone. I have another chapter for you lovely people. Although it took longer than I wanted (sorry, it is football season), I really like how it turned out. I hope you enoy it.**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter** **1** **1**

 _(Sunday,_ _February_ _7_ _th_ _)_

I nearly fall out of bed at the loud noise screeching in the room.

" _Code red, all cadets remain in the dorm. Camp is on lock down until further notice. Code red, all cadets remain in the dorm. Camp is on lock down until further notice."_

I jump up and start throwing on the first thing I grab out of my drawers. This feels eerily familiar and I know right away what's going on because this happened when I was a cadet. Although, I am on the other side of things now.

There is a cadet 'off grid' meaning someone managed to get their bracelet off without activating it. My memory recalls that all staff members are suppose to meet in front of the cadets dorm immediately. In the few seconds it take me to get ready, Marlene is ready just as quick and we grab our jackets and run outside.

Somehow several of the guys are already out there and we are joined by mostly everyone else by the time we reached the group where Eric is already shouting out commands.

"Jeff is on dorm duty. Uriah, Zeke, Paulo your with me. Marlene prep the infirmary and call Max to let him know what's going on. Vincent is off grid and you all know we only have a short amount of time to find him. I want this done and done right."

"We're short people." Paulo quips looking around our circle.

"Yes I am aware Paulo. Will…."

"On it!" Will says quickly and takes off toward the front buildings.

He turns to me. "Chris and Dani," He quickly scan the foreground, then the woods like he is trying to make up his mind about something before his eyes finally find mine. "I need you two to do a quick but thorough check of the immediate area. Stay within the main camp and check inside, around and on top of all buildings. When you are done, get to the control room and help Will. Please, be careful and watch each others backs." His eyes bore into mine and I see the worry in them but he only hesitates for a moment longer before taking off toward the woods.

"Come on, this is my normal post. We got this." Chris says breaking my attention as I watch the guys run away from us. Turning, I follow as she start toward the instructors dorms.

"What does he mean by short people?" I ask as we run.

"Normally Max is with me. We have been through this many times and know exactly what do. You on the other hand are new and the one time we practice in our pre-camp week, we had more people. With the higher ups gone, Tris and Four still not here, it leaves the main search party two people shorter than normal and creates a weak front in the main camp because one of us is a rookie."

At least she is honest and it has taken me until now to realize that Max, Tori and Harrison are indeed gone. They are in Seattle on a business trip. That moment of hesitation in Eric's eyes, that was because of me. He was either debating on whether to pull me to go with them or debating the fact that he is leaving two girls, one whom is inexperienced, to sweep the main camp.

My mind is tugging at the first thought. I suppose only leaving one in camp wouldn't have been the smartest thing either even if Jeff and Will are nearby. Then again, maybe he didn't want me tramping around the woods in the dark when he is already worried about my mental state.

Well the least I can do is make sure we do it right in this moment, so I focus on what we were trained to do. After checking around the fire pit to make sure no one is hiding there, we start at the first building in the corner closest to the main dorm. Quickly checking each building, going in a counter clockwise motion, we only skipping over the cadets dorm and the infirmary which should have already been done by Jeff and Marlene.

When we finish, we still haven't gotten the all clear so we go to control room which is really just Will's office. It is pretty quiet as we walk in and Will is typing away, looking around his multi-screen setup. I walk behind him to see if I can make sense of any of it.

"Any word?" I ask as I see several dots on the screen with a map on it. He is tracking the guys as they search the woods.

"They are on his trail. He just tripped one of the sensors and they should hopefully have him soon." I watch as the dots start to converge to one area. "Don't worry, Eric is pretty good at tracking people. His attention to detail gives him a beg advantage."

My thoughts began to raise questions that have nothing to do with the present. "Are the censors on all the time?" It never occurred to me before now to ask about this.

He looks up to me and after a second, I see the understanding in his eyes before he turns back to the screens. "They are only turned on during emergencies to conserve power. You know because the animals would be setting them off all the time. Unfortunately, Lynn was privy to that information. She would have known how to avoid them."

In the next moment all the dots are suddenly in the same spot and not moving. I am not the only one that notices it and it only takes a millisecond for the room to become ice cold. We all stay completely silent for at least an entire minute, you could probably hear a pin drop. Finally Will's phone springs to life vibrating itself almost off the desk. Answering it, he nods several times but doesn't say anything before hanging it up again.

"They got him. They will be back in about ten minutes, he's unconscious. Dani, please go give Marlene a heads up and have her call it into Max to let him know the situation is under control."

I nod and head out the door to the infirmary, happy to get out and take a breath. It seems like everything just happened so quick, my mind hasn't had much time to process anything that just happened. Once outside, the cold helps slow the adrenaline rush and extremely tiredness washes over my body like a tidal wave. Looking at my watch for the first time I see it is only three in the morning, which means we only have slept a few hours.

We had headed back to our cabin around just after midnight after playing poker in the instructors dorm. It was so nice to have just a normal night, or what is considered normal around here. I put my issues with Eric aside for the night and spent most of the night sitting on his lap while he touched me every chance he got.

He ended the night in a pretty good mood too. I am sure part of it could have been my better attitude but I'm sure the seventy dollars he won helped too. Also with both Four and Harrison gone, he really didn't have much to complain about. My only wish was that I had a personal cabin so he could have spent the night with me. Our few times we manage to have alone time are just too scarce and short. I miss having him in bed beside me.

When I walk into the infirmary Marlene looked relieved but it only lasted the amount of time it took me to explain the situation. She tries to hide the look of dissatisfaction on her face before picking up her phone and calling Max. The 'unconscious' part obviously doesn't make her too happy and she oddly leaves out that part when explaining things to Max. I lean patiently against the wall and wait for the guys to get back while Marlene pulls out some additional supplies.

Thankfully I don't have to wait too long. Paulo walks in a few minutes later with Eric close behind him carrying Vincent over his shoulder. I am momentarily shocked by his appearance. He is dirty from head to toe, twigs and leaves litter his clothes as well. He goes right to the room and plops Vincent on the bed.

"Are you okay?" I ask letting my concern show more than I prefer.

He lets out a little huff. "I'm fine. That fucker is fast and doesn't listen. I had to tackle him to get him to stop."

"And he is unconscious why?" Marlene questions as she shines a light in his eye, moving the light up and down several times before checking the next.

"He hit his head on the hard ground. He regained consciousness once on our way back but he was still pretty out of it, just mumbled for a minute or two and passed out again. He's got a pretty good knot on the back of his head."

As if Vincent heard him, he starts to move around and his eyes flutter open. "Hey Vincent. Can you hear me?" She ask but he only moans instead of answering her. "Vincent open your eyes and look at me."

"Ugh, fuck you! Why is my head pounding like it went through a cement wall?"

"Watch how you talk to her or your head _will_ _be_ going through a cement wall. But while we are on the subject, you hit your head on the ground which is just as good as concrete this time of year." Only Paulo could start a sentence so angry and end it laughing.

Marlene examines the back of his head with several hisses escaping Vincent but he smartly says nothing else. "He looks like he will be okay. I will keep him for observation for a few hours and make sure he doesn't have a serious concussion, then you guys can have him."

"Good. We're looking forward to it." Eric says threatening. I already know how this will go and feel sorry for him already. "Paulo, come get me when he is ready and get Will over here to get another bracelet on him asap."

Paulo nods and Eric walks to the door, pausing once it's open and looks at me. I take the hit and follow him out. "Good luck Vincent." I say over my shoulder. "Your going to need it." A smile tugs at Eric's lips as he shuts the door behind us.

We walk for a minute before Eric finally speaks. "Mind if I lay with you for a while?"

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Maybe after a shower. I would prefer not to have a bunch of dirt in my bed." I pick something off his shirt. "Or pieces of a tree for that matter." I say lightly trying to put my point across without discouraging his thoughts because I would love nothing more that for him to come lay down with me.

It's enough to put another half smile on his face. "I have clothes in your dresser. I will just take a quick shower in your cabin. I miss sleeping with you next to me."

How could I deny that. "Alright."

We get inside and I immediately strip back down to my pajamas and crawl into bed before turning to see Eric watching me. "What?" I yawn.

"Nothing." He says as he grabs clean boxers out of my drawer. "I will be out in a few minutes."

I hear the water turn on and as much as I don't want it, my eyes force themselves shut.

* * *

"Hmmm." Strong familiar tighten around me and kisses feather my hair line. I absolutely love waking up this way.

"I got to get up babe."

My eyes fly open only to see a very dark room. I must have fell asleep. I push myself back against him and wrap my arms over his, holding him tight to me. "Shit Eric. I am sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"It's okay. I was just happy to get to catch a nap with you. Go back to sleep, I will set your alarm. You can skip P.T, but don't forget you need to help Uriah collect the laundry today before breakfast." He gives me one last kiss before crawling out of bed.

I am still too tired to argue that having that task sucks and that I hate laundry day. "Okay. I love you."

"I know babe." He says quietly. Satisfied, I pull the blankets tight to me and fall back asleep.

* * *

I have been dreading this all day. As crazy as the morning was, I knew my day was only going to drag on knowing I had to see Christian this afternoon and drag on is exactly what it did.

Even though I slept in and I had plenty to do today, it still seems to be lasting forever. Listening to Will going on and on about how Vincent shorted out his bracelet for the last hour hasn't helped either. Now I have to deal with this.

"It's about time you came and saw me." Christian gets up to greet me at the door.

Max insistence both yesterday and over the phone this morning which didn't leave much up for discussion. "It's not like I had much of a choice." I mutter as I shake his hand.

Giving him a tight smile, I move toward my normal seat on the couch in the corner. Thinking about it now, it is a little odd to have a couch and recliner sitting in the corner of a classroom. It just looks look out of place to me.

I suddenly shriek away from the sudden heaviness on my shoulder spinning around on my heels. Both Christian's hands immediately go up in front of him, palms facing me with a worried look on his face. Not just worry, but a hint of fear. After a moment, I quickly takes several deep breaths realizing there is no threat. _Calm down!_

Christian stares at me for another minute before lowering his hands. "I'm, uh, sorry." I mutter quickly moving toward the couch again. I don't want to look at his face. The fear that had shown on his face, no matter how brief is embarrassing. _Why can't I get a hold on this?_

"Nothing to apologize for, I startled you. It was my mistake for not being more careful with my actions."

The last few weeks, I have been slowly going back into my shell that I lived into for so long. As I sit I stare down at my fidgeting hands that are slowly kneading each other. I focus on my breathing and try to relax. It's Christian, no need to be so tense right now.

"It appears there has been a little set back." I chance a quick look up at him only to be disappointed that his expression shows clear irritation.

"Apparently." I whisper mostly to myself.

His tone lightens as he begins to speak again. "Regression is normal. It happens and there is nothing to be ashamed of. You have been doing great these last few months. It was only natural for there to be a hiccup. You of all people should know that nothing is ever perfect."

Of course he is right but this is hardly the first set back, and it seems to definitely to be the worst. None of which I blame on him. Christian has been nothing less than remarkable helping me. Makes me wonder a little to why he works here at all.

He is brilliant and probably has a much more prestigious practice then he leads on. I have thought on more than one occasion that this may be his charity work. Even though I know Max pays him decent, it is probably way under his normal charge. Not to mention having to drive up here every Sunday.

"Are you still with me?" He questions and I look at him dumbfounded. He must have been talking to me. Great now I am tuning him out, probably not inspiring much confidence.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" I ask trying to focus.

"I asked how things have been this week?" He asks again, calming, no judgment on his face at all.

"Mostly it was okay."

"Mostly?"

I bite my lip at his confidence in that one word and the no bull-shit expression he is currently wearing. I have not doubt he has already talked to Max. In fact, Max told me that much yesterday. What I am wondering is if he talked to Eric too. I wouldn't go as far as to say him and Eric were close friends but at the very least good colleges. It wouldn't be the first time those two have ganged up on me.

When I don't say anything he continues. "You can't just shut everyone out Dani. Shutting people out was what got you in trouble to begin with. We got through this by talking. Even if we didn't focus on what caused it. You instead opted for learning coping methods, but that doesn't mean it is always going to work that way. Regression like anything else is typically caused by a trigger. Now while you may not want to talk about your past, you are going to need to divulge what has triggered this more current issue. It's the only way to, not only help you now, but to keep it from being a problem again in the future."

It's really not that simple. "And if I don't?"

"Come on, we have gone through this. I cannot help you if you don't accept my help. I am here for you, to help you, but you have to be willing to accept it. If not than I am wasting my time."

He says the end with such sadness that it makes my stomach cramp with regret. I know he has invested a lot of time talking with me and teaching me how do deal with my problems. More than he did with the others and he sure didn't do it for the money. I have never questioned his motive that he really wants to help me. Well other than when I first met him but I had reasons to be skeptical of any shrink at that time.

"Your not wasting your time. I want your help it's just….not always easy."

"Understandable, but in my experiences, nothing is ever easy. It takes someone strong, smart and willing to get through the problem. These are all qualities we know you posses."

"You don't understand." My frustrations grows because right now I don't agree and that isn't even the point. It isn't like I just tell people all my problems. I closed off that part of me. My past is something I buried a long time ago and until recently, that worked for me.

"Then please try to explain it."

"I can't."

"Can't or won't?"

I get up and start pacing as my frustration begins to boils over, I can't utter those things again. Even trying to explain what has been going on lately would mean me talking about my childhood. My biggest fears.

"Can't" I say confidently.

"That is a lie!" He almost shouts at me and I look at him shocked. "You have talked about it before."

 _Eric._ He is talking about when I told Eric. "That was different."

Anger spills over. That day is still clear in my memory and I distinctly remember telling Eric I couldn't tell him too. Unfortunately Eric never stopped, he just kept pushing until I broke down. As much as I hated Eric when he got me to confess my secret, I have long forgiven him for it, but it isn't something I would like to repeat anytime in the future.

"Different how?"

I shake my head. "Because I didn't tell him. Not really." _That is_ _the trut_ _h!_

"Then how does he know?" He presses.

 _Urgh!_ "Because he tricked me."

"What do you mean tricked you?"

I increase the speed of my feet as I try to hold my overflowing emotions back. "I never meant to tell him. He used his hold over me to get it out of me. I didn't even say most of it out loud."

"What do you mean didn't tell him out loud."

"He guessed most of it okay. I… I only confirmed or denied his thoughts! I can't talk about it. I just can't!" I scream exhausted at this intense questioning. Christian never pushed me like this and it is making me uncomfortable.

"Okay! Okay. Take a deep breath." His voice is calm and soft again drawing my attention back to him. He has that look of fear in his eyes again even though he is trying to hide it. My chest is heaving and I only now realize I have backed into the corner, my white knuckles fisted at my sides ready to lash out.

He starts counting off slowly and I close my eyes, leaning my head back against the wall. I begin breathing deeply, matching it to his counting and I slowly begin to calm down as the heaviness in my chest begins to ebb away only to be replaced with a flood of emotions at what just happened. I lost control, lost complete control. I cover my face in embarrassment as a tear falls down my cheek.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"As I told you before, don't apologize. I pushed you, I knew the risk, you reacted, it's what I do." His slightly joking tone helps. I lower my hands and look at him and his mouth turns up slightly. He gestures for me to come back to the couch and I take the few steps out of the corner, sitting back down on the couch.

"I guess there is no question now to how far back you have fallen." I nod my head because I know it is true. I knew the minute I began flinching at peoples touch again, but that doesn't mean that my words a few minutes are any less true. I don't think I can tell him what happened.

As if reading my mind Christian cuts into my thoughts. "You don't have to tell me today. If your okay with it, I just want to ask you a few more questions." I nod my head in acceptance.

"What have you experienced?"

"All of it." I answer slowly knowing exactly what he is referring to. It has all comeback, the heaviness in my chest, the fear of touch, nightmares, it's all back.

"When did it start?"

"A few weeks ago." Pin pointing when it exactly started would depend on if you consider the first time I really thought I was seeing him and completely freaked out or the time before in which I brushed off thinking my mind was playing tricks on me due to stress and exhaustion.

"What about Eric?"

"What about Eric?" I ask confused.

"Well we know that he has always been an exception to your issues. Have your most recent issues caused you to act out toward him? More specifically his touch."

There was the few times I flinched at his touch. "Yeah, a little."

"But when Casey startled you yesterday, you didn't act out violently. As I was told, it appeared that he scared you. That is quite a contrast in your reaction."

I sit quietly. That line of questioning is pushing back into our first conversation and I don't want to go there right now. He must sense it because after a short silence, he changes directions.

"So how is everything else around camp? You will be finishing school soon, isn't that right?" He gives me an encouraging smile and I hope is it signaling we can stay off the previous subject.

"Yes, I am almost done with school. I am about to start the last quarter and I have pretty much finished up the CLEP test and intern hours. As of now I am teaching the class even though I am not certified yet."

"How is that going?"

"It's okay. It's a lot of work to have to contend with. I still have all my school work but now it's like I am working full time and going to school full time. Most nights I am up until at least midnight. Unfortunately we have several more weeks of class so I won't have much relief until then."

"So you feel a little overwhelmed?"

I don't want Max to think I can't handle it but Christian just hit the head on the nail and I think that is why this is all happening to begin with. Unfortunately I am afraid to express that to him too. I like my job and I want to keep it. Max is counting on me to be able to do this.

"It's okay to feel that way Dani." My hesitation has answered his question for me.

"It doesn't make you any less of a person. We all struggle at some point in life. It's just important to lean to take some time for yourself. This added stress could be part of the problem." _Good, at least we are on the same page._

"Stress is an awful thing and tends to intensify already bad situations. How about other stress? How is your relationship with Eric going?"

"Not stressful but definitely frustrating." Then again being frustrated is making me a bit stressed.

"Let me guess; he wants to talk to you about what has been going on and you don't?"

"Precisely."

"I don't want to sit here and lecture you on how that could actually help because it is clear that you don't want to but, well, there it is, I said it anyway. All that aside, I really think you need to find ways to have a little 'you' time. You were always a fan of isolating yourself and listening to music to clear your mind if I recall correctly. I think that in this case would be extremely helpful. While I don't want you to completely cut yourself off because that would be counterproductive, try take thirty minutes to an hour each day and just get away from it all. No people, no work, no school. Give your mind a chance to rest and recuperate."

That actually sound great. Granted I do find a few moments to just forget everything, those moments are few and far between and have only been thanks to Eric helping me forget about everything in the world. Those moments are the only ones I have been able to enjoy lately.

"Well it is about time we go get some dinner. What do you say?" He stands and offers his hand to help me up which I graciously take. I feel worn out mentally.

"Sounds good."

* * *

Leaning against the wall behind the instructors cabins, I look up at the beautiful colorful sky as the sun sets. It has been a long time since I sat back here and just relaxed. This was my refuge when I was a cadet here, but it appears no else has figured that out. Or perhaps, they don't value the silence and being able to get away from others.

So many things have been racing through my mind today and the last thing I want to do right now is see anyone. More specifically, I don't want to run into Eric. I'm just not in the mood for more questioning about what's been going through my head.

I want nothing more then to just forget all the bad shit going on in my life right now. I just haven't had enough time to just get away and give myself a chance to forget everything, even if it is just for a while. It always made me feel a little better afterword, no matter what I had to come back too.

Back in Chicago, I had the roof. No one ever came up there, well except for Jeff. Anytime my mom would worry, she'd call him and he would immediately go to the roof. I never did get out of him why he didn't just tell her I was up there.

Instead he would check on me and tell me to get home. Now I know it was because he probably liked me even then. I can't complain either. Seeing his smile, making sure I was not thinking anything stupid, it was always comforting.

 **Flashback**

"Hey you!" Jeff pulls the cheapo headphones off my head. "You okay?"

Even as mad as I am at him for interrupting my 'quiet time', I can't help but grin at him. "Yeah, I'm fine." I sit up from my spot where I was laying down looking up at the few stars that you can see at night in the city.

"Come on, don't lie to me. You only disappear when something is bothering you. What happened today?"

I can't lie to him. He is only going to find out anyway. "Patrick was walking me back after your mom called you inside. A group of older boys were walking down the street messing around." It seems so stupid looking back at it.

"One bumped his shoulder into Patrick as we walked past them and he started yelling at Patrick and pushing him so I got started yelling at him to leave him alone. Then two of the other boys grabbed me."

I stop for a minute just remembering that feeling. Jeff grabs my hand and coaxes me to continue. I let out a heavy sigh.

"I was fine for a second and then you know..." I pull my hand back embarrassed that I am so weak. "I lost it. I tried to get away but couldn't. Then I started screaming….and crying. They threw me down, but I couldn't stop crying and I couldn't...breath. They said I was a stupid baby, said I was a freak."

A tear escapes my eye and I wipe it away quickly. I hate feeling like this. Jeff scoots over in front of me grabbing my face so I am forced to look into his eyes. "You are not a freak. You are stronger than anyone I know. I'm sorry I left you guys, I should have asked if I could walk you home. I know better than that."

"Jeff stop it isn't your fault." I have to be strong. It is not fair for him to beat himself over this, it was my fault not his. I was the one that was weak. "Your right Jeff, this is stupid. I can't let this bother me, I'm stronger than that."

His lips press in a line for a moment staring deep in my eyes, but then he gets up and pulls me to my feet. "That's right you are." He gives me a quick hug before grabbing me hand again. "Now lets get you home before you mom sends out a search party for both of us." His smile melts away the of my sadness and I already am feeling better.

 **End Flashback**

Those were the simple days. Where it really was just stupid boys being boys. Now things are so much more complicated. Maybe, just maybe I can find a little bit of peace, even if it is just for a while.

I slip my ear buds in and turn the music up, tuning out the rest of the world in an attempt to quiet my mind.

* * *

 **Hope it was to your liking and on to the next. As always, reviews and comments are always welcome and help guide me. Have a great day. Until next time!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Whoohoo. I got a chapter done quicker this time. I really hope you like it, I couldn't wait to write it. Without further waiting, here it is!**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter** **1** **2**

 _(Sunday,_ _February_ _14_ _th_ _)_

 _T_ _his hope for the hopeless  
Now that I know this  
You can be the strength to carry on  
The voice in the silence  
Is crushing the violence  
It's giving me a chance to right these wrongs  
I would never quit, this is it  
'Cause it's hope for the hopeless_

 _H_ _ope for the hopeless_

My eyes draw open as I feel a shadow pass over me and I grin up at the gorgeous smile that shadows above me. "Feeling better are we?" Eric asks with his cute half smirk.

"Actually I am." Taking Christian up on his advice, I have found myself some time to have alone quiet time. It has had a major relaxing affect on me this week. Not that much has happened this week but it still has been a good way to just 'deflate' every afternoon. Coming and sitting behind the cabin, listening to loud music and not thinking about anything has given me a much needed boost of energy.

Eric reaches to my outstretched hands and helps me up. Looking deep into my eyes his lips attach to mine giving my spirits a little extra kick but he releases all too soon. "You ready?"

"If I say no do I get another kiss?" I almost beg.

He smirks at me. "No."

"Well then, yes I'm ready." I say letting my excitement get to me. This morning at breakfast Eric told me that him, Paulo, Marlene and I have been granted permission to go out for Valentine's day. Harrison has agreed to lead PT tonight, and since there isn't much else to do, Max said the rest of them could hold down the fort.

I am very excited for Marlene too. She hardly ever gets to leave. When she does it is never for very long because she is the camp nurse and there is no telling when something might happen that will need her expertise. Pretty unfair if you ask me and in all honesty, I'm still not sure how the guys talked Max into it.

Both Eric and Paulo have been overly excited all day and neither of them are giving Marlene or I any indication of what we can expect. Another reason I decided it may be helpful to have my quiet time before we left. Who knows what they are planning and I don't want my stress from the week making me edgy.

Eric gives me another other quick kiss on the cheek and pulls at my jacket for a moment to get me to follow him. When I asked Eric how to dress since they wouldn't tell us where we are going, he just nice but warm so Marlene and I both decided to just dress in cute skinny jeans, nice tops and cute boots opposed to our combat boots. Marlene also lent me a nice jacket because I still really don't have a nice one to where. Once again I'm grateful that her and I are similar in size.

We stop by our cabin to grab Marlene and then head out to the car. I am getting more giddy with excitement and Marlene seems to mirror my emotions. To make things more intense, my hormones are also on edge as my eyes keep drawing back to Eric's outfit. Even as many times as I have seen him in his designer jeans, button up shirt and leather jacket, it never gets old. Paulo is at the SUV, dressed similar to Eric and holds open the rear door while Eric opens the front passenger door for me. _Such gentlemen!_

Not that it is abnormal for them to be so polite, but both of them seem to be just a little off today. Even last night something wasn't quite right with them. It was a bonfire night and both of them spent a lot of time sitting together talking. At the time I chalked it up to them just being guys but then I found out we were going somewhere today and now I am certain they were planning something. Today is Valentine's Day so I am sure it is something along the lines of just a romantic evening. Neither Eric nor Paulo are really the romantic type but who knows, maybe they will surprise us.

Despite both boys mostly keeping to themselves last night, Eric made it a point to keep sneaking glances and sexy smiles at me when he thought no one was looking. He was talking to Paulo mostly, but I have not doubts he was thinking of us. Bonfires tend to be special nights for us because it is a reminder of my eighteenth birthday, basically when we first got together. Typically even on our not so great days, we put things aside on bonfire nights. It is nice to just forget everything that is going on and have a nice night by the fire.

Besides that we both drank last night. I didn't over do it but I got pretty buzzed, again heightening my longing for him when he would do things like biting his lip as he stared at me. I think Paulo was getting fairly annoyed that he didn't have his full attention.

As we get on the freeway and head out of town my curiosity is peak again. We are obviously not staying in town and I look to Eric. He is concentrating on driving but has that smirk on his face. Probably feeling my stare, he looks over to me and brings my hand he is holding up kissing the back of it with a smile.

He has backed off a lot since last Sunday. I had seen him talking to Christian after our session last week. I'm hoping he told him it would do no good to push me and that he is better off to let me figure things out and I would tell him in my own time. Well that is my hope anyway.

That is how much of the week has played out. As in most weeks we don't have much time to spend alone but we mostly fell back into our normal routine of working out together, stealing kisses and hugs when others are around. However, since a few cadets have started working out at night, our moments seem to be even more rare. With the start of the new quarter at school, I am not overloaded with work just yet so mostly I am focusing on the work of teaching which is also getting easier.

It made me feel a little better about taking my 'me time'. Eric has picked on these away times the last few days and has begun meeting me back there at the end of them to bring me back to the real world after so we can share a few moments together. I figure it was also his inspiration for last nights little detour:

 **Flashback**

Finally we are done putting away the bonfire supplies. Today has seemed like a really long day and I am ready to get into bed. Tonight Eric, Will and I were on clean up duty. I can't complain much because I have never had to do it up to this point, so I guess it is only fair that it is my turn.

I pack the last of the supplies into the bags and Eric grabs the table that all the s'more supplies sat on. "Will, if you want to take this table to the supply room, we'll get the rest of the food and soda to the kitchen." Eric says.

"Sure." Will takes the table and heads off.

I smile at Eric as he puts out the last of the fire before picking up the cooler and the bag of garbage. I grab the few bags of left over food and he nods his head to start walking back. It has been a nice evening with no clouds in the sky. It's a bit cold but the stars are shining bright, a sight that never ceases to amaze me.

Once we put the stuff away in the mess haul and head back outside, Eric grabs my hand and pulls me toward his dorm. I quickly look around to make sure no one is there but it is well after lights out and almost all the lights in the buildings are off. There is little chance anyone is still up, except maybe Will.

I give Eric a questioning look but he ignores it and keeps walking pulling me along with him. There is no way Eric would actually be taking me to his dorm. I haven't slept in there since the end of the last session and even then that was a little awkward, but there is no way Marlene would be okay with him sleeping in our cabin either. I decide I will just go along with it for now because I don't mind spending a little more time with him.

When we reach the stairs leading inside he just goes around them and keeps walking. It only takes a minute to realize where we are going. He keeps his eyes on the cameras, just like he did that night many months ago.

"Can we sit for a while?" I'm not sure why he is bothering to ask now that we are already here, but I am more than happy to sit with him here so I nod.

He turns me around so my back is to him and slides down bring me with him. I am now sitting in his lap giving me a big deja vu moment. I let out a giggle at the warm feeling that presents itself and he kisses the back of my head. Laying back on his shoulder I can see him looking up at the trillion stars blinking down at us.

"It's been too long since we have done this. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes. I miss just getting to sit with you too." He leans down and gives me a sweet kiss before looking back up the stars.

 **End Flashback**

We sat there for some time until I finally fell asleep in his warm arms. The next thing I knew, he was laying me in bed assuring Marlene I was okay and that he wasn't staying, just dropping me off; literally. In keeping his word, once he stripped me down to my tee shirt and panties, he tucked me in with a kiss and left, much to my disappointment.

We exit the freeway in Ellensburg and go down the street to the hospital. Looking to Eric, I give him a questioning look. Not that I would mind but this is not even close to what I thought we would be doing.

"Just a pit stop."

Paulo jumps out, telling Marlene he will be right back and gets into the back grabbing out a bag. "Four asked us to drop off a few things for tomorrow." Eric explains further and I nod in understanding.

Max told me earlier today that Tris is finally getting released tomorrow even though baby Sam will still have to stay for at least several more weeks. Max is helping Four pay for a hotel next to the hospital so they can stay near the baby. Although their new house in Cle Elum has officially been theirs for a few months, they want to stay in Ellensburg until they can take the baby home. Tris can't bare to be away from him and I can completely understand that. I don't think I could leave my baby either.

It will be nice once they can all go home though and I have been keeping my hopes that he will get to go home sooner rather than later. Each time we've visited the doctors have said how impressed with how quickly he is coming along. After the first week, he was pretty much out of the woods and it settled a lot of peoples nerves. I had Marlene explain a lot to me about the ins and outs of premature babies. Once she seemed confident he was going to be fine, it calmed my nerves too.

Paulo jumps back in the car and we head off again but we don't go far. We pull into a cute Italian restaurant. I can smell the food as soon as I exit the car and it mouth watering. I have always loved Italian food. Eric comes around and wraps my hand around his arm before we head inside with Paulo and Marlene trailing behind us.

"Reservation for four. It should be under Eric." He tells the hostess. She smiles at him trying to covertly look him up and down and turns to take us to our table in a vacant corner of the restaurant. Even as full as the restaurant is, we still end up getting a table with very few people around us. Then again, it is almost six thirty in the evening and today is Sunday so it probably isn't as full as it could be. Most people likely opted for an earlier dinner.

We take our seats and the hostess tells us tonight's special. Eric orders a round of rum and cokes for us while he orders himself a Corona, presumably since he has to drive us back to camp. The host gives him an overly sweet smile before excusing herself. _I'm not going to get irritated tonight!_

I look around at the restaurant while everyone else begins to look over their menus. It is pretty nice, maybe even a little more upscale then anywhere I have ever been. They definitely went all out for an expensive dinner.

A cute little waitress, probably a college student, comes over with some waters and introduces herself letting her eyes linger on both of the guys a little longer than appropriate. Eric kindly lets her know we need a few more minutes and she leaves.

"Have you ever been here before?" I ask Eric. It's too nice to be coincidental that we ended up here.

"Yes. Casey and I have been here a few times. They have really good Chicken Parmesan." That would explain his lack of need to read the menu that is still sitting in front of him.

"That actually sounds really good. I think I will have the same." I look to Paulo and Marlene to see if they have made up their minds, but Paulo seems to be concentrating way to hard on his menu.

"Paulo you okay?" I ask. He is awfully quiet. Eric pulls out his phone and does something. I look at him strangely when Paulo pulls his phone out and reads something on it.

"Actually if you ladies will excuse me a moment." We both chime in with 'okays' and he gets up and walks to what I am guessing is the bathroom. Guys can be so darn confusing sometimes. Eric is back on his phone texting and I give him a questioning look at their behavior but he just shakes his head saying it is nothing.

After a few minutes Paulo finally gets back but he still doesn't seem any less awkward. In fact, he seems down right scared and my nerves go on high alert but Eric grabs my hand under the table. I quickly look to him and he is trying to hold back a smile while he keeps his phone resting upright on the table.

"Marlene can you come help me with something please?" She looks up from her menu slightly confused but grabs his offered hand and stands up. Eric hand tightens on mine and Paulo sinks down to one knee not letting go of her hand. Marlene instantly freezes and her eyes go wide. My heart stops along with my breathing.

Paulo wipes the back of his neck. "You know I love you more than anything in this world babe. I know I am not that romantic, smart, rich guy that you deserve. I'm also not that guy who always is prompt and responsible. In fact, most the time I don't take anything serious, like ever." He laughs and Eric quietly coughs.

"Yeah, but this is serious. I am being serious right now." He clears his throat and recovers his blushing face. "I have thought about this for some time and I am positive that if I could spend my life with you, I would die a happy man and I only pray you feel the same."

He grabs a box out of his jacket pocket, the same one I pulled out of Eric's pocket not so long ago. He fumbles to get it open and looks back up to her. "So hear it is. Marlene, will you make me the happiest man on this earth and marry me?"

Tears begin streaming down her face and she nods her head yes. Paulo's face breaks into a huge smile and he puts the ring on her finger before standing, picking her up and giving her a very passionate kiss. The few people in this side of the restaurant break out in applause and even a few whistles. The waitress immediately appears with a bottle of champagne and several glasses instead of our original drink orders.

"Ou te alofa ia te oe." He tells her with another kiss. They finally sit back down and champagne is passed around the table.

Eric picks up his and raises it. "To you guys and a lifetime of happy marriage." We all raise our glasses and click them together before taking a drinking. Marlene is still trying to wipe under her eyes trying to keep her mascara from running.

"Well let me see." I hold out my hand and she shows me her ring. It is simple but beautiful three stone ring. Paulo did a great job picking out something that fits her well. "It is so beautiful Mar, congratulations. I am so happy for you."

Even though I knew he was going to do it I had no idea that was why he was acting so nervous the last twenty-four hours. Eric and Paulo share a manly goofy smile with each other and Paulo looks a hundred times better. _Did he think she would say no or something?_

"Oh come on Eric, please tell me you are not filming me messing up my makeup with my tears." She says noticing Eric has yet to put away his phone.

"Of course I am. It may be the only time I ever see it again. I don't think I have ever seen you so emotional." He teases and I slap him on the leg as he laughs finally putting his phone down. I am surprised when he grabs my face with both hands and gives me a passionate kiss of his own.

When we break apart he gives me a half smile. "Just so you know, that is how you should act when I decide to ask you that question." He whispers next to my ear.

"I will keep that in mind." I pull him back in for another kiss and we are broken apart by our waitress returning to our table now that things have quieted back down a bit. Marlene is obviously still too out of it to really think straight so I tell the guys to order for us and I pull her to the bathroom grabbing her purse as we leave.

Once in the bathroom she turns and engulfs me in a tight huge. Although I tense significantly at the contact I just concentrate on breathing knowing she needs this right now. "I am so happy for you right now. I guess moving in with him totally works in your guys favor now." I tell her trying to easy the tightening in my chest. She finally pulls back with a laugh and my airways open back up.

We go over to the counter and she rolls her eyes looking at her smeared makeup. She immediately takes her purse I hand her and starts to straighten it out. "Thanks." I take the time to use the toilet and get my bearings from our extended close contact.

"I can't believe he actually did it." She says as I come out of the stall. "He was right about one thing, he is never serious about anything. I never thought he would actually take on such a big commitment. I wonder how long he really thought about it."

I really hope she is not doubting he really thought this through. "He has been planning it for a while."

She looks to me. "How do you know?"

"Don't be mad or anything but I kind of found out a few weeks ago." Her eyes squint together. "I sort of found out by accident." She just stands there and waits for me to continue. I don't want her to be mad at me for not telling her or anything.

"Well the thing is, he asked Eric to hold on to it. It just so happens that I got cold the same day before Eric could put it in a safe place. He gave me his jacket to wear and I sort of found it in his pocket. Let me tell you I completely freaked out. I actually thought he was going to propose to me."

"Seriously. That wouldn't have been so bad? Eric loves you."

"I sort of shut down and ran off. I wasn't prepared for that to happen. I know Eric loves me and all but we haven't been together more than a few months. It is too soon for all that."

She laughs at me. "Sweetie, trust me. It isn't something he would do just on a whim. Eric is very calculated and if he did propose, know he has thought long and hard about it." I give her a smile, it actually makes me feel a lot better about it. My reaction was kind of stupid.

"So how long have you know?"

"That was almost a month ago." I say a little shy.

"Wow, he really planned this out didn't he. That is a first!" She starts laughing and I join in. She's right, it is so not Paulo. She grabs my hand and we head back out to the guys.

The rest of dinner goes off without anymore surprises. We spend the next several hours talking and laughing about all kinds of things. They tell me about how they got together and how hard it was to hide from everyone including Max. Eric tells me that him finding out was also by accident but as it turned out, it has been to their advantage since he could help them sneak around. He admits he was pretty upset at Paulo for not telling him.

Eric keeps a tight hold on me and is overly affectionate. I don't know if it is because Paulo and Marlene can't keep their hands off each other either or if it is something else but I don't mind. Once we finally finish off the bottle of champagne we decide it is time to get back. Eric held himself to only two glasses so he drives us back to camp.

Once back at camp, Max and Tori are waiting out front. For a moment, I think something is wrong but the moment we get out, Tori runs and give Marlene a big hug before passing her off to Max.

"Geez, did everyone know except me?" She ask a little shocked.

"No, just us. Paulo had to get permission for you guys to leave for a few hours and he also had to ask me for your next surprise." Tori says beaming.

"And what would that be?" Marlene ask almost nervous.

"I agreed to switch cabins for the night so you two could be alone. It's only right but please be respectful that you are borrowing my cabin." Tori says with a sly smile.

"I still vote that Dani stays in the instructor's dorm for tonight." Eric pipes up from next to me.

"Absolutely not."

"Come on Max, nothing will happen I promise."

"I know nothing will happen because she is sleeping in her own bed, as are you." I hold in my laugh. _D_ _id he really think Max would agree to that?_

"Fine. But if she can't stay with me then I am going to hang out there for a bit before lights out if that is alright."

"That is okay but you guys are all back in camp so keep it professional outside the cabin. Paulo and Marlene that goes for you two as well. Tomorrow I know you will be tempted but you need to remain professional around the cadets."

They both nod and Eric takes my hand, pulling me away from them as we say our good byes. He releases my hand after a few steps and we just walk side by side. Not thinking I rub my sore hip as it begins to hurt more.

"You okay?" Eric ask.

"Yeah, I got my shot today. It tends to hurt for a day or so after."

"You mean your birth control shot?" I nod yes. "Well that means I still have free access anytime." His eyebrow jump up and down and I laugh. "Well we better hurry before Tori gets there. I would really like to give you my Valentine's Day present."

I look quickly over to him. "Eric please tell me you didn't spend more money on me."

He bites his lip and give me a devilish grin. "Oh baby this didn't cost a thing."

My core heats up and I pickup the pace, eager to get back to the cabin.

* * *

 **So what did you think. He finally proposed to Marlene, I am so proud of Paulo. And Eric hints about wanting to get married in the future. Hopefully I can get the next chapter out to you guys soon. I want to thank all of you for your continued support. Leave me a review and let me know if you like how this is continuing. I really hope I am not getting too repetitve or boring you. Reviews and comments are always welcoming and lets me know if I am going in the right direction. Love you guys! Until next time!**

(Music Credit: Hope for the Helpless – Papa Roach)


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello All! I tried to finish this up before the holiday but it just didn't work out that way but it's here now. It turned out to be longer so hopefully that will make up for the wait. I love you guys and hope you enjoy the new chapter.**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 13**

 _(Sunday, February 21_ _st_ _)_

 **ERIC POV**

 _Damn!_

Picking myself up off the mat, I internally curse myself. That is the second time he has knock me on my ass today. "Maybe it's time I stop sparing with you. Where the hell did you learn that move?"

Harrison smirks at me. "What can I say? Dani was right."

 _Dani?_ Using every ounce of restraint, I somehow I managed to keep the grimace off my face and keep my tone level. "And what exactly was she right about?"

"She told me you're a good teacher." I frown at him. For a moment I wonder when she told him that, but it is quickly replace, pushed back by the anger as my second thought of knowing that he is thinking about her pops into my head. I really don't like that he thinks about her at all. _She's mine!_ Part of me doesn't like that she was talking about me to him either.

For last few weeks, early in the morning, I have been sparring with Harrison but doesn't mean I like him. It is mere convenience. Next to Paulo, he is the closest match for me and Paulo isn't much of a morning person so I have to settle with for this but it's what I have been in desperate need of. Harrison is a way for me to get back my edge that has begun slipping as I have become more distracted by a certain woman.

Much to my dismay, Harrison has been slowly getting better and becoming a more even sparring partner. It isn't that I have been teaching him, more as he is very perceptive. Something that I pride myself on to overcome my opponents. As he has become more familiar with my fighting style, he has been able to find ways to counter my strikes, and like just now, picked up on a few new moves for himself.

He's not the only one who has been paying attention though. One of his lingering weak points is that he is he's easily distracted especially by her. I want to growl at the thought but hold it inside. The day she woke early and decided to join us in the gym, I knocked him on his ass several times. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize her presence was to blame. _That_ _I can use._

"She told you that huh?" I ask as we circle each other again.

"Yeah a while back. How has she been doing lately?" Mentally, I groan again at his words. Maybe this wasn't the best form of distraction. It may be much to my detriment as the weakness applies to both of us.

"She's fine." _Not that it is any of your business._

 _Shit!_ I barely miss his right hook. "She's seemed a bit up and down the last few weeks."

Yes, she has. Much to my disappointment, whatever it is bothering her hasn't been shared with me. She's internalized everything and any time I try to get her to talk, she insists it is nothing. Then again, she is a woman and not just any woman. I don't think any woman on this earth can compare to her. I can't help but laugh but immediately stop when he raises an eyebrow at me.

"You are mistaken; that is just her. She is the most confounding women–ever." I hold back the smirk that threatens to show through.

Question etches in his eyes. "Ever?"

"I know women. Usually they are pretty easily pleased. You just have to know how to see their needs and make sure you satisfy them." A simple formula.

"But not her?!" His head turns slightly to the side.

I can't tell if that was a question or agreement so I explain further. "No, not her. She is much more…. complicated than most women." Although I'm not sure complicated fully describes her.

"She does seem very intelligent." _He is suggesting most women aren't intelligent?_ Sometimes the things coming out of his mouth are just as perplexing as her.

"She is, but that isn't it." He waits expectantly as he slowly relaxes his stance. I'm not sure I know how to explain this. For the first time in a while I fumble for words to describe it, but I try anyway. "I don't know. I guess she just has so many sides of her that fight for dominance. It's hard to judge which one is there at any given time and she then it tends to change at the drop of a hat. It makes keeping her satisfied a little more difficult."

Harrison is clearly trying to repress a laugh and I throw a punch landing it in his ribs. _Distraction!_ He lets out a satisfying grunt. "I didn't say I couldn't satisfy her asshole. That isn't what I meant; I satisfy her plenty. Thankfully there is one side of her that is easily brought forward." _Choke on that prick!_

"Hey I never said you didn't." He puts his hands up in surrender.

"Good." He better stays the fuck away from her.

I see his game and I'm not stupid. The way he looks at her, always finding a reason to be around her, giving her those books, I know what he is doing. I see his game because I have done the same thing myself with other women. It is funny how quickly women warm up to you when you pretend not to be interested; make it seem like you just want to be friends and they fall right into your lap.

Now that Jeff has moved into the instructor dorm, it makes me even more uncomfortable. At least when Jeff and him shared a cabin, he was able to keep an eye on Harrison. I am extremely grateful Christian has been pushing her to have her 'alone time' which means less time she has to just sit around and read. Outside that time, I have been really careful to either keep her busy or make sure Harrison is busy.

I look down at my watch because my desire to continue our match has waned. "I really need to head out. I have some stuff to get done before P.T."

Geez, she really does distract everyone; that's why I am here and instead of getting my workout in, I am walking away to end our conversation. _Idiot!_ I can only blame myself.

Thankfully he shrugs accepting my withdrawal from our match. "Yeah, sure."

Grabbing a bottle of water, I chug it down quickly and grab my things. This day is not starting off very well and I am not sure if I am just irritated with Harrison's constant interest in Dani, irritated at myself because my plan backfire on me or irritated at the fact that Christian wanted to talk to me before his sessions started.

Things with Dani have been good since Valentine's Day so I really can't blame her for my foul mood. As a matter of fact, I would love nothing more than to have had her working out with me this morning. Last night, as we played poker in the cabin, she seemed more relaxed then she has been for quite some time.

I groan materializes out loud as I remember feeling her sit on my lap, running her fingers along my arms as I continued to play. I need some alone time with her soon. Maybe I can borrow Casey's cabin, he won't be up here this weekend. Unfortunately, I will have to wait a few hours to text him; it's Sunday, there's no way he's up yet. _I hate having to wait to do shit!_

* * *

"Hey Christian. You wanted to see me."

I always talk to him before his sessions to give him a rundown of the weeks' activities and any problems we had with the cadets or possible revelations to share. But this morning he texted me asking me to come in a little earlier to discuss something. _More like discuss someone_. I wonder what it is this time. Max has been making her go to her appointment lately and I wonder what he has gotten out of her that he feels he needs to share with me.

"Yes, sorry to call you in early. I know your busy." _Get to the point._

I have no patience for stupid small talk on a typical day and he should know that by now. Just say what you need to say. Today I have even less patience and I have a half of mind to just turn around and walk right back out.

"What can I do for you?" I don't bother holding back my irritation.

"Well I know this is a little unconventional, but I was wondering if you would sit on mine and Dani's session today." _Yeah right._ Nothing good can come of that.

"Does she want me to?" I eye him skeptically hoping he picks up on my disdain for the idea.

"I haven't said anything to her about it yet."

His words are quiet, reserved, but almost curious which peaks my own curiosity. "Why?"

"I think I may be able to get her to open up a little more if you are here." I see what he is getting at. He's talking about her past. She doesn't like to talk about it, plain and simple.

"Yeah, I don't think that is such a good idea." He interrupts before I can refuse any further.

"You know more about her than anyone. Apart from you, she has never shared her past with anyone."

That just isn't true; I know otherwise. Patrick and Jeff were there when it happened. They are the ones who help her through it and I am pretty sure Jeff knows more about that time in her life that even I do. Of course not by choice but because he was there. It bothers him just as much as it bothers me.

As much as I dislike Jeff for the fact he has feelings for her, I am grateful for him at the same time. Not just because he was there for her back then but that he is still there for her even now. Especially when I am being my dick–self and she needs someone to turn to, like the night of the party.

Better him than Harrison, but it's not my place to tell Christian any of this. She has been pissed off enough at me for talking about her with others and I am not in the mood to fight with her. Nor do I want to rehash the bad shit that she has told me.

"Christian, you don't understand. When I got her to admit that shit..." It was horrible.

The things she admitted, her crying in my arms exposed and broken. It was just as bad as when I saw her physically hurt. The grief and pain that she had shown was just so raw. I made her relive that in her mind and it pained me to see it. I shudder at the thought. I think it is really the only time she fully let her guard down. A couple of times she got pretty close but I feel like there is always a small part of her that keeps me at an arm's length.

"Let's just say I have no desire to re-live that day." Even if it was the first time she let me in.

"But the fact is that you did get her to admit it. She feels more comfortable around you than anyone else."

"She has a wall up around that shit that you are trying to get to and it almost never comes down. It isn't something she openly talks about. I simply got to see through a small crack in that wall for a brief moment. Unfortunately, it was long enough for me to find out she had some pretty fucked up things had happened to her. She isn't just going to start singing like a canary just because I am here."

Combine that with the fact that she has been more distant lately and I am pretty positive he won't get her to admit anything about her past. _Then again…_

"Are you looking to talk to her about just her childhood or what has been going on lately?" My wheels are turning.

His eyes shoot up in curiosity. "Do you think she may be more willing to talk about that instead?"

Maybe this is how I can get my own answers. She isn't going to like this but I am at a loss here. I've been trying for weeks to figure out what is going on with her. Something is off and I am determined to figure out what.

"Yes." I say putting my confidence behind my words even though I still have my doubts to whether or not this will work.

"Okay, well we can work with that. So you'll come?"

 _Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea_. I try to shut out my subconscious and nod my head. She will be mad but sometimes you have to give a little to get a little.

Christian is satisfied and he points to the cadets' folders in my hand effectively dismissing our conversation about Dani and we move on to our normal conversation about the cadets. Thankfully I have a few hours until her session. Now I just have to prepare myself for her expected ire.

* * *

Somehow I have hidden from Dani for most of the day. My leg bounces up and down nervously as I sit on the couch waiting for her to show up. Christian waits by the door biting on his nail clearly worried about how she is going to react to this. He insisted on not telling her because he believed she would just flat out refuse to show up.

I talked to Casey earlier. He confirmed that he wasn't up for the weekend and I was more than welcome to use the cabin this evening. Convincing Max was the more difficult task. We have been spending a lot of time together outside the camp and he is worried that others might start complaining it's unfair.

In the end, I had to throw the fact at him that for the last few years, I was the one who always stayed behind while everyone else did their thing. Not once did I complain I was pulling more weight than them and it pissed me off a little that I even had to remind him of that. After a small internal debate, he agreed but said that I would have to pick up a few more duties these last few weeks of camp. If that is what it takes, I'm okay with that. Besides, in a few weeks Dani and I will be on our way home to spend eight weeks together alone.

I am drawn out of my thoughts by the figure that has paused in the doorway. It is like a deer frozen by the headlights. She looks to me and then back to Christian several times before speaking. "What is this?"

I can't tell which emotion is more present, fear or anger. "Dani if you would please just sit and then we can talk." Christian gestures for her to join me on the couch, but his tone is too soft.

She takes a deep breath and takes a step to the side and crosses her arms in front of her. She doesn't like being talked to like she is weak or a child. "I think I will stay right here and you can tell me what the fuck is going on here."

This wasn't my idea and I plan to let Christian try to pick his way out of this. "Dani I just want to talk as always."

"And you feel he needed to hear what we are talking about." She nods my way.

"Not necessarily hear what you have to say but to be here more as support. Please can we just sit down." She looks between us again as she chews on the inside of her mouth.

Instead of responding she keeps the pissed off look on her face and walks over, joining me on the couch but she sits leaving more space than normal between us. _Great._

Christian follows behind us and before he has fully taken his seat she speaks up. "So talk."

He works to contain his amusement. "So how was your week?"

"Fine."

"No problems this week?"

"No."

"Anything new?"

"Nope."

"Are you having a good day today." She tilts her head giving him an irritated glare. "Okay, let me rephrase. Were you having a good day before coming here?"

"Yes."

He lets out a slight chuckle. "Is all your answers today going to be monosyllables?"

"Maybe." I turn away trying to hide my smirk as she says a word that contradicts her answer, but I am sure she is fully aware of that.

"Do you have something to add Eric?" I turn back throwing dagger at him with my eyes. He might as well be throwing me under the bus here. _What the hell?_

"Nope. This is your show. I am just here per your request although it seems my presence is hurting more than it is helping." I don't need her thinking this was in anyway my idea.

She looks at me for a moment before turning her attention back to him. "Well?" She questions.

It takes him a minute to get his thoughts in order. "Okay, let's start easy. Have you been able to continue to have some personal time to yourself?"

"Yes." She seems to calm at the new direction he is taking her and I finally get a shimmer of hope that this may work.

"Does it seem to be helping?"

"Yes."

"Good. I want you to continue to do that. Have you taken any time to reflect on what has been causing your regression?"

Her eyes fly to me then down to her lap. "I told you I'm fine."

"Calm on Dani, I need you to be honest. If what you have said the last few weeks is true, I'm sure Eric is just as aware you have had a slight set back." I don't know if slight is really accurate but maybe he is saying that for her benefit.

"I don't want to talk about it right now." She mumbles and I can't help but to speak up.

"You mean you don't want to talk about it in front of me." My hurt is barley contained and regret instantly hits her face making me feel bad. We are pushing her into this and that isn't fair to her. I just so badly want to know what is going on with her. My dueling emotions are getting the best of me. _Fuck!_

"Eric," Her voice is so small but I don't want to hear it. I feel ridiculously emotional right now.

"No, forget it. She doesn't want me here." Swiftly I get up and leave the room.

Dani yell out to me as the door closes behind me, but my feet keep moving. I know I shouldn't be so upset but I am. Right now I really want to punch something so I do a U-turn and head for the gym ignoring a crazy look from one of the cadets crossing the courtyard.

When I get inside, there are several people around doing various things but I just head straight for the punching bag and lay into it. I just want to know what the fuck is going on with her. My mind has been running in overdrive for weeks. I have imagined fifty different issues including me as being the problem but the more I think about each one, the more each one seems more unlikely.

She is scared, worried, angry, lost and nothing explains where it is all coming from. She was doing so well, we were doing so well, and then all of the sudden a few weeks ago something changed. At first I thought I was just over analyzing things, but then whatever it was progressed and even other people started to notice.

I have gotten her to talk about her biggest secret, the most painful time in her life, yet she won't talk to me. I have stood by her as she as went through hell, never once giving her a reason to question my love or loyalty to her. _WHY THE HELL WON'T SHE TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG?!_

The bag swings several feet out as I put all my anger and frustration into my attack. I grab onto the bag as it swings violently back into me to keep it from knocking me over. Suddenly my mind feels so tired and worn out. My hands cling to the sides of the bag and I shake my head, letting it come to rest against the bag. _Why can't I figure this out?_

"Eric?" Her timid voice behind me almost makes me jump.

I can see her face before I even turn around. Taking a deep breath, I try to compose myself. When I turn I see that face that I knew would be there, she is very wary and seems to be questioning if she should be here or not.

 _Crap!_ That is all she needs; me being more unstable. She's got enough issues without me being a dick. "Come on." I give her a ghost of a smile before turning and heading out of the gym.

Once I am outside, I glance back to make sure she is following and she is but she still looks unsure. She doesn't say anything as we cross the courtyard and she stays several steps behind me, only pausing once we enter the instructor's dorm. I know she is confused by my emotional state and there is no denying the irony.

"Just let me change my shirt and then we can get out of here." I tell her as she opens her mouth to talk. I would rather wait until we are more alone before we start talking. She walks further into the room sitting at the edge of my bed.

"Where are we going?" The continued timidness of her voice pulls at my heart; it's not like her. No doubt she is questioning my words before leaving her and Christian. Reality is that it hurt me just as much to say them as it probably did her. Another debate begins in my head to whether or not I should apologize for my harshness, but again, it's the truth.

Though I am pushing her yet again to tell me something she isn't ready to tell me. I pull on a clean shirt and hold my hand out to her but she stands on her own. My hand falls to my side and I let out a sigh. It does no good to push her into things and I know better.

"Look, I just need to get out of here for a while and figured you would like to join me. It's up to you, I don't want to force you to do something you don't want to." Well I want to but the rational side of me will not give in to those thoughts.

She doesn't answer right away, instead she stares at me for a minute so I stare right back, mentally hoping she will say yes. Just as I was going to tell her to forget it she takes a step toward me. "Yeah okay." I release a heavy breath in relief, pick up my jacket and we both head for the door.

For a moment there I really thought she wasn't going to go which just adds to all this confusion. In the past she would have answered that question in an instant. It's almost as she is questioning our relationship and it's making me even more worried. I can only hope that she isn't going to pull away from me again thinking some delusional thoughts about why we shouldn't be together which seems to stem from her complete lack of believing she deserves to be loved.

 _Wait! Is that it?_

It all clicks into place. All this basically started after she found that ring in her pocket. She pretty much started acting a little off after that day. Why didn't I make that connection before this; mentally I smack myself. I am so fucking stupid. _Is that what this is all about?_

Okay, now I know the 'what', now I need to figure out the 'why'. I can think of several right off the top of my head. The one of the most logically, well her kind of logic anyway, is either she is wondering why I haven't proposed to her which would explain why she withdrawing. She is likely thinking that I don't want to marry her and is pulling away before I can leave.

Of course that is total bullshit because I do want to marry her. Looking over to her, she is deep in thought as I start up the SUV. I want to just pull her onto my lap right now and tell her to stop over analyzing her thoughts but I don't. We can talk when we get to the cabin then there will be no one to interrupt us. Putting the car in drive, I set off for our destination.

Another logical reason would be that she doesn't want to get married, although that would bring up a whole new list of 'why'. I don't question her love for me one bit, but her inner turmoil is controlled by fear. It could just be that she wants to get married but is afraid that I will tire of her and leave. Several times she has expressed that insecurity. Again she is completely wrong but she is stubborn just like me and it is hard to make her believe things.

I have so completely fell for this girl and there are times when she is so clueless. Sometimes I think it is because she didn't know me before. She didn't understand before her I didn't care for anyone. The women I was with were a way to bide my time. Before her I just merely existed and those who have been around me longer consistently hint on how she has changed me or joke around with me by saying she has made me soft.

Fingers lightly skim along the back of my hand that I just now realized had made its way to her thigh. My eye momentarily close at the feeling of her touch. She grabs my hand with both her and brings it to her mouth kissing it gently. Sighing in delight, I take a peek at her face only to pause several seconds longer than I should have by the confused look on her face. Understanding hits quickly as I notice her staring at my knuckles and again running her fingers over them lightly.

They are all red and scraped up. I wasn't wearing gloves when I was beating the hell out of the punching bag. I was too hyped up to even think about stopping to put on gloves. She looks at me with sad, worried eyes. "It's okay babe. It doesn't hurt."

I pull my hand out of hers and grab her hand bringing up to my face, skimming it lightly across my cheek before kissing it. Thankfully she doesn't pull away and I don't bother letting go of her hand, just rest it lightly back on her leg. Her lips turn upwards slightly relaxing some of the tension that has built up in my shoulders.

We both seem a little more relaxed once we pull into the driveway to the cabin. I get out and go around the car, taking her hand as we walk up toward the door. "I figured we couldn't use some alone time."

"When did you decide this?"

"After my early morning workout. I couldn't get you off my mind." I give her a quick kiss before we go into the house. The contact makes me twitch in my pants. Yes, it has been far too long since we had some unrushed time to ourselves, but I still am longing for some answers.

Taking her hand, I lead her over to the couch and then grab us a few Corona's out of the fridge. She eyes me skeptically as a return to the couch, handing her one and then sitting next to her. I make no move to touch her because right now I know it won't take much for me to give into the animalistic side, but I have no doubt she has an inkling of my intentions.

She takes a long drink and sits back looking up at the ceiling. "Are you okay?"

My beer freezes half way to my mouth and I put it down on the coffee table then rest my elbows on my knees. I am hesitant to tell her what I am feeling right now but I am tired of holding it all in. Maybe if I lay it out on the table for her, she will open up to me.

Staring at the ground I take a deep breath. "Dani, I'm not going to lie and tell you what you implied didn't hurt because it did. I know it is stupid and petty and that you didn't intend for it to hurt me." She tries to say something but I put my hand up indicating for her to wait. "Please just let me get this out."

She nods and I continue. "I feel like this," I gesture between our static bodies, "us, I feel like we have completely went back to the beginning of our relationship. It's like all you have lost all trust in me. I can't pretend I understand everything that is going on in your mind but I thought you knew me enough to know I would never judge you or think any less of you because you feel a certain way."

"Eric," I don't let her continue.

"Dani we have been through so much and I don't understand why you wouldn't talk to me about this. I really think you are over analyzing things. I finally figured out that this all began when you found Paulo's ring in my pocket and I know what ever is going on with you is because of your feelings from that." She opens her mouth again but I stop her.

"Babe, it really isn't a big deal. I need you to know that I do want to marry you but I want to wait until you are ready. I figured when you froze that day, that even though my mind had thought about it before, it was too soon for you and that is okay with me. If you are scared or afraid, if you want to wait and get to know each more that is fine. Even if you wanted to just up and get married right now, I am completely fine with that. I just need you to tell me what is going on in your head because I am at a complete loss and I am going out of my mind trying to figure out your stance on this. Please, please just tell me what you want and I will make it happen."

I grab her hands and kiss them begging her with my silent gaze. Her eyes are glossed over and I see the wheels turning in her head. "Please baby tell me what's bothering you."

"I…" Her mouth opens and closes several times before she looks down at our tangled hands.

"Dani, we can work though whatever it is, I promise."

She stares into my eyes intensely looking for something. "I… I… I love you."

In an instant she moves onto my lap, straddling me and kissing me fiercely. I'm frozen in shock for about a tenth of a second before I kiss her back. All the intense, held back emotion that has been hanging between us, being poured into our kiss. In this moment I realize I need this, I need her. Yes, I have been craving her touch but it is her raw emotion that has me caught up in this moment.

I feel her need for me, not just her lust or her need to forget the world around us. I feel her need for my touch just as much as I need hers. My lips begin to move on their own accord down her neck and I reach down pulling her shirt up catching her sports bra on the way up over her head, losing contact with her skin for the slightest moment. She clings to me, pulling me impossibly closer to her at the moment of lost contact.

Moving my lips to that point on her neck, I elicit out a moan out of her. My pants are getting uncomfortably tight. Grabbing her ass, holding her tight to me I pick her up and she wraps her legs around me. I pull the throw off the back of the couch putting it down across the couch and lay her gently down settling myself above her. My eyes linger for a moment on her bare chest before I devour each peak. Her sounds cause the bulge to grow even more in my restricted pants but before I can complain her hands are deftly undoing my pants to release me.

I grunt into her ear as she firmly grabs my manhood. "Fuck baby, I'm not going to last if you do that again." I warn.

Grabbing her hands, I pin them above her head to keep her from ending this before I am ready. The pout on her face makes me smile and I reciprocate with a kiss to her nose to take away the disappointment because I have no intention of making this fast. We are finally alone and I am determined to take my time.

I begin kissing down the side of her face then move slowly down her neck. Her breathing has picked up but I feel her body relaxing more and more with each passing minute. This is one side of her I know well and have never had a problem satisfying. As my lips reach her chest, I give ample attention to each of her nipples, causing her to moan loudly into the cavernous room.

She's so close already and I have barley even started. Moving both her hands into one of my I skim my hand lightly down her body taking my time in getting to my destination. My fingers slide in her pants, under her panties and as they slide between her legs, it only confirms my thoughts. In an instant my fingers are dripping with her excitement and I almost lose it. _Fuck that is a wonderful feeling!_ I groan my lips still attached to one of her nipples, causing her to squirm beneath me, intensifying my need to be buried in her. I wanted to take this slow but I see that is no longer possible. Spending a moment to bring her to the edge first, my fingers quickly move inside her making sure to hit the right spot.

When I am sure she is where I need her, I begin moving my lips further down her body. Quickly I undo her pants, peeling them down along with her underwear making sure to scrape what little bit of nails I have down her legs as I rid her of her clothing. Pausing again to appreciate her beautiful form and I slowly run my fingers along her thighs before removing my own clothes as swiftly as possible.

Her eyes beg me and I am all too happy to oblige. I settle between her legs and admire the view of her face as I sink into her. The sight of her eyes squeezing closed in lustful satisfaction pulls deep down in me and I begin moving with purpose before she even fully adjust to me.

After only a few minutes she begins to flutter around me and I pick up the speed chasing my own release. Her screams fill the room as her orgasm rips through her and after of milking it, I can no longer hold off mine as I slam into her one last time. My body stiffens as I pour into her then collapse.

We both are breathing heavily and she begins running her fingers through my hair messaging my scalp. I hum appreciatively; I love that feeling. Needing to see her, I look up to see her staring down at me in complete bliss.

"So am I forgiven for crashing your session today?" I ask lightly hoping to get her to forgive me in her heavenly state.

"Hmmm, I may need a little more convincing." She jokes playfully, her smile still beaming at me.

"Well let's see if I can accommodate." I grab her ass again holding her tightly to me as she wraps her arms and legs around me again. Pulling myself back up into a sitting position, I swing my legs off the couch so we are sitting back on the couch with her on my lap. "Go ahead baby, I'm all yours." Her face brightens in delight, no doubt by the control I am giving over, as she brings her lips to mine.

We take things much more slowly this time and by the time I find my release for the second time we are completely dripping in sweat and exhausted. She is collapsed on my chest as I lay on the overly soft rug in front of the couch, running my fingers up and down her back.

"Am I forgiven now?" I ask playfully once my breath has evened out.

"Hmm."

I chuckle. "Is that a yes?"

"Hmm."

She is so fucking adorable. I glance out the window, darkness has fallen and I can't help but let out a sigh at the meaning. "We have to get back babe and by the way since you can't form a coherent word, I am taking that as a yes."

She lazily sits up. "Kay." _Hmm._ What a wonderful sight; all mussed up and completely sated.

I sit up to join her, wrapping my arms around her. "I wish I could stay right here forever." I whisper.

"Me too."

I grab her face giving her one last passionate kiss before moving her and standing up, bringing her up after me. "Come on."

We both dress quietly, completely happy in our blissful bubble. I take the blanket to the laundry room while she puts away our beer bottles, then after locking up we head for the car. As we head back I start to debate on whether I should try talking to her again. She was so close to finally talking to me about it.

"Not tonight." She says guessing at my thoughts.

I look over to her and she looks so happy right now. _How can I deny that face?_ I pick up her hand kissing it and hold it to my chest. "Okay." Besides she said not tonight which means she intends on telling me which is good enough for me.

It isn't lost on me that she has picked up on the weakness in which I apparently share with Harrison and used it to avoid my line of questioning. _Distraction!_

* * *

 **Please tell me what you guys think. Eric revealing a little more of himself, letting his emotions show through. Please review and tell me how you guys are liking this book. We are more than half way though the book and I am curious to know how you guys feel, good or bad. I feel some of the interest has been lost and would love to know if it is just beause of the longer time between chapters or if you guys are getting bored with the story. As always all comments and reviews welcome. Until next time!**


	14. Chapter 14

**I have another chapter for you guys. I am happy I was able to get it done with the craziness going on in my life but this is always my happy place and I get to it as much as I can. I love this story as I hope you do too. We are getting into the second half of the book and much is to be revealed. It will all come to light soon. Hope you enjoy the chapter! Enjoy!**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 14**

 _(Sunday, February 28_ _st_ _)_

The soft humming behind my ear wakes me up. It is too early but there is no way I can deny the warmth that comes from the man pressing against me. "What are you doing here?" I breath groggily. If he wakes up Marlene, she is going to be pissed.

"Don't worry, she's gone but I can't stay. I just wanted to be the first person you seen today." He kisses behind my ear down to my shoulder.

Waking up to him is such a nice way to start my day. Rolling onto my back, I reluctantly open my heavy eyes. He comes into focus despite the darkness and he leans down giving me a soft kiss. "Morning sleepyhead."

"Morning. Where is Marlene? I didn't hear her leave." Which I don't always but lately I have been waking up at the slightest sounds.

"One of the cadets has the stomach flu. She giving him some fluids and nausea medication. Are you too tired to join me for an early morning workout?"

Again, how can I deny this man. "I'd love too." His mood since last week has been rather upbeat even though I still haven't told him my little problem, but I am not complaining.

I crawl over him to get out of bed and he helps with a slightly stinging slap to my ass. "Knock it off, it's too early for that." I say trying not to smile at his playfulness. He holds in his amused laugh as he watches me throw on some workout clothing. It only takes a minute for me to dress, brush my teeth, and we are out the door. This morning is chilly but it's has been slowly getting warmer each morning. Some nights it barely gets below freezing and that thought excites me. I hate the cold.

We enter the gym that is still dark and quiet; not what I expected. "Not that I am complaining but where is Harrison?"

Obviously not what he wanted to hear because he gets a sour look on his face. "Paulo and him had a late night last. He texted me that he wasn't going to make our workout this morning."

"Ahh, so you decided to pull me out of my sweet sleep." I start walking toward the gear.

His chest is suddenly against my back as wraps his hands around my waist. "Yes, because I much rather have my hands on you." Moving a stray hair that didn't make it into my ponytail, he plants a kiss on my neck. I lean my head back against him as his light kisses wake up my insides but as soon as I start enjoying it, he moves out from behind me.

"Hey!"

He laughs at me. "I said workout and that is what we're going to do."

"What if I want to do something else?" I tease because I am starving for some sort of sexual contact and I see that dark look in his eyes. It doesn't take a genius to see he's entertaining my thoughts. It has been quite a few days since we were alone and I know he feels it too.

"Behave" He says finally. "We don't need to be giving anyone a show."

Of course, the camera in here. "Fine. What are we doing this morning?"

I let him take control of our workout. While we didn't do anything naughty, he found as many ways as possible to touch me as we stretched and did weight training. By the end we had both worked up a sweat and we did end up behaving ourselves for the most part, though we did stop a few times for some passionate kissing moments.

As we are putting away the equipment we used Marlene comes in. "This can't be good." Eric murmurs picking up his towel and wiping off his face.

"What is it?" He almost growls at her. Elbowing him I give him a 'be nice' glare.

She doesn't look happy either and something tells me she is already having a bad day without his attitude. "Jeff brought two more cadets in the infirmary."

"Great."

"That's not all. He said there that there is another one in the bathroom throwing up and so is Zeke. I think we either have a serious case of the stomach flu going around or possibly food poisoning."

"Fucking wonderful. Which do you think is more likely?"

"Considering out very rigorous steps to prevent food poisoning and the fact that each person I have talked to started exhibiting symptoms over the course of the evening and night, my bet is on the stomach flu."

"Are they all from the same cabin?"

"All but one. They are all from Zeke's dorm except Asa."

"Let me guess, Clarissa is one of the sick ones in Zeke's dorm."

"How did you know that?"

"I had Jeff bring Vincent in earlier. Those three have become rather close. My bet is the stomach flu as well. Makes the most sense. What do you recommend? Isn't this fairly contagious?"

"Yes, more than likely it is very contagious. Quarantine for twenty-four hours is probably the best thing. More than likely it is just a normal stomach flu. You can expect the ones who get it to run high fevers accompanied by vomiting, weakness and possibly dehydration. Depending on if it spreads further, you may want to call off classes tomorrow."

"Have you talk to Max yet?"

"No."

"Good." He says but I think more to himself.

He takes another moment to put his thoughts into order, but quickly goes into instructor mode. "I want to get all the cadets already showing symptoms in one dorm. Check all the other cadets for symptoms, if they have even one, they are to be quarantined in B dorm with the others. We can put extra mats on the floor if needed in either dorm. All medical checks need to be done in the dorm. Let's try to keep the numbers down as much as possible. I will go wake Max and get him up to date. I want all staff members in the mess hall in fifteen minutes except Zeke, he can stay his sick ass in the dorm with the sick cadets. Dani, get changed and help Marlene get the sick cadets to the dorm and round up the staff."

I nod ignoring his demanding tone. I know it is just this side of him and I have mostly gotten used to it. It also helps that as he exits the gym, he winks at me with that freaking adorable smirk.

"Well since you have to change, how about you round up the staff and I will get the sick ones back to the dorm. The less contact people have with them, the better." Marlene says not at all enthused.

Then again, she has been around them already, maybe she is worried she is going to get sick. I will have to remember to stay away from her and Jeff today. The idea of getting the stomach flu doesn't sit well with me.

I change and head to the cabins to wake up everyone. I start with the instructor's dorms and work my way back toward the mess hall. Quickly getting everyone up. As I get to Harrisons cabin, I have to knock several times before he opens the door in just his boxers rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. I look down to the floor immediately and quickly tell him we need to be in the mess hall in a few minutes. _Why can't this man ever wear some damn clothes?_

Quickly I turn around and it's just in time to see Eric glaring at Harrison's almost naked form. _Great!_ Things have been going so good for us this week. Ever since our little get away to the cabin for the evening, things have smoothed out between us. Although I haven't talked to him anymore about what has been going on, he hasn't pushed me to tell him. He has backed off considerably and we have been just enjoying each other.

The more I think about it, the more I'm certain, I was just too stressed and emotionally drained. Things have been fine and nothing has happened in almost a month. We have been busy this week but without Eric pushing for answers and us releasing some of the tension that was built up between us, things are going so much better.

Christian had been saying for the last few weeks that stress may be part of my problem. Even though I didn't tell him specifically what is going on, he could very well have been right. Just the thought that I may not be going crazy after all is a huge relief and has lifted my spirts considerably.

I hurry in the mess hall before anyone else gets there and find Eric still talking to Max. "Eric can I speak with you for a moment before we get started." I look to Max and he excuses himself before Eric can say anything.

"What?" He snaps and it takes all my effort not to flinch.

"Babe, please don't be mad. It's not a big deal."

"I'm not mad." He says still not looking to my face.

"You are and you are snapping at me for something I have no control over. I have no interest in him and I don't want this to put another wedge between us. Please. This week has been so good, don't do this, let it go." I place my hand on his cheek and bring his face up so he is looking at me. "I love you, only you." I plead.

After a moment of he lets out a loud sigh. "I know princess. Sorry." He glances scanning the room and then takes my face in both hands giving me a deep passionate kiss that he ends entirely too soon leaving me wanting more. He smirks at me before going over to stand with Max.

I turn, a little taken aback by Eric's out of character show of affection until I see Harrison looking at Eric with raised eyebrows. I let out a sigh. _Boys!_

I just let the irritation that Eric was showing off his possessiveness fall away. If that what it took to make him feel better than I am fine with that. Max doesn't seem bothered by it so why should I. Others start filing into the room so I take a seat and wait for everyone else to get here.

* * *

Today has been extremely busy. This morning I figured since we were locking down half the camp that it would be an easy day; boy was I wrong. With half the cadets puking their guts out and confined to one room, there has been plenty to do.

I have been running around as an errand girl all day. Marlene has been spending most of the day in the dorm with the sick cadets while Uriah and I run back and forth getting supplies for her. Then with Chris needing help and only a limited amount of cadets being able to help clean up, staff had to help out.

Then half way through the day, Paulo and Harrison both joined the land of the sick. I found out Zeke went out with the guys last night. After those two fell, I deducted that the source must be Zeke. It makes the most sense. I told that much to Marlene and Eric and they agreed, Marlene cursing under her breath that she was going to make him pay for this.

I am almost finished helping Marlene replenish her supplies so she can go on check up on the sick when Max walks in looking pretty grim. Eric looks up from his tablet and stands when he sees Max's face. "Dani. You have a long distance call holding."

"Me?" I look at him confused.

"Yes, it is Patrick. He is calling via Skype." I smile momentarily until my mind processes that something is obviously wrong.

"He's on in the office. Eric, go with her, I will help Marlene finish." _Something is definitely wrong!_

I quickly drop everything in my hands, not caring where it lands and rush out the door. When I get into the office, I can see Patrick already on screen waiting impatiently. His head snaps up as the door slams open and I throw myself into the chair in front of the desk.

"Hey baby girl."

"Cut the shit, what's wrong?"

"Dani, you need to calm down first." His concerned words just making me more jumpy. I feel Eric's hands weight down my shoulders but I just shrug them off.

"Tell me what is wrong. I know something's wrong or Steven would be calling…" Wait… "Steven, ohh my god–where is he Patrick?" My voice falls into a small whisper as a lump forms in my throat. It continues to swell as Patrick allows silence to balloon between us. "Patrick, where? Is he…" I can't finish my thought out loud.

"Sweetie calm down, he's alive." His concerned look moves behind me to Eric and arms wrap around me.

"Baby calm down or you're going to pass out. He's alive. Just take some deep breaths." Eric's words barely register. My chest is so heavy it hurts. Closing my eyes and concentrating on the feeling of Eric breathing behind me, I inhale deeply, slowing my breathing, but my anxiety is still through the roof.

"Okay, I am calm now tell me what is wrong." I say trying to keep my voice steady. Eric lifts me up and slides between me and the chair, holding me tight to him.

"Steven is in the hospital."

"Oh god!"

Patrick holds his hand up to me to stop me. "He is going to be okay but he is in really bad shape."

"What happened?" I almost scream getting impatient for an explanation and Eric's grip tightens.

"He was jumped this morning. We don't know much. He was on his way home from a party we were at last night when two men beat him up and took his backpack."

"Drugs. They wanted his backpack." I think out loud. That stupid idiot. I've told him time and time again that selling that shit was a bad idea.

"Well if the drugs were what they wanted then they are pretty stupid. First, anyone willing to steal something that belongs to Marcello must have a death wish or is just plain crazy. Second, he had already sold most of it the night before at the party and they didn't even bother to take his wallet that had all the money in it. It doesn't make much sense to any of us."

He has a point. Marcello is one of the most well-known guys in Chicago. Everyone knows any drugs you get in our part of the city belong to him and he can be ruthless. Another reason I hated the fact that my brother worked for him.

"Did you tell the cops?" _His scholarship._ He will lose his full ride scholarship if he ends up with a criminal record.

"No of course not. They just think it is a random mugging, but they are suspicious by the brutality." _What?_

I can't even ask. Thankfully Eric does it for me. "Exactly how bad is he?" He asks cautiously keeping one eye on me.

"It's pretty bad; one of the guys had a bat. He has a broken jaw, several broken ribs, his right wrist is broken and he has a concussion."

My head falls into my hands as tears begin streaming down my face.

"It was a little touch and go for several hours but the swelling stopped and he stabilized. They did surgery on his wrist and had to wire his jaw shut. They said he will recover but he has been in and out of consciousness."

"Where are my parents?"

"They are in the room with him. Neither of them want to leave him. I am out in the waiting room. He moves the camera around so I can see the room and it stops on Mike."

"Mike?" _What is he doing there?_

"Hey Dani. We're so sorry we weren't with him." Mike says full of sorrow.

I shake my head. "No, don't say that. You would probably be there right next to him if you had." I hate how broken my voice sounds but I can't help it. "Mike, what are you even doing there?"

"Oh, well, Patrick and I kept in touch when we got back. He introduced me to your brother."

"Yeah, without Jeff here I needed another wingman." Patrick says shrugging his shoulders.

I shake my head because I don't even care. "I need to be there. I'll be on the next plane as soon as I can make it down to Sea-Tac."

"No Dani. He doesn't want you to leave work." The camera turns back so I'm looking at Patrick. How could he possibly think I shouldn't be there?

"What do you mean?" The feeling of hurt replaces a bit of my sorrow.

"He doesn't want you to see him like that. He will be spending the next week or two here in the hospital and there is nothing you would be able to do for him. Your parents are here taking care of him, he is stable and he promises he will call you soon. He just wanted me to call you to let you know what happened and that he loves you and doesn't want you to worry about him. I am supposed to remind you he is your 'bigger, little brother'." He puts his fingers up quoting my brothers favorite words to me but I can't find it in me to find it funny right now.

My internal conflict begins pulling at me. I really want to go but he doesn't want me there. What would I really be able to do there? Maybe he is right. "Patrick, you're sure he is going to be okay?"

"Yeah, of course. He's a fighter like you. He promised he will call you soon. He is just pretty heavily medicated right now. He has a hard time staying awake for more than a few minutes."

Thinking about how much pain he must be in for them to put all those pain killers in him makes more tears fall freely down my face. "Fine but he has two days. If I don't hear from him, I am on a plane understand?" I say with all seriousness and I mean every word.

"Okay, I will let him know." I wipe my tears away but more just keep flowing out of my eyes, I've lost control over my emotions. "Eric, be sure to take care of her."

"I will."

"I'm serious. Or I will be on the next plane to see you."

Eric huffs behind me. "And do what?"

"Oh my god will you guys quit!" I yell no longer able to deal with their bickering. Even if it was friendly.

"Baby calm down. We were just messing around." He kisses my shoulder and I turn into his chest trying to hide my over emotional face. I don't like others seeing me like this. "Patrick, I will take care of her I promise."

"Alright. Talk to you guys later." The call beeps signaling the call has ended and I let me tears turn into sobs. Eric doesn't say anything; he just lets me cry until no more tears come.

It appears my terrible luck has rubbed off on my brother. It was bound to happen sooner or later and I have even warned him before but it doesn't make it any easier. My only hope is that he will learn his lesson and quit selling drugs. Not that I have a lot of room to tell anyone how to behave.

We sit there, him holding me tight to his chest until Max comes in. I stand up wiping off the already dried tears from my face. "Sorry Max. We will get back to work." I tell him moving toward the door.

"That is ridiculous Dani. Take the rest of the afternoon off." Max's word's set me off because that is the last thing I want to do right now.

"What? No. I'm fine and we have too much to do around here."

"Dani…" I stop Eric before he can even get started.

"I said no. I am not going back to my cabin to sit and sulk while I run through my head just how bad he really is. We have entirely too much to do with half the camp sick and I'm not going to sit around while everyone else picks up my slack." Without waiting for either of them to say more, I push past Max and go out the door. Right now a distraction is extremely welcome and I will take it even if it means cleaning up and caring for a bunch of sick people.

* * *

My stomach is in knots when I finally make it back to my cabin. I tear off my dirty-sweaty clothes and get in the shower. The hot water feels wonderful as it washes away the day. Being around all the sick people has made me feel even more dirty than normal.

This afternoon was even more busy then this morning. Two more cadets have joined the quarantined cabin along with Jeff. I have not felt great either but I'm fairly certain it is today's events more than it is me catching this stomach flu. Marlene insisted I wear a mask when I went into the cabin and I've went through a half bottle of sanitizer. Unfortunately for Jeff, he had more contact with the cadets before we really knew what was going on.

I also skipped dinner much to Eric's dismay. We argued for at least five minutes before he finally gave in and just let me be. We don't typically argue with others around but there weren't many left when dinner time came around.

Max decided classes are cancelled for tomorrow so tomorrow is going to run similar to today. We are going to keep everyone quarantined until we know it has fully passed. Several of those that got sick first are already showing signs of getting better which makes it even more likely that this is just a twenty-four hour flu.

I haven't seen a whole lot of Max today. Mostly because he has been locked away in his office most of the day and didn't bother coming to dinner either. I am sure he is trying to avoid catching this too. Not that I blame him, I would avoid it too if it was possible.

Unfortunately for me, there is only a few people to run the camp. Marlene and I have stopped several times to complain about Zeke. We'ave agreed we will be getting back at him for this. It's not fair, he gets everyone sick and then just because he is one of them, he gets waited on hand and foot while all the rest of us work our butts off. He is normally the prankster but he better watch his back the next few weeks because he is not getting off scotch free.

Once my skin is red from scrubbing it, I shut off the water and quickly get into my sweats. I am too tired to dry my hair so I settle with putting it up in a high bun and I will deal with it tomorrow. When I get out of the bathroom, Eric is sitting on my bed with a half-smile gracing his lips.

"Hey." He says carefully testing my current mood.

I go over and sit next to him. The work has been successful at blocking out all the bad of the day and I really don't want to bring those feelings forward nor do I want an argument with him. "I really just want to go to bed. It's been a long day and I'm exhausted."

"I know princess. Do you want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?"

"Yes please. Is that okay?"

"Yeah. I brought my tablet." He picks it up off my desk and brings up the dorm camera's before setting it on my night stand.

I pull back the blankets, sliding under them and he gets in behind me pulling me tightly to him. "I love you Eric." I whisper once he has turned off the table lamp.

"I love you too babe, always."

I know he does and it is the only thing holding me together today. He has been hovering most of the afternoon and I did snap at him a few times to let me get my work done but yet he is still here, even after the way I treated him. If that doesn't say love, I don't know what does.

Cuddling into him more, my exhaustion happily takes over my thoughts and I drift off to sleep feeling the occasional kisses on my head.

* * *

 **Hello Everyone. Hope you liked this chapter, it isn't a filler chapter, it actually is important and you will find out soon why that is. Please leave review and let me know what you thing. As always I welcome all reviews and comments. I recently had 8 more people move into my already crowded household of 9 so things are hectic but I really want to try to get to this story as much as possible so hopefully it won't be to long until the next chapter. Love you guys and thank you for sticking by me. Until next time!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello Everyone! Please don't hate me that it took so long to update. Unfortuantely my life is still hectic as ever and I don't have much privacy right now to sit and concentrate. It makes writing a good chapter difficult, but it's finally here and I will work hard to get another chapter out ASAP. So go and enjoy the new chapter.**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 15**

 _(Saturday, March 5th)_

Four months ago, I was scared as a five-year-old starting their first day at school. _Not that I would have admitted it out loud._ I was so worried about leaving my old life behind and starting a new life; a life I was going into completely blind, but somehow I have managed to get through it and all in one piece. _Well sort of._ Despite the roadblocks I had to get through, I am proud of how far I've come.

Since Tris had to leave suddenly, I have completely taken over for her. While it was hard in the beginning, I have been able to get myself into a good routine and feel comfortable in my position. Once I finish this last quarter of schooling, I will be a fully certified teacher. Now that I am done with my CLEP test and we will be out of camp in a week, it should be a breeze.

I am almost sad camp is ending in a week, but today there is no being sad because tonight is capture the flag. Outside of realm of 'Eric', it was probably my favorite part of camp while I was here as a cadet. The only downside of playing as a staff member is that we have to help setup. Thankfully I got out of most of it because I was in the classrooms teaching all day, but having just dismissed my last class for today, I have to report to Paulo to help out with the final details and then later we have a staff meeting.

Eric walks in just as I am putting the last of the homework I collected in my bag to take back to my cabin so I can grade it. "Hey. I'm just finishing up."

He comes over to me without a word wrapping his sweaty arms around me and nuzzles my face. "Yuck babe." I push him away and wipe his sweat off my face.

"Whatever, you know you like it when I'm all sweaty." He says grinning at me as he grabs the front of my shirt bringing me back closer to him.

I love his playfulness and gladly go into his sweaty embrace. "Your right, I do." I grab his face and bring his lips to mine for a quick passionate kiss. "I thought I was reporting to Paulo."

He kisses me again and I have to push him back to get an answer. "You are, but if you keep kissing me like that, you may not make it."

He tries to kiss me again so I push at his chest with a raise eyebrow. "So did you actually have a reason for coming here other than to attack me?"

I have a hard time not laughing at his frown that covers his face as I continue to hold him back. "Actually I am supposed to tell you to meet him in the supply room to help bring the supplies out to the field." He brings himself inches from my lips even though I am trying to keep him away but he is much stronger. "But like I said, you may not make it there."

Finally, I stop fighting and let him kiss me. His muscles relax as he realizes I am no longer going to push him away and I use the opportunity to my advantage. I quickly pull out of his relaxed grip and grab my bag not stopping until I'm at the door.

"Okay, thank you for letting me know. Love you babe." Giving him the sweetest sarcastic smile, I walk out the door leaving him still stunned.

I laugh to myself as I head over to drop off my bag in my cabin then head to meet up with Paulo. I get a few curious looks from cadets who are still lingering around and immediately try to harden my face but it is so hard when I manage to get the best of Eric. It doesn't happen often so I have to enjoy it while I can.

Paulo is lining up all the paintball guns when I get to the supply room. "Hey Paulo." Like Eric, he is all sweaty and you can tell the guys have been working hard to get all the boxes set up in the back field for tonight.

"Hey little sister. Word is your stuck with me this afternoon."

"Yep; that's the word. What do you want me to do?"

"We need to refill the paintball guns and pack the supplies out to the two team post. Here," He puts a box of paintballs on the table. "You fill half the guns with this color and I will do the other half; then we can pack all this stuff out to the field. If we are lucky it won't take long and we can relax this afternoon until the game."

"You guys already finish setting up the field?" I figured with classes, it would take them a few hours more to finish it up like it did during my session.

"They are finishing it up now. Between Eric, Harrison and I, we got most of it done faster than normal. Although I think a lot of it was just Eric and Harrison trying to show off but whatever, at least it is almost done. Besides, with Four out, I get to set up supplies." Sounds like he is happy to be picking up some of the lighter work.

I roll my eye just at the thought of Eric and Harrison. They go at it any time they get a chance. In the beginning, I thought it was just trying to show off to me but even though Harrison has backed off from me, it's still a pissing match anytime there is a chance to show off their strength. Both of them are ridiculously competitive.

"So have you got to talk to your brother again?" His voice comes out quieter and more serious like he is worried bringing up the subject.

"Yep. We video chatted last night." Well not technically talking as it is impossible since his jaw's wired shut. We did a video chat but we had to type everything to each other.

Seeing him the first time on Tuesday was a terrible shock; he was hardly recognizable. The guys who mugged him really did a job on him but I was relieved to see he really was going to be okay… _eventually_.

"How is he doing?"

"A little better. He seemed a lot more awake this time and he was really happy to get to see Jeff." I had waited until the next day to tell Jeff since he got sick before I could talk to him. Like me he completely freaked out at first until I managed to get through to him that he would be okay.

Eric surprised me again by being very understanding when Jeff wrapped me in a tight hug and didn't move. He just walked outside and gave us some room. No dirty looks, no heavy sigh, he just frowned with sadness in his eyes and left. When he didn't say anything afterward I knew that the look and sadness was for the situation with my brother and not Jeff's actions. Eric understood that Jeff just needed someone close to him in that moment.

Paulo breaks me out of my thoughts. "Did they find who did it?"

"No. They really didn't have much to go on and it isn't something that is abnormal in our part of the city. A poor kid from the wrong side of town getting beat up doesn't draw any extra attention."

Surely the lack of information they were able to get out of my brother was part of his own situation. He couldn't exactly go tell the cops that he was robbed for the drugs that were supposed to be in the back pack. It's also a good bet that some of the cops are on the take too. Even though I have had some run ins with them, I don't think all cops are bad. In fact, I have met a few decent ones when I am not getting busted by them, but there are always going to be the bad apples. All it would have taken is for my brother to say the wrong thing to the wrong cop and Marcello would have found out. Everyone knows you don't cross him. My brother probably wouldn't have made it out of the hospital.

I think about telling Paulo the real reason my brother was mugged but then I think better of it. The less people that know the better. He nods and we fall into a comfortable silence as we work.

It doesn't take long for both of us to fill all the guns. When we are done, we grab them along with the vest and glow sticks, and head out to the field. By the time we drop off the vest in the instructor's dorm so they can pass them out, we still have plenty of time to go catch dinner.

We knew we might miss dinner but we both figured it would be better to just hurry up and finish so we could have the afternoon off. The whole, no eating accept during meals mostly applies to the cadets. We always have access to the kitchen as long as we clean up after ourselves, so we planned to just grab something later. As it turns out, we finished even quicker than we thought and still had time to eat.

* * *

We walk out to the field it is set up exactly as it was the last time I played. Max already gave his speech regarding the rules and split up into teams. Since Four is not here, Max let Harrison lead the second team. Unfortunately for me, whatever contest is going on between Eric and Harrison is still in full force. Harrison picked me on his first pick of staff and Eric was pretty pissed. He didn't let it show much but I know that look.

Harrison is also not as familiar with the cadets as Eric which gave Eric the advantage and it showed on his face as we split up. Our team is definitely not the one I would have picked but we got what we got and we need to make the best of it. As we fall into a loose group next to our flag, Harrison turns to the cadets.

"Alright, you got a few minutes to work out a plan amongst yourselves."

"You're not going to help?" Vincent ask.

"No. This exercise is for you guys. The staff is just here to have a little fun." He looks to me and smiles.

The cadets start bickering between them and I take the opportunity to satisfy my curiosity. "So how come you didn't want to referee the game with Max?"

"Max gave me the choice but I really wanted to play. Maybe get a chance to beat your man at something." Quickly I cover my mouth trying to control the laugh that burst out of my mouth. Harrison and the rest of our team look at me questioning.

"Stop gawking at me and get a plan in place, we are about to start." I snap then lower my voice to Harrison. "And good luck with that. I will try my hardest but Eric has the advantage, the experience, and he hates losing."

"We'll see." _Yes, we will._

The cadets actually formulate a pretty decent plan quickly. They chose to split up in two groups, leaving a small group behind to guard the flag while the rest of us go after the flag breaking up into two person teams. We let them lead splitting people up and thankfully they didn't stick me with Harrison.

In fact, Vincent suggested they match one staff member with a cadet which is pretty smart. It's not the same strategy we used the last time I played but this is for them not me. We hear Max shot to start the game and we get in position.

I get matched up with Karen and we move off toward the other side in the middle of the group. Moving quietly, I let her lead us as we duck and weave in between the boxes. It doesn't take long to hear the other team moving around us and they are moving like they have a mission.

Shots start flying around us. Grabbing the back of Karen's vest, I get her to lower herself so it is harder to get hit. Unfortunately, we are ambushed from both sides within a few minutes. Two shots hit me in succession making me jump at the stinging in my ass. _Fuck!_ Focusing I see Skyler and Alex snickering and Max calls me and Karen out of the game.

 _Well that just sucks!_

Karen and I take a seat and we wait. Listening to the pops of the shots and the shouts, it is hard to tell who has the upper hand. Several more people join the hit group and I am starting to get antsy when I hear Harrison curse loudly. There were several quick shots right before his outburst and I would venture to say he was hit. My best guess would be he was shot by Eric.

Another few minutes pass before Skyler raises the flag announcing their win. I'm not surprised but I am irritated we didn't win. Not that I expected to but no one like to lose. Others from my team share their displeasure a little more vocally as we begin to gather back into one group.

Max quickly pipes in with his speech trying to make everyone happy again and Eric sneaks up behind me. When I look up to him, he is wearing a smile that he is clearly trying to hold back. "What's so funny?"

"How does your ass feel?" A small laugh escapes his control.

Okay I see his angle; thinking it is funny that I got shot, Jerk. "You think that is funny do you?"

"Well I did warn them they better not leave a bruise on you."

"Warn who?" _So this was planned?!_

"Skyler and Alex; they said they were going to get you and I kindly told them they better not bruise you." He lets out another laugh. "I suppose those ass shots won't really leave a bruise but it might hurt to sit for a day or two."

Those fucking brats, and Eric, thinking this is funny. I find no humor in the fact that my ass hurts and that there is a chance it may still be sore tomorrow. Eric bumps my arm trying to bring my attention back to him, but I just elbow him hard in his side.

"Glad you think that's funny. Thankfully you won't know what is sore because as far as I am concerned, you won't be spending any private time with me for the next few days." He wants to be mean and I can be mean right back.

"Oh come on. I was looking out for you. I can't help they found a loop hole in my orders." He gets a bit of a smug look for a moment before his smirk returns. I want to laugh because he is just realizing that means they found a way to do exactly what Eric was trying to prevent. I roll my eyes in his full view and go to stand next to Jeff on the outside of the group.

Max dismisses the cadets back to the cabins and Eric puts in his few words quickly before following me. "Babe, don't be upset. You know I love you. It was just a game and I did have your best interest at heart." While he is right that he was trying to protect me, he is standing here laughing at me.

"Whatever, we got work to do. Come on." Grabbing my vest that I took off, I join the rest of the staff to start cleaning up. I hear Jeff and Eric whispering behind me but I am not interested in what they are saying. I just want to finish so we can go relax. It seems not only I am thinking that because doesn't take long for everyone to get to work and after a minute, Jeff and Eric join us too.

"Eric, Harrison?" We all stop and look up to see Max walking toward us. He seems like he is in an overly happy mood, but maybe it is just because of the events from tonight. Although he wasn't talking to me, I remain next to Eric waiting to see what's up.

"I would like both of you to join Tori and I for a few drinks tonight." Eric looks to Max confused. This must not be a normal request.

"Max, it is pretty late."

"I'm aware. We won't be long, just for a little while. I want to discuss something with you and tomorrow is an easy day."

Eric shrugs his shoulders not seeming bothered. "Okay."

"Great. I will see you to out front in 10 minutes." Max turns and walks back toward the cabins.

I look to Eric who is still looking at Max. "What was all that about?" I am completely confused. I don't know if I should be more concerned about the fact that Max wants to talk to him or the fact that Eric seems almost speechless.

"I have no idea." He finally looks down to me then to Harrison who's still standing near us finishing up with whatever he was putting away. "Walk me to the cabin really quick."

I look around to the stuff we still need to get put away and to Jeff and Paulo who are still working to get things packed up. "Okay."

I turn toward Jeff, "I'll be back in a minute." He rolls his eyes at me but doesn't say anything, he just nods that he heard me.

We walk quickly to the cabin and I am stopped at the base of the stairs by Eric grabbing my hand. I fall back into his chest as he wraps his arms around me. Melting into his hold he starts kissing my neck. Not that I want him to stop but it isn't the time or place for this and I am supposed to be mad at him. "Eric…" I almost moan.

"Sorry but I can't help myself. Tonight made me think about the last time we played this together. It was so hot watching you that night." I hum softly as he whispers with his lips still on my neck.

"That night was awesome but don't you have to meet Max out front?"

He takes a deep breath. "Yes." I am spun around to face him. "I just wanted to give you a good night kiss without prying eyes watching us."

Leaning down he kisses me taking my breath away. When he finally pulls away, he has that grin that I love so much plastered across his face. "Good night princess."

He gives me another peck on the lips and then goes into the dorm. Just when I think I can't love that man anymore, he goes and does something incredibly sweet. After a moment of being frozen in thought, I decide I should get back to help Jeff and Paulo. Now that Eric and Harrison are leaving, we have more to get done. Zeke was lucky enough to get stuck watching the cadets.

When I get back to the field the guys have almost finished getting together all of the equipment. Jeff pauses to give me a knowing smirk. "Stop looking at me like that and let's get this stuff done so we can go inside; it's cold out here." I shove him with my arm and start stacking the vest that are covered in paint.

Once I have gathered all of them, I take them over to Paulo who has clean ones. "Here you go. Need anything else?"

"Nope. The others took a lot of it and I told them they could call it a night after they dropped it off. We should be able to get this all back in one trip if you guys can handle those bags over there, I will take all this stuff."

"Sounds good. Go ahead, Jeff and I will get the rest." There are only the two bags left which are not very heavy, just a little big since they have all the guns in them. Paulo picks up the vest and another large bag and walks off awkwardly holding the paint covered vest away from his body.

By the time I get back over to Jeff he is done packing up the guns. "Okay, we just need to grab these two bags. Paulo got the rest."

"Good, I am ready for bed."

"Ready for bed? It's not even midnight yet. Man you must be getting old."

"Shut up. I am the one that actually has to be up early every morning; even on Sundays."

"Are you joking? I'm usually up every morning for PT and I have an obsessive muscle bound boyfriend who likes to wake me up to work out before the morning workout so stop complaining."

"Okay, good point but I am not old; more like being responsible." He laughs and we grab the bags heading back to the supply cabin.

Today has been a good day. Other than being a little concerned about why Max wants to talk to Eric, I am happy. Things are finally looking up again. Camp will be over in a week and hopefully Eric and I can start fresh again without all the drama of my past.

Something flashes behind the cadet's cabin drawing my attention and I stop walking. Looking to Jeff, he is still walking in front of me talking. My eyes go back to the cabin, someone is there. It is dark but someone is standing there. There is no way it is a cadet; their tracking bracelet would have triggered when they took a step off the stairs. My feet carry me a little closer.

The person comes into focus and I stop in my tracks. _ITS HIM!_

No, it can't be. Please this can't be happening, not again.

The figure takes a step forward and I can see his face more clearly. _Oh God it is him!_ A smirk grows across his face and I feel the heaviness baring down on my chest.

"Dani, Dani what the hell is wrong." I turn to Jeff as his voice becomes a shout.

"Look." I whisper and point to the man, but as Jeff turns to look he is gone. That can't be; I know I saw him.

"Look at what?" Jeff puts his hand on my shoulder but I shake it off. He was there; I know he was there. I was not hallucinating dammit. Not this time.

Dropping the bag, I take off running toward the cabin. As I round the corner there is nothing. I look around but all I see is the cabin and the woods. I listen for any movement, but there is only the sound of the forest. _What the fuck?_

"Girl you are freaking me out. Tell me what's wrong."

"I… I don't know. I… I need to check something." I have an idea. Turning I quickly walk toward our offices. Jeff mutters out something but I don't bother to ask what it was. As I get into the office, I go straight to Will's desk and pull up the surveillance cameras. There is no camera that looks directly at the back of the dorms but there is one on each end. Eric and I have the camera's memorized; a must when you are trying to keep your relationship on the down low.

I pull the two cameras into the main screen. "What are you doing?" Jeff ask but I ignore him.

If I really saw something it should show it on here, either him or the light. I saw a flash; he must have had a flashlight. Rewinding the video slowly, I look for the light to cross either camera.

My heart begins to sink the further back in time I get. Nothing, there is nothing. No one crosses in front of the camera except Jeff and I. That's it, it is official. I have gone crazy.

"If you don't talk to me right now dammit, I'm calling Eric."

"NO!" I shout turning around to face Jeff. "Please don't." Eric can't know, I don't want him to know. What will he think? I am already a handful; he won't be able to deal with this, not with me being completely crazy.

"Then tell me. What is wrong?" He pauses a moment and then wraps his arms around my shoulders. He looks at me confused when I unintentionally flinch at his touch. "Come on; you know you can tell me anything. I promise I won't tell anyone, just tell me what it is."

I don't want to tell him but right now I don't have a choice. If I don't he will tell Eric. Jeff follows through on his promises and he says he won't tell anyone. I guess if I have to tell someone, then he is my best choice. Melting into his arms, I wrap my arms around his waist and his grip tightens.

"Jeff I'm going crazy." I whisper keeping my face buried in his shoulder.

"What do you mean 'going crazy'?" His voice is soft and full of confusion. How do I explain this to him? I don't even understand it.

"I'm seeing things; things that are not really there. It is freaking me out. I don't know what is real anymore."

"Is that what has been going on with you? When you freaked out in town with Eric or when you ran to the post office for Max."

I look up wondering when he heard about that. "Eric told me. He was worried about you; don't be mad." That is strange, since when does Eric confide in Jeff? The few times Eric actually talks it's usually to Paulo.

"I'm not mad, but yes. It's so weird, so real. I swear it is real but every time I see it, it disappears almost as fast as it appears."

"Sweetie, you got to talk to someone."

I push back from him. "No, I don't want anyone to know."

"You can't keep this bottled up inside; there has to be a reason."

"I don't want anyone to know, please don't tell anyone. I finally have a half way normal life, please I don't want this to ruin things. Promise me, promise me you won't tell anyone."

"Hey, calm down." Quickly he wraps me back in his arms. "I promise I won't tell anyone, I already said that, but you should. Dani, you can't fix it if you try to just ignore it. If you don't want to tell Eric, then talk to Christian. You are already making progress if you are admitting you have a problem right?! Maybe he can help you get to the bottom of it, maybe he can help you work through it."

"I don't know. I'll think about it." He stares long and hard in my eyes like he is in a silent debate over whether or not I am telling him the truth.

"Alright. Come on, let's get this stuff put away." I look down and both bags are sitting there, he must have grabbed mine before following me into the office.

"Okay." I shut down the computer and pick up the bag. Like always, nothing in my life can ever just go right. Maybe I will never have a normal life and I can only hope Jeff keeps his mouth shut. Normally I could trust him to keep his word but I wouldn't put it past him to talk if he was overly concerned.

Eric can't find out about this. It would break me if Eric left me but I can't expect him to want to stay with a person like me; a crazy person.

* * *

 **Well we are all about to find out who the mystery man is. Sorry if it is dragging out longer than you would like, but I have this planned out and it will be coming, I promise. Things are also about to get very crazy. As always please comment and let me know what you think. All reviews and comments welcome. Until next time!**


	16. Chapter 16

I'm back with another chapter! Hope it lives up to your expectations and sorry again aobut the wait. I have been promising it for a while so lets just get to it shall we.

 ****Warning: Serious triggers in this chapter.**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 16**

 _(Sunday, March 13th)_

 _Wow, it is over!_ Standing here watching the bus drive away taking the kids back to the city is a bit saddening. It took a lot to keep my emotions in check as I said goodbye to our cadets. I never thought that I would get so attached especially after all the grief they gave me the first few weeks. It's funny how much some of them have changed in the last few months. I have real hope for many of them.

Although I probably will never see any of them again. Either they will shape up or they won't but either way they won't be back here. Due to all the changes already going on, Max decide not to offer a position to any of the cadets. With the improvement in Skyler, he had a chance at getting a position here but it just wasn't the right time. I'm glad he left here on good terms. It makes the chance of him making it as a law-abiding citizen go up that much higher; or so says the statistic records Max keeps.

Jeff gives me a small smile that doesn't reach his eyes and starts back inside. He has been avoided me most of the week. I've tried to act normal like nothing has changed but it's pretty clear that things have been tense between Jeff and I.

Eric gives me an equally confused half smile before following Max back toward his office. We have a mandatory meeting in fifteen minutes. Eric hasn't been oblivious to the tension between Jeff and I but it seems that Jeff has kept his promise so far because Eric is still clueless. His continued badgering me for answers when he manages getting me alone has convinced me of that.

Avoiding being alone with Eric has been becoming more and more difficult as the week has gone on. On the few occasions, he has managed to talk to me without others around I simply told him it was the stress of the final week coming to a close, but he isn't stupid.

While that explains my behavior, it doesn't explain why Jeff and I have been avoiding each other like the plague. After I dodged Christian all day Sunday last week after saying I will talk to someone, Jeff was pissed. I tried to tell him I will talk to Christian but he knows me well and didn't believe a word I said. I'm just not ready to talk yet.

I'm not sure if I can get through our post week without giving Eric a more believable answer. Now that the cadets are gone, it isn't going to be so easy for me to avoid him. It's only a matter of time before he corners me and I won't have any other choice than to explain myself.

Unfortunately, I haven't thought of any other way to talk my way out of this. Lying isn't something I want either. It's only going to drive the wedge between us further. I wish I could be honest, just tell him the truth, but I don't know if I can do that and risk his rejection. It is a double edge sword threating to split my life no matter what I say. The dilemma is trying to decide which way will hurt less.

A hand lightly squeezes my shoulder and I jerk around to Paulo with his hands up in defense. "Hey little sister, it's just me. Come on or we are going to be late. You know how Max is." Looking around I finally notice everyone is gone. I give Paulo a reassuring nod but he doesn't move; he quietly waits for me to come with him.

One day I must thank him. In Jeff's absence, this week, Paulo has stuck close by me. I'm not sure if Jeff said something to him or if it was Eric but he has been within sight nearly every waking hour.

I didn't bother to push him away because his presence was comforting when I could get it nowhere else. He didn't press why I was avoiding Jeff or Eric, he kept everything simple and light which I greatly appreciated. The more I think about it, he has become like another brother to me.

I'm not stupid. I know he is watching over me likely at Eric's request, but it doesn't seem to bother him. If he doesn't mine, neither do I. At least I can put it off as long as possible.

We walk over to the mess hall together in silence. We are the last ones to enter the hall. Four and Lauren greet me as I come in. They have come for the meeting as per the norm leaving only Tris absent from the group, but Max rightfully excused Tris so that she could stay with the baby. We quickly sit as Max seems ready to start our meeting.

"Good Afternoon." Max begins and a hush falls on the room. "Another session is done and I want to congratulate everyone on another successful completion."

Everyone claps including me although they seem in much better spirts. "Now for some announcements. As I mentioned at the start of the session, Lauren and Tori will be leaving us leaving to join Harrison in Chicago." He turns to Harrison who is standing next to him and shakes his hand. "Take care of them."

Harrison nods and steps forward. "I promise I will Max. I just want to take this time to thank you for all your hospitality during the last few months. There is so much I have learned from everyone here and I will gladly take it back with me and apply it in our new camp. This has been time well spent and I am truly grateful for this opportunity."

Harrison moves and takes a seat with the rest of us as Max moves back to the center of the room. "With these departures, I know there has been questions to who will be replacing Tori. After much thought and consideration, I have finally chosen. Eric, will you please join me up here."

Eric stands up from next to me and goes stands proudly beside Max. "I have spoken to Eric and he has agreed to take the position starting next session. Congratulations Eric." Max shakes his hand before Eric retakes his seat.

"Next session will be a little more challenging with the many changes. As planned Jeff will be taking the opening for the new instructors. Four will be moving into the Lead instructor position and Dani will be officially taking the position as the camp's teacher. Congratulations to each of you on your accomplishment and thank you to the rest of the staff for all your support to help them along the way. I will be meeting with all of you throughout this closing week so that we can talk more in depth about these changes. I think we still have a great team and that things will run smoothly come May."

Max continues to go over details for the rest of the week but I draw back into my own head. Hearing him say it out loud only makes it more real. I am officially part of the team. Not that I wasn't before but there is a certain gratification to hear him say it. All the hard work finally coming to an end. _I did it!_

* * *

"Come it is too early!" Christina whines at me again as I try to leave our little get together. When Max announced, he was taking Eric, Four, Harrison and Tori out for drinks, Uriah insisted we have a little party of our own. Of course, that meant playing poker and drinking in the mess hall without any senior staff around.

It isn't that I'm not enjoying myself, I am just too caught up in what I am going to do about Jeff and Eric. I agreed to at least come and try to have a good time but even after a few drinks, my mind is too consumed to concentrate. When alcohol doesn't even drown your problems, it is a real problem. No point in staying here and losing all my money too.

Thankfully today was extremely busy and eventful as we start getting things straightened up before we go on break. There is a lot to get done and even more to prepare for now that several of us are taking on new positions for the coming summer session.

Eric was especially busy, running around all day on the heels of Max and Tori. It barely gave him a minute to even say hello to me in passing. The few minutes we got before Max pulled him to leave a little bit ago was the most we had all day combined.

It wasn't wasted with irritating talk. It was filled with a lustful kiss stolen in the corner of the room before we were discovered. For those few short moments, things were perfect again, but like always it didn't last.

"Chris, it is late and I'm tired. I was up early this morning and I am just spent. Max is going to have us up bright and early and I don't want to be dragging all day. Besides, I still have school work that needs to get done."

"Let her go if she wants." Jeff sulks from the end of the table. "If she doesn't want to socialize that is her choice." This little attitude he has is getting on my last nerve. Although he hasn't told anyone, he is making it quite clear that there is something wrong which is almost as bad.

"Do either of you want to explain what the hell is going on between you two." Uriah questions looking between us.

"Nothing is going on." I say quickly. "Like I said, I am just tired." I get up and head for the door.

Paulo quickly follows me. "Paulo I can walk myself back to my cabin."

"It's dark and late. I'm walking you back, no arguments."

"Whatever." No point in arguing, besides it can't hurt. "Goodnight everyone. See you tomorrow." Everyone chimes in with their goodbyes grumbling that I am not sticking around as we walk out the door.

Once we hit the bottom of the steps Paulo cool façade brakes. "Okay I am not getting anything out of anyone and its driving me nuts. What the hell is going on between you guys?" So much for him keeping to himself. I guess I couldn't expect it to last forever. He is way too curious for that.

"Paulo I am really tired and really don't want to get into this."

"Oh come on. Not even a hint?"

"Not tonight, but thank you for being there for me this week." We reach the steps of my cabin and I stop and face him. "It means a lot to me."

"I'll always be here for you little sister. Even when Eric and Jeff are being a bunch of dumbasses."

"I know." He can be such a sweetie. I give him a quick tight hug. "Thanks for walking me back."

He gives me a kiss on the top of my head. _Damn tall people_. "Night little one. Marlene's joining me tonight so don't wait up for her."

"Thanks Paulo; for everything." Smiling I turn and walk into the cabin. I close the door behind me, leaning back against it with my eyes shut and take in the silence. _What a fucking day!_

"Well, well, well. Aren't you the popular one." My face falls–along with my heart. Heaviness hits me like a ton of bricks, all air deflating from my lungs instantly.

It sounded so real, I can almost hear his breathing. I don't want to open my eyes but I must. I have to get this out of my head. Slowly I open my eyes and move my head toward the cold voice.

 _No, it can't be!_

 _It's real…_

 _He's real…_

 _And he's here!_

Shaking my head doesn't help, my vision doesn't change. Sitting at the table in the dark corner is the man I have feared half of my life. The one that caused me to become a social outcast so many years ago. The man who haunts my dreams, who used and abused me as a child. He's here, my imagination is not playing tricks on me, this is real. I don't know how or why but he is here, in my cabin sitting only a few feet away; his eyes staring icily into my own.

I'm frozen in place. For a moment, I debate on whether to scream. Paulo couldn't have made it back yet. He would hear me; he would save me. Just as I am about to yell out to him I am silenced. My eyes are drawn to the knife sitting on the table and the man's head shaking back and forth.

"Now you wouldn't do anything stupid, would you? I really don't want to hurt more innocent people because of you." My breath catches in my chest. _More?_

Slowly I shake my head. No one else gets hurt, but who did he hurt? Please let Eric be okay. "Well don't be rude, get over here and sit down." I'm still stuck in my place not sure what to do. I can't scream, I can't run. It's only a few short steps to get to the table and there is no way I can get out the door before he reaches me.

My lack of movement must anger him and he picks up the knife. "I said now! Get over here and sit down."

My whole-body trembles as I slowly move forward to sit directly across from him. "Now that's better isn't it." He lays the knife back down on the table but it does not thing to help the dizziness swimming in my head or the pain in my lungs from the lack of air.

 _How the hell do I get out of this?_ Is this it? Am I going to die here?

"It seems you have all these boys around here wrapped around you little finger, don't you whore?" He runs his fingers along the table top as he continues. "I see you dragged along that little piss ant you use to crawl into bed with just to spite me. I knew I should have taken care of him long ago."

Opening my mouth to defend myself he glares and my mouth snaps shut. For once I need to control my mouth or it may just be the death of me. "Then there is that poor boy that walked you to the door pretending to be all brotherly. But that couldn't possibly be because your brother is still laid up in the hospital back in Chicago now isn't he." My eyes shoot up; my brother!

"Yes, I know about Steven. That was absolutely brilliant work on my part. Let it serve as a warning. I can get to anyone at any time. You see, I have become quite the little social climber myself. I have connections you couldn't even imagine."

It's his fault; he did that to Steven. All this time we thought it was some idiot's misguided plot to steal something but something always seemed off. There were too many unanswered questions that were left hanging. We never considered it was a message, not until now. It was a message for me. _It's my fault!_

"Finally there is that sorry piece of meat that calls himself your boyfriend. Someone you can whore yourself out to. You have really let your standards drop haven't you _princess?_ "

 _Oh god!_ Hearing that single word out of his mouth drops my stomach to the floor. That is a word Eric rarely says in the hearing distance of others. It is something special that we share. How long has he been watching us? I try to think back to the last few times that he said it to me but my head is too full of haze as my chest still heaves.

"Oh yes, I know all about you and him. He has you so wrapped up, so twisted up in la la land that you are completely blind. Do you really think he loves you? Do you think anyone could ever love someone like you? A whore like you? Your broken, your used, useless to anyone. That is except for me."

"You see because you were mine first. Mine and only mine. My claim kept that little piss ant back for all those years and no macho wannabe is going to move in on what's mine."

That is impossible, he couldn't have been watching me all these years. He disappeared after that summer. I never seen him again; only in my dreams. "How did you find me?" I whisper barely audible before I could stop myself.

"That is the wonderful part. See you found me that is how I know this is so right. This was meant to be. I admit, I lost track of you after the summer camp ended and my new job took me away from the city. Years gave away into more and eventually my job brought me back to Chicago. It's funny how things come full circle. All those years working with kids and the various charities bringing me right back to you." His voice drops low sending a jolt of fear in me.

"Even though there were others, I never did forget you and I always knew you would come back to me. You were special. It's that dirty whore in you that you won't let admit you loved every moment we spent together, but you did love it." Chills run down my spine at his words but I remain frozen to my seat trying to understand where he is going with this story.

"Then I saw you again for the first time and it was like everything fell into place. Only it wasn't as perfect as I had imagined because you walked into the room on the arm of another. My fury ran straight through the roof and boy I was ready to snatch you away right then but pulled back as you greeted the guest of honor. My moment of shock that you knew him gave me enough time to get myself in check and formulate my plan to get you back. See I knew it was fate that you showed up to that award ceremony in Chicago."

 _Shit._ The trip to Chicago with Eric for his grandfather's award ceremony. He was there watching us.

"You disappointed me, I didn't like what I saw that night. That boy's hands on you, his lips, it's not right. No one's hands belong on you, only mine." Tears finally break the dam falling down my cheeks. He found me and it is my own fault. I can't go through this again. I can't deal with being in this room.

"You have been a bad girl letting another man touch you. You remember what happens to bad girls' right sweetness." No… no I am not going through this again. Jumping up I run to the door but I am slammed against it before for I can reach the handle. He is still as strong as I remember. Time has done nothing to diminish his strength.

"Now let's not do anything stupid." His harsh voice spits in my ear as he pins me between him and the door. His fingers run along the back of my head and bile rises in my throat.

"Please don't do this." I plead with the smallest of hope that he will just leave.

"Hmm, I love hearing you beg. I think I will enjoy this more than I thought. But not just yet, I have my own plans. You see this time you will come with me willingly. Things are better that way. You need to show me you deserve my forgiveness."

I shake my head no. There is no way I am do that, no way I will ever go to him willingly. _Never!_

Grabbing my hair roughly he stops my head from moving, pain shooting down my body at the force. "Oh yes you will." He growls. "You will because if you don't I will hurt everyone you ever cared about. I already got to Steven. How hard do you think it would be for me to get to your family back in Chicago? Or your precious Jeff, or these little rugrats around here that you call friends? What about that boyfriend of yours? You don't think I haven't found out where he lives? That condo down in Des Moines seems awfully comfortable. It's a shame there is no security at all. Just look what already happened to you."

My breath catches. He knows where we live, he knows about my attack. "Oh yes, I have connections that reach all over. It would be far too easy for something bad to happen again. Although I hardly think it was fair, how was that man supposed to resist you flaunting yourself around." The pressure lets up from behind me and I feel my hair being pulled back to the base of my neck.

"So here is what is going to happen. Tomorrow, you are going to tell your little boy toy, you don't want any part in this little whore romance anymore. You are going to tell him you want to go back to Chicago and then you are going to leave with me." _NO! I can't. I can't._

He yanks on my head stopping my head from shaking in disagreement and slams me hard into the door again. "Yes you will, or you can say goodbye to all of them and I will take you by force. I told you, you are mine and only mine. I'm leaving here with you either way. Whether those you think you love make it out alive is entirely up to you; you decide."

 _What am I supposed to do? How can I leave here with him? Will he really hurt them?_

A sharp point presses against my neck and begins to drag down my spine. "Have you seen your brother? I made sure he was left just alive. The baseball bats were a nice touch. It was so easy to take him by surprise and I will have no problem getting to them too. Don't doubt me. You have until eight tomorrow night. Be out front or you will regret it and so will they. They will regret ever knowing you. And Eric, I will make sure I pay special attention to him for putting his hands on what's mine." He growls.

His mouth presses on my neck and his voice softens. "Oh, I have missed you. That smooth skin under my fingers, that perfect body begging for me me to do dirty things to you, I can't wait. Time to come back where you belong. Eight o'clock, don't make me wait." Then all the weight against me is gone. I slide down the door unable to hold myself up on my own two feet. Too afraid to move, to turn, to speak.

I didn't imagine it. It's real, he's real and he's found me. All those times I thought I was going crazy he was really there, following me, watching me, waiting. Now everyone I love, everyone I care for, is in danger.

My mind struggles with what I want to do and what I should do. I know I should leave, just go so that those I love are safe; so Eric will be safe. But the selfishness in me wants to stay and forget this ever happened. I want to hide away and believe Eric will save me. That everything will go back to normal because I know now I am not crazy.

Sobs wrack my body as the full weight of the last few minutes bare down on me.

 _Whack!_ The window shades slam in the wind making me jump up and turn around. No one is there just my window wide open. Stumbling across the room I throw the window close, locking it and pulling the shade closed. My feet give out again and I fall to the floor next to my bed even more exhausted.

I'm so lost... I'm so scared… I'm so alone…

* * *

 **Yes, very tense and emotional. Several of you knew where this was going and guessed it a while ago. Now that you know, what is she going to do about? Fear is a crazy thing as I have always said. People don't always act the way they think they should. Hope you guys enjoyed this one. Hopefully you guys are just as excited as me to continue on. Comments and reviews are always welcome. I would love to hear your thoughts on what you think she will do. Until next time!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Whoohooo. Got this one done quicker and it is a juicy one. I really hope you like it and it is a longer chapter so enjoy!**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 17**

 _(Monday, March 14th)_

My world has stopped, time has stopped, there is nothing I want more than to die where I sit now. Of all the things in my life, for it to come to this, like this. What was the point? A life of grief, loneliness, and now extreme heartache. At least I was able to find love, even if it was for such a short time.

Apparently, it is not in my future to ever be happy. It was just a cruel joke life played on me to show me how happy I could have been if I was normal. Although normal is relative, even a small circle of normal is all I had wished for. Unfortunately for me, my circle doesn't go on forever. It stops abruptly turning my infinity into an acute triangle.

Maybe it was never normal at all. In the few short months that I have considered myself to be happy, it was also filled with the craziness of Lynn. Then the craziness of when we were back at Eric's condo. Was I ever destined to just be happy and content with Eric? Is it possible we could ever have a normal life?

Even if I stay, there is no telling what might happen in the future and there is no telling if everyone will even make it out of this alive. The attack on Steven was so brutal. My gut tells me he is telling the truth. He won't hesitate to hurt those around me I love. If I stayed and something happened to them, how could I live with myself knowing I could have prevented it? Most of them do have happy and normal lives. It's not fair for me to ruin it for them.

Eric too. He deserves better than this. He's worked so hard to have a normal life of his own. He worked though his struggles and now I am bringing it all to a halt. His love for me puts him in danger more than the rest of them.

My heart aches at the thought of being without him. I know his love is true, that much I am sure of. It may be the only thing I am sure of right now.

I'm not sure what to do. I have two choices and no matter how much I try to work it out in my head, neither of them work out to my favor. The endless time I have been sitting and trying to work this out in my head has done nothing to make up my mind. Although my mind is leaning toward the option that I should just go and save everyone else the grief.

The grief that would be all my fault. The only thing holding me back is Eric. Having to tell him goodbye, having to watch the sadness and pain in his eyes will be unbearable. A third option has found its way into my thoughts a few times but I have no idea how he will react. While it will end my misery, it will still hurt Eric that I am no longer part of this world.

Then there is the worry that my love ones may still hurt out of spite for finding a loop hole, but it is the only option where my pain and suffering will end indefinitely. The unknown is the reason the option is not a reasonable option. I can't leave everyone else here to deal with my mess.

My mind hurts. The painful thoughts completing endless laps in my brain has done nothing to help me decide. I'm not sure how long I have been sitting here but it seems like an eternity. My tears have long dried up even though I still have an overwhelming urge to cry.

I can see a few stars peeking through the shade from the window above me. They are so beautiful, so peaceful, so powerful. Everything I wish I was right now.

Exhaustion has finally taken its toll on me. I don't think I could move to the bed if I tried. Tilting my head back further to better see the stars I begin counting to clear my head. Maybe if I can clear my head for a while, I can think about this again with a refreshed mind.

 _One, two, three, four, five..._

 _One hundred, one hundred-one, one hundred-two…_

 _Five hundred, five hundred-one, five hundred-two…_

 _One thousand…_

 _Five thou…_

 _Click._ My heart drops at the sound of the door handle releasing the door from the frame. Fear takes my breath away. _He came back to take me now! I'm not ready!_

The dark silhouette figure steps inside closing the door behind him.

"Babe. Why are you on the floor?" _It's not him, not him._ I feel tears well up in my eyes as he shuffles over to me quickly.

"Dani? What the fuck?!" _Eric!_ Words elude me. He gently takes my face in his hands. "Your freezing and you look like you've seen a ghost. What happened?"

His eyes are so beautiful. Eyes I could fall into forever. His arms pick me up and he sits on my bed with me on his lap. All I can do is cling to his chest. My tears spill over as he engulfs me in his tight embrace.

"Babe what is the matter? Your freaking me out here." I pull him tighter to me. I just need him right now, to feel him hold me.

"Seriously, talk to me?" _How can I?_ I don't want to say goodbye. Now that he's here, the weight over my heart is crushing it.

Suddenly he pulls me back forcing me to look at him and I flinch back from him unintentionally. I see his concern at my actions and I try to gather my thoughts.

As he looks back and forth between my eyes, I see the wheels turning in his head. "What the hell is wrong? Talk to me please!" He pleads.

He seems utter lost. "Do you want me to go get Jeff?"

I finally find my voice. "No!" I say a little more forceful then I meant. "Please don't leave me right now." Moving his hands from my shoulders, I cling back to his chest.

He takes a deep breath wrapping his arms back around me. "Okay. I'm not going anywhere."

"Please just hold me."

Another deep sigh raises his chest. "Babe, I'm not going anywhere but you have to talk to me."

"Eric, I'm…." I begin but he cuts me off already knowing my answer.

"Don't! Don't you dare say your fine. I just walked in here at five in the morning to find you curled up on the floor pale as the dead, looking like you didn't sleep all night. For fuck sake, you are shaking uncontrollably and you just flinched away from me. You are _not_ fine."

I should just do this now. It will be easier if I just get it over with and if I hurry up and just say it, maybe I can go through with it. _Distance._ I unwrap myself from him and move to sit at the top of my bed.

"Eric." He turns toward me with raised eyebrows. "I uh, I have to, um." I close my eyes trying to concentrate on my words. "I have to go. I'm moving back to Chicago."

He stares at me in shock for a moment. "Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What do you me leaving? What the hell happened? Where is this coming from? Dani did something happen with Jeff? Is that why you have been acting so weird and avoiding me all week?"

"No, it's not that. Jeff and I just had a misunderstanding but I have to leave. I can't stay here anymore; I have to go away."

He rubs his hand across the back of his neck. "Okay, then we can go. If you miss home, we can move to Chicago."

 _Chicago is not my home; my home is with you._ It's what I want to say but I know I can't. "No you don't understand. I have to go, but you can't come with me." The tears begin streaming down my face again as I am no long able to hold them back.

"What do you mean I can't go? If you are leaving, then I am going with you." This hurts even more than I thought it would.

"I have to Eric and you can't." I whisper losing my conviction.

"No you don't." He slides onto the floor pulling me over in front of him so he can wrap his arms around my waist and look into my eyes. "Baby whatever is wrong you can tell me. We can work through it I promise."

I'm torn again. I know he believes what he says, I just don't know if we can work through it. I shake my head to tell him no.

Fear spreads across his face and he pulls me into a crushing hug. "Please don't leave me. Dani, I love you, I need you. Please don't do this."

Sobs rack my body at his pleas. The pain in my heart is ripping it in two. _How can I leave him?_

Maybe I can change his mind. If he knows, maybe he won't want to be with me anymore. He must be getting tired of my fucked-up shit. Perhaps my fucked up past coming back to haunt me will be enough to push him away. Just maybe he will let me go.

"Eric I have to tell you something." I'm too weak to leave, this is the only thing I can do and hope it pushes him away. _How do I even explain this?_

He leans back to look at me, but I look down to my hands. "You can tell me anything. You know that right?"

Here goes nothing. "He's back. He found me when we went to Chicago and now I have to leave with him. If I don't go, bad things are going to happen. I need you guys to be safe, especially you."

"What do mean he's back?" He pulls my chin up forcing me to look at him. "Who's back? And what do you mean bad things?"

I shake his hand off and look down again. It's too hard to concentrate looking into his eyes and I am too ashamed. More tears fall onto my hands. "The teacher." I whisper.

"Teacher?"

Heaviness falls around me and my hands begin to tremble. "The one from summer camp."

The silence in the room is deafening.

After an endless silence his hands cover my own. "What do you mean by bad things." His words are soft, almost comforting if it wasn't for the reminder his words brought to my head.

"He's responsible for Steven being in the hospital. It was a warning to me. If I don't leave with him everyone I love is in danger. The only way to keep you all safe is for me to leave. I have to go."

"How did he find you in Chicago?"

"He saw us when we were in Chicago. He followed me back here." No point in telling him where in Chicago it was. That will only make him blame himself and this isn't his fault.

"That was months ago…" He pauses as the puzzle piece begin to fall into place. "You fainting, acting scared, it's all connected, isn't it?"

"He been watching me. Up until now I thought I was going crazy, hallucinating. I never imagined it could really be him."

"What changed that? Why are you so sure he isn't a hallucination?" Now he does think I am crazy. I guess this is what I wanted.

"He was here."

In an instant h is to his feet looking around the room. "Here where?"

"When I came back to the cabin last night. He was here waiting but he left. He told me I have to go or everyone I love will suffer. I can't do that to you guys."

"Fucking Christ! You're not leaving here with him; over my dead body."

"Exactly Eric! If I don't go he is going to kill you and take me anyway, I don't have a choice here."

"The hell you don't!"

He starts walking toward the door and I jump up pulling back on his arm. "Don't Eric."

He swings around pulling up to his full height. "No you don't. You are not leaving with some child abusing psycho to try and protect me. Did you really think I would just let you go after everything we have been through in the last few months? I finally found someone I love, someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm not letting you go without a fight."

This is not how I imagined this going. "But what if he hurts you. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you."

"Don't worry, nothing is going to happen to me or to you. I will keep you safe, I promise." He pulls me into a comforting hug. My plan backfired and now I am no better off than when I started. I suppose Eric has made the choice for me but it still doesn't make me feel any better; at least I have him. He is choosing me over all this stupid over the top heap of shit that makes up my life and showing his true unrelenting love. I begin to relax in his protective embrace.

"What are you going to do?" I whisper.

"We need to call the police."

"No, please." I beg. "I can't go through that. Telling people over and over again. Being dragged into court for everyone to hear what he did. I can't do that." A shiver runs down my back. "Besides he has friends in high places, it may never even go to court. With the right friends, he could probably make a call and have it all swept under the rug."

Pulling back slightly, he looks into my eyes trying to decide on the best course of action. "Fine, but we have to tell Max." I open my mouth to argue but he silences me with a finger. "I know you don't want people to know. I will tell him the edited version, but he needs to know. If there is a chance that we are in danger, then we should tell him."

I nod my head. He is right. I have to protect everyone and to do that Max is going to have to know.

"Get dressed." He release me and start pulling out my clothes from the dresser.

"Wait we are telling him now?"

"Dani he was in your room last night. Yes we are telling Max now. Go get dressed."

I'm not sure if I am completely okay with this but it's too late now. I've made up my mind, I am staying and I need to do what Eric thinks is best. I trust him.

* * *

Max stands on the stage looking out at all of us. We just spent the last hour in Max's cabin. Thankfully, Eric skipped over the details of my ordeal and Max was extremely understanding. After a little bit of an argument over whether to call the police, Max gave in. I had to explain a little more about my brother and the fact that he has influential contacts that could protect him.

Instead Max decided to put the camp into a lock down until we could decide what we are going to do. Again, my life is causing problems at the camp. For the life of me, I can't understand how Max can even stand me when I keep becoming a wrench in his smooth-running camp.

"Good morning everyone. Sorry about the late start, but we had something come up that is cause for concern. Until further notice, I am asking everyone to stay in camp. No one is to go anywhere by themselves and anything suspicious needs to be reported to me immediately. After dark no one is to be walking around alone."

"What's going on?" Harrison ask.

"I had a threat on the camp staff. While that happens often considering the juvenile delinquent that come through here, I also have reason to believe this threat may be creditable. The staff safety is my number one priority so I will expect everyone to take this seriously and keep your eye open."

Satisfied with the answer, we begin our workout. Maxed promised to be discrete about the situation but he made it clear he was not going to do anything that would put his staff at risk either. If it becomes necessary, he will tell the police. I suppose I can be understanding about that. Hopefully we can figure this out without having to resort to that.

We discussed just ending the week early but Max insisted he didn't want us going home and having to deal with this alone. Especially because we didn't want him to call the police. He isn't sure what we are going to do next but he promised we will figure it out. I'm not sure how much it is going to help. I don't see a way out of this.

I suppose we won't know how bad it is until tonight when I don't show up out front. I hate being the cause of all this. It isn't fair to everyone else.

As we finish, I grab Jeff to keep him behind. No point in him still being mad at me and he should know the whole truth. Besides, he is in just as much danger as Eric.

"What's going on?" He snaps at me rightfully guessing I know what this is all about.

"I told Eric. About the things I thought I was hallucinating."

"What do you mean _thought_?" His demeanor changes immediately.

"Jeff I told you I thought I was hallucinating but I never told you who?" It would have just sounded even more crazy.

"Who? And you still didn't answer my question. What do you mean thought?"

Here goes nothing. "All the times I thought I was seeing something that wasn't there, well it turns out I was really seeing him. It wasn't all in my head, I am not going crazy."

"Him who… just tell me."

I take a deep breath. "It was Mr. Redding and he's back."

He looks at me confused. "Wait. Mr. Redding? Thee Mr. Redding from…"

I cut him off. "Yes."

"How is that possible and what the hell is doing here? Why is he here?" He stands up straight and begins to look around us.

"He saw me when Eric and we went back to Chicago. He is here for me and he told me if I don't go back with him that he was going to hurt everyone I love."

"Dani there is no way he is going to hurt anyone; he's trying to scare you into thinking…"

"He already did. Steven's attack wasn't some random mugging. That is why it never made any sense. We know no one is stupid enough to steal that stuff from him. That's way Marcello still hasn't found out who did it. No one on the streets knows because it wasn't someone from the streets."

"Why though? What was the point?"

"He was sending a message. Showing me what he would do to those I love if I didn't obey him."

"You didn't consider it, did you? Eric will protect you. We all will. You know that right." Of course I considered it; I had to. In fact, I almost did. It was only Eric who somehow convinced me not too.

"I'm here aren't I?" He gives me that stupid look telling me he knew I did. "I promise I will let Max and Eric handle this." I try to assure him.

"What are they going to do?"

"I don't know yet. We just told Max the whole story. Well we gave him the quick overview of it. I couldn't tell him everything but he knows enough to understand my issues." Which is way more than I prefer but I no longer in control of this.

"And this lockdown is because of him. How do you know he is even here? That it isn't all in your head?"

Great, him too. Everyone rather think I was crazy then to believe that I am telling the truth. Max asked the same question too and even Eric. Glad to know everyone is on the same page.

I take a deep breath. "Yes. When I went back to my cabin last night he was there."

"Holy Fuck." He grabs me pulling me into a hug. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"No he didn't do anything. Just threated to hurt everyone I love if I didn't meet him tonight."

"Now that Eric knows, he isn't going to let that happen and neither will I." That is the hope. All I can do now is hope my worst fears don't come true.

* * *

"You can't possible think I am going to sit here while you go out there." I shout as Eric unwraps his hands. We spent the last hour punching at bags trying to clear our heads or that is what I was doing.

"No. You are going into the instructor's cabin and staying with Paulo while Max and I go out there."

"Eric, I am not just going to sit around while you put yourself in danger." In what universe does he really believe I would sit around and do nothing.

"Yes you are."

"No. I'm. Not."

"I'm not letting you walk into another dangerous situation." He shouts as he begins to lose his temper. I flinch a little not expecting it but recover quickly standing up straighter.

"Neither am I and if you go out there so am I." At least if something happens I can try to bring the focus to me so he doesn't hurt Eric. His eyes soften a little as he reigns himself in.

"Babe, you need to trust me. I can't concentrate if you're not safe. Chances are he isn't even going to be out there."

"But what if he is?" I take his face in my hands. "I can't live without you."

He leans down kissing me softly before pulling back. "I promise nothing will happen to me."

"But what are you going to do if he is out there? If he doesn't see me, he probably won't even let you see him. You won't even have a chance. You don't even know what he looks like."

"What are you suggesting I just let you walk out there and give him a chance to hurt you?" His hands grab at the back on his neck in frustration. I know this has got to be hard for him.

"Not let him hurt me but use me as bait. If you let me go out there and you and Max hide in the shadows, it will give you both a chance to catch him." The wheels begin turning in his head. He is considering it so I continue trying to gain the upper hand. "At the very least you will be able to see him, then you will know what he looks like."

"I don't know, I don't want you out there." He shakes his head as if trying to shake off a different thought blooming in his head. My hope isn't shot down yet again.

"Eric, I am not the helpless little girl I was all those years ago. You taught me well."

His face contorts. "Well I can't say it has all been me. You have an awful amount of rage built up inside you."

"Yes! Rage, he created. I would love nothing more than to make him suffer for what he did."

"That would be fine and dandy except you freeze and panic every time you see him." He turns away picking up his gear.

"I won't this time, not with you there. You will be there to protect me. This is your chance to get him and end this before it even begins."

Taking a deep breath, he turns back toward me. He looks deep in my eyes as if trying to read my soul. I stand up straighter and meet his stare head on. I'm not backing down on this.

He begins shaking his head and backs down first.

"Fuck!" He growls and then gets right up in my face. "Fine! If we do this, you listen and do exactly what I say and I'm not giving in because you asked. I'm doing this because if I leave you in the cabin, you will try and run off on your own and do it anyway. At least this way, I can have an eye on you at all times."

 _Yessss!_ I won; well sort of. There really isn't any winning in this situation but at least I can keep an eye on him too.

"Come on. We need to go discuss this with Max and something tells me it is going to take some convincing." We head out of the gym toward Max's office where he has been hold up all day.

Eric is right. Max was livid when he first heard the plan, but like Eric, in the end he couldn't deny the fact that this is the perfect opportunity. After a little discussion, are plan was put into place. Unfortunately, he insisted Jeff also be there.

At first he suggested Harrison but that would mean explaining what was going on, which I argued until my face was blue before he agreed on Jeff instead since he already knew the situation. It didn't make me happy but it was hard to argue. The more people there, the less likely anything will happen to us.

By the time we brought Jeff up to speed, we only had twenty minutes before I must be out front. Max dismissed us telling us to meet him back here in ten minutes so we could go change. The plan is to wear our uniforms so that the black will help conceal the guys until the right time.

We drop off Jeff but Eric doesn't bother going inside. He still has a spare uniform in my cabin. As we get to the cabin, I am starting to get worried by Eric's silence. He hasn't said a word since we left Max's office.

He goes straight to his clothes and start changing so I follow his lead and do the same. There isn't a reason for me to wear black too but after our workout, I was all sweaty so I figured I might as well. Grabbing the brush, I put my hair up into a pony tail and quickly braid it. If something does go down, I don't want it in my way.

As I turn back around, Eric is standing leaning up again the wall staring at me but this time it is not challenging me. This time there is nothing but concern in his face; maybe a little bit of uncertainty.

"Promise me."

I look at him confused. "Promise you what?"

"Promise me you will do exactly as I say. That you won't stray from the plan." He walks towards me and only stops once he's mere inches from me. His eyes beg for me to follow his command.

"I promise."

He takes my face in his hands. "I'm serious babe. You can't freeze up. I need you fully compliant. If I tell you to move, you need to hear me and act. Promise me you will be focused."

"Everything is going to be okay, I promise." I don't know if I am trying to convince him or myself. I'm praying the words I tell him are the truth. That his presence will help me stay calm and not freeze in fear.

His lips cut off my thoughts. Instead of tender and sweet, it is hard and lustful. Like this might be the last time he sees me. My hands find his hair and I am lost in him.

He lifts me and pins me to the wall as I wrap my legs around him. "I can't lose you. I swear I will keep you safe" His breathless voice breaks our kiss.

"You're not going to lose me and I am not going to lose you. This is going to work."

He looks deep into my eyes. "I love you always. No matter what."

"I love you too."

Our foreheads fall together and we breath in each other. It almost feels like goodbye but I refuse to believe this is it. We are going to get through this.

"Come on. We're going to be late." He breaks away first slowly lowering me back to the ground. "I'm serious, don't stray from the plan, not even a little bit."

"I won't. I promise."

Finally satisfied he takes my hand and we head back toward Max's office, picking up Jeff on the way. The closer I get to going out there, the more nervous I get.

This plan will work, I know it. As we get to the office and Max is all ready to go. He was already in uniform, he only had to put on his jacket.

"Dani. If this starts going downhill, you get behind us. Do not hesitate, you do not get near him, and if he come at you, I expect you to fall back. Do you understand?"

"Yes Max. I will be careful. I promise."

"Alright, it's time." He says and I move to walk out the front door but I am stopped by Eric.

"Be careful and don't forget, I am right behind you." Completely out of character he gives me a soft comforting kiss causing me to freeze and look to Max and Jeff who both turn away quickly. "Give us thirty seconds and then go. Remember, no more than twenty feet from the door." He whispers and I nod letting him know I understand.

The three guys head out to the back door to head around the side of the building where they can hide in the shadows. No turning back now. _I can do this._

I open the door and step outside trying to regulate my breathing. Eric is right, I cannot freeze. I need to stay alert.

The night is chilly and dark. The moon is hidden by the clouds leaving only the couple of lights on the outside two buildings to light the parking lot. Peaking at my watch, it is exactly eight o'clock. Maybe he won't come.

Now that it is real, I wish I did just hallucinate it all. What's worse is that I am putting everyone in danger now that they know. I pray this plan works and they can capture him. Eric is a scary man and if he gets his hands on him, there is a big chance I will never have to see him again.

The noise is the first thing that draws my attention. I can hear the tires on the rocks. Straining my ears, I can hear the low hum of an engine but I see no head lights. They must be off and the lights from the building only reach about thirty feet away from the building.

Likely why Eric had pushed the twenty-foot rule. He wanted to be sure he could see me. In the dimness beyond me a silhouette of a car comes into view going very slow. After a moment, I can see that it is the back end of the car. _Smart!_

He made it so that he didn't have to turn around. Just as I am able to make out the car it comes to a stop. My heart beat begins to pound stronger in my chest. The car door opens and he steps out but leaves the car running.

My chest begins to get heavy and I try to breathe through it. The guys are right behind me. They see what I see and it would only take Eric seconds to get to me. _I can do this!_

"I knew you would make the right choice." His voice carries to me. "Come on, let's not make this a big deal. Get in the car."

"I…" I lose my words as the fear begins to creep in. _Breathe, breathe._

"Get in the car. Don't make me wait."

The battle between my body and mind goes into full swing. "I… I can't."

"You can and you will. Don't make me come get you or you will be punished. Now do as your told!"

I'm frozen in place but it's okay because I want him to come closer into the light so the others can see him. So they can hopefully grab him, but he is rooted in place next to the running car. I need to draw him out; be smarter than him.

I need him to get angry and come forward. Inhaling a deep breath, I take a step forward. In the darkness, I think his lips turn up into a smile and I pause. The slightest movement alerts me to Eric's worry. He specifically didn't want me too close but it is necessary for this to work.

I begin shaking my head and take a step back causing him to step forward with me. "What are you doing?" He says in anger bleed from his words. "Do you want to be punished?" My hands follow the outline of his hands as he quickly unbuckles his belt and pulls it from his waist in one quick movement.

My chest begins to heave again. The last time, it was bad. So bad it hurt to even wear my clothing. Phantom pain shoot through me like it was yesterday. "Get. Over. Here." He commands as he takes another step closer; his face now visible in the low light.

 _Back!_ I need to step back, that is the plan to draw him out but I'm frozen in fear staring at the belt that hangs from his hand. I barley register as he takes another step and then another.

 _Move!_ I scream at myself but my body feels like a ton of lead. He is only a few feet from me, the plan was to walk back as he walked forward but now I can't move.

 _Eric is behind me; he will keep me safe, now MOVE!_

"Get in the fucking car or I will make you sorry." He raises his hand that holds the belt and takes another step forward but pauses and looks over my shoulder. "You stupid little whore. I told you what would happen. Mark my words you will be mine."

Before I can comprehend what is happening, he leaps back toward the car and gets in the driver seat just as Eric, Max and Jeff all fly past me. Their efforts are useless, the car peels out just as Eric reaches the back.

"Fuuucccck!" He screams as the sound of the car fades into the dark.

* * *

 **Ahhhh. So what do you thing? All reviews and comments are welcome. Be interested in your thoughts. Starting to write the next one. We will see how quick I can get it down and out of my head. As always, you guys are the greatest for continuing to read and follow this story. Until next time!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello, hello! I got another chapter for you and it is from Eric's POV (I love writing these). Hope it is all you were waiting for. Enjoy!**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 18**

 _(Tuesday, March 14th)_

 **ERIC POV**

"Dude. What we doing?" Jeff ask from the back seat.

If he didn't know what this asshole looked like I would have left him back at camp. Dani's going to go ballistic when she finds out what we're doing and bringing Jeff along only digs my hole that much deeper. On the other hand, he is probably just as dedicated to getting a little revenge. His love for Dani doesn't rival mine but there's no doubt she has part of his heart and likely always will; something I've come to terms with.

"I would be interested in the answer as well." Harrison says from beside me.

This probably wasn't the best idea but no going back now. Her safety is the only thing I care about right now. With him out there, she will always be in fear and I won't be able to function knowing she's in danger. When Max finds out I took Jeff, Harrison and Paulo out looking for him, he is going to have my ass too but I don't care.

Besides, they didn't put up much fight when I invited them to take a ride with me. Hopefully that will divert a little heat off me when I face Max to explain why we all left in the middle of the night. He didn't exactly say we couldn't leave, but I know him well enough to know it was implied.

Paulo hits the back of my chair. "Earth to Eric!"

"Fuck off Paulo." The fact that I could get them to leave with me without explanation was a miracle in itself, but I gather they already know they are going to get more information out of me. The thing is they are right because to as much as I hate asking for help, she's more important. If this is how I can make this right, then that is what I am going to do. "I am going to fill you guys in a few details about our lock down."

"Eric!?" Jeff almost shouts as he grabs the back of my seat. "You can't do that."

"I don't have a choice." Jeff and Paulo both share my need to protect her so they will understand and stand with me.

Unfortunately, Harrison wouldn't let us leave without him. Everyone decided to play poker tonight. We were the last ones up playing; everyone else had gone to sleep. Most of us are all bunking in the main dorms since the doors have heavy duties locks on them and high windows that don't open. Security measures that were put in place to lock down cadets not lock in the staff, but it is proving to be handy.

Tori is staying in her cabin since Bud agreed to come and stay at the camp but Max requested Harrison also join us in the dorms. Sort of a hypocritical move being he is remaining in his own cabin, but then again he has the one and only gun we keep in the camp.

"She will skin you alive if you tell them." He's right, she's going to be pissed but her safety trumps that right now.

"Tell us what?" Harrison and Paulo say in unison.

Focusing my eyes straight ahead on the road, I try to calm the nerves in my stomach that are telling me I shouldn't do this. Here goes nothing. "This lockdown isn't about a disgruntle cadet, it's about Dani. Someone from her past that hurt her has come back. He's threatening her and those she cares about which includes the staff members."

"You mean what happened when she was a kid; what causes her nightmares." My eyes dart over to Harrison then to Jeff.

"You fucking told him!?" Anger boils up in me even though I am no better. He has the nerve to question me when he already opened his big mouth.

"I didn't tell him what happened to her." He tries to defend himself quickly. "I only told him that something bad happened when we were kids. He was curious the night you two got in that fight at the party and she came to me after having a nightmare."

 _Fuck!_

How can I forget that night? I was so worried when I couldn't find her. Then I find her in another guy's bed, in a room with two half naked men. Not that I believed she would do anything with him but I still didn't like it.

"What the hell are you guys talking about?" Paulo almost whines being the only one with no clue to what we are talking about.

Taking a deep breath, I can only hope she forgives me for this. "When Dani was younger…"

"Eric." Jeff interrupts. Rightfully he is worried but this is what makes sense. If they are going to be in on this, they deserve to know the basic facts.

"Jeff, I will take her ire for this. If they are going to be in on this, they should know why we are doing it."

He lets out a deep sigh and sits back giving in. "It's your funeral dude."

"That bad huh?" Harrison's full attention is on me.

"When she was younger, she was abused by a teacher at the summer camp she attended." My breathing picks up on instinct as I see Harrison's eyes grow wide and I try not to grit my teeth as I continue. "He spent the whole summer exposing himself to her, touching her, threatening her, and beating her. Very few people know about it. She's buried it deep and has tried to forget about it."

"Is that why she reacts so violently to touch?" Harrison guesses with a quiet, rattled voice. I answer giving him a nod. "How old was she?"

She was just a kid. A helpless little kid that now blames herself over and over for something she had no control over. It pains me to my very core thinking of how scare she must have been, how much pain she had to endure, it's sickening.

"Nine." Jeff finally speaks up when I don't answer. "She was only nine fucking years old when that bastard hurt her. The last time was so bad, I couldn't touch her for a week without her flinching in pain. She'd come to me seeking refuge after he left her room; she needed comfort as she did most nights he visited her.

But that night for some reason he came back. Something he never did or she would have never chance it; her room was empty. He found her curled in a ball on my bed as I tried to calm her. Dragging her from my room, he locked me in. I tried and tried to get out but it was useless. I couldn't save her; I tried so hard but it was hopeless." A tear falls down his cheek as he turns to look out the window. "After that night no one could even lay a finger on her without her freaking out."

"Christ!" Harrison shakes his head but stops suddenly looking back to me. "Are you telling me this teacher is here?"

"That is exactly what I am telling you."

"But how? She's from Chicago. What's he doing here?" His is disbelief is showing through but it's hard to blame him.

It took a minute for me to wrap my head around it too. Ultimately it was my fault. We went to Chicago because of me, because of my family. The whole situation still boggles my head. The chances of us just running across him is a one in a million.

"He followed us here from the trip we took there. Somehow he saw her and followed us back. He's been lurking around for a while. She thought she was hallucinating at first but he's here."

He concentrates hard on a point in front of him before he opens his mouth. "How do you know she isn't hallucinating? Abuse has been known to cause PTSD; hallucinations are a side effect."

Jeff angrily comes to her defense before there's a chance to answer. "He's not a hallucination and she is not crazy. He threatened her and tried to get her to leave with him. We saw him when he came to take her away!" For a moment, I wonder if he is so angry because he thought she was hallucinating at first too. Hell, I'm guilty of it myself. "He also is the one responsible for her brother being beaten within an inch of his life." He adds a little calmer.

"Damn, that is some heavy shit. So, what are we doing and why aren't we going to the police?" His questioning is starting to get on my nerves but it's important he's on our side so I appease him with an answer.

"Apparently, he has friends in high places. She's afraid she'll have to tell the world about what happened just to have him convince everyone she's a liar and sweep it under the rug. We tried to reason with her but she is adamant it will only make things worse and after a lot of thought I concluded she may be right. So, we are going to find him and deal with this ourselves."

"And you expect us to just go along with this." His smugness pisses me off.

I'd expected it would be just Jeff and Paulo but I was put into a bind when it got late and he was still awake with no sign of retiring for the night. "You do what you want. But I know these two and they care for her almost as much as me."

"Yep." Jeff says.

"Damn straight!" Paulo adds.

"Why did you bring me?"

For as smart as he claims to be, he always seems to be clueless. "To keep you from tipping us off to Max. Besides, even you seem to have a soft spot for her. All that time you spent buddying up to her. I'm hoping you will want to justice just as much as us." He still shows interest in her all though his intentions changed dramatically since he found out we were together.

He's quiet for a minute as I pull into The Brick's parking lot. It's the most popular bar in the area; I figure this is the best place to start. I'm sure someone must have seen or knows something.

"Fine. I'll help but I'm here to make sure you don't kill him. It won't be helping Dani if all of you end up in jail." He opens the door to exit the car. "Or in prison." He mutters as he steps out.

That's okay with me. He's right, I can't leave her and if he needs to be here to stop me from killing him, then so be it. After what happened with Sean, I'm not sure I could stop once I started and the more people looking for this asshole the better.

As we walk into the bar, I nod to the old man who sits at the door checking . We're locals so he lets us right in without asking for ours. It's just after midnight but there are more people here than normal considering it is the weekday. My eyes automatic scan the room for people I know.

Matthew is working tonight so I decide to start with him. I take a seat at the bar and tell Jeff and Paulo to go check the back and other room. Harrison sits down beside me.

"Hey Eric. What can I get you?" Matthew ask as I turn toward the bar.

He gives Harrison an odd look. The town is small and outsiders stick out like a sore thumb which is exactly what I am counting on. With this being a tourist spot, I'm hoping he has been lurking around.

"Actually I just stopped by to ask a few questions." His eyebrows raise at me. If I was an outsider, his lips would be sealed but this town loves to gossip among its residents. "Have you seen an older gentleman poking around these last few weeks that just seem to be more than the normal passing by tourist."

He smirks at me but there is irritation in his eyes. "You must be talking about that ignorant prick that has been asking about the camp."

 _Fuck!_

I'm on my feet in an instant and it takes all my strength to keep me from jumping over the bar and grabbing him. If it wasn't for Harrison pulling at my arm, I may have actually done it. This is what I was hoping for but deep down, I didn't have much hope.

"You've seen him..." Pausing, I fully comprehend what he just said. "Wait, asking about the camp?"

"Yeah. He has been in a few times asking around about it trying to be slick or something." He pauses as a guy at the counter ask for another beer and he quickly grabs a glass, filling it with the beer on tap.

This is not a time to test my patience. "Meaning what?"

"You know, trying to act like he was concerned a bunch of delinquents were running around over there without any security measures. Barrett quickly defended Max's camp but the more the guy talked, the more you could tell he was fishing for information rather than just being concerned."

The manager, Barrett, is a good friend of Max's. No surprise that he jumped to defend him. "When Barrett figured out what the guy was doing, he told him that the camp was welcome here and that he wasn't. After a few more choice words, he eighty-sixed him and the guy left without a fight. I haven't seen him in here since, but a few other people have seen him around."

Jeff and Paulo come to stand behind us; Jeff giving me that look that tells me they didn't find anything worth mentioning, growing my frustration. "Like who?"

"He has been around The Cottage and even up at the Old Number Three asking around, but don't worry, no one is going to talk to some outsider sniffing around."

"When was he here? Do you know if he is staying around here?" I need something to nail him down. He has to be staying somewhere and there are only a few hotels in town.

"It was about two or three weeks ago but I haven't heard about him at the hotels. Then again, I've been working a lot and haven't been hanging out with the girls. Speaking of, now that you got a permanent girlfriend we don't see much of you."

Completely ignoring his comment, I push to get my own answers. "Did he ask about her?"

"The stranger?" I nod impatiently. "Not her specifically, but he asked if there was a new female employee that was from Chicago. Barrett and I both knows she is and it was what tipped Barrett off that he wasn't who he appeared to be."

"Anything else he said that didn't sit right with you?"

"Just that he seemed really interested in the security of the camp. Barrett did tell him that there were cameras before he realized what was going on. What's this guy's deal? Is he a reporter or something?"

It's probably better that most people don't know what we are up too. Just in case this does end badly. "We heard someone was around getting nosy. Just want to make sure he isn't making trouble for us. Max worked hard to get the camp a good name in this town and we don't want someone coming in and disrupting that. If you see him or hear he is around again, can you give me a call?"

"Sure thing."

"Thanks man." We shake hands and we all make our exit. My heart is racing a hundred miles an hour. I didn't think we would get that lucky so quickly but it isn't enough. There must be others who have seen him or know where he is staying. The urge to find him is weighing heavily on me.

"Where too now?" Harrison ask once we're are back into the car. Without putting much thought into it, I head toward the Cottage. It's the only other real hangout spot outside of the bars.

Our initial luck doesn't to seem to be following because there are only a few cars in the parking lot. As we enter the restaurant there is mostly staff with a few scattered tables of customers but Kate is on duty lifting my spirits a little. She is extremely chatty, especially when she is shown any amount of attention. Her eyes find me and light up the minute they touch me. We all take a seat at the counter.

"Well hello Eric. We've missed you. It's been a while since you been in see us. What can I get you?" Her words are laced with double meaning as she looks me up and down almost drooling with lust. Both Jeff and Harrison's eyes question me while Paulo smiles. I've been a little more than a friend to her and another waitress on a few occasions.

The first time I brought Dani here she was working and when she saw me kiss Dani, I thought she was going to jump over the counter and attack her. My thoughts weren't on her at the time, it was on the asshole sitting next to Dani, but her face was full of hatred after seeing that. I'm not sure why because I have always made it clear with every girl I've been with that monogamous relationships aren't my thing. Some women tend to be better at excepting it than others.

But right now, I need answers and the nicer I am to her, the more likely I will get the answers I am looking for. Sometimes she can be a little juvenile and after the way she acted when I was with Dani, it is going to take a little finesse. Playing it smooth, I order us all coffee giving my signature smile.

"Sure thing." She bites her lip grinning as she turns to go get our coffee.

"Do I want to know?" Jeff ask. I'm about to answer when Paulo answers for me.

"He had a thing going with Kate and this other waitress Sarah before he met Dani." Jeff's eyes go wide and I punch Paulo in the arm. Not sure why he insist on airing out my laundry.

"Two huh?" Harrison sounds impressed but Jeff looks pissed.

"Multiple times."

"Paulo, if you don't shut the fuck up, I'm going to lay you out." Looking toward Jeff, I try placate his emotions. "As he said it was before Dani and things are different now. I would never do anything to hurt our relationship, but getting answers out of Kate are going to take a little charm." I warn giving him a heads up to my intentions. While she doesn't mind sharing, she doesn't take rejection well.

Kate returns and I put my smile back on. Jeff takes his coffee and puts his head down concentrating on the spotless counter. After all this time, he still has his doubts or maybe he still feels it's a betrayal.

"How have you been Kate?" I ask trying to keep her interested.

"Better now that you're here. What's the occasion? You don't typically stop by during the weeknights unless you need of something." She hit dead on with her words but her thoughts are totally out in left field.

"Actually I do need something." Her eyes light up and she gets all giddy. Geez, was she always this bad? "I need to ask you some questions. It's really important to me." Lightly I run my finger over her hand and look up to her with just my eyes.

She almost melts to the floor. "You can ask me anything."

Sometimes my charm comes in handy. Jeff huffs beside me while Harrison and Paulo try to hold in their laugh, but I have her just where I want her. Ignoring them, I focus on getting her to answer my questions. "Have you had anyone in here asking around about us at camp."

"Yeah, mostly about you." My heart picks up. "Everyone knows you're up here but no one has seen much of you." She sticks out a pouty lip. "How come you don't come hang out with us anymore?"

Let down. For a moment, I thought she had seen him. "I meant strangers Kate. Have there been any strangers around asking questions?" Is she really this dull? It takes a lot of restraint to keep the smile on my face and not scowl at her.

"Oh… no not really." She answers obviously confused and doesn't continue without prompting.

My patience with her is wearing thin. "Not really?"

"Well some of the girls said there was this old geezer asking about the camp but they mostly just gave him the cold shoulder. Then last night some stranger came in all pissed off. He kept mumbling to himself and staring at me. It was creepy. From how they described him, I think it may be the same guy they were talking about."

"About what time?"

"I don't know – maybe around 8:30 or so. He was all mad until he saw Maddie, she was hosting last night." He must have come here after leaving the camp. That was a brave move. We could have called the police, or came looking for him; it's like he isn't afraid of getting caught. Maybe Dani is right about him having friends in high places.

"Sarah's little sister?" Paulo questions pulling my attention back. _Little sister?_

"Yeah. That is what is so creepy. She's barely fifteen and he had to been like forty. After he saw her, he wouldn't stop staring at her. His eyes followed her where ever she went. He was trying to act all discreet about it but it was pretty clear he was interested in her. Like I said creepy. Maddie was going to walk home but Sarah called their brother to pick her up because it freaked her out too."

"Do you have a picture of Maddie?" Jeff ask.

She looks him up and down and she trains her attention on him. "And who might you be cutie."

"Sorry, I'm being rude. This is Jeff, he's a new instructor at the camp." I clap him on the shoulder and give it a shake. His good nature gets him to smile at her. She is pretty hot and there is no way he is completely oblivious to it. Maybe she will lay off me and he can have a good time for himself. Lord knows that boy needs to loosen up.

"Welcome." She smiles overly kindly at him. She pulls out her phone from her back pocket and scrolls through a few pictures, selects one, then hands him the phone."

We all huddle around the phone looking at the picture. She is cute, medium length darker hair, beautiful smile, youthful face. Though she almost doesn't even look old enough to be working.

"She kind of looks like a younger Dani." Jeff says sourly as we exchange a look. He's right, they look very similar and it makes me sick to my stomach. Knowing the kind of man he is, it was probably a very good thing she didn't walk home by herself. She may have never made it.

"Who's Dani, your girlfriend?" Kate ask a little disappointed.

I push ignoring her question to Jeff. "What happened after that?"

"After Maddie left, he sat here drinking coffee for a couple of hours. Sometimes he was texting but mostly he just stared out the window like he was deep in thought. Then he left suddenly without a word. Didn't even bother leaving a tip; just the lousy dollar for his coffee." She rolls her eyes frustrated. "The least the creep could have done was left me a tip for letting him stare at my ass half the night. Anyways, that was it. He hasn't been back. Why?"

"That's it, you didn't see what he was texting or anything did you?" My frustrations getting the better of me.

"No why? Eric what's up? Who is he?"

"Does it bother anyone else that she looks like Dani?" Jeff ask as he still stares at the picture on the phone.

"Why does it matter that she looks like your girlfriend?" She grabs her phone out of Jeff's hands he looks at her crazy, shocked by what she just said.

"She's not his girlfriend." I snap without thinking. "She's _mine!_ "

Her face falls then molds into a 'go fuck yourself' look as she realizes my game. "I see. Well I can't just stand around here talking; I'm busy. Let me know if you need a refill." It looks like that is all we are getting out of her tonight. Putting the phone back in her pocket she walks away toward one of the few occupied tables to busy herself.

"She's right about one thing. It is creepy as hell! I would hate to imagine what would have happened if that girl left here alone." Harrison shakes his head and he just hit on what I am sure we are all thinking.

Feeling bad for leading her on, I leave Kate two twenties for our four-dollar coffee bill and we head out even though we barely touched our coffee. None of us seem in the mood and this new revelation just creates a deeper need to find him. If he can't have Dani, nothing is stopping him from praying on some other young girl.

We decide to visit a few more places around town that are still open early in the morning but we're not able to get much more information. When we stop at only open gas station Eddie was working and didn't know who I was talking about. The girls at the Old Number Three gave me a similar story to what Matthew gave me, but none of them were as open to the outsider so they couldn't tell me anything. No one at the hotels have seen him either which means he is either staying in a private rental or he is staying in a different town. The closest one with a hotel is over 30 miles away.

Harrison smirks at me as we leave the last hotel. "You sure do get around, don't you? You hold the attention of a lot of the girls around here." We ran into another old fling at the last hotel. She didn't bother hiding her attraction to me.

"I have a past here, but it's in the past so let's drop it." Harrison looks back toward Jeff who seems to be at the end of his rope for tonight.

"You better hope Dani hasn't woken up." Jeff snaps at me a few minutes later as we pull back into the camp.

"That is one thing I don't have to worry about."

"Why is that?" Harrison asks.

"She had a headache before bed and I switched out Valium in place of Tylenol. She'll be out for at least a few more hours."

"You drugged her!"

I figured he of all people would have been appreciative that she was getting some peaceful rest. "Jeff, she hasn't slept in two days and with everything that has happened, she was refusing to go to sleep. Hell, can you blame her? You and I both know she would have been screaming herself awake the moment she fell asleep. I had to give her something; she's exhausted and she would never agree to take it on her own. She hates taking meds; in her mind, they make her look weak."

The anger in his face softens as he takes in my words. He knows I'm right. Just thinking about the sound of her screaming herself awake sends shivers down my spine. We walk back to the dorm in silence.

Using the master key, I let us back into the dorms. Earlier I had walked around and locked up all three exits to make sure everyone inside was safe. The only other people with keys is Tori and Max. I also checked the cameras a few times from my phone while we were gone to make sure nothing was out of the ordinary.

Inside, everything is dead quiet. Dani is still fast asleep on my bed while Marlene is asleep on Paulo's. Will and Chris are passed out on Zeke's bed which he graciously agreed to give up while he slept in the cadet dorm along with Uriah. Part of me thinks he just wants to keep an eye on Uriah. The kid doesn't know how to stay out of trouble and if there is danger, it's the brotherly thing to do.

Jeff on the other hand was ordered to give up his bed to Harrison by Max. He didn't seem too happy about having to give up his bed but it is the polite thing to do. Max is always big on manors and respect.

Sitting down next to Dani, I push her hair off her face. She looks more peaceful now that she is resting in a deep sleep. With everything she has been through, she deserves a little peace. It's impossible to comprehend how she continues to deal with all the bad shit that life throws at her. I've had it hard but none of it compares to what has been through.

Paulo, Harrison and Jeff say their goodnights and head to bed. I set up my tablet up next to my bed with the cameras in and around the dorms alternating across the screen. Then I crawl into bed wrapping myself around her. It still blows my mind how we seem to fit together perfectly, even as unperfect as we are as individuals.

I want so much for this to be over. Her sanity is on the edge of breaking and no one would be able to blame her if she did go over. We all feel bad for thinking she was seeing things but then again, so did she. She honestly thought she was going crazy making our assumptions not quite as bad.

All I wish is for her to be happy. To be able to live without fear, without worry. Suffering through life thus far, it is only fair that she be able to enjoy life, preferably with me. I will do what I must to make sure it happens for her. Even if I have to kill this fucker to get him out of her life.

* * *

 **Yippy. A little look into Eric going a bit crazy and a little look into his past. Hope you all liked it. Let me know what you think of how Eric is dealing with this. All reviews and comments always welcome. Until next time!**


	19. Chapter 19

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language, and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

 **I am so very sorry to Everyone of my fans. I know it has been a long time since I updated but I am bound and determined to get this finished in the next few weeks as the original story is about to be published. I wouldn't dream of releasing it without fulfilling my promise to you guys to finish this series for all of you to read.**

 **For those of you I haven't been communicating with, there has just been one bad bump in my world after another. I am so very sorry that this wasn't finished sooner but with the bad place I was in, I couldn't get my thoughts down on paper. For those of you constantly checking up on me, thank you! It means the world to me. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 19**

 _(Tuesday, March 14th)_

Damn, I feel like I have already run a marathon and PT this morning was only a light workout. My whole body has been dragging all morning. Several of the guys look a little tired too, but I know they were up later playing poker.

I must look a little off because even Jeff asked how I was feeling. Maybe my body is more exhausted than I realized. On the plus side, I somehow managed to sleep without any dreams. Up to the last moment, I fought sleep fearing what might show up, in the end, no dreams came at all. A little reprieve in my constant torment.

Everyone else seems a little on edge this morning. The staff must have taken Max's warning to heart, but the way everyone seems to be acting is putting me off. It's bothering me that several of the guys seem to be walking on eggshells around me. I expected this from Eric or even Jeff, but why Paulo and Harrison seem to be sharing the same concerned looks has me at a loss. Their knowledge of this situation like everyone else is limited. Max kept his promise to keep my past as quiet as possible, but it's almost as if they know I'm in danger or maybe they have an inkling that I am at the center of this.

Thinking about it, I don't think I've been alone once so far this morning, other than my shower after PT. Naturally, Eric tried to join me, and as much as I wanted him to, it would be inappropriate. Almost everyone is staying in the dorms which means we all share the same bathroom getting ready. If he joined me something inappropriate was bound to happen, and I wasn't having that with others in the same room.

"I know it is my job, but I always hated doing laundry," Chris says from beside me as we fold the sheets that just came out of the dryer.

She's not the only one. Living in an apartments growing up, my sister and I always got stuck doing everyone's wash at the laundry mat. The washing part isn't the part that sucks; all the folding is what is a pain in the ass. "Trust me, I understand."

"So, are you going to finally fill me in on the details of what is going on?" Leave it to Chris to be blunt and just come out and ask instead of ignoring the elephant in the room.

"Why do you say that? What makes you think I know?" Hopefully, the calm tone will throw her off.

"Seriously? You always know! In fact, lately, you always seem to be in the middle." She catches her tongue and quickly continues. "Not to say that you are in the middle of this. I'm just saying you seem to have some bad luck or something with all the bad things that seem to happen to you."

Well, it's the truth. I know it, and it shouldn't surprise me that so does everyone else. As much as I wish it weren't the case, I can't deny all the trouble around lately always has me at the center. "Like Max said, there were threats against the staff here."

She purses her lips at me. "I figured that much; Max isn't one to lie, but something tells me you have more details then that. Even if you aren't in the center of it, your man is always in the know of everything that goes on here. He acts like he owns the place half the time."

Can't deny that either. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if Eric was watching us right now. "Max said he doesn't want us talking about it. I'm new, so it isn't in my best interest to defy his orders." Well, it is sort of accurate. He didn't want everyone to panic and said to keep the details to ourselves unless he felt it needed to be said.

She glares at me and slams the folded sheet on top of the finished pile. Good, now maybe she will drop it. Well for a while anyway. The rest of this week is not going to be easy; it's only Tuesday, and even though the cadets just left two days ago, it feels like a month.

It still worries me what we are going to do once we leave. Max is hesitant to let anyone depart before they find the source of our current threat; although I don't know how they are going to locate him. Max has been locked in his office pretty much since he found out, no one is allowed to leave, and we don't even know if he is still around.

He can't keep us here forever but a few times so far today, I have worried about what leaving here means. At least being here together, we can help protect one another. After that, we are all on our own other than the few of us that have significate others.

What if he hurts them? It would be all my fault. As much as I hate to admit it, I still have that nagging feeling that I should just leave to keep them all safe. But even trying to do that seems impossible with everyone keeping such a close eye on me. I doubt it would be possible sneak out of here without anyone seeing me. Will has also spent a lot of time in the office on Max's order. It's probably safe to bet that he has been ordered to keep track of everyone in camp, me in particular.

Then there is Eric's unusually odd pissed off mood. He had a meeting with Max early this morning. By the way, he exited the office with a pissed off look; it's safe to say he got in trouble for something or Max is going against Eric on something. Unfortunately for me, they're both giving me the silent treatment.

Paulo walks in as we fold the next sheet. "Chris, I'll take over here helping. You and Mar can start lunch; she is waiting for you on the steps."

"Good. I much rather cook then do this."

"Hey, at least you don't have to clean all the gym equipment. Worse job ever, and to make matters worse, I am stuck doing it with Zeke on Thursday." Paulo whines.

She laughs. "Your right, I think that is worse. I will stick to laundry." She hands me the sheet and heads out the door.

Paulo comes around the table with the pile of clean sheets sitting on it and empties the dryer that just went off. It's a good thing we have multiple washer and dryers otherwise this would take weeks instead of just days. Although we throw out the clothing with stains or tears, it still is a lot when you are doing a weeks' worth of laundry for twelve people including their bedding. Throw in all the employee's stuff, and it turns into a mountainous pile of smelling laundry.

"How are you doing?" Paulo asks me as we begin folding a sheet off the pile. I don't like this. He is oddly somber and almost glum. It also is making me wonder how much he really knows. If Eric confided in anybody, it would be Paulo, but he wouldn't have told him this. The only way to tell him how serious this is would be to explain to him what happened to me; Aerick wouldn't do that. So, what the hell is eating at him?

"I'm fine. Do you think these threats are credible?" If he is going to figure me out, I can return the favor. Maybe I can figure out how much he really suspects. Perhaps he is just assuming it is me just like Chris.

"I've known Max long enough to know that he doesn't overact. If he is worried, there is a good reason. So, don't go off and do anything crazy."

"Me? Crazy?" He rolls his eyes. I guess we are both have a foot in that boat, but my actions are more protective while his actions are just plain old nuts.

We both jump as his phone beeps, and he rushes to read the incoming message. After a quick glance, he starts contemplating something before facing me. "I need you to stay here for a few minutes."

Confusion momentarily clouds my mind. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure, but I need to go next door to the office. I'll be right back just don't go anywhere." With one more quick debate playing out on his face he rushes out of the building toward the office next door.

 _What now?_

How many more things can happen around here. It's all getting ridiculous. With a shake of my head, I slowly pick up another sheet and start folding. Of anywhere I feel safest here. It's not like something is happening within the camp. If that were the case, Eric would be here already.

Even as I think it, Eric enters the building. _Great, maybe I was wrong?_ "Is everything okay?"

The look I had just seen on Paulo's face is now mirrored on Eric's. "We just had three different maintenance shack alarms go off within a few minutes of each other. It's probably nothing, but we are going to check them out."

Fear fills my body. It's a trap I know it is. He is going to split them up and hurt them one by one. This is how he is going to get back at me. "Eric you can't go alone, it's not safe." Especially not for Eric.

"As much as I would love to argue, Max agrees."

"He does?" Thank the heavens; someone has a level head.

"Max insist we go in pairs."

Finally, I can help do something. It is driving me nuts just sitting here waiting for something to happen. "Okay, we can go together."

"Wait! You're not going anywhere. You need to stay here where it ss safe. I need you to go in with Will while we spread out and check this out."

I slam the folded sheet down. "You're kidding me, right?" I am being left behind again. Treated like a child. He takes a step closer to me, but I react by moving one back. They can't keep me locked up here all week.

"Babe, please. I need you to go next door and let us figure this out. Tori is still in town, Marlene and Chris are in the Mess Hall. Just go next door and with Will until we all get back. Or promise me you will stay in here. Max and Will have an eye on the camera's; I just need to know you are safe, please."

I hate when he gets like this, there is no way to say no when he pleads with me. "Fine, I will stay here. But for the record, this is stupid."

"I know you are probably right; likely just a malfunction. It's odd for all three to trigger within a few minutes of each other. They are too far apart for one person to trip them in that short amount of time. I'll be back soon. Stay in here!"

 _Bossy._ "Okay, okay, I get it." It's so frustrating when he acts like this.

He's probably right. I've been out to all the shacks, and there is no way someone could have triggered all the sensors in just a few minutes. Eric gives me a quick chastising kiss and leaves quickly.

Out the window, I can see the others waiting for Eric, and they all take off as soon as he reaches them. Eric, Paulo, Jeff, and Harrison go toward the trail that leads to two of the shacks, and Zeke and Uriah head out toward the other one. When they are out of sight, I head back over to the stack of sheets. It's going to take them a few to get to their destinations so I might as well keep myself busy or I might go crazy.

I just keep repeating in my head that it is nothing, but like the look I saw in Eric's face, neither of us honestly believe that. It would be a smart move other than the fact that there are still several people around, and we have cameras everywhere. With Max and Will manning the cameras, we should be safe. Deep down I know that isn't true either.

The clock on my wrist ticks away the minutes slowly as I finish folding the sheets. After looking at my watch for the twelth time in five minutes, I shake my whole body trying to release some of the tension. Why does time seem to go by so slow when you want it to speed up?

My stomach knots as I hear the door behind me that leads out to the front of camp open and close quietly. _Fuck me!_ It's just Will or Max; it has to be. There is no way the guys are back yet, but we hardly ever use that door. My feet turn me around slowly and the urge to vomit rises in my chest as the figure that entered stands no more than a foot from me.

"It's a beautiful sight seeing you working away in here. It's so…domestic. You're going to be a great little house wife. Doing what I want, when I want."

 _Is he fucking serious?_

I open my mouth to tell him exactly what I think about that, but he takes a step closer and lays his finger on my lips. "Ah, ah now. Don't go and let your nasty little mouth ruin this perfect little moment. I have other plans for that dirty mouth."

The grin on his face infuriates me. How can he think after all this that I would willing do or go anywhere with him? I smack his hand away. "Fuck off."

I'm pleasantly happy with how confident I sounded, but dread replaces my moment of happiness as anger builds in his face. His hand shoots up before I can react. A stinging pain erupts on my cheek, and he grabs me with a death grip on my bicep.

"What did I just say you little wench? You are going to learn to do as your told. I am tired of all this defying me. You're going to give up this act and come where you belong. Staying here is a lie. These people don't care about you, and he will never love you. He's using you."

"No, he's n..." Another flash of pain spreads along my other cheek.

"You're a still a slow learner. Don't interrupt me. Neither of you is too bright, are you?" I rub my burning cheek as he finally lets go of my arm, but he makes no move to remove himself from my personal space nor has the anger dissipated from his overbearing frame.

"I know he was out all night asking around about me. What does he think he can do? I know about his past; it would be easy as pie to bury him with what I know." His face twist into a wicked smile that makes my stomach drop. "I'll bet you don't even know."

"Did he tell you what he did to get sent here years ago? He's got one wicked temper on him. The photos in his file were quite gruesome. How long before he gets angry with you and lets out that temper. "

Eric was a juvenile when that happened. How did he get access to that? I thought juvenile records are sealed.

The tips of his disgusting fingers run across my shoulder. "He probably gave you some sob story about how his daddy hit him; how he never loved him. Maybe how his mother is a mindless feeble, only after his father for the money and cares nothing for her children. Is that how he got you in his bed? Did you feel sorry for him?" Eric never feels sorry for himself. He is stronger because of the childhood he had. He is a good guy.

"He isn't innocent you know. Did he tell you about all the girls he runs through; sometimes two at a time? How about tying up girls only to beat them so he can get off. The boy isn't capable of real love. He views woman as something to bide his time. He goes through them like a runner goes through shoes, sometime quicker. He has much more in common with me than you realize. Perhaps that is why you are with him; you missed me. Deep down, you like what I do to you; you know you do."

My stomach jumps to the ceiling then drops to the floor. He has to be lying; Eric isn't that way. Yes, he has been with women, but he has never enjoyed inflicting pain on me; it's been the opposite. "Lies, it's all lies."

"But it's not sweetness. You need to stop denying the truth and finally admit it to yourself. You want to be with me, and you know it. I gave you a chance to come with me, but instead, you told him. That hurt me."

He leans in lowering his voice, though pointless as it is just us two in the room. "I shouldn't, but I am giving you one last chance to make this right. I shouldn't, but I am going to. Meet me at the entrance of the driveway at 1 am, or everything, and everybody you love will disappear."

There is no reservation in my mind that he would be willing to do it just to hurt me, but could he really get away with it. As if reading my mind, he speaks again pushing down all doubts. "It was so easy to lure everyone away. A few time delayed contraptions that set off the alarms. Just like the game of 'Mouse Trap.' With all the blind spots in the camera's, it would be all too easy to trap each and every one of them; a bunch of little mice." Shivers spread up my spine.

My mind still can't comprehend why he wouldn't just take me and leave. There is no real reason why he hasn't with as many chances as he's had. There have been so many times when I was alone, and no one would have missed me for hours. His insistance of me doing it myself has to be some justifying fact that if I go on my own that it makes it okay, makes it right in some way. My only chance now is to stall and pray somebody comes in.

"I can't get out." I think about telling him how locked down we are, but on second thought, letting him know the details of our situation may hurt more than it helps.

"You're a clever girl. You have already proven that. You'll find a way." I open my mouth to argue but he raises his hand to smack me again, and I react covering my face before the blow can come. But it doesn't. Instead, there is a breeze, and when I look up, he is gone.

 _Fuck!_ I rush out the door, but he's disappeared. He knows about blind spots in the cameras. I'm well aquianted with them myself from when Eric and I use to have to sneak around. My chest is still heaving from the stress of the last few minutes, but it is less from fear and more from anger.

He fucking got away again. _Is this shit ever going to end?_

I close the door just as the other one opens. "You okay? Just wanted to check on you." Max says from the doorway that leads to the court yard.

All I want is to tell him what just happened but now I know this isn't going to end until I end it. If he knows what just happened, he is likely to put me in a locked room with twenty-four-seven security, and if I am going to do something, I can't be locked down. "I'm fine Max. Just nervous waiting for the guys to get back." I'm proud my voice stays steady. Not wanting Max to see my face, I stare out the window next to the door I'm standing in front of.

"Alright, just stay inside. The guyes didn't find anything, and they're heading back. It was probably just a glitch." _Or not._ I nod my head and wait for him to take it as a queue to leave; he does.

Things are getting worse. It's just a matter of time before he gets tired of playing games and either takes me or keep true to his word hurting everyone I know. Neither option has a flattering ending. I have to end this myself; on my terms.

* * *

The rest of the afternoon went by quickly. The guys all showed up with a mixture of relief and frustration. Eric checked on me, but his only clue that anything out of the normal was going on was when he questioned why I looked flush. Playing it off, I told him it was just the stress making me feel a little under the weather. It seemed to have worked.

As we lay in bed, I'm nowhere near tired despite the fact that it was just after eleven at night. Ever since the little encounter, somethings have been bothering me. The things he said about Eric, although I am sure he was lying it still bothered me to have those images in my head.

Watching everyone else during the day didn't help some of my own thoughts. The way Harrison and Paulo were watching me, how they acted around me. For the first time in a long time, I felt uncomfortable hanging out with friends. My suspicions are on high alert.

Eric shifts slightly behind me. It seems he's also restless. I wonder if he thinks this afternoon was a trick. Despite being in a room full of people sleeping, I need to put some of my thoughts to rest.

"Eric? You awake," He grunts behind me burying his face further into my hair. If nothing else, maybe I'm wrong.

"Where did you go last night?" His body tenses behind me but answers immediatley.

"I don't know what you are talking about." _HA._ Now I know he is lying. Instead of denying it, he put it back to me.

"I know you left last night. I woke up, and you were gone."

"Go to sleep babe; I know you didn't wake up."

"And how is that exactly?" I sit up and turn to face him. Something is majorly off here.

"I just do, now go to sleep." He turns away from me trying to settle into his pillow.

I attempt to keep as quiet as possible since everyone else is asleep, or at least faking it. "Who else went with you? Where did you go? I know Jeff was one but who else?" I bluffed.

It made since that Jeff would have gone with him if he went out searching for him. He was the only other one that knew the truth. But I had my suspicions it wasn't just them. "Paulo and Harrison went too," I say more as a statement than a question. Letting my mind work out loud.

His silence was my answer, and my anger explodes. They all left last night after I fell asleep. "Where did you guys go? Why don't you want to tell me, and how do you know I didn't' wake up?" Of this quick conversation that is the one thing throwing up the most bells in my head but I'm not sure why.

He finally turns back toward me. "Babe, it was nothing, please just go back to sleep." Ugh, this is so frustrating. If it were nothing, then he wouldn't be dodging the question. It isn't like I would be mad if he went to the bar and drank with the guys. Those words echoing in my head come to the forefront, 'I know he was out all night asking around about me.'

It all comes into focus. "You went out looking for _him_ last night."

Concern fills his masculine features. "You, Jeff, Harrison, and Paulo all went out last night looking for him." I put the pieces together. "That means you told them, didn't you? You told them what happened to me!"

"Dani…" I'm no longer able to hold back the anger and cut him off.

"No, you don't 'Dani' me. How could you tell them? It wasn't your place to let them in on my past." Unwanted tears spring out of my eyes at the feeling of betrayal. "And Jeff how could he do that to me."

Eric shakes his head. "Jeff didn't do anything, he tried to stop me, but they had a right to know what we were getting into going out to look for him. They needed to understand the danger you're in. They all care about you, and no one wants to see you hurt."

"Hurt? Don't you think this hurts me? You told people the most horrible, embarrassing, humiliating things about me. I trusted you, I trusted you to keep my secrets, and now everyone knows." I yell in a whispered scream. "How could you?"

Eric reaches for me but I scramble onto the cold floor beside the bed and panic fills his eyes as my shirt slips through his outstretched hand. "Babe, please calm down." He whispers.

Like everyone, he has betrayed me. I look for an escape but the door is locked, and everyone else must be asleep because no one is stirring at our quieted argument. As much as I was ready to walk out of this room, I still needed confirmation to my final question.

"You didn't answer my question. How did you know I wouldn't wake up?" Defeat bounces in his eyes. He grabs my hand trapping it between both of his and lightly strokes the back of it with his thumb.

"I just wanted you to get some sleep without the nightmares. I swear I didn't even think about leaving until you had already passed out."

I knew it. My tears give way to uncontrollable rage. "You gave me sleeping pills. All those time I told Marlene no, and you gave them to me anyway." His head falls in shame as it rightfully should.

"I just wanted to help, but your just so stubborn sometimes." I rip my hand away from his.

"Oh great, so you drug me and go off telling everyone my problems. In what reality does that seem okay Eric because to me it sounds like an overacting, overbearing, overprotective boyfriend that is putting his own feelings in front of mine." He remains quiet begging for forgivness with his eyes.

"You asshole." Grabbing his sweater that lying on the end of the bed, I head toward the bathroom.

"Babe…"

"Don't, just don't. If you knew what was best for you, you'd leave me alone for the night. I'm going to go sleep in the other room with Zeke and Uriah."

My body moves on its own into the other room before I can turn around and hit him just once in that beautiful face of his. My heart is pounding and clinched into a ball. Of all the things he could do, this feels like it may be the worst.

How could he tell them those things? And Jeff not stopping him. He above all knows how much I hate people knowing about my private life. The feeling compares to the cliché of getting in front of a group of people only to find out you are naked. That is how I feel, naked in front of all the people I care about.

Zeke and Uriah are sleeping on the bed closest to the bathroom, so I sit at one closest to the outside door. My fisted hands bury themselves in the mattress close to my thighs. The fucked up part is I know eventually I will forgive him, but it won't be happening anytime soon and definitely won't be happening tonight.

So many thoughts have been circling my mind over the last few hours. Eric's admission just throws a wrench right into the middle of them. At least it has made me more confident of my decision. It is the only way to stop all this, and it's the right thing to do. I'm surer of it now, more then ever.

* * *

 **Yeah, there it is... Were looking at a few more chapter so stay tuned and I promise the next chapter will be coming in the next week or so. Until next time!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Whoohoo... Here is the next one! Enjoy!**

This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language, and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 20**

 _(Wednesday, March 15th)_

" _I am the only one you can trust. All boys are just liars' girl. They will say whatever they can to make you do what they want. Boys don't love girls, they love to control girls, and that is why you can't trust them – any of them, only me."_

 _His rough hand runs down my arm and it takes everything in me not to shutter. The consequences of reacting poorly to his touch is painful. I have no desire to be beaten today, or for him to find some other way to use me. My only option is to stay as still as possible and hope his visit is quick and painless. Although there really isn't such word as 'painless.' The mental pain I am going through is almost as bad as the physical pain._

 _All I want is for this to end, for the summer to end, for my life to end. Is there any reason to continue this life? I am ruined. No one is going to want me after this. No one can protect me, I can't even protect me._

 _A slap to my thigh brings a wave of dread. He's had too much to drink tonight. He is always more ruff with me when he gets this way. I want so much to cry, but it will only make things worse. It's not fair, none of this is fair._

 _Why me?_

 _Why…_

 _Me!_

That wasn't the first time I have asked myself that question and tonight, more than likely, it won't be the last. My mind is exhausted at all these old memories resurfacing. The last time it was this bad was when I was ten.

The first few months after I got home were the worst. Not even my parents could touch me. Though my dad wasn't much of a hugger anyway, it worried the shit out of my mom. She asked a million times what was wrong, but I never told her – just gave her lame excuses. After a few months I was finally able to at least not flinch when my parents or siblings touched me, but there was nothing I could do about the memories.

All it took was a sound, or smell and my mind was instantly transported back to a ghastly memory of him. It wasn't until I heard the whispers of my mom on the phone to my aunt that I attempted to learn to block it out. Her words hit me like a ton of bricks that she was considering sending me to a therapist and how they would get me to talk.

The threat of having to tell someone what had happened frightened me more than anything. While it was stupid to be so scared of talking, it was what made me stronger. I learned to block out my memories and the harder I tried, the better I got. Denial was my best friend.

After a while, I was able to suppress a lot of it even to the point that my bad dreams began to go away, but it only fueled my anger problems. The more I put up walls around the memories, the more violent my reactions became. It came to a point where I just stopped being around people whenever possible to avoid the trouble. If no one was around to bother me, I had no reason to react. Unfortunately, I couldn't stay in a bubble forever.

The day that brought me here started like most days. I walk to school by myself and made it through the first few periods of the day without incident. Everything was fine until lunch came around.

Lunch was always hard for me. Too many people crammed into a small space didn't sit well with my nerves. Rainy days were worse because going out into the courtyard wasn't an option. As luck would have it, buckets of water were dumping over our city that day.

My only other option was to eat hallways where the choir kids would gather to practice on lunch, but I never made it that far. After carefully waiting for my lunch I took my tray to leave, only when I moved to exit the cafeteria, a group of kids were standing just outside the door blocking me from going down the corridor.

One of the popular seniors was laughing with his friends. Like everyone else, I knew who he was and he had a reputation of being a 'player.' The latest rumor had upset me quite a bit. One of my few friends had told me that her best friend's little sister, who was a freshman at our school, had found out she was pregnant.

She refused to tell anyone who the father was out of fear. Only I wasn't sure if it was fear that people wouldn't believe her, or fear because he had threatened her if she told. Unlike most people, I saw things that went on around me. In my attempt to keep people away, most people didn't notice me, giving me a chance to see what most others didn't.

I had seen him lure her away from people so that he could be alone with her. She would look at him with longing eyes when she didn't think people were looking, and when they did sneak away he would play the spell bound boyfriend. She was young and naive with no idea of what kind of guy he really was. A few of us knew who it was, but no one could prove it. Despite her life being ruined, he sat here laughing with his friends like he didn't have a care in the world.

I knew it was a bad idea to walk through him and his group of friends, but my only other choice would have been to stay in the overly crowed cafeteria which could possibly end bad anyway. So, I took my chances. Coughing to get their attention, I gave them an irritate look to get them to move.

He spit out one of his ridiculous comments about me finally giving into my feelings for him; it was nothing new. They say men always want what they can't have. My lack of falling over him is what attracted his attention to me. I was one of very few who didn't fall for his good looks and sweet talking personality. My constant shooting him down, only pushed him further in his quest.

Rolling my eyes, I told him "whatever" and pushed through the small gap a couple of the boys made. Apparently, he was ready to push the point that day. Perhaps he needed someone else to bide his time now that his old play toy was pregnant and he couldn't risk being seen with her.

As I walked past he stepped up next to me to whisper in my ear, "One day soon, I'm going to get in those pants. I promise you."

I tried to brush it off and not let it bother me, "Not in this lifetime."

I attempted to keep walking, moving away from him, but his friend step in my path as another one moved to my other side blocking me in. My chest started heaving as I felt his fingers move my hair back from my ear. "What is a little girl like you going to do to stop me?"

I'm not sure if it was devious tone or the words, but everything in me snapped. I don't remember a lot of those next few minutes, only my tray disappearing out of my hands and banging his head onto the ground before my brother pulled me off him.

* * *

My ass hurts from the lack of movement since I sat down. Part of me wishes Eric did come after me, but he knows better. When I'm this mad, I just need my space. Besides, even though I didn't plan it out quite the way it went, it worked perfectly.

As quietly as I can, I slide Eric's sweater over my head being careful of the keys that are in the pocket. When he locked up, he put them in his pocket. Normally he puts them in the night stand beside the bed, but he has been distracted all afternoon. Just before getting into bed he took off his sweater and through it over the end of the bed, not bothering to put his keys away.

I unlock the door as quietly as possible, trying not to wake the others in the room. A part of me is screaming to just stay, but this is it. If I don't do it now, this is just going to continue.

I've had so much time to decide what to do. My mind has played with so many possibilities and yet I am still not sure about what I'm about to do. Facing him, is going to be hard enough, but fighting back is going to be the ultimate road to my redemption. This may not work, but if there is even a small chance I can end this, I have to try.

Quietly and careful to avoid the cameras, I make my way to the supply cabin to pick up a few things. It would be stupid to go completely helpless. Using the master key, I help myself to a few things before I go out front. The supply cabin has a bit of everything and it only takes a few quick minutes to find what I need.

By the time I get out front, there is only a few minutes to wait. The deadline comes and goes as I start to get more antsy. Maybe he won't show up, maybe he gave up and left. _Yeah right!_

Dread spreads over my body as tail lights appear down the driveway where the trees line meets the parking circle. Heaviness falls on my chest, but I shake it off before my breathing can get erratic. _Here goes nothing!_

With no moon in the sky, the darkness of the night reflects the blackness working its way through my body right now. I force my feet forward until I am at the passenger side of the car that's waiting. It takes a heavy breath of fresh air to get my center and I get in the car.

"Hmm… bout time you came to your senses. We could have avoided all this trouble if you would have just done what your told. I hope you learned your lesson." Unable to speak I just nod slightly and look down at my knotted fingers that sit in my lap.

He seems satisfied and drives off. The car smells strongly of alcohol and it is starting to seem like this was a bad idea. _What the hell was I thinking?_

Too late to back out now, but more panic arises as we immediately get on the interstate on ramp for I-90 heading toward Seattle. We aren't sticking around, and the chances of me being able to get away are decreasing with every mile that falls behind us.

There really wasn't a plan per se but this was the least favorable outcome that ran through my mind. I try to ask where we were going, but nothing comes out of my mouth. I'm not ready to talk to him yet. It was taking all the strength in my body to keep from freaking out.

Besides, it's pretty clear we are heading toward Seattle. There are only three possibilities: we're heading for the Seattle-Tacoma international airport, heading north for the Canadian border, or heading somewhere south. However, if the plan was to go north or south, it probably would have been smarter to go east first. Going west will require us to go through big cities which we are more likely to be discovered. Then again, he has made it clear he has friends in high places and he isn't worried about being caught.

Not that anyone will know for a while that I'm even gone. Eric probably won't be up until four or five depending on well he slept. Then again, I don't want him coming after me either which reminds me. Carefully, so I don't make any big movements I pull my phone out of my jacket pocket and quickly turn it on airplane mode. I can't have Eric coming after me and putting himself in danger.

Movement in the corner of my eye makes me freeze. _Did he see me?_ I tilt my head slightly to get a better look as I see him take a flask out of his coat pocket, taking a healthy drink. Great, he is drinking and driving. If I'm really lucky he will just crash the car and end this himself, but I'm not holding my breath. On second thought if I could hold my breath it might keep the bile down from the sickening stench of alcohol.

We ride in silence for the next hour. Other than the occasional side glances at me and drinks from his flask, he focuses on the road. While I was grateful for the silence, then tension only grows and grows.

It is still dark when we exit the freeway near the airport. However, instead of continuing to the airport, we pull into a huge hotel that has to be at least 15 stories tall.

"What are we doing?" I ask sounding more timid than I wanted to, but at least I've finally found my voice.

"Our flight doesn't leave until later and we both need some sleep; besides I hate sitting in airports," he grumbles. _Leave where?_

At least we aren't leaving right away, this will give me some time to play out my plan; well my sort of plan. I'm not sure what to do and I am playing this by ear hoping it will all works out.

We pull up to the valet section and he gets out giving me a look to follow. Welcoming a break from the claustrophobic confines of the car, I hurry out of the car scurrying behind him trying not to draw attention to myself; this is not the time. I keep my head down letting my hair mostly shield my face.

He struts up to the counter flashing a smile like there isn't something majorly wrong with this situation. In an overly polite voice, he tells her he has a reservation and she slides a key onto the counter without further questions. It crosses my mind that he had already planned it. _What else does he have planned?_

The only thing that gives this an odd appearance is when she asks if we needed help with our luggage and he tells her that we don't have any. Seeing the confused look on her face, he swiftly follows up stating we are only staying for a few hours, but he doesn't bother saying we are just waiting for a flight.

Her eye dart to me making me feel extremely uncomfortable. She probably thinks I am a prostitute. Only I am wearing the black warm-up pants that I got from the supply cabin and Eric's sweater oversized sweater; not the typical fashion of a working girl.

After a glaring once over, she remembers herself and resumes her smile, but not before he notices. His mood does a one-eighty making my stomach drop. He snatches the room key card and turns toward the elevator. It leaves me no choice but to hurry after him. This is not good. At least up until now he was in a better mood, but I know what happens when he is drunk and gets pissed.

The heaviness begins to build in my chest as he stands impatiently at the elevator. His anger palpable in the air surrounding him. Again, I'm wishing I hadn't done this. His anger scares me enough to freeze me in my spot.

The elevator finally dings and opens after what feels like forever. He walks forward but my feet are frozen in place until he gives me that look. The look send ice through my body. This will not end well if I don't behave. I want to get out of here with the least amount of pain as possible.

Finally, my feet move just as he starts to move his hand to grab me. The thought of what he might do to me is enough to slide forward. Once I'm in, he roughly pulls me by my arm closer to him staking his claim despite the absence of other people.

The elevator finally stops on the thirteenth floor. We're almost at the top. Considering the expensive interior, these rooms must cost a fortune. Once in the room, my thoughts are confirmed. It is a striking corner suite. A beautiful sitting room overlooks the stunning mountain view. A large bed is centered in the room through the door that flanks a mini bar area. _Great it probably has more alcohol._

"Sit down," he snaps taking his flask out. Doing as I'm told I sit down on the larger couch. I fumble with my phone in my jacket pocket as he rummages around the mini bar. To my surprise, he comes over handing me a glass.

"Drink it." I oblige but only take a small drink. I need a clear head. The taste of soda only makes me want to laugh. For a moment, I though he was actually giving me alcohol to drink.

He lets out a grunt. "You didn't think I would give you a real drink did you?" he mocks. "You really don't use your head, do you?"

"I don't know why you always have to disobey me." He continues, "I think being around all those boys has really screwed you up." As much as I want to tell him to fuck off, there are some other questions I need answered before I lose my chance.

"Where are we going?"

"Back to Chicago of course. I was recently offered a new position there working with troubled teens; how apt." He says walking over to the window.

"Then what do you need me for? I'm sure you will have your pick of little girls to satisfy you." I keep my voice monotone, in an attempt to not sound condescending.

"Yes, I suppose I will. Working in these positions the last several years, has given me the pick of the crop. Trouble girls tend to give in much easier. Some of them even came close to being what I wanted, but none of them can compare to you. Your picture made it hard to forget you." _Picture?_ I had a feeling he kept those couple he took of me.

"I found myself being drawn to girls who looked like you. Young, similar eyes, body, and hair. Most of them gave in much easier than you even. If I wouldn't have found you, I suppose I would managed, but why now that I have you." A sly smile pulls at his mouth.

"I admit, the younger ones are much more compliant. You were definitely a much better listener when you were younger. I don't know, maybe you will disappoint me and I will be forced to get my fill somewhere else, or maybe we can grow our little family."

Bile rises in my mouth and the heaviness start closing in on my chest. "What?" I almost whine at what that could mean.

"It's an option. It could be fun to have two of you. Then again, you have displeased me by disobeying me. You need to learn your lesson." He sets his glass on the table and begins to take off his belt. _NO!_

"Lay down on your back." My head shakes no. This isn't going to happen. "Are you telling me no?"

"You are not going to beat me."

"Beat you? I'm going to teach you a lesson, there is a big difference. You have been a bad girl and bad girls get punished. Now do what your told." I don't move and the crack of the belt echoes off my arm. "NOW!"

Scrambling, I jump over the back of the couch, but not before another blow his the center of my back causing me to cry out in pain and fall to the ground.

His hand wraps around my arm before I can get to my feet. "Don't be stupid. Get over here and learn your lesson, or you're not going to sit down for a week." He drags me back around the couch throwing me onto it as another slap lays across my back. His knee comes down on my back pinning me in place.

"Your mine dammit, and you are going to learn that one way or another." Tears fall down my cheeks as another one hits the back of my thighs, and then in quick succession another.

The blows pause. "Now, it's time to be a good girl and listen. You know I don't like hurting you, so just do as you are told." The pressure on my back lets up a little. "Are you ready to be a good little girl?"

I shake my head yes quickly before he decides to keep hitting me. "Good, now turn over on your back."

With pain shooting through my body, I do as he commands. Relief spreads across his face as he sees my obedience. "Good girl."

He grabs a chair from the desk next to the couch setting it right in front of me. I wipe the tears from my cheeks and try to control my erratic breathing. Putting down the belt on his lap, he begins to undo his pants. An unwanted and all too familiar feeling settles in the air.

 _It's now or never!_

With all the energy I can muster, I bounce up and leap over the back of the couch again, but this time I keep my footing. It was never my plan to sit here and let him go through with his delusional plan. I make it to the door in a few short seconds but he has locked it with a chain. My fingers quickly work to undo it but he slams into me from behind just as I get it off.

"Bad girl!" My head slams against the door and his arms wrap around me. Without another thought my elbow meets his gut before my fist meets his balls. A whoosh of air feels like a hurricane on my neck and I throw my head back perfectly connecting with his nose.

His arms release me, but I grab them before they leave my body. I take a few steps back with him stumbling trying to keep from falling and with all my might I flip him forward over my shoulder.

"I'm not a little fucking kid anymore you bastard," I yell in his face as I jump on top of him.

My fingers wrap in his thinning hair and I pull up quickly the slam his head back into the ground. "You fucking coward." Another slam. "You don't own me!" Slam. "I…" slam, "Am…" slam, "Not…" slam,

"Yours!"

He moves his head groggily to the side letting me know he is still conscious. "If you ever come near me again, I'll kill you. If you ever touch anyone I love again, I will kill you. You don't scare me anymore. You're just a pathetic piece of shit, who gets his kicks off of beating and abusing little girls. Not anymore." A smile spreads across my face as I realize I have won.

"You bitch." He murmurs and I slam his head into the ground again. This time, his head goes limp in my hands. He's out. There is blood the carpet under the back of his head and I check his pulse to make sure he is not dead.

Unfortunately, my plan is not to kill him. Getting to my feet I quickly leave the hotel suite, sprinting down the fire escape stairs using what adrenaline I have left. As I finally reach the bottom, I take out the phone that is somehow is still in my pocket.

Turning off the airplane mode, I dial 9-1-1. "9-1-1 what is your emergency?"

"A man attached me and tried to rape me." My voice is raspy and quiet after my thirteen-flight sprint down the stairs.

"Where are you at miss? Are you alright?" She instantly is in alert mode.

"I'm fine, I fought him off and he is unconscious. He is at the Seatac Double Tree Hotel in suite 1310. His head was bleeding pretty bad and he probably needs an ambulance."

"What is your name Miss? Where are you?" She asks, but I hang up before she can ask anything else, or the call can be traced, and I rush across the lobby keeping my head down.

Once I'm outside the rush of cool air is refreshing, but I keep on moving heading south on the sidewalk. I need to get somewhere safe and call Eric. The police sirens are already filling the air and I need to get as far away as possible.

Several blocks away, I come to a large park at a lake. This place should be good for now. I move down the hill toward the water to get out of sight of the main road. Out of breath, I plop down on a bench. _I can't believe that just happened!_

My limbs feel like jelly. I can't believe I did it. I'm free of him and if this next part goes right…

Squealing wheels interrupt my thoughts. In a panic, my attention turns toward the parking lot. Relief floods through me as I see four familiar faces pile out of an SUV. Eric scoops me up in his arms squeezing me incredibly tight.

"What the fuck…" he shouts but it is cut off by my cry of pain.

"What? What the fuck did he do?" He says putting me down as he starts pulling up my shirt and examining me. "Holy Shit." I imagine there are some pretty righteous bruises starting to form on my back, and probably on my thighs and arm too. His hands stop on mine turning them. It is only then I notice I still have blood on my hands.

Max, Jeff, and Harrison all converge on me with concerned faces. I grab Eric's face to make sure he listens carefully. "We need to leave now. I will tell you everything, but let's go home to our condo and I will explain everything there. We need to get out of here."

"Explain it now." Max interrupts.

"Max please. The condo is not far, let's just go and I promise I will explain, but if we don't the police are going to find me, and with my record, I won't be getting out anytime soon." He stares as a war brews in his head. "Please."

"Fine. Let's go." We get in the SUV quickly and we head to the condo. It is not far and that is how long I have to explain what I have decided to do. No one is going to be happy, especially Eric, but it was for the best; and it worked.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed it. Almost finished. Let me know what you thought. Until next time!**


	21. Chapter 21

**I know you have been dying for this so here it is. Enjoy!**

 **This story is rated M/MA for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!**

 **Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.**

* * *

 **Chapter 21**

 _(Saturday, March 18th)_

"Here babe. I think you are going to want to see this." Eric says, handing me his tablet.

The news app is open and a woman comes onto the screen:

 _"_ _We are bringing you an update to a the rather disturbing story we first broke Thursday morning when a well-known Chicago philanthropist was arrested in Seattle after being discharged from Harborview Hospital where he was admitted, suffering from a concussion. Initially Seattle police would only say that he had been arrested for suspicion of attempted rape of an unknown victim. While we still have little information regarding the victim, more details have come to light over the last few days regarding Mr. Redding himself._

 _Following up an anonymous tip, Chicago's FBI office served search warrants at Mr. Redding's place of work and his home yesterday evening. We are now being told that those warrants uncovered a barrage of child pornography, going back almost twenty years. Even more disturbing was the admission by authorities that Mr. Redding's employment history primarily revolved around jobs where he worked with young children and spanned nine different states. The identities of his victims are currently unknown, but a detective close to the case said this morning, 'because the victims are minors, they will not be releasing the identities.' The detective also stated that with the amount of evidence already complied, Mr. Redding will likely not see the outside of a prison cell for the rest of his life._

 _Seattle Police and the local FBI are still looking for the female victim that is believed to have fought off Mr. Redding while at a Seatac hotel in the early morning hours on Wednesday. The only other information they have release regarding the attack, is that they now believed it was also the female victim who initially called police to report the attack, and that by the time they arrived, she was nowhere to be found. We will continue to keep you updated as we get more information."_

A wave of relief washes over me. _It's over._ He is going to jail for the rest of his life. I never thought I'd see this day.

For the longest time, I was just happy enough to forget it. My walls were enough to keep it far in the back of my mind, and as long as it stayed there. I was mostly content living with that outcome.

Then I came here, where it was all brought back to the surface. It left me wondering how long before I could bury it deep again. I would have never thought in a thousand years, that the last few months would play out like this. But it has, and this week has been the most excruciating.

The last few days have been extremely tense. The worst kind of game of 'hurry up and wait' ever. It has been even harder than getting everyone to calm down Wednesday after we finally got to the condo, I had a lot of explaining to do.

 _Flashback Wednesday_

I only make it two steps through the door before Eric starts in. "We're home, now talk!" He says stepping in front of me. There is so much concern in his face, but I'm not ready yet. My nerves are shot and still on edge. The ghost feeling of his hands on my body sends a shiver through my whole body.

Taking his face in my hands, I gently pull his face down to me and place a soft kiss on his lips attempting to calm him a little. "Babe I will talk, I promise, but after what I just went through, I need a really hot shower and a few minutes to myself… Please."

I place another kiss on his lips and plead with my eyes for him to understand. After a few moments of silence, I take it as his answer. Stepping around him, I head for the master bedroom allowing the door to close behind me.

Jeff's words come muted through the door telling Eric it's best to give me some privacy. When I'm sure he isn't going to follow, I head in to do exactly what I said. Sitting down I remove my boots and socks. Still tucked into each of my socks are throwing knives. Another item I was able to get from the supply cabin, but I made a pact to myself to only use them as a last resort. It was bad enough that I planned a little self-gratification beating but bring a weapon into it would have upped the stakes if I end up getting caught. I'm an adult now – assault with a deadly weapon is a serious charge and with my criminal history, likely heavy jail time. It is bad enough if I'm caught I could be looking at jail time anyway.

As I peel off my clothes, I examine the damage. Thankfully, they are mostly limited to bruises on my arms, back, and thighs. I think the sweater helped soften the blows to my back, but the marks are still clear to see. The ones on my legs are much darker. He didn't hold back as he hit me this time. When I was little, it was always painful but it's clear now that he never hit me with full force.

A faint bruise decorates on my left cheek, and another on my hip from my fall behind the couch. I guess all in all, I got out of there in okay shape. It may be a few days before I can move without pain, but it's been worse; at least there is no cuts.

The scalding shower feels like heaven washing away the grime, including the small amounts of blood that still stain my hands. I can't help but wonder if I went too far. It wasn't my intention to kill him but there was a lot of blood and I still don't even know if my plan is going to work. It shouldn't take long to find out.

Once I finally feel somewhat clean, I get out and throw on some yoga pants and a sweater. Carefully, I tuck the knives into my underwear drawer in the bedroom. It's time to do some explaining.

Timidly I walk out to the living room trying not to make a sound. All the guys are scattered throughout the condo each staring at their phones with the exception of Jeff who is waiting for the teapot to boil. Naturally Eric is the first to notice me.

"Better?" he asks with a half sarcastic, half pissed off tone. Everyone else turns toward me.

It takes a deep breath to keep me from firing off something equally sarcastic back at him. Instead I plant myself on the small couch, pulling my legs up in front of me as a partial barrier. After a minute or two of silence, the guys all slowly follow me over to the sitting area joining me. Eric sinks into the seat next to me. After a moment of hesitation and a heavy sigh, he carefully pulls me next to him, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. _God if feels nice to be back in his arms._

Jeff hands me a cup of tea with a slight smile and I return it; it's what I need. Eric's forehead presses on my temple. "Now can you please tell me what happened?" He is much calmer and his voice is only filled with concern.

Starting from the argument the night before, I explain in detail what happened. None of them seemed pleased with my decision but the remained quiet and let me tell my story all the way through. Surprisingly enough, it wasn't as difficult as I thought. I explained the many different scenarios that I had planned for, and how if nothing else, he would never be able to hurt anyone again.

Remembering how I finally was able to protect myself, to get away myself, without relying on anyone else, it was… gratifying. As I told them it was like a weight slowly lifting off my shoulders. Weight of the wall that I had carried around for so many years, weight of my shame and regret, of my weakness. Feelings I never have to feel again.

"Am I missing something?" Harrison asks as I finish my story with them finding me at the park. I look at him a confused, "How are you going to prove anything he said?" he clarifies.

Carefully I pull my phone out of my pocket. "With this." I go into the gallery app, and hit play on the most recent video. Voices spring from my phone and Eric snatches it out of my hand before I can protest. He turns the up to loudest setting and they all listen to the conversation I had with Mr. Redding.

When he was getting drinks at the bar, I had opened my video app and pressed play. I was a little worried it wouldn't pick up the whole conversation but our voices come across clear as day.

The whole room gets tense once he as me to lie down. I don't think one of them is breathing. Eric's arm that is still slung across my shoulders tenses and tightens around me as it continues and the sounds of his belt hitting me begins echoing in the room. Jeff's face turns ghost white and Max stands and turns away.

It's a relief when it finally ends but the air in the room is thick with emotion from all four guys. I try to stand but Eric is frozen in place. Eric speechless; that doesn't happen often. I nudge him silently pleading for him to let me up.

He releases me after a moment of hesitation. I rise going over to the sliding glass door and open it for some fresh sea air. Closing my eyes, I inhale a deep breath of it; It's refreshing.

Clearing his throat, Max walks up behind me. Turning to him, his red eyes give away his reason from turning away from me while he listened. "Dani. We have to take this to the police don't you."

"Actually, I have a different idea." He tilts his head about to object, but I hold up my hand stopping him. I plan on the police getting ahold of this, but if it all the same to everyone, I would rather stay out of the circus show I am sure this is going to end up being."

 _End Flashback_

Originally, I had planned to go to the police when I was ready. It was the part of my plan that was the least appealing, but his confession of his crimes and of the pictures he kept from so long ago, got me thinking. The drive back to our condo, and me asking for a few minutes wasn't just to get my bearings straight, it was to formulate one last plan to keep me out of the investigation that surely would ensue. Thankfully everyone was more than happy to go along with my last-minute plan.

We left back to the camp soon after I explained it all. With Will's technical genius, he sent the recording with a carefully prepare explanation to the Chicago's FBI office. He used a local library's Wi-Fi creating a few bounced signals around the world to hide his tracks and keep everything from being tied back to us.

"It's finally over." I whisper still staring at the tablet.

Eric's pulls me up to my feet and wraps his arms around me. "Fuck, I hope so." I glance up at him with questioning eyes. "We have had enough craziness to last us a lifetime."

It's still early but the rest of the staff slowly begin to file into the mess hall for our final meeting to close out this session. With Harrison going back to Chicago taking Tori and Laura with him, it is a little more of a show this time around.

Four and Tris walk in making my face light up as I see her bundle of joy in her arms. "Tris!" Me and several of the other girls' gush at the same time. We rush to see baby Sam. He is so small still but his beautiful little face makes you melt in your place.

"When did he get released?" Chris asks.

"A few days ago. We wanted it to be a surprise today." She glances at Max with a knowing smile. We all though he had a few more weeks before he was coming home.

"They released him early because he's doing so well. We'll have a few things to deal with for a few more weeks, but they said they don't think there will be any long-term effects of his early birth."

Christian pulls my attention as he comes through the door with Tori hot on his heels, but she doesn't look very happy making my nerves go to high alert. She moves to Max whispering something in his ear and I know it can't be good. My fear is confirmed when Max discreetly ask me and Eric to follow him outside.

We allow him to lead us out the door and my hand tightens around Eric's arm. "Max? What is going on?" He asks before I have a chance to. Truth be told I have a golf ball in my throat preventing me from saying anything.

"There is someone from the FBI here to talk to Dani. For heaven's sake, both of you please keep your cool." He warns as we enter the office. Keeping it professional, Eric and I put a little space between before crossing the door way. We already discussed this and I know what to do.

Max leads us and offers his hand to the detective. "Hello. My name is Max, I own this camp. This is my Operations Manager Eric, and as requested, our newest teacher Danielle Courtney. How can we help you?"

"Thank you Max and sorry for the unannounced intrusion. My name is Detective Saul Jeremy. I was hoping to get to talk with Ms. Courtney in private if you don't mind."

"Please call me Dani…" I say, but Max quickly cuts me off.

"Actually, if it is all the same to you, we prefer to stay. Dani is my employee and she is on the clock. If there is an issue, I believe Eric and I should be present."

"The thing is the information I would like to speak to Dani about is pretty… sensitive… and quite troubling. I think she would appreciate my discretion in this matter." He argues.

In an attempt to keep things, cool I interject, "It is okay detective. I prefer they stay."

He looks at me with stitched brows. "You're sure? This has to do with a camp you attended when you were younger." He hints and when I don't say anything, he continues, "I was serious when I said this was sensitive." He says quietly, his eyes imploring me to dismiss them.

"It's okay detective. Both of them know pretty much everything about me." While that is fairly accurate, they never really got the gory details, and chances are they may come out right now, but it doesn't bother me as much as it once did. I knew there was a chance that, despite our carefulness to cover our tracks, hey still might track find out it was me.

He spends several more seconds looking between the three of us. "Alright, I tried to warn you." He sighs and Max gestures for us all to take a seat at the small round table in the corner. The detective sits down with us following him, but both Max and Eric nudge me to sit directly across from the detective while they sit to each side of me.

He takes a folder out of his brief case and pulls a photo from it. "I assume you know who this is." He slides the photo in front of me.

I take a deep breath. "It's Mr. Redding. He was a teacher at the camp I attended when I was younger." The detective obviously already knows this much.

"And did you know he was arrested here in Washington a few days ago." He questions.

Carefully choosing my words I answer, "I have seen the reports on the news."

"So, you have seen the allegations against him. What we found when we raided his home and workplace?"

"I do." He lets out another sigh and take to more pictures out of his folder, but keeps this face down getting my attention.

He glances again at Max and Eric before continuing. "Dani, I am sorry, this may be… I need confirmation on this." He looks down at the pictures lying face down on the table. _Fuck!_ "Dani, can you please tell me if this is you." He says flipping the pictures over but partially covers both of them with his hands before I can stop him.

The wind is knocked out of me, and in unison Max and Eric look away with gasp of shock. The pictures show my nine-year-old self lying naked on the bed, bruises coloring my thighs, and my frightened young face staring at me. He turns them back over, quickly sliding them back into the folder. Gratefully, he at least he hid my intimate parts with his hands.

"Dani, I know this is hard, but I need your confirmation."

Max stands up. "Detective this is…" My hand reaches up and my eyes meet his.

"It's okay Max." He bites his cheek and sinks back into his seat.

"Yes, that was me. How did you know?" My own curious nature wanting to know how he put this all together. Mr. Redding even said it but it was in and out of my head. I never thought they would be able to connect them to me. I was just a face in a picture.

"To identify the many pictures we recovered, we dated each of them, and then complied files on possible victims based on where he was working at the time. For these ones, we pulled school records, which included school photos of young girls who attended the camp the summer you were there." Of course, they were smart enough to figure it out. They are the FBI. I just never figured it would happen; at least not this fast.

"Funny enough, your file was the first one I picked up. It was much thicker than most of the files which drew my attention to it, and I was shocked when I opened it and saw a very striking resemblance." Eric's hand squeezes my leg under the table and I know he is tense but it brings me a bit of comfort.

"As I investigated you further, I came across a very big coincidence. It seemed you were working in Washington, and your home address listed in your juvenile record was just a few miles from where Mr. Redding was arrested." _Crap!_ I'd forgotten. When I was released we had to give them Eric's address so they could send my final paperwork.

"Yes, that is interesting." I feign a smile, trying to keep from outright admitting to anything.

"You know what else is interesting? The description given by the receptionist at the front desk of the hotel, fits your juvenile record pretty accurately." Well there isn't much point of denying it anymore, but he continues, "Almost as interesting as that bruise you're are sporting on your cheek. I have a feeling if I was to examine you more closely I would find many more bruises on you." Max sinks further into his seat next to me letting out a sigh; he knows it too.

He continues without giving a chance to respond. "What the media didn't say was what the anonymous tip was. See, we got a recorded conversation of Mr. Redding admitting to abusing the female in the recording, along with implicating himself in others, as well as future intentions. The conversation then turned into an attack, which led us to believe it was the attack in the hotel a few days ago. The attack sounded pretty brutal, but you already knew that didn't you?"

A deafening silence falls over the room. "So, what now detective? And for the record, I don't think my attack on him would be considered brutal, it was self-defense." Eric's grip on my leg tightens and is almost unbearable. I know I was supposed to just keep denying everything, but there is no point in denying it. The detective did his homework and probably knew he had the right person when I walked through the door.

"I wasn't referring to what you did to him." He says quietly, his shoulders relaxing a tad. "May I see?"

Rising to my feet, I give Eric's shoulder a squeeze to put him at ease, and slide around behind him to stand next to the detective.

Removing my jacket, I turn my back to him and carefully lift up my tank top. "Ouch." He says behind me. The bruises on my back are bad but not the worse.

"There are more on my legs."

"Can I see?"

Thank goodness, I went for a run this morning and still have my running spandex on. I slowly pull down my track pants and carefully roll up my shorts. The bruises deepened over the last few days and turned some pretty nasty colors, but they don't hurt as much today.

"Jesus Christ. Why in the world did you run the other day? Why didn't you stay there?" He asks.

Half laughing, I pull up my pants and face him, no longer being able to contain myself. These last few days have been overly emotional and I have not had time to fully recover.

"Is that a joke? After everything he put me through – after all these years of fucking suffering and everything he's done these last few weeks. Isn't it obviously Mister Fucking Detective or did you not read that thick ass file of yours. I have been in and out of trouble for assault, because of everything that sick fuck did to me. I have a juvenile recorded as thick as a dictionary making me the least creditable person on the planet, and it is his word against mine. Does that sound like something you would want to face because I sure in the hell didn't want to!"

Familiar arms wrap around me, pulling me back a little. "Babe, babe. Calm down." Only then do I realize that I had been yelling in the detective's face, as tears are steaking down my mine. Quickly I dry my face on my shirt.

The detective's eyes shoot between Eric's arms around me and his face. A moment later his eyebrows shoot up. "Well that puts another piece of the puzzle into place."

"What the hell does that mean?" Eric asks.

"Well, out of everything we found, it was all pertaining to young girls. Except for one photo. We had no idea who it was only that it was recent printed. We thought maybe his taste changed recently, but nothing panned out. It was a picture of you, although you are a bit younger in the picture. I knew you looked familiar when you walked in. Something tells me he knew you two were together."

"Yes, he did." Taking a deep breath, pulling my wits together and gathering my thoughts to explain. Eric sits pulling me into his lap. Cat's out of the bag anyway.

I proceed to give the detective the short version of everything that has happened recently. All the encounters, why I didn't come forward, and more importantly, why I put myself into danger to get proof. I knew no one was going to believe me over him. I had to make sure that he would never have another chance to hurt me, or anyone else. When I finish my story, he remains quiet deep in thought processing everything I explained.

"Detective." Max finally speaks up. I almost had forgotten he was there. "Dani, has been through enough, both then and now. She spent all these years suffering and trying to cope. Despite all that, she put her life in danger to stop this psychopath and barely made it out alive. She led the FBI to loads of information that you all will use to put him away; hopefully for good. Even got you a recorded confession. Is there any possible way we can keep her name out of this? The last thing she needs is the public exposure and them digging for the gruesome details."

He sits quietly for what seems like an hour until his lips press in a tight line. "I suppose, but only if I can get a statement of everything. What happened as a kid, and more recently stuff, along with a detailed description of what happened at the hotel. I will agree to put it in my personal file and only use it as a last resort. However, I think you are right. We have a lot of evidence against him. More than likely we will offer him a plea, of nothing less than life in prison without the possibility of parole. With what we have against him, he would be an idiot not to accept. No trial means no reason to put your statement in the case. No one else needs to know your story."

"Thank you, detective. Was there anything else you need?" Max ask standing and we all follow suit.

"No. Here," He hands me a card with his information on it. "Please send me your statement and photos of the injuries you sustained in the attack. I give you my word, I will do everything in my power to keep you out of this." He tells me and the sincerity in his eyes tells me he means it.

"Thank you."

"Sorry to interrupt your morning." He says to all of us collecting his things. "Dani, I will keep you updated on the case and my apologies for today. You're a very brave woman and I know many women are going to be grateful you did what you did. Good luck with your new teaching position and I hope to not see you in anymore trouble." He smirks.

"Yeah, I'll work on that." I say shaking his hand. He turns and leaves getting into a black SUV and driving off.

I turn around and hug Eric. His grip on me is impossibly tight, like he may never let go. It is really done and over. Now I will never have that worry that the police may show up someday at my door step and take me away. It's over and god willing, no one else will ever have to know my past.

Max turns to me, "Well, I knew things around here would be interesting with you here Dani, but I never envisioned all this."

"Max I'm sorry…" He holds up his hand.

"Nothing to be sorry for. I'm just glad you can put your demons behind you. That's it right? Nothing else that is going to come back and bite you, or me in the ass right because I don't think my old ticker can handle another session of craziness." He jokes.

"Yes Max, that's it." Smiling I look to Eric. "Unless you have more crazy ex's I don't know about?" He gives me a weird look and shakes his head.

Max laughs. At least he thought it was funny. He pats Eric on the back, "Good, now let's go. We're late for breakfast."

Following Max, we head back to the hall, but even as we go in Eric's arm is still tight around me. I look up to him to ask him what's wrong, but his expression stops me. He looks as if he is going to be sick. "Eric?"

"Marry me!" His rushed words spew out with a finality to them. My body instantly chills to ice temperature. My eyes dart around to see if anyone heard him. _Did he really just say that?_

"Eric?" I choke out. He can't be serious. I'm eighteen, we have only known each other for a few months. "You… We…"

"Dammit Dani, I just spent the last thirty minutes scare shitless that he was going to take you away from me. Scared that I may never hold you in my arms again. I need you like I need breath in my lungs, and I would die a thousand deaths just to keep you in my arms. I don't want to live without you, ever."

More damn tears pool in my eyes. Who says Hardcore Eric can't be sweet? "Well." I mumble thawing out easily at his confession, feeling much lighter and less frightened of the possibility. "That wasn't the most romantic way to asks but..." Suddenly he drops to his knee and the room goes quiet.

"Eric!" My loud whisper pleads with him. Not in front of everyone! _Shit, there are so many people here._

With that all knowing smirk on his face, he takes my hand. "You want romantic?" He whispers before raising his voice to allow the room into our conversation. "Dani, from the moment I met you, you have been a royal pain in my ass." Chuckles fill the room and he smiles before turning serious again.

"But, you also pull me out of my own box. You taught me it was okay to feel, to love, to care. You let me into your box, and together we filled a space in each other, we both thought was never reachable. We have been through so much yet, there are so many things I still want to do in life. But they are all meaningless, unless you agree to be there to do them with me. So marry me, please, because now that I've found love with you, I don't ever want to live without it." A smile spreads across my face and tears roll down my cheeks and I quickly wipe them away, semi aware that everyone is watching.

"Of course, I'll marry you," I say covering my embarrassment with my one free hand. "Now get off your knee." I laugh at his over the top public confession and pull him up. He scoops me up in a hug lifting me off the ground, as he rises and spins me around. A deafening roar fills the hall as everyone explodes in cheers around us.

Setting me down he gently cups my face in his hands. "I love you." he whispers on my lips.

"I love you too but that was a little over the top, especially for you. I never thought I would see the day." I pull him to me kissing him passionately until we have to break for air.

All breathy, he gives me a real genuine Eric smile, melting my heart. "For you, it's worth it!"

* * *

 **Well - That's it (almost). I hoped you like it. I will finish this book off with the Epilogue hopefully in the next week or two. I hope you enjoyed this series as much as I did. Give me your final thoughts, Reviews, Disappointments, What you love (or hated), I want to know. Love all of my readers and thank you so much for your support!**


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